Following the aftermath of that day, as Jongdae was starting to call it, nobody in the shelter home really talked much, at least not publicly or in larger groups. The eldest cats kept to their room as they usually did, Kyungsoo kept to his computer, as he usually did. Baekhyun spent even more hours outdoors, and he had Tao with him; this was perhaps the most unusual. Before that day Tao had been a much more social creature, flitting about here and there, or leaving the house to visit Sehun. Now though he was Tao, Master Gardener-in-Training, he didn't leave home, and even Jongdae couldn't get him to open up.

“He's upset,” Baekhyun whispered to Jongdae several days later. Jongdae had finally had enough of the all around silent treatment and cornered the other to inquire about the boy he'd come to consider his kitten. “It's normal. You know how it is. There comes a time when sudden thoughts about mortality strike us. Midlife hybrid crisis, and all that.” Baekhyun tried to make light of it, tried to turn it into a joke, something casual and of no concern. But Jongdae was a hybrid too, and equally cursed with the ability to count and compare. He saw right through him, and he didn't even need to tell that to Baekhyun. 

The elder sighed, and Jongdae sighed right along with him.

“Is... does it have to do with Sehun?” Jongdae made a guess.

“Probably. Partly,” said Baekhyun. 

“Have they even talked since then?”

“A little.” 

“But you don't know what about?” Jongdae asked.

“I don't,” Baekhyun replied. “Although I have a hunch.”

He wouldn't tell him though, and Jongdae didn't pry. He knew he wouldn't be able to anyways. Baekhyun never had words for things like this, confrontations and feelings, or the kind of emotions that emanate from the heart. Baekhyun felt all those things too much, had felt them for years - or years ago, as Jongdae supposed - but Baekhyun's way of dealing with things was to clam up, put on a smile, and wander off. And so Jongdae let him go, no more the wiser about Tao. 

He missed his bubbly kitten, the one that would snuggle at night and tell him tidbits of his day, all the parts and details that Jongdae hadn't already observed. And if anyone knew to ask him directly, Jongdae might admit how he enjoyed living vicariously through all the stages of Tao's crush and blossoming romance with the human boy Sehun.

Now at least, some things made sense. Nobody talked about it, but Jongdae figured every one of the cats including Tao himself must have figured it out on their own. They'd all certainly come to the conclusion that Sehun has/was/had been keeping an emotional distance from them all, ever since the first time he met them. He'd done such a good job too until Tao came along. 

But nothing covered up the fact that hybrids die, and they die young. 

“You knew, didn't you?” Jongdae asked Minseok. It was afternoon and Luhan was completely out of it, sleeping on his back and snoring slightly. Jongdae was tired of the chilly atmosphere in the house. He'd barged right in looking for someone to talk to and promptly climbed right in bed with the two since Minseok at least was still awake, and always good for a cuddle.

“Knew what?” said Minseok. It would have been a coy remark, except he said it with a straight face. He already knew what Jongdae was asking.

“About Yixing's wife. Sehun's mother. She was like us. How did you know?”

Minseok reclined on several pillows and as Jongdae spoke, Minseok pulled him backwards towards himself and started to through Jongdae's hair with one delicate hand. The other clasped him lightly around his chest.  Jongdae would have been happy to fall into a nap coma right there. To purr it out and sleep away every morose thought. He rested his head back on Minseok's shoulder, listened as Luhan twitched gently in his sleep, and waited for the answer. 

After what seemed like ages, Minseok said simply, “I asked, and Yixing told me. The first time I met him. I asked the same thing Kai did. 'What makes you think you know anything about us?'“ Minseok paused, stretched out his torso and readjusted. “It had been barely four years since she died - Sehun would have been twelve years old; he was sixteen when I met him - but Yixing told me about his 'wife' with such startling clarity that I couldn't help but to trust him. I wouldn't have gone with just any human at that time. I thought I hated the whole lot of him. But then came Yixing, who had been married in everything but in name to a hybrid woman, and he seemed so wise and loving, and even though he was a widower he was not sad because he'd come to terms with everything already: that the woman he loved would go before him, but that he'd given her the best of his years. The law didn't even recognize their marriage, but it was every bit as precious to him, even then. Even now.”

Minseok's words, as well as the hand through his hair, lulled Jongdae into a pleasant stupor. He closed his eyes, murmured, “He never told the rest of us though.”

