It begins on Baekhyun's fifth birthday. He's standing in front of his new classroom, too shy to look up into the faces of innocent strangers that were to be part of his new environment in a town completely alien to him.

The teacher kindly tells him to introduce himself and he takes a few seconds to look up. “I’m Byun Baekhyun.” he simply says.

Nobody smiles or claps and it makes him feel even more nervous but then a tall, frizzy-haired kid with glasses at the back of the classroom suddenly jumps out of his seat and throws a thumbs up into the air.

“Hey, Baekhyun! I’m Chanyeol!” the kid announces. Baekhyun gapes at him with his mouth parted open, unsure of how to respond but it doesn’t take long for him to start smiling because Chanyeol gets the rest of the class to cheer for him and he’s starting to feel a little more welcome.

The class erupts in various nice to meet you, Baekhyuns and lively greetings, lifting Baekhyun’s spirits. The teacher smiles gently and offers him the empty seat next to Chanyeol’s.

Chanyeol pulls the chair out for him and he sits, hands automatically falling into a clump in his lap. He bites his lip uncontrollably, unable to look up. Chanyeol taps him on the cheek multiple times to get his attention and when he finally does turn to the boy, Chanyeol’s grinning at him with two missing front teeth and it makes him giggle.

“My name is Chanyeol and it’s nice to meet you. Hey, what’s your favourite colour? Do you like milk? We have a lot of milk here!” Endless conversation starts to pour out of Chanyeol’s mouth and Baekhyun struggles to get a word in. He doesn’t mind, though, because Chanyeol seems like a really fun kid and it’s comforting in ways more than one.

He warms up to Chanyeol throughout the day as he’s introduced to the boy’s circle of friends and gives him his toys to play with. Baekhyun doesn’t open up much until right before nap time when he’s lying on the pillow beside the other boy’s.

“It’s my birthday today.” he says in a mutter, still slightly shy but trying. “I’m five now.”

Chanyeol turns so he’s lying on his side, tiny hand resting under his head. His eyes widen with wonder and Baekhyun thinks there are stars in them. “Your birthday? You should have told us earlier, Kyungsoo would have made a cake for you! He's good at playing in the sand.”

“I didnt’t really talk much today…” he blushes in response.

“It’s okay! We’ll celebrate it next year.”

“You’ll be my friend until next year?”

Chanyeol nods so enthusiastically that his glasses almost come off and his hair is everywhere. Baekhyun stares and giggles. “I’ll be your friend until we die, Baekkie. That’ll be my birthday present to you, so happy birthday!”

Baekhyun blushes even harder when Chanyeol leans in to plant a small kiss on his cheek.

//

On Baekhyun’s ninth birthday, Chanyeol finally gives him a real gift - a toy microphone.

“You like to sing and you’re really good at singing, so I saw this and thought of you!” Chanyeol couldn’t stop grinning as he hands the microphone over.

Baekhyun jumps on his best friend to wrap him in a tight, grateful hug and Chanyeol laughs as he hugs back. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“You should audition for a company and become famous, Baek. You’d seriously make it big time.”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ll get in.”

“Are you kidding me?” Chanyeol gawks at him while he pinches his cheeks. Baekhyun groans in protest but he actually hates to admit that he likes it. “I’ve never heard anyone as good as you or Kyungsoo. You two could make it as a duet or even become rivals. Gasp - that’d be so cool.”

“I can’t believe you actually said gasp when you could’ve just done it.”

Chanyeol grins. “It’s a thing, Baek, get with the times. Anyway, please promise me you won’t let your talent go to waste and audition at least once, when you’re older.”

A victim to Chanyeol’s endless praises, Baekhyun promises to consider it. His best friend has always been his number one fan ever since Chanyeol had accidentally walked into the bathroom while he was in the shower, singing his favourite cartoon theme songs. That was two years ago. Chanyeol never fails to tell him how good he sounds even when he hums a simple tune. Baekhyun thinks he could get used to his motivational antics, but sometimes his friend’s compliments get a little too much and butterflies start to claim home in Baekhyun’s stomach.

(“If I could listen to one voice for the rest of my life, it would be yours.” Chanyeol had told him last week, to which Baekhyun had replied with a roll of his eyes but all shades of red tinting his cheeks.

“Don’t tell Kyungsoo, but you’re better at singing than him.” Two months ago, when Baekhyun had performed with Kyungsoo in front of their class.

