So, I smile brightly and look at myself at the mirror.

But my reflection shows me crying as if i’ll die tomorrow.

***

Ágain today, I said to myself i’ll be fine.

Again today, I said to myself everything will be okay.

Again today, I said to my self... you’re not coming back.

It’s like my heart refuse to accept that you’re not coming back.

It’s like my heart refuse to accept that you’re out from my life.

It’s like my heart refuse to accept that you’re a history now.

“hyung~ you know, you look best in white~ so why you wear bla—”

“shut up jongup... I’m not in mood to hear your annoying voice.. it’s still morning don’t break the mood”

Those cruel words that I said, I’m sorry.

“hyung... what?”

“you’re nothing jongup... it’s arranged marriage...”

Those cruel words that I said, was a lie.

“this teddy bear is so cute hyung! Thanks! I lo—”

“don’t get your hope too high... I’ll never look at you.”

Those cruel words that I said, was a mistake.

“hyung do you.. hate me?”

“I hate you”

Moon Jongup, I love you.

“........ how much?”

“so much”

I love you, So much.

Today again, I looked at myself at the mirror and my reflection laugh at me, it’s like there’s hunderd of me, and they laugh at me.

They laugh at my mistakes.

They laugh at me because I made you suffer.

They laugh at me because I was blind, too blind to see the love in your eyes.

They laugh at me because I was an idiot who didn’t even know my feelings back then.

They laugh at me because I can’t move on.

“hyung...”

“not now jongpup”

“but...”

“what part of NOT.NOW that you don’t understand?”

“sorry... hyung”

When I lift my head and see my reflection on the mirror again, and my reflection is crying like there’s no tomorrow, they’re crying as if i’ll die tomorrow.

They cry because I didn’t listen to you that day.

They cry because I didn’t even search for you when you leave.

They cry because I didn’t even call you once when you’re missing.

They cry because I didn’t even know that you’re dying.

They cry because.... you’re gone.

They cry, because when I found you, you’re already sleeping peacefully forever...

***

Dear my lovely husband, Jung Daehyun...

Hey, when you found this letter, it’s mean I’m no longer here... eventho I hope that we can meet for the last time.

Remember when I want to talk to you and you said not now? I was... i wanted to tell you that I’m dying even I know you probably don’t even care. I have cancer, and it’s already stage 4. I was hoping that you would listen, and have fun with me for the last time, but you were so busy. And I understand.

Daehyun-ah... do you really hate me that much? Why? That was the questions that roams in my head everyday, why?... did I do something wrong? If yes, I’m so sorry.. or am I really annoys you? I’m sorry too...

In this letter, I actually just want to say that, I love you for the last time hyung... but, I know you don’t want to read those words, and I realized that, I was hurting too much... so..

I hate you hyung..... so much.

Jongup

I laugh in my cry like a crazy person. Because everything, everything doesn’t feel real, because everything looks like a dream.

It was 30 years ago when I found you, sleeping peacefully on that hospital bed, looking beautiful as usual.

It was 30 years ago when I realized it was late.

It was 30 years ago when  I realized that I love you, and you’re gone.

And now I’m here standing, looking back at the mirror, where my reflection looking back at me, crying.

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Author note : sorry it as usual well, the song “This Isn’t Right” is a very beautiful song, you guys should listen to it.. and if you guys don’t mind..... follow @nomnomkboys on INSTAGRAM hehehehe... that’s my fanacc, and i was just started, and if you have a fanacc too... we can follow each other and have fun~

And about the story, it actually ended up so..... far from what’s in my mind.... well it turn out pretty good actually (I THINK ;--; BUT YOU GUYS ARE THE JUDGES HERE) and i think i should stop killing jongup in my stories OTL

Daejong is beautiful okay if it’s come to angst so give them a lot of love. <3

And, I actually starting to like LUCK pairing (LeoxHyuk) from V.I.X.X, VIXX!... so, here’s the second story. about them..... hyuk is a total uke okay...

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