The cresent moon hung from above while slightly titling it's body to one side, greeting the both of us with a gentle smile. I looked up, only to find the twinkling stars shining as brightly as ever, giving the both of us teasing winks as we sat below them. I closed my eyes as I inhaled deeply, with the calming scent of nature invading my nostrils. The wind was not as chilling as usual. On the contrary, it possessed a hint of warm in its calming breeze. 

I turned to my right as my eyes met a pair of familiar dark chocolate brown eyes. For a moment, my entire body was paralyzed by her loving gaze. I could feel this strange yet comfortable sensation invading my body as we stood there in beautiful silence, with our eyes locked onto each other's. A wave of emotions overwhelmed me as I still couldn't believe it. The love of my life was finally mine. After all these years of suffering in silence, she finally saw me the same way I have always been seeing her as, more than a friend, a soulmate. After staring into each other's eyes for a while, both of us couldn't help but smile. 

"I love you," she said with the sweetest voice I've ever heard. 

Without uttering another word, with our eyes still glued onto each other's, I tilted my head and went in for a passionate kiss. When our lips touched, she jerked and tensed up but soon relaxed, slowly wrapping her arms around my neck to deepen the kiss. I missed her lips more than anything in the world. It had been way too long that it felt unreal, too good to be true. I  rested my hands on her waist and pulled her closer to me. The familiar electrical sensation greeted me as it passed through my whole body. My heart was beating faster than ever, with my ears felt like they were burning and my face in a shade of pink. I gently pulled away from her, as we stared at each other in beautiful silence once more. 

"I love you," I whispered into her ears, making sure that nobody else on Earth could hear my most genuine confession and only she could.

I took a step closer and tilted my head up to plant a gentle peck on her forehead. She couldn't help but smile at my gesture. I took her hand in mine as we started taking a slow stroll on the beach. She leaned close to me as we intertwined our fingers, leaving no gaps between them. Even though I knew this would not last long, I still treasured every moment of it while we were still in love with each other and nobody knew about us. 

"Taengoo ah~" she called with her killer aegyo as I turned to face her.

"Yes, my love?" I answered while waiting for her to continue.

"I know this will totally kill the mood but... I'm sorry, I can't do this," She apologized while catching me off guard.

Without further elaborating on her point, I already knew what she was talking about. She's a girl, I'm one too. It dawned on us that we were never meant to be together. With the society not being able to accept this kind of relationship, we knew, it would be really hard and we wouldn't have a good future. Our friends and family, even strangers will look at us differently. Everyone will judge us, point fingers and will never leave us alone if we ever told them the truth.  Society always tells us to be ourselves, yet what everyone else does is plainly judge without knowing anything about others. How truly depressing...

"TaeTae, thanks for always being there for me, to cheer me up when I am down, to never stop trying and never giving up on me. Even when I was loving someone else, you loved me still. Even when you know every single thing about me, my weaknesses, my flaws, my bad temper, my selfish ways, my childish tantrums, you still loved me unconditionally. I'm sorry I took so long to figure out your feelings for me, it must have been hard to hide all this love for all these years," she said as her voice became softer and weaker while she spoke.

"TaeTae, thanks for everything you have done for me. I'm so grateful to have such a bestfriend like you. I'm sorry I've always made you cry and heartbroken over me. Thanks for always being as sweet as sugar and giving me diabetes all the time. Thanks for your sweet romantic little surprises, hugs and kisses to make my day. You never fail to make me laugh even when I am not even in the mood to smile. I love you, silly," she said as a tear escaped her eyes when she said the last four words.

I didn't reply her, instead, I wrapped my arms around her, embracing her with my warmth. Without hesitation, she instinctively wrapped her arms around me and dug her face into my neck and collar bone area.

"I'm so sorry that we can't be together. I love you but... I just can't handle how other people would see me after this. I cry every night thinking of how people would think of me if I ever told them my feelings for you, but at the same time I'm also afraid to lose you, Tae. I'm so indecisive and confused. I'm sorry if I am so contradicting and hurt you every time. I always tell you that I only want to be bestfriends  like how we've always been and yet, I feel like kissing you the next moment because of your sweetness. If you're a boy, I would've dated you ever since the start, but you are a girl. I love you, but I  still have some feelings towards him too. I'm so sorry," she said as her voice cracked while saying the last sentence.