Minseok chuckled lightly. “Because nobody ever asked him except for me. Nobody asked Sehun either. I think I just knew instinctively, and so I asked. Did you never look at the family pictures in Yixing's house? You would have seen her there. Yixing doesn't hide things. He just doesn't volunteer things except to people who care.”

“You know everything,” whispered Jongdae without casting any guilt. Truthfully though he was ashamed at himself. He hadn't noticed anything, hadn't even thought to ask. He figured Sehun was a willful teenager who'd turned into a stuck-up young adult, and Jongdae hadn't looked any deeper. “Do you know why Baekhyun is so sad these days too?” he asked Minseok hopefully.

Minseok huffed softly. “Now that I do not know. You'll have to ask him yourself. Who knows what his real story even is. I'm not sure even he likes to think about it.”

Evenings in the garden were starting to become bearable thanks to the slightly cooler weather that had rolled in over the last week. Tao was grateful for it. Something about the house seemed stuffy now and Tao didn't like being inside. Perhaps this was how Baekhyun felt and that's why his elder was almost always to be found outside. There was comfort in the garden where flowers blossomed and died and bloomed again, where herbs grew back with a vengeance thanks to Baekhyun's ever nurturing attention. Indoors there was nothing. It was just a place where hybrids lived and where they'd probably die if they never got out. Baekhyun told him he was too young to be thinking such thoughts, but think them he did. Tao couldn't help thinking those thoughts, speaking those words. The problem was, nobody responded to them much, not even Baekhyun. 

Perhaps he could have gone to Sehun, but all thoughts about him had taken a turn as well. The fact that Sehun's mother had been a hybrid, the fact that she was already gone. The fact that both of them were without mothers, and for Tao a father too, because of a cruel twist of biogenetic wiring. Whoever tampered with the first hybrid species hadn't done them much justice. Twice the lifespan of the original feline, roughly half the span of a human's. They were two species combined in one but forever trapped between the extremes, a poor average of the two. No wonder they were seen as pets rather than people. However could humans handle living beside something that looked like them, thought like them, but didn't live as long as them. 

Sehun's wounds were still fresh, of that Tao understood. Kai had ripped open the scabs of loss, but it had been there under the surface all the time. Bitterness. 

“Is this what you see when you look at me?” Tao had asked him that same day, a mere half an hour from the confrontation. He'd followed him outside, silently, until the silence became unbearable and Tao had to ask. “Is that what you see? Something that's going to die one day?” he pressed soft-spokenly. 

“N-no,” Sehun had uttered. “Of course not.”

“But that's how you see my friends. That's why you won't bother getting to know them.”

Sehun hadn't answered that question, hadn't responded to the statement Tao was surely just confirming. 

“What makes me any different then? Just because I'm younger than them? I'm still the same as they are.”

“Y-You're not though. You're different,” Sehun cried.

“I'm not. I'm the same,” Tao reaffirmed. He hadn't talked to him again since then. He didn't know how to. What else was he supposed to say? He was sorely upset and hurt, and mad at Kai for pushing them all this far, and he wanted to comfort Sehun in the aftermath of it all. But perhaps his form of comfort wouldn't help. He was just a hybrid after all. One day he'd go just like Sehun's mother.

He wondered how Yixing dealt with it. Yixing was a rock, solid and stalwart. He never acted like Tao imagined a widower might. But now he understood why Yixing was such a hardcore activist, and why he seemed to care so much for the rescue cats under his care. Why he advocated for a more humanly take on the hybrids' lives in the eyes of regular people. 

He also understood why Sehun seemed to know so much about hybrids, what they were like, what made them tick. How to defend them. He did it unconsciously, but only for Tao, and that made Tao bitter. He didn't want to be treated differently, not if it meant being treated differently than the hybrids he'd come to consider family. Was Minseok any less worth knowing because he had fewer years left in him? Was Luhan? Baekhyun? Kai, Kyungsoo, or even Jongdae who had smiles for everyone and no aim in life except to please as many people as he could and be happy?

Tao heard the cat before he saw him. He was laying on his side pretending to pet the lemongrass when Jongdae came into view. Tao knew he must be looking for him. He hadn't spent much as time with him lately, and that was all his own fault. Tao missed him though, therefore he rolled over when he knew Jongdae was approaching and smiled lazily up at his fellow hybrid. 

“Hello.”

“Hi yourself,” said Jongdae. He squatted down, stretched out his legs and sat down primly, hands in his lap, tail swishing gently behind him along the grass. “How're you?”