“Everything about you is beautiful, Baekhyun. I’m glad to have a friend like you.” Chanyeol had mentioned him in his birthday party speech thanking his guests for coming. Baekhyun’s nine year old heart couldn’t help but race and he struggled to hide his blushes.)

He doesn’t mind, though. It’s Chanyeol who spurs him on where his parents disagree with him. It’s Chanyeol who tells him how wonderful he is when he thinks the opposite of it. It’s Chanyeol who becomes his home when his parents are away for long periods of time, always letting him have the right side of the bed. It’s Chanyeol who always makes him feel less alone and more like he belongs, just like the first day of kindergarten.

//

They’re fourteen when things start to change and everything is a little bit strange for Baekhyun. Chanyeol gets his first girlfriend, much to Baekhyun’s quiet dismay, and it gets him thinking all kinds of things.

Minah is pretty, popular and smart, but not Chanyeol’s type.

(Chanyeol had told him on the day he asked her out that the only thing he liked about her was the fact she could sing well. Baekhyun found it hard to smile that day.)

Whenever he thinks of the compliments Chanyeol gave him for his singing, he wonders if Minah gets told the exact same things. It’s a little off-putting, he thinks, to be the first but not the last, but he can’t do anything about it, though - Chanyeol is his best friend after all.

Baekhyun finds himself spending more time with Kyungsoo during most lunches when Chanyeol is away wooing Minah. The three of them have been friends since kindergarten but even Kyungsoo knows that he’s only a small speck in Baekhyun’s life compared to the space Chanyeol’s taken up.

“I bet you they won’t even last long. A week, at the least.” Kyungsoo says, shaking his head disapprovingly as he eats his noodles. Baekhyun smiles but says nothing, knowing the former’s just trying to cheer him up.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Nothing to talk about.”

“You’re clearly upset he’s got a girlfriend, Baek.”

“I’m only upset because I’m not used to him having all of his attention on someone else.” It’s a slip of the tongue but Kyungsoo understands the meaning behind it. Baekhyun loses his appetite thinking of what Chanyeol could be doing with his girlfriend right now, so he gives his lunch to Kyungsoo.

“It sounds like jealousy.” Kyungsoo mutters. "I know how you feel."

Baekhyun finds it hard to eat anything at all for the entire day.

They break up three weeks later and Baekhyun finds out when he opens his house to a solemn Chanyeol standing on his doorstep, head hung low and his clothes a little wet from the drizzling rain. Without a word, he lets his best friend inside and pulls him upstairs, into his bedroom and onto his bed where he wraps him with his blanket, not caring that they’d get wet.

“I’ll get the ice cream and the Xbox controllers out.” Baekhyun tells him, an excuse to get out of the room for a while.

He hovers by the fridge thinking about what to say to comfort Chanyeol, but nothing comes to mind. He’s never been used to seeing Chanyeol be with other people and maybe Kyungsoo’s right, he is a little jealous. Best friends are best friends, people who dedicate precious time to each other. If Baekhyun loses that - loses Chanyeol - he’s left with nothing. There has never been anything else in his life except for his best friend.

“Baek?” he doesn’t realise he’s been downstairs for ten whole minutes until Chanyeol’s in the kitchen too, forehead scrunched up in minute worry.

Baekhyun smiles at him in reassurance. His heart is caught somewherein between his chest and throat. “Yeol, you know I love you, right?”

The other nods. The corners of his mouth are twitching to return the smile. Baekhyun walks over to him and slings his arms around his tall frame, hugging him close and tight.

“You’re my best friend and I love you and you’re okay. It will all be okay.”

Chanyeol returns the embrace and still sullen, he breathes in the scent of home present in Baekhyun’s hair. “I know.” is all he says.

And it’s all they need. To know they’ll be there for each other no matter what, that Baekhyun’s arms will always be open for Chanyeol to curl up in and maybe cry, that Baekhyun will always be there for Chanyeol to come home to - it’s all they need.

//

Baekhyun doesn’t really realise it until their seventh Christmas together, another year of friendship to add to their nine (the two years they weren’t together was spent with Baekhyun visiting his grandmother across the country and Chanyeol away at his aunt’s for the break). While their parents are all out at a neighbourhood Christmas party, they opt to stay in and curl up in Baekhyun’s couch to watch movies until way past midnight.

