“Will you be my girlfriend?”

 

Your heart thudded against your chest, as Jung Daehyun, the guy you had a crush for about a year now, finally asked you out. He had been your friend at first, slowly becoming a close friend, and then your best friend. You did everything together throughout high school. He would cheer you up when you didn’t do well on a test and offer to help you (all the while teasing you here and there), and he would even hear you out on all your boy crushes. He would do little things that always made your day, and was always by your side. Before you knew it, you had fallen for him. You didn’t know at first, until you started noticing how his smile always brought a warm tingling feeling to your stomach. How his voice was huskier than when you had first started high school (his Busan accent escaping every now and then when he got too excited or frustrated). Gradually, you began to take more notice of everything he did, began in a way acknowledging more his presence. It was funny how you anticipated for his little quirks, such as when his lips pulled towards the left when he tried hard not to laugh or how he had the tendency to fidget with his shirt when he was nervous. Taking in all aspect of him was in a way exhilarating for you, and it amazed you how much you had come to know him.

 

Things started changing when you noticed your own behavior evolve. Your heart would race when his face would be close, or when his hand would accidentally brush against your own. You started to become nervous and fidgety when he was around. Just picking out your clothes would change. Would he like this top if I wore it with this? What about these earrings? You didn’t mean to impress him or anything, but you didn’t know why you did at the same time. You began to daydream, and wonder, how would it feel to hold his hand? His chest was pretty broad, how would it feel to lean against it? Or run your hand through his silky hair? Every time he bit his lips, you would think of how his lips felt against yours. These thoughts would come to you whenever he was near (practically 24/7 since he was always around you), but you couldn’t help it you just did.

 

And now here you were, halfway through your third year in college, sitting in both of your favorite confectionary shop, as he awaited your response. He pulled his shirt down, all the while biting his lip. You took a deep breath and answered him.

 

“Yes! Of course!” You threw your arms around his neck and he grinned largely as he pulled you in for a tighter embrace.

 

Life with him had just become better.

 

You both decided to move in together months later, choosing an apartment at even distances from both your schools. It was decent, and it was affordable for both of you to handle. Waking up in the mornings had become joyful, feeling warm in his embrace and gazing at his peaceful face when he was in deep slumber. You could lose yourself in his features, mentally outlining every crook and curve you could see. The particular mole underneath his left eye would always catch your attention, and for some reason Daehyun would always wake up when you stared at it, immediately making eye contact with you, and smile saying how cute you were. You marveled at the way he would surprise you with breakfast in bed every now and then and it amazed you how he was always so considerate towards you. You guessed, this was how love felt.

 

Eventually you both graduated, feeling even more independent towards the world. You were scared, but knowing he was there brought you comfort, and you knew that no matter what, he would always stay beside you.

 

You began your career as a primary teacher since you had always loved children, while he already had an executive position waiting for him in his Uncle’s company, since he owned various companies and organizations, one branch included the most luxurious private academy in the country. You were fortunate that his Uncle helped you land a job there, and couldn’t be any more grateful.

 

With much more income flowing in for both of you, you both quickly located to a larger complex, having a rather great view of the city. You felt your life begin on a whole other level, and couldn’t feel anymore blessed than to have such a perfect man in your life.

 

Obviously, his career taking off, and your busy hours at the school, brought less time for the both of you. You began to see each other less and less as the year went by, or rather he wasn’t at home as much. You would arrive home around the evening, and he wouldn’t come until the pit of night. It began to worry you, mostly for his health, seeing as how he would sometimes leave the house earlier than you, but in a selfish way, you started to miss him. Most nights you would feel him arrive around 3 or 4 in the morning, at midnight if lucky. You would tell him that he needed to maybe have at least one day off, and if not to take a week off, but he would just smile and kiss your forehead and say that he was fine. He knew you worried and would call you in between his breaks, letting you know he was fine. Every Friday he would send flowers, with a handwritten note from him. Sometimes you would even show up at his workplace, and spend about half an hour with him. It was the most you both could squeeze in.

