Sehun still waits.

He waits until oblivion dissipates, until you look back at him with the same emotions. Neither feigned, nor constricted.

----

“Sehun,” Luhan called across the room, voice post-crying and raspy. It was Luhan’s first words to his beloved brother for a year and counting. Their gazes didn’t cross, the gap between them seemingly growing farther. More distant even when Sehun had turned his back from his only brother: “Thank you.” It had to be real, Luhan thought.

Upon Sehun’s glassy orbs piercing Luhan, the older had already broken down. “I did it out of respect. I believe this should be our last meeting.” He spat out bitterly, unconcerned and resolute.

“It won’t make a difference to say that I’m just as selfish as you, Sehun.” The younger’s steps wrecked in heaviness upon hearing him. “Look, Sehun, I’m dying so don’t shut me out anymore.” Sehun let out a chuckle, digging the car keys in his pockets to distract himself. When he moved to open the door, out of the hell hole hospital, he stopped dead on his tracks.

“You were her first, Sehun, might as well just be her last.” It was sparse, his voice hoarse above anything else, and then it resounded scantly as it reached Sehun. His eyes turned glassy, at the moment, a gush of anger almost boiling up to his temperament. His fists, balled, almost greeted Luhan’s frail figure.

While you, the supposed mediator, had your hands grasping the knob – unmoving, deemed yourself useless. You wondered, when Luhan sputtered those – had he meant it to his heart’s ache, or to his repentance?

“Had you been not in this state, I could have sworn— you don’t just throw words around like that because she’s not something you acquire, use, and just give away!” His steps took him too long towards Luhan, yet too fast in a glimpse that the older’s almost cowering away.

“Sehun, calm down, listen to me—“ He goaded, remaining his calm all throughout as Sehun’s veins almost coarse through his whitened knuckles. But he didn’t listen, the reiteration of Sehun and yours yesterday’s love story a flash away to his realization. “I’m dying, Sehun. I’m not throwing her away, but I’m sure as hell I’m not leaving her mourning.”

“How? How am I supposed to live the rest of my life knowing she wouldn’t love me like she loved you, and only will she love me at the thought that I’m Luhan’s little brother— that I’m anything but the countenance of your remains?”

Your feet, somehow, by chance guided your steps into Luhan’s room; door hung ajar– your supposed husband – with you lying unnoticeable. Sehun, countenance of Luhan’s remains?

It must’ve looked like your heart had dropped to your abdomen and the bile spread thick in your bloodstream.

Periphery showed Luhan fidgeting, but he fought and battled through the younger’s eyes. It seemed like words wouldn’t be the genuine hopes Luhan wished Sehun to fathom, so with breathy and stifled sobs, he managed to call out to his brother who began to turn away.

“I’m