“Good,” said Tao, halfway truthfully.

Jongdae smiled and remarked, “Good. How is the garden?” 

Tao sat up himself. “It's fine.” He'd never had such a clipped conversation with Jondae before, not since the first few days after he'd moved in, and Tao didn't like it. “It's nice out here. I've... been thinking.”

“Thinking? About what?”

“Oh, I guess not really thinking. Just, meditating? No, that's not the word either.” Tao grimaced in frustration. “It's spacious. Peaceful! And, I don't know.”

“That's okay. I think I understand.” Jongdae looked down, his soft smile still in place. 

Tao had the distinct impression that somehow Jongdae thought this whole mess was his fault, as if Jongdae could have stopped it. He was the one who'd called everybody home after all. 

“Are you... I'm sorry for ignoring everybody.” Tao changed the subject mid-sentence. 

Jongdae smirked. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I don't know. I just feel bad about everything. Everyone. How is Kai doing these days? I haven't seen him around much.”

“He's been in and out. Mostly out. I think he enjoys working, or at least being at work. He's upset too, you know. For yelling at everyone. Kyungsoo won't even look at him. You and Baekhyun don't come in very often. Kai feels bad for disappointing Minseok, so he won't talk to him. I think Minseok has tried too. No good. Maybe you should do it?” Jongdae meant the last line as a joke, but Tao took it a little to heart. 

“Perhaps I should,” he said. He made to stand up, but Jongdae held him down lightly by the wrist.

“Before you go, wait.” He cleared his throat hopefully. “I... uh, want to tell you something... something Minseok told me earlier, okay?”

Jongdae watched twenty minutes later as Tao strode out the front door intending to meet up with Kai. His message wasn't anything particularly revolutionary, but Jongdae was worried about Tao and his general moodiness these past days. Perhaps after he talked with Kai he would go and find Sehun, talk to him, hear his side of the story. That would probably be best for all, now that the dust had been allowed to settle and everyone was in a calmer mood. 

“Are you doing good deeds again?” Baekhyun accosted him in the kitchen. The twenty-six year old cat was downing a glass of water when Jongdae entered. He smiled as a few droplets trailed down his chin.

“Maybe,” said Jongdae. “We'll see.”

He waited until the other cat had retreated back outside before pulling open a drawer near the microwave. It was littered with junk but somewhere in there was an address book and phone number. Perhaps nobody would praise him for prying this far, but Jongdae had nothing better to do, and truthfully he didn't think the guy would mind if he called him up for... recreational self-counseling. About how to deal with others in the shelter.

As he trusted, Chanyeol agreed eagerly to swing by and pick him up. 

“What are you doing here?”

Tao pretty much expected to be greeted thus. He smiled because Kai's mannerisms had long since ceased to be offensive, even after all they'd gone through this week. Especially after everything this week.

“I came to visit. And to walk you home. You have, what... fifteen more minutes?” Tao glanced at the clock hanging over the lobby desk where Kai worked.

“Something like that.” Kai didn't bother double-checking the time. He looked nervous, defensive, eyes wavering but not quite meeting Tao's as the other took a seat in one of the armchairs. There was no one else in this part of the office building, although Tao did hear some voices coming from down the hallway. “Did you want to talk to me about something?” Kai asked. “Scold me? Yell or get mad? Because if so I know I deserve it all, but if you could just wait for us to leave, I'd be grateful-”

“No, no, no... it's... nothing like that,” Tao insisted. “Just... I came to hang out... with you.”

Kai only blinked at him.

In a softer voice then, Tao said, “I'm really sorry, too, about... everything. That happened to you the other day.” 

“I don't understand.”

“Whatever happened at the agency. Was it... was it really awful? Seeing, that person?”

Before Kai could respond - and Tao wasn't even sure Kai wanted to respond - they were interrupted by a set of young women coming down the hallway, purses and work satchels over their shoulders, giggling and chatting away happily that it was the end of the day. Kai immediately looked away from the other hybrid and greeted them all with smiles. 

“Hey, Kai! We're off for the day. You going home soon too?” said one of the prettiest girls. She swung her short brown hair around and beamed at him. Then her eyes caught sight of the other hybrid and she gasped prettily. “Oh! Who's your friend?”

“Come on, Hyeri,” said one of the other girls. “We're going to be late.”

“Oh, let her flirt,” said a third girl, until she too took notice of Tao. “Oh! Oh my, it's another one. Wow, why are all of you so damn gorgeous?”