 

This worked for a while, but then he received a promotion. You were happy for him, thrilled even, noticing the sparkle in his eyes when he told you about it. He would have the same routine, but his calls became less frequent, and he would sometimes just send a quick message. The flowers he would send, came with a card that he just signed. The times you would surprise him with lunch began to be rejected, his secretary telling you he was busy with an important client or having some sort of other business. She would sympathetically smile at you as you would just leave the lunch you made him there. Of course! He’s at a higher rank now, so he would be a lot busier, right? Yeah, this was why you couldn’t see him, but it’s not his fault. For now you just had to learn to accept this…it wasn’t his fault.

 

As months progressed he stopped calling, and would just send quick messages here and there. He still arrived late, but instead of always embracing you the moment he did, he would face the other way. You would stare at his back, a stinging sensation coming to your eyes. He must be tired, right? You smiled. Yeah that has to be it.

 

His text messages stopped, and he would reply every now and then only if you initiated the contact. The flowers kept coming, but you noticed the change in his handwriting. It wasn’t his. It was similar, almost a perfect copy, but you knew his too well to know it wasn’t written by him. You would arrive home to the containers you had sent him still filled with food, practically untouched. He left a note saying to not send him food anymore, since he was eating out with clients most days now. You respected his decision, but it was painful. It was like there was no connection at all. It’s okay… It’s not his fault. One night though, you couldn’t help but wake him up.

 

“Daehyun?”

 

He grunted, he turned his head, but through the dim light, you noticed his eyes still closed.

 

You swallowed and scooted a bit closer to him. “C-can I hug you?” When had it been this hard to talk to him? Since when would you even need to ask for skinship?

 

He turned his head to the front, his back still facing you. “Mhm.”

 

It hurt. It really did. But nonetheless you gently wrapped your arms around his torso, taking in his scent and warmth from his back. When was the last time you had been this close to him? You expected some sort of reaction from him. Turn around. You internally begged and pleaded, at the very least placing his hand over yours, but nothing.

 

It’s hard to believe how this had all happened, but it’s just because of work. It’ll get better. Patience is key.

 

One day that same week, one of your kindergartners brought you a flower during their recess break. You took it smiling at the little boy.

 

“Thank you.” You smelled it and smiled at him. “Why are you giving it to me?”

 

You expected some kind of typical response most students would tell you when they gave you something, like “You’re the best teacher in the world!”, but he didn’t.

 

“So you can smile again.” He cheerfully replied.

 

You froze, as he scampered off to play with his classmates. What? A five-year old even noticed? You tried so hard to hide it, plastering a smile in front of your students, but it wasn’t enough. Had it really gotten this bad?

 

He stopped coming home. Some nights, he would arrive, but it wasn’t the same. There was an empty space next to you, a hollowed out piece of air that just made the world engulf you. He must have a lot of work right? He must be working on a large deal right? You would hug his pillow, taking in the faint smell he had imprinted. You would wake up, rubbing your eyes, feeling them too wet to be just morning drowsiness. You must have cried. It’s okay though that’s normal right? Missing the one you love is normal right? You looked at your alarm clock and saw it was 11am. At first you got startled, thinking you were late, but then remembered it was Saturday. You eased back in bed and stared at the ceiling. All of a sudden your doorbell rang. You yelled a “Coming!” and sprang out of bed. You rushed to the bathroom and quickly brushed your teeth and washed your face. You opened the door and to your surprise you saw Daehyun’s secretary there.

 

“Ga Yun-sshi? What brings you here?”

 

She smiled at you. “Can I come in?”

 

You nodded and stepped aside, as she walked in.

 

“Do you want something to drink?” You offered.

 

“No, it’s fine. Thank you.”

 

You nodded and gestured to the living room. “Please, make yourself at home.”

 

She nodded and sat down on the couch as you followed suit. You gave her your attention. Anxiety running through you wondering why Daehyun’s secretary was here. Was he alright? Did something happen?

 

“______...” she looked at you, furrowing her eyebrows.

 

Your heart raced. The tone inflicted in her voice practically confirmed that something was wrong,

 

 

She continued. “There’s something you should know about Daehyun- sajangnim.” She bit her lower lip. “He, well, here.” She handed you a small envelope.

 

You took it and glanced back at her. You quickly opened it and pulled out what seemed to be photographs. You gasped. Your eyes were wide with shock. This couldn’t be right? It’s a prank- a joke? Were you still sleeping? You went through the thick packet of pictures, not even finishing before looking up at Ga Yun.