I couldn't breathe, her words left me speechless.  I felt paralysed momentarily. My heart ached upon seeing her in this state. She was never those type of girls who cry easily over some petty litle thing, I knew how hurt she was at that moment. I couldn't do anything else but hug her tighter than before as I gently her back with my left hand to calm her down.

"Fany ah~ It's okay, I understand. I don't need you to choose. I'm already glad that after all these years of suffering in silence, pain and regret, you have finally loved this dork back. It was all worth it. I'm not even expecting you to choose me, or date me. I'm already happy just being us right now, loving each other secretly. I know we can't ever be together, so I'm not asking for much either. I just want us to be best of friends, like how we've always been. Even when someday you fall for someone else, I won't say  anything. I will still love you and be there for you like how I've always been, your guardian angel," I said sincerely as she sobbed silently in my arms.

"Why are you always so sweet even when you're bleeding so much?" She asked as I smiled.

"Well, beacuse I want the best for you, silly. I don't mind if I am hurting, if I have to let you go and give you to someone else. Yes, I  admit it hurts really badly but all i want is for you to be happy. If someone can give you more happiness, and a better future, then why not just let you go?  Thanks for everything, Fany. Thanks for teaching what is unconditional love. I never knew I could love someone so much and have them to be such a big part of my life. You have helped me in so many ways I don't even know where to start telling you. I'm so glad I have met someone like you, to be able be so close to you, be your bestfriend, to fall in love with an angel. I know we can't ever be, but thanks for loving me back in the end. You're truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you so much, my angel," I said as our lips met each other once more, but this time with a hint of bitter sweet inside.

"TaeTae, if I turn 30 years old, and I'm still single and you're still waiting for me... I will marry you," she said as I froze upon hearing  her words.

"W...what?" I stuttered as I thought my ears were playing with me like usual.

"If I turn 30 years old, nobody wants me and you still love me, I will marry you regardless of anything else. We could move to other countries if they still by then, do not accept same marriages," she elaborated as my heart raced and ears felt as if they were on fire.

"Promise?" I asked as I still couldn't believe my own ears.

"Promise," she said as she flashed me that angellic eye smile of hers which I thought I would never see again.

    With waves clashing and violently fighting the rocks on shore, I walked passed them while revisiting past memories in my head. Just like a roller coaster, when the ride goes up to the highest point, it is slow and steady, like where all our happiness lived, in the past. However, when it reaches the top (the ), everything changes and comes crashing down, as fast and unpredictable as lightning, totally catching me off guard.

Nothing lasts forever, there always will be some point where even though both of you want to hold on, the rest of the world will be pulling both of you apart. You cannnot do anything, you have no power or control. All you can do is watch, as your whole world is being taken away from you and all you have left with is emptiness. Plain emptiness. 

I stopped in my tracks as my eyes landed on the waves at the other side of the beach, calmly splashing onto shore, slowly spreading out and only to be retrieved back to the waters to form bigger waves. My heart sank as it all looked too familiar, it was where we used to play water together, many years ago when everything was still fine. I walked towards it while taking a walk down memory lane, remembering the good old days.

It had been years, every single day, I wake up hoping for miracles but only to be disappointed by the reality. Every single day, I tell myself I have stopped, but the truth was the exact opposite. I have never gotten over you.

 I still love you, I have never stopped. I lied. I just wanted to let you go so you would have a better future, you deserved one. I know I am not rich, not handsome and not a guy. I wanted to let you go so you would stop hurting over me. At least, you wouldn't be ashamed to tell other people who you love, you wouldn't need to hide and lie anymore. All I wanted was for you to be happy. If we were meant to be, I knew you would come back to me. You never did.

"Today's the day," I thought as I sighed deeply.

I fished out my phone from my pocket and dialed her number. 

"KIM TAEYEON, WHERE ARE YOU?! You're not gonna miss your bestfriend's wedding, are you?! Get your here right now!" she exploded as I gave a bitter smile.

"Sorry, Fany. I am caught up with something really urgent, I'm afraid I won't be able to make it today, so sorry," I said as I tried to sound happy but only to crack my voice at the end.