Tao and Kai both blushed under their attention. With four ladies preening over him, Tao was at a loss for words. Kai found himself in the awkward position of introducing him to everyone, Tao shaking hands with each girl and saying his name, and both of them grew flustered. Tao could tell though Kai wasn't completely unused to this though. He did make small-talk and respond to a few of the girls' jokes, and seemed to know each of them fairly well.

“Oh, Sojin!” said a girl who'd introduced herself as Yura. “You did invite Kai to our work party his weekend, didn't you? Kai, you heard, right? Are you coming? You can bring Tao along.”

“Yes, please!” said the fourth girl. “That would be fun. More guys to have around. Instead of just our usual set.” She grimaced and made a cute face just as two human guys appeared down the hallway.

“Are you shooting us down again, Minah?” said one. He didn't waste much time bantering with the girls, however, after seeing Kai had a visitor. Kai introduced him as Minhyuk and the man eagerly greeted Tao, asked funny questions about what Kai was like at home, because here he was a chatterbox. - ”Not true,” Kai insisted - and then eagerly jumped into the conversation persuading Kai to come to the work outing. 

The second man Kai introduced as his boss Ilhoon, and although he was a little quieter he smiled politely and shook Tao's hand and he attempted to persuade the girls to leave so that Kai could finish up and leave soon. They finally did, and few more men filtered down the hall, nodded gravely to Kai, and soon it was just Ilhoon and the two hybrids. 

While Kai wandered around turning things off around the building, Tao spoke with Ilhoon. It was a whole lot easier conversing with just one stranger instead of six all at once, and when he found out the man was a friend or sort-of-relative to Joonmyun - which is how Kai got the job - Tao found it even easier. They parted on comfortable terms, Ilhoon volunteering a post for a job if Tao ever wanted it and finally it was just Kai and Tao alone.

Tao cleared his throat. They were standing on the sidwalk outside the building, watching as Ilhoon drove away, and then they started walking back in the direction of home. “That was...”

“Chaotic?” Kai volunteered.

“I was going to say 'fun' but, yeah you're right. It's a little chaotic.”

Kai humphed. “Yeah, it's always like that.”

Tao didn't know what to say. He'd always figured Kai never really liked working here because of how he was treated. A hybrid in the workforce was such a new thing, and he and Jongdae always kind of suspected Kai must dislike it just a shade less than he disliked sitting uselessly at home. 

“They... they don't seem to treat you very different,” said Tao. “Are they all that way?”

“Most, yeah. A few of the older guys still give me a lot of room, snide looks, that sort of thing. The younger people, and Ilhoon, though... they're nice.”

“Just nice?”

Kai frowned, and so Tao dropped the teasing hint to his words. 

“Yeah.”

“If they're nice then what's... the matter?” Tao pried. He figured maybe it had something to do about the 'nice'. Did Kai not like the word, the connotation, the attention?

“Lots of people are just nice. Or, they act that way.” Kai sighed.

That confirmed it in Tao's mind. He wondered for a few paces if he dared to ask Kai more, if he wanted to actually pry into whatever was really bothering Kai. Part of him didn't want to bring up anything worse than what Kai had already been raging about, but then again this was why Tao had come out here after all. To pry.

Tao dared to ask it. “Was the guy that worked at the agency like that? Nice?”

There was a hitch in Kai's breath, but no retaliation. Tao didn't press it and they walked another half a block in silence before Kai said or did anything else. First he sighed, and then he stopped walking - Tao followed suit - but then he started walking again and Tao kept a comfortable pace beside him. 

“He was nice. Still is, actually, apparently. His name is Joonhyung,” he said finally. Then he gave Tao the summary of the last few days. “I... I probably overreacted that day, but I talked to Yixing again, that night. He... he claims Joonhyung left that old place years and years ago after he got sickened by it all. That's why he works at this place now. They are... better than a lot of the other agencies. He couldn't have done anything to help me back then. He tried and was fired for it.” Kai sighed and rubbed his ears like they were an offense to his body, and then he groaned. “Just another thing I have to be regretful over - blowing up on him when it wasn't his fault. Nothing was anybody's fault and I just made everyone so upset. I didn't know about him. I didn't know about Sehun...”

At the sound of Sehun's name, something pulled in Tao's heart. He didn't really want to talk about him, not yet. 