 

“What is this?” Hot streams of tears fell from your eyes.

 

She looked down. “It’s been like that for months… H-he’s been seeing other women.”

 

You shattered. You placed a hand over your mouth and dropped the several pictures to the ground as you fell to your knees. Ga Yun quickly placed a hand on your shoulder, hurrying to your side.

 

“I’m sorry. I-I should’ve told you earlier, but I thought that maybe he would change.”

 

You gaped back at her, ugly sobs escaping from within your core. Daehyun why? Why was this happening? It’s a nightmare right? You had no words. Ga Yun stayed with you for about 20 minutes.

 

“I’m sorry, I have to go back to work…” she stood up and walked towards the door. She took one last look at you. “I’m sorry.” And shut the door.

 

You stayed there, recovered from the initial shock, and now thinking more clearly. What if this was a lie though? Some kind of scam to get you to leave? You began to doubt these pictures. But then, what would Ga Yun win out of this? Nothing. Well, unless she targeted Daehyun and wanted you out of the picture. You wanted to be sure.

 

You disguised yourself as a different person, and entered the building with a replica of the staff I.D. you had when Daehyun had given it to you long ago. The only thing you changed was your picture to match your disguise. You made your strides through the building conspicuously, making sure to avoid anyone that could recognize you. Once making sure the coast was clear you headed towards his office. You had checked to see Ga Yun’s schedule beforehand from Daehyun’s computer at home, and found that Ga Yun had just left for lunch. You made your way to his office, adrenaline rushing through your body, and hope still within your heart. You placed your hand on the handle, and turned it slowly, leaving a slit open enough to peek through. You swallowed. Suddenly you felt your heart drop. There on Daehyun’s lap was a well-figured woman, who had her arms wrapped around his neck, as one hand rested on her back and the other on her exposed leg. He smiled at her warmly as she cutely asked him to buy her something. He …the way he used to with you only…dirtier. A knot welled up in your throat, but you maintained your place. You pulled out your phone and dialed his number. As the ringing floated in your ear, tears started welling up in your eyes. Pick up…Please. His ringtone resonated from him. The woman pouted, disappointed they were being disturbed. You watched as Daehyun pulled out his phone, seeing his lips press into a straight line as he looked at the screen. A stray tear fell from your eyes.

 

“Oppa who is it?”

 

He put his phone away, and smiled back at her. “No one important.”

 

You closed the door without making any noise, and hung up just as you were directed to voicemail. Turning back you noticed Ga Yun walking in. You quickly placed your index finger firmly on your quivering lips. She nodded, and you walked towards her.

 

“I just had to see…” You softly told her, your tears now flowing freely.

 

She looked at you so sympathetically, that it hurt you even more.

 

“Thank you, Ga Yun.” You smiled at her, and left.

 

You packed everything you could in one suitcase. You took your time knowing he wouldn’t come home anytime soon. It wasn’t work. You had built this false illusion of completely trusting him. You should have known. Why? Why were you so blinded by this love? It’s his fault. You zipped up your suitcase and left it by the door. You cried for hours, and they were the worst hours of your life. It was like being ripped open, no, actually even worse than that. You let him fool you. It’s his fault. Where had the Daehyun you fell in love with gone to? The one that wouldn’t leave your side all throughout high school? The one that had stayed on the phone with you through a storm since he knew how much they terrified you, even if he didn’t sleep? The one who would always say he felt empty when you weren’t in his arms, when you started going out? Now he had some other woman occupying them. The one who directed his smile only at you? It’s his fault… No, it’s not his fault… It’s yours.

 

You looked out the window noticing the sun was setting. Being composed, you called his number one last time. This time it didn’t even ring and were sent straight to voicemail. You left your message and stood up as soon as you were done, taking hold of the suitcase as you left-left him.

 

~             ~             ~

 

Daehyun untangled himself from the sleeping woman. He stood up and put his clothes on, leaving the hotel, and towards the parking lot. He checked his phone, seeing a few text messages from his other ‘adventurers’ and a few other notifications. He saw a few missed calls. Several from different girls, 2 from his current client he had almost closed a deal with, and one from you. He unlocked his car, and placed his ear piece in as he heard the voicemails left. He the ignition, and heard as a “Su Bin” purred about their plans tomorrow. He chuckled, pulling out of the parking lot. The next one was from the client, talking about a change in thought and how he wished to settle the final agreements tomorrow. Daehyun smiled, everything was seeming to run smoothly. The next message was from you. He was getting ready for another “I miss you” or “please take care of yourself” message. He had to admit they were refreshing to hear. Somehow they filled up a part of him that was never satisfied without him knowing, believing that it was due to the success he has had in all aspects.