"Are you okay? You sound... sad. Did something happen?" she asked as I faked a laugh.

"Nope, I'm just really tired. I'm so sorry but this is really urgent, I have to go for this now so I can't make it to your wedding," I lied as she sighed.

"But what is a wedding without my bestfriend to be present for it?! You told me you would be here," she said as my heart ached upon hearing her disappointed tone.

"I'm so sorry, I'll try to make it for the after party, alright? Congratulations to the world's most beautiful girl once again," I said as this softened her up.

"Alright, please try to hurry~" she used she killer aegyo on me while I couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, dear," I said while we ended our phone call.

I stopped right next to a bench not far away from the calm waves which were making their way onto shore. I set myself down while staring at those waves, slowly getting lost in my thoughts. I closed my eyes as all of our memories came flowing back to me, the joys and sorrows, love and pain, happiness and sadness. They all seemed so recent, as if they only happened yesterday. I truly missed those days, when everything was fine. 

"Why... am I so afraid to lose you when you were never mine in the first place?" I asked myself as a tear escaped my eye.

"How can something so wrong feel so right?!" I thought as I let out another deep sigh.

I dug into my sling bag, treasure hunting for a certain treasure I never dared to take out of my bag. From there, I took out a familiar sky blue box about the size of my palm. Inhaling the scent of flowers in the air, I closed my eyes and used all of my courage to open it. The top clicked open, revealing a familiar black star necklace which I haven't seen in years. I took it out and gently wiped the surface of star.

I gave it to Tiffany as an apology gift after we fought that time, but to me, it was more than an apology gift. I bought her that as a "friendship" necklace, or should I say couple necklace. Sometimes, when we went out together, we would both wear them together, like how couples do. She had one and I had one too. Both of us are girls so I could never buy her a ring, people would suspect us so all I could buy her was a necklace. Whenever she was not with me and I miss her, I would think of the necklace and smile. Even though she wasn't with me physically, I could stilll feel her presence with me whenever I wore the necklace. 

"Thanks for everything, Fany. Thanks for coming to my life and turning it from hell to heaven. Thanks for coming into my life and changing me to become a better person. Thanks for accepting me for who I am and loving me regardless of my flaws. I love you so much, dear... but it's time for me to let you go, let us go," I thought as I coiled the string around the star.

"Thank you for all the happiness you have given me. Now, it's your turn to be happy too. Today, you will officially belong to someone else already. My waiting time is officially over. Thanks for sharing beautiful memories with me. I don't know when I will ever stop loving you, but I won't hold onto you anymore. You deserve to be happy, and I won't hold you back from it," I said as I kissed the star.

"Even though we were never meant to be, I am thankful that our hearts have found each other and for a moment, they were one. Even though we could not be together, I'm already thankful that you have finally loved me back. I won't cry, won't be sad. Instead, I will smile because I have met such a great person like you. Falling in love with you will truly be the best thing that has ever happened to me," I said as I started digging a whole in the sand.

"That promise, our promise will live in the past after today. This was where we loved, and also where this necklace deserves to be. My happiness is in the past, so this is where I am going to keep this necklace, locked up away in my beautiful memories. I will never forget us, our past and our feelings for each other. This place will forever keep our memories and happiness, and I'll feel nostalgic every time I think about this place in the future," I thought as I put the star necklace in the hole I have dug.

"Goodbye, beautiful memories. Goodbye to all those nights we stayed up late just texting each other, to those times we cried in each other's arms, to those times when our hearts were as one, to those moments where we could feel the sparks in our eyes, to the moments we spent as more than friends, to the days we waited for each other after school just to take the same bus home, to the moment I have confessed, to the time you broke up with him, to the time you struggled to choose which of us but couldn't so you chose none of us, to the time I had my first kiss, to the times when we would have secret meetings in toilets to have special moments together, away from the world around us, just the both of us, everything we have gone through," I said as I started covering the star with sand at the side.

"This is as far as I go. I love you so much, but... I have to move on now, I just have to. Let's just continue being best of friends, alright?" I said as my heart sank a little when I stood up.

"Goodbye, my love. Hello, my bestfriend," I said as I hesitantly walked away from the covered star necklace.

That promise, our promise... ends here.