Kai though wasn't breaking down enough to require Tao's full attention. More than anything he seemed weary, as if there wasn't anything new going around in his brain except things he's already told himself over and over, and so Tao let him talk, let him get it all out.

“Lots of people are nice, Tao. Maybe it's just me who's a screw-up.”

“But...” 

“And not everyone are -heads like... like some of the people I've known,” Kai admitted quietly. “Somehow though, that doesn't make me feel any better. Humans are scary people. You don't really know what they're like, not truly.”

“Is that why you won't go to that work party?” Tao asked.

Kai chuckled. “Maybe. Maybe they don't actually want me there, and they're just being polite?”

Tao shook his head. “No, it seemed more than that though. Like... maybe they actually do like you? The girls especially.” He nudged Kai in the ribs and when he got a shy smile out of the other cat, he knew he'd read the situation correctly. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Kai said again. “And maybe I like... them. But, saying that is about as far as it will ever go. I mean, why would it go any further? I'm just a hybrid cat. With... a past nobody should ever want to hear about. What's the point?” he finished in a deprecating tone. 

And Tao was sad. If he were Jongdae maybe he would say something now like, 'Ahah! So what? Go after your dream! (And/or talk to Minseok!)'  Instead, however, Tao was just Tao, and he knew nothing about life beyond his own little world, and even that much was messed up. He settled for placing an arm around Kai's waist as they walked and another block went by in silence. Initially Kai was startled, but he didn't pull away or make Tao remove his arm. 

“I'm sorry about Sehun, by the way,” Kai finally said, one final block from home. 

“Hm? Oh, that's okay.”

“Is it though?” Kai whispered. “I didn't realize how much he liked you, I guess. I'm sorry I messed that up. All I saw was another strange human monopolizing your time and I was worried... about you. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have interferred. Some people I suppose really are okay with hybrids, being friends with us or... more. I just didn't think that about him, after all the time I've known him. But, now... now that I know...”

“It's really okay.” Tao tried to stop him. 

“I guess he really would know better than most people. If he likes you, then he likes you and it doesn't necessarily have to mean anything bad-”

“Kai, you don't... please...”

But Kai wasn't listening to him. “He already knows everything about hybrids. Therefore he's got to know what he's doing. Unlike... unlike the people I work with. What do they know about me anyway? Just that I'm a cat? That I'm different? What girl wants to pin her young life to someone like me...”

It wasn't quite the roundabout Tao was going for... Perhaps Sehun was an easier category to talk about after all. 

“What... why would Sehun want to spend part of his life with me though?” Tao turned it back around. 

Kai cleared his throat, stopped walking. “I don't know, but he's probably thinking at least a little bit clearer than any person I know. Maybe... you should ask him?”

“No, no I don't want to ask that,” Tao insisted. 

It was then when he noticed they'd stopped walking. They were several houses from their home still, but blocking their path on the sidewalk one house away was the subject of their discussion. 

Sehun had just seen them. He halted, eyes wide, and three little doggies pulled angrily at the leash to get away and rush over to Tao. Kai stiffened and bristled, traces of fear evident in his eyes but he held his ground, and Sehun didn't drop the leash this time. None of them moved.

“Will you... will you apologize to him for me, please?” Kai begged. “I'll... do it myself later but, right now... sorry you're on your own.” And then he abandoned Tao by crossing the street to avoid the dogs. 

Sehun gave him a minute to clear the way and then he started forward. Tao didn't move. He wasn't sure he wanted to have this reconciliation out right now, but fate wasn't giving him a choice this very moment. He stood still, waiting for the other to come to him.

“Tao...” said the human in a voice just louder than a whisper.

4,365 words

I hope this was a decent follow-up to the last chapter's mess. There are a whole lot of hurt feelings going around, and bad communication - but I hope to make up for that partly by using Minseok, Jongdae and Kai.  In the meantime, this is a set back for Taohun and now they get to start over. Hooray! Maybe this time too it'll be a deliberate coming together, and not just accidental. 

And I know Tao is being pretty obstinate this chapter - my sis/beta is giving me major grief over this. Believe me, I'm mad at him too for making this worse on Sehun - but think about this for a moment: They don't talk about anything. So how does Tao know that Sehun really likes him yet? Does he? Or is he just messing around with him now because they kind of fit? How is he supposed to know? He clipped Sehun off before they could even discuss that this chapter. But it's coming. Soon. 

Also, Sudo advancement next chapter. Look forward to it :)

<3 Rosie