 

“Daehyun? Hi, sorry for bothering you, but I just wanted to make sure you were well. Are you eating? And getting enough sleep?”

 

He smiled at your usual greeting.

 

“I hope so… Oh! Thanks for the orchids! They’re very beautiful, and I placed them right next to your nightstand. I hope you don’t mind, it’s just that they remind me of you when you’re not here.”

 

He let out a satisfied huff of air at her sincerity. He placed his finger to the ear piece, getting ready to hear your “I miss you” and “goodbye”. But instead he heard laughter.

 

“I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore.” Your tone completely changing from sweetness to amusement. “Daehyun, I’m going to stop with this charade.”

 

He brought his hand down, furrowing his eyebrows as he heard your voice change to utter abhor.

 

You sighed in almost a mocking manner. “Daehyun, Daehyun, Daehyun… Did you think I wouldn’t find out that you were seeing other women?”

 

His heart thudded painfully against his chest. ‘She knew?!’ He thought.

 

“It’s alright don’t worry about it. I’m not mad. On the contrary, I’m absolutely relieved! So many years living with such a huge lie, pretending.”

 

He quickly parked his car outside of a fast-food restaurant, a few stray cars lingering around, anxiously waiting for you to continue.

 

“I bet you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about right? Ah~ I wish I could see the stupid look on your face, probably wincing right now as that hideous mole jerks up, right?”

 

He reacted as you predicted.

 

“Well, let me tell you, since that’s the least I could do. Remember when we met? Through my older brother the last year of middle school? Well, it all started there. My parents knew you came from a rich background and sought a way to take advantage of you. They first thought that having my brother as your friend would be enough, but no, we needed something stronger since he was a year older and you would probably find kids our age. That’s where I came in. I became a part of your life, better yet, we became part of each other’s lives. I gained your trust and made sure to become your best friend, ultimately leading you to fall in love with me. Gosh… that was probably the worst part of the plan. Pretending to love you.”

 

He felt his heart drop, eyes wide with shock.

 

“Sure, giving up my teenage years was bad, but now I actually had to like you? I had to actually be touched by the likes of someone like you? A spoilt rich boy that knew nothing of suffering or sacrifice? I HATED it. It was disgusting. I’m definitely going to disinfect my body soon.”

 

There was a pause, and some shuffling noise blurred out.

 

“Anyways, you know how your uncle hired my parents, brother and I, giving us a high wage? Well, that was the whole point of this. Now the only problem was getting out from your grasp, but it would be too risky to suddenly call it off so suddenly. So I endured time, such boring time you gave me by the way, well, at least in the beginning. You started disappearing more and more, until we barely spoke, and it was like I could breathe during that time, finally not having your filthy presence around me.”

 

Another pause, and more blurred out noises were in the background.

 

“But of course I had to keep the sweet girlfriend image to make it seemed like I at least cared. But, once I found out you were with others, I finally made my move to leave… Don’t worry you didn’t care anyways, so just forget about me, like I will about you. ‘Daehyun who?’ yup easy. It’s really easy to forget someone you hate by the way. I’m sure you hate me by now, so I made things easier for you… your welcome. I hope to never have to see your face ever again…have a good life Jung Daehyun…”

 

Daehyun was gaping at the air. His body shook in complete distress. He was beyond shocked, he was numb. What was all this about? What had he just heard? What?! There’s no words to describe what he’s going through right now. He gripped the steering wheel. No, it had to be a lie. It’s all lies right? She just made it up. There’s no way the girl he had known for 10 years was doing this. He knew her all too well. Too well, unlike anyone else. It’s all lies.

 

After getting some sort of mental state back, he floored it out of there. He remembered you had said you were leaving. As he sped across the freeway, he viciously dialed your number, yearning to hear your voice, to hear that contented giggle you would give him when you would answer and say his name.

 

“The number you dialed is no longer available.”

