Half A Heart

And being here without you
Is like I'm waking up to
Only half a blue sky
Kinda there - but not quite

 

One blink. Two blinks. Three blinks. Chanyeol’s eyes fluttered open. He got up from his bed and stretched. He then reached for his android by his bedside and unlocked the phone screen. He smiled when his wallpaper flitted onto the screen. It was a picture of Baekhyun sound asleep, hugging the Scooby Doo plushy he had given the older boy on his twenty-first birthday.  

It’s been a week since Chanyeol last visited him so he decided to do so today. He stripped and threw his sweatshirt into the laundry bag and jogged into the shower. He scrubbed every nook and cranny of his body, determined to be as spotless as possible. After scrubbing himself till his skin got red, he stepped out of the shower with a bathrobe wrapped round his tall figure.

He scurried towards his closet, almost slipping in the process, and opened the top most compartment. Inside, was a navy blue jacket, a pair of leather pants and a worn out snap back. These were all the things Baekhyun would always compliment Chanyeol for when he wore it. He could see why Baekhyun liked the jacket and pants on him, but he never could understand what he saw in the worn out, “Wolf 88” snapback he had found in his parents’ attic. But nevertheless, he’d still wear it for Baekhyun. He would even walk down the busy streets of Gangnam dressed as a giant panda -if it’d meant making Baekhyun smile.

He threw on his jacket and wiggled into his pants. He pulled open his drawer to reveal accessories of all shapes and sizes. Despite all the shiny and beguiling bracelets scattered around, he settled for a plain brown drawstring bracelet. He remembered that this was the bracelet Baekhyun had given him during their trip to Lotte World - and how he thought it was the ugliest bracelet he ever set his sight on. But how Baekhyun had shyly tapped on his shoulders then, and placed the bracelet in his palms; he could never find the strength to reject his heartfelt gift.

Chanyeol puts on the bracelet and sprayed on some cologne. He then goes to his study room and searched for a book. He would always read a story to Baekhyun whenever he visited him. After an internal struggle, he finally settled on a neat, little storybook. He then walked out of his door and closed it behind him. He plopped the snapback over his head and made his way to see Baekhyun.

I'm half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do
I'm half a heart without you

There’s a spring in his footsteps as he strolled down the streets of Seoul. The weather was beautiful. The sun hung overhead shining brightly, but the chilly autumn winds made sweating impossible. It was the type of weather that always appeared in a pleasant dream. Children were playing in the playground nearby; their genuine laughter brought a smile to his face. He turned his attention to his right and caught sight of a shop adorned with beautiful flowers. He made a detour and walked into the shop.

Momentarily mesmerised by the sudden burst of colours, Chanyeol just stared, till an employee came up to him.

“May I help you sir?”

Chanyeol snapped out of his trance and bended his head down to see a young girl dressed in a pink apron looking back up at him.

“I erm… I…”

“Thinking of getting flowers for your lover?”

“Y-yeah! My lover,” Chanyeol grinned, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Ahh I see. What kind of flowers would you like to get? Roses? Sunflowers?”

“No… These two seem so… ordinary, I’d like to give him something not as popular.”

“Hmm…. well…” the girl placed a finger to her cheek, deep in thought.

She then lit up and snapped her finger.

“What about a daisy?”

“A Daisy? Why a Daisy?” Chanyeol lifted his brows in curiosity.

“Well, a Daisy signifies innocence, purity and cheerfulness and not a lot of people give Daisies to their significant other so I think it’d fit you!”

“Innocence, purity, cheerfulness… Perfect! I’ll take a dozen!”

“I’ll get right to it sir!”

He gazed at the other flowers in the shop and oogled at some that he never knew existed. The girl then came back with a large bouquet in her hands and placed it into Chanyeol’s waiting arms. He took a whiff from it and immediately brightenen up, and placed the bills in the girl’s palms after thanking her.

Forget all we said that night
No, it doesn't even matter
'Cause we both got split in two

 

He continued his journey to Baekhyun’s, spirits even higher. He thought of the fight they had a few years ago. Though it was over stupid reasons, it was one of the biggest fights they ever had. The weeks after were emotional hell, every time they met, a fight was sure to ensue. Chanyeol knew all he needed to do was apologize but his pride held him back. Till one day, it got so bad that Baekhyun finally broke. That was the first time he ever saw Baekhyun cry and from then on he vowed that that would be the last time he’d ever shed a tear.  Even till today, the memory of him walking into Baekhyun’s apartment to find him soaked in tears and shaking uncontrollably, still haunted Chanyeol on certain nights.

The green man on the traffic light flashed rapidly, snapping Chanyeol out of his train of thoughts. He raced to the other side of the road like a madman and panted when he finally reached the pavement.

He realised he was right beside the Han River Park. The sunlight reflecting on the water’s shimmery surface was a beautiful sight. He could also faintly see the outline of colours of a rainbow. He fished out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of it, planning to share the stunning spectacle with Baekhyun later.

