Officially Loving You
Exoplosion: Reviews and Beta Reading [HIRING]Story: Officially Loving You
Author: Seunghyun
Status: Completed
Characters: Xiumin, Chanyeol and OC
Rated? No
Summary: - I don't know when it started
But, our eyes say it all.
Before you go,
I need you to clarify this thing...
Do you love me...too?
Title
Your title reminds me of a cliche love story, but not cliche to the point that I won't try it out. I think the title is something that would be a door that leads to a really cute story, and I was actually expecting someone in the story to say the line "I'm officially love you" or something. What I'm trying to say is that I thought the fanfiction itself would match the story better. After I finished reading, I was a bit confused as to why you picked that title for the story.
Foreword/ Description
Your description sounded really cliche, but not as cliche as the forword (plot) I don't know what there is left to be said in this area, since you'd have to change the entire story if I asked you to change your description. The description doesn't even relate to your story. The anxiety and intensity your displayed in the description was thrown away as soon as the actual story began. The description is a good way to introduce the content your story, but you didn't do a superb job on that. Just capture their interest with your words. When I got to the forword, all of the tiny bit of interest I had died. It just sounded so cliche that I didn't want to find out what would happen next.
Characterization
I can't say that your characterization was portrayed very clearly. I didn't really get to know anything about any of your characters, except the fact that two of them liked Kai Li. You never showed what Xiumin and Chanyeol's personalities were like. Or let us know more about their feelings other then, "oh, they feel jealous when their friend hangs out with the girl that isn't even theirs." I know it's only a short
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