 

He hit his arm rest, and sped his way through traffic. There was no way this was happening to him, no way that he would let this happen. He arrived home, stumbling out of his car once he made it through the gated parking lot, not bothering to close the door and lock it… all that matter was to find you- to stop you from leaving him. The other residents stared at his disarray, as he pressed furiously at the elevator button. It was taking too long. He ran up the staircase, chanting your name in his head, hoping somehow it would reach you. He ran as fast his legs could take him, and even that was not fast enough for him. He finally made it to the door and hurriedly unlocked it with jittering hands. He slammed the door open running in to find you. He saw no one in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom…each door he opened giving him false hope. The laundry room, the deck, and lastly the bedroom. Nothing. It was impeccably neat. He opened the closet door, wishing you were hiding behind there and saying it was a joke, it was a way for him to come home after having neglected you for so long. Empty. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, hot tears flowing from his eyes as his legs gave out and he let out a scream. He pounded the floor, images of your smiling face and little habits rushing through his mind. You really had left. You really had. But not for the reason he heard on his voicemail. He knew what you both had had been real love. Real emotion. But he screwed up. Screwed up, not realizing how infinite your love was, taking advantage of it, and disgustingly stepping all over your heart. He looked up, seeing the half emptiness of the closet… just his clothes hanging and folded neatly… almost as if no one else had ever been there. Turning to the right, he saw those disgraceful orchids sitting on his nightstand. He fisted his hands again, through the blurriness of his vision he saw his knuckles turn white, and right next to his hand, there was a hairband. He took hold of the simple black elastic band, running through his fingers what was the only piece of you… what you had left behind…

 

~             2 years later        ~

 

You took in a fresh gulp of air, feeling the salty musk enter your body. It had been two years now. Two years since you left him. That night, after leaving that voice message, you went to a decent hotel, and cried. The worst cry you had ever experienced in your life. Ugly sobs had filled the room, as you had barely made it past the door. You loved him too much. In fact, so much, that you sincerely wanted him to forget you, to make it seem like you were the bad guy here… that’s why you had left such a farewell to him. Throughout the whole message, you had to stop several moments to compose yourself or else the shakiness of your voice would have given it away, and he would know. You didn’t want that. You wanted him to live his life, and feel guilt free, even if that meant he’d end up hating you. Soon after you had cancelled your phone and got an unlisted phone number, cutting off all ties with everyone. Including your family. You knew that if he looked for you, he’d reach them first, and you couldn’t afford that. You had moved to Costa Rica, a place you would never think he’d find you in… a place you could start anew. You were sitting against the warm white sand under a large umbrella. You taught English here and even though the pay wasn’t well, you lived comfortably. Your phone went off and you looked at the screen, seeing that your brother had texted you. You contacted him a year later, explaining everything to him. He of course wanted find him, rage boiling through the phone for having hurt you, but you begged him to not do it otherwise Daehyun would be able to find you. After much persuading, your brother agreed. You also told him to not tell your parents, not yet… it wasn’t time. He was reluctant on that one, explaining to you how stressed out they were of not knowing where you were. You knew you were causing them harm, but not knowing was the safest route for now. Hesitatingly, he agreed but made you promise to tell them soon or else he would. For now all he could be glad about was knowing that you were safe.

 

He told you he sent the monthly package. You smiled at your brother’s consideration. You told him there was no need to send you anything, but he insisted. You replied and went back to your book, leaving off on the protagonist about to uncover a clue behind her heritage. Nearing the sunset, you packed up and started for home. You greeted a few neighbors around as they friendly welcomed you back.

 

Maria, your landowner had told you, you had a guest waiting for you and she sent him outside your apartment. You asked her what his name was and she said it was YoungYoon. You grinned widely, surprised at your brother’s unexpected visit. You thanked her and rushed joyfully, to your humble place.

 

“Op-” You stopped in your tracks. Daehyun. His back faced you at first but he slowly turned at your unfinished word. You just stared at him, a surge of memories flooding back. He tentatively took a step towards you, his gaze soft. Returning from your initial shock you composed your body and straightened up. Remember you hate him, and you did him wrong. He’s the protagonist in this twisted and ridiculed play, and as such you must carry out your role as the antagonist.

 

You remained serious, and walked past him. He grabbed your wrist.