He trudged on a little further before the mouth-watering aroma of pastries wafted through his nose. He followed the smell and traced it back to a small little shop called Cottage Pies and realised this was where he and Baekhyun had their first date at.

If you could spare an hour or so
We'll go for lunch down by the river
We could really talk it through

He pushed open the door and the bells tied to the entrance jingled, announcing his arrival. He gingerly stepped into the restaurant; taking in all the changes. He looked at the variety of pastries behind the glass casing and placed both hand on it. His eyes came to rest on a creamy cake and pointed for the staff to pack a serving of it for him. He then left with a little blue box in hand. He had bought a blueberry cheesecake –Baekhyun’s favourite.

With both the flowers and cake in hand, Chanyeol could then visit Baekhyun without feeling empty-handed. He chuckled at the thought of how Baekhyun would react when he sees the cheesecake; he would probably jump up and down in excitement.

Chanyeol took a deep breath before continuing to make his way.  He reached a bus stop and sat on a bench. A chubby, white tabby cat waddled and curled up beside Chanyeol’s legs. This took him by surprise as he jumped up in shock. The cat meowed in discontent when Chanyeol pulled his legs back, its eyes met Chanyeol’s as if it were pleading him. He eventually lost the game, and gave in as he settled the chubby kitty on his lap. He the behind of its ears, and it meowed in satisfaction.

“Dambi!”

Chanyeol’s head perked up and saw a young man who strangely looked so childlike despite his deep voice. He then scooped up the cat from his arms.

“I’m so sorry sir! I hope our Dambi hasn’t troubled you. This fat cat can sure run fast when he’s escaping from me,” the man said as he pinched Dambi’s nose, the cat gave a look that seemed like a scowl.

“Ah it’s alright, no harm done,” Chanyeol waved it off.

“Luhan! Have you found Dambi yet?” he heard a call and looked at the other stranger’s direction. It was a man who looked equally young as Luhan, with chubby cheeks.

“I’ve found him already, Minseok!” Luhan shouted behind and then turned to face him again, “I’ll get going then. Thanks for looking after Dambi!”

“No problem,” Chanyeol grinned.

Luhan flashed a smile and ran to join Minseok, with their cat in hand. As if on cue, the bus arrived shortly after. The people on the bus all stared at Chanyeol when he got on board, wondering why he was holding such a big bouquet of flowers. Chanyeol just ignored them and went to take a seat at the back of the bus. Once he settled down, he took out his earpiece and plugged it into his ears. He played all his favourite tracks, humming to a melody quietly.

Though I try to get you out of my head
The truth is I got lost without you

The people on the bus got off bit by bit, when Chanyeol finally reached his destination, he was the only one left in the bus. He stepped off the bus and looked around. It was a weekday, but there was still quite a fair amount of people present. He trudged to Baekhyun’s spot and sat down all his things.

“Baekhyunnie, I’ve come to see you,” he smiled, “Sorry for taking so long… you must’ve been lonely, huh?”

“I’ve brought you some flowers!” he placed the flowers in front of Baekhyun, “These are Daisies, the lady said they represented innocence, purity, cheerfulness. They reminded me exactly of you!”

“Oh! And I got blueberry cheesecake!” he opened the box and took out the cake, “Looks good, doesn’t it?”

He then showed the picture of the rainbow he took before, saying how they used to go to the Han River just to see a rainbow but never did get to see one, and how it was a pity Baekhyun wasn't there to admire it with him. He reminicised about their awkward first dates, and all the crazy things they did together. All the things they've said. All the things they did. All the promises they made.

“You can eat that while I read you  a story alright?” Chanyeol pointed to the cheesecake.

He took out his book and started reading. The sunlight was receding and twilight was knocking on the sky's door, by the time Chanyeol was done with his book.

“Till the end? She asked. Till the very end, he smiled,"  he shut his book.

“I’ll end it off here for today, I’ll continue on my next visit.”

Chanyeol packed up his belongings and prepared to leave. But not before he waved Baekhyun goodbye.

“Bye Baekhyun," he grinned.

He spared one last glance at his lover’s headstone and walked out of the cemetery. Hands in his pocket, smiling to himself.

And since then I've been waking up to
Only half a blue sky
Kinda there - but not quite
I'm walking around with just one shoe
I'm half a heart without you
I'm half a man at best
With half an arrow in my chest
I miss everything we do,
I'm half a heart without you

a/n: Hey~ So this is my second attempt at writing a oneshot and yes, it's Baekyeol again >< If you like this story comment if you don't like it also comment! Tell my why you don't like it and how I can improve, it will really help me! And as you can tell from the lyrics, this story was inspired by One Direction's song Half A Heart. Now, i don't usually listen to 1D but this song is absoultuely beautiful so I decided to give it a shot. Anyways, thanks for reading babes~