 

“______...”

 

It had been so long since you had last heard him say your name and the way he expressed it didn’t help. You cleared your throat. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see your repulsive face again?” You maintained a steady tone, cold and distant. For now… you knew at any moment he would break your facade, if he said the right words. You turned to look him straight in the eyes, hopefully convincing him.

 

He winced. He opened his mouth to speak but noticed the crowd of people overlooking your encounter. He let go of you. “_______...can we go in?”

 

You sighed but opened the door nonetheless. You walked in placing your book on the counter and walked to the kitchen, ready to make dinner. He let himself in, following you closely behind.

 

You rinsed lettuce. “Leave.” You suddenly spoke without turning around.

 

He gingerly placed a hand on your shoulder. “______, what you said back then-”

 

You swatted his hand away. “I meant it...” No you didn’t. “Now I have to burn this shirt. It was one of my favorites too.”

 

He pulled his hand back. You glanced from the corner of your eye. It broke your heart seeing him suffer, the way his eyes looked at you with hurt, sorrow, and longing. Not good. You wanted him to hate you, to forget you, but at the same time, you wanted to hug him, to say it was all fake, say it wasn’t real. That you missed him, that every day after that night, you were living in torment, emptiness filling you up to the brim. You glanced at his figure, remembering how warm his chest felt, the slightly calloused touch of his hands on your skin. Those sweet kisses that contained such tender and sweetness, and past them the voice you had come all too familiar with…the one he would make promises and dreams with. You focused on the lettuce in front of you, not exactly knowing what you were doing but just using it as a distraction.

 

You placed it aside. It’ll be too obvious if you just continued to emptily rinse it there. Your house phone rang, you dried your hands and went to the living room. You reached out towards the phone, but before you could, his hand wrapped around yours, the other embracing your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your heart began to beat faster and you urged your body to try and calm down, in fear he might hear it from such close proximity. You felt his breath against the crook of your neck, his warmth emanating from within your core. You would have melted, if that was possible. The raspy breath from him was heard closely against your ear, his lips ghosting your skin near it.

 

“_______...”

 

You swallowed down the forming knot in your throat, a sharp pain stinging through your chest. You tried to speak, but any attempt at trying to make a sound would just come out hoarse.

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

The phone ceased it’s ringing.

 

He continued. “I realize that what I did to you was wrong of me. I- I never fully appreciated you… I don’t know what happened to me. Power? Fortune? Probably. I’m sorry.”

 

Your eyes began to well up, and you desperately looked up to try and contain them as far back and as long as possible.

 

“I’m sorry…Those lonely nights, heck… how could I not have realized that one night when you asked me to embrace you? I was such a ing idiot… you deserved a lot more from me.” He slowly shook his head. “So much more than me. How could I have let you go? How had it come this extreme, where I inflicted so much pain that you couldn’t handle it anymore?”

 

Finding your voice you interrupted him. “I’m not hurt…” your voice was soft, but slowly gaining strength. “I forgot about you… and I always had the idea to leave you someday either way.”

 

His embrace tightened on you. “Lies. You’re lying!”

 

“It’s true Daehyun.” You took a deep breath. “I never loved you.”

 

He turned you around, and bore into your face. “You’re lying!...We love each other.”

 

You had to stay strong. You couldn’t let him get to you, but it was becoming more difficult as he gave you his vulnerability.

 

“Ha! Love? Don’t make me laugh.” You let out a failed chuckle.

 

“Then why are you crying? Huh? Why?!” He slightly shook you, not in a harming way but just enough to make his point.

 

You hadn’t noticed yourself crying, until he pointed it out. “Because I hate you so much…”

 

The next thing you knew his lips were on you, kissing you fervently. You tightened your lips refusing to reply, refusing to accept him. His large hand had moved up the nape of your neck, coaxing you to respond. You stood your ground, fresher tears flowing harder than before, falling and mixing with his lips. He suddenly pulled back and looked at you, panting, as his hands were on either shoulder.

 

“Tell me. Tell me.” He spoke between breaths. “Tell me you hated it so much, that you felt nothing.”

 

You looked down. “I felt nothing.”

 

He brought his hands up and cupped your cheeks, holding you in place and leaning in closer. “Look me straight in the eye and tell me it was nothing.” He croaked.

 

You averted your gaze.

 

He scooped down for another kiss, being much more anxious and desperate. But again you refused to show any sort of reaction.

 

He pulled back again, and held your cheeks again. “_______, please, just stop joking around, I know it isn’t true, I know that you love me. W-why?” His lips trembled. “Why do you keep torturing yourself? Why do you keep denying me- our love? Us?”

 

You stayed quiet.

 

He didn’t let his gaze falter. He your cheek with his thumb, and his voiced softened to just above a whisper. “Did I hurt you that much? Did I push you that much?”

 

“You never cared.”

 

He took in a rush of air and shook his head. “Then why am I here? Why was I like such a pathetic man that dragged myself through every day? Why was I such a mess and still am? If I didn’t care, why would I feel dead inside, missing you, and reminiscing all of our memories together? Look at me, can’t you see me crying ________? Is this not enough to ask you back? To never leave me?”

 

You bit your lip, you were at your limit. The sincerity he spoke with as well as the emotion he gave you was more than enough, but for some reason, you didn’t want to burden him.

 

But you loved him.

 

You loved him so much it hurt to even breathe. There was and never will be anyone else other than him. He occupied your heart so much, that you knew of no one else to even squeeze themselves in there. Everyone deserved second chances right? He is human after all.

 

But then, there’s the part that he cheated on you.

 

If he really loved you as he said, would he have ever shown interest in someone else?

 

“Why?” you spoke, not knowing if he ever heard you.

 

“Why what?” His eyes searching yours.

 

You looked him straight in the eye. “Why were you with other women?”

 

He looked taken aback, but nonetheless replied. He looked down. “It had started off with many daughters of other men showing interest. At first I rejected their advances, but found that we were losing deals that way… My uncle said that the easier way would be to just play along.” He his lips. “I didn’t want to, but my uncle was being threatened and so was I. I- I know this seems like no excuse, but I just didn’t know what to do… So I did as my uncle said, and because of that I saw you less and less. I couldn’t bear to see you without having such guilt consume me.” He bit his lower lip. “It wasn’t until you left, that I realized what the heck I was doing with my life.” He your cheeks with such care and tenderness that you felt yourself lean against them. “You are worth much more than anything else in my life.”

 

You placed a hand over his. “Then how do I know you won’t do it again? How can I trust you?”

 

He flinched at the word ‘’trust’. “I quit.”

 

Your eyes widened. “But, your dream-”

 

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He gave you a softened smile. “My dream is to be with you.”

 

Should you give in? He explained his reasons. He was lost confused, and he knew he was wrong. He wasn’t distant because he didn’t love you, but because he knew he was doing so wrong.

 

You wrapped your arms around him, a bubble refreshingly bursting within you as he pulled you tighter to him. You both stayed like that for a while until you spoke up.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You mumbled in his chest.

 

“Why should you be sorry?” He your hair. “You did nothing wrong?”

 

You glanced up at him. “I said horrible things to you too.”

 

He chuckled and gave you a tight squeeze, lifting your mood up a bit. “I knew you didn’t mean it.” He wiped away a few tears from your cheeks. He stared what seemed an eternity into your eyes, looking at you as if you were the most valued treasure in the world. After a while you looked down shyly, feeling your cheeks flare from his intensity.

 

He sighed. “You’re the same as always.” You felt him kiss the top of your head.

 

~             The Next Day      ~

 

You awoke to the same shine you had for the past two years, groggily blinking away the blurriness of the world. Only this time it was different. You felt arms wrapped tightly around you as you felt short steady breaths fall lightly on your cheeks. You smiled. Admiring every feature of his face. You frowned slightly noticing how sunken in his face had become, as well as how tired and just dead he seemed. You his every feature with your eyes, still admiring his beauty, admiring how handsome he still was. Last but not least, you glanced at that little mole you always dreamed of waking up to every morning. He still seemed to know, almost as if he was never gone. His eyes fluttered open, looking straight at you, as he smiled drowsily to you. You both didn’t say anything, as he traced his eyes over you as well, bringing a hand up to your cheeks, in a way checking if you were really there. You turned your head and placed a gentle kiss against his palm. He slightly chuckled, acknowledging your cuteness. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours, then capturing your lips, you knew were forever yours.