Their legs are sprawled out on top of each other and when Baekhyun’s ankle really itches and his position is far too comfortable for him to disturb, Chanyeol sits up momentarily to itch it for him. Baekhyun grunts in thanks, warmth pooling in stomach at the echo of his touch.

“Do you wanna open your present now or later?” Chanyeol asks him, eyes never leaving the TV screen.

“Is it big?” He shakes his head. “Then I’ll go for now. Your present is under the tree so get it and we can open them together.”

Chanyeol gets up to fetch a small red box in the corner of the room, almost hidden by the other boxes that surround it and reads the To: The Big Frizzy Giant written in Baekhyun’s scrawl on the tag with a smile. While he’s up, he fishes for Baekhyun’s present in his jacket pocket and then jumps back to sit beside him.

“‘Big voice, small body. My best friend, Baek.’ Is the ‘big voice, small body’ really necessary, Park Chanyeol?” Baekhyun groans disapprovingly. The other just smiles mischievously.

“Just wanted to state the truth.”

“Yeah yeah, you never let me forget it.”

Chanyeol hands him a black velvet pouch, which he takes with a curious eyebrow raised. “Merry Christmas, Baekhyun.”

Eyes turn into crescents when Baekhyun smiles at his best friend, taking the pouch. “Open it at the same time?”

Chanyeol waves the red box and nods. “One.”

“Two.”

“Three!” they say in unison, opening their gifts with excitement electrifying the air. Every Christmas is like this, small and exclusive, but it gets better by the year.

Chanyeol’s box is filled with small glittery stars and a black guitar pick just as shiny as them sitting in the middle. The surface of it gleams with an engraved ‘PCY’ and he can’t help but gasp in awe at first sight. He picks it up, turns it over and there’s a ‘with love, from B’ engraved in small silver. He could just about jump in utter happiness but he sees his best friend lower his head to hide behind his long hair and it’s a thing Baekhyun does when he -

“Hey, why are you crying! Don’t cry!” Chanyeol carefully puts the guitar pick back in the box and places it on the table so he could lift Baekhyun’s face up with both hands and wipe his tears with his thumbs.

They’re both smiling up at each other and Baekhyun can’t help but cry when he sees Chanyeol’s face through his tears. He hasn’t really thought about it much, but behind the constant sneaky smiles and big ears, Chanyeol is really beautiful.

“I’m not crying.” He laughs, shaking his head from Chanyeol’s hands and wiping his face with the back of his hands.

“You crybaby.” He pokes his tongue out at his best friend and then returns to the gift in his hand.

Inside Chanyeol’s gift pouch was a slim silver bracelet with ‘FEARLESS’ engraved on its long, silver plate. Baekhyun holds it in his hand, careful and precious, trying hard to stop crying because throughout all of the Christmas presents, birthday presents and casual gifts, this is possibly the best present Chanyeol’s ever gotten him. He really can’t help the tears because he’s overwhelmed by the feelings and the sight of Chanyeol’s blinding grin, and he realises that there’s a different kind of admiration for his best friend sitting in the bottom of his heart. This is the same kind that he’s met before and fleetingly felt, but always ignored because he once thought it was nothing. Only now, it definitely feels like something.

“I’m sorry I cried, I just - looked at it and,” His eyes meet Chanyeol’s and his heartbeat falters, “fell in love.”

It’s difficult to swallow the words, but he manages to get them out and back in before he regrets it.

Chanyeol ruffles his hair and pulls him into a hug. “You’re so weird.”

Baekhyun laughs but somehow, his heart feels a little hollow. “Thank you, Yeol. I love you, you know that, right?”

“I know.”

//

Baekhyun doesn’t really realise it until they've finally grown out of their onesie pyjamas, but in all the years that have passed by and all the times Baekhyun’s told him he loves him, Chanyeol never says it back and only ever answers with I know in the same tone each time.

The hollow in his heart is getting bigger and he can’t do anything to stop it. It doesn’t help that the more he says those three words, the more he means it.

It gets harder when they start their first year in high school. Neither are prepared for the year or for what’s to come next, but Baekhyun tries his best to hold back the feelings he doesn’t really understand. Kyungsoo is the only person he can trust with his secret, the secret that he likes his best friend in a way more intimate than it’s meant to be, but on the day Kyungsoo invites them to a party hosted by his friend, a senior two years older than them, he realises that even Kyungsoo can’t be trusted.

He’s never been one to drink and neither is Chanyeol, but what he’s never known is that the latter has always desired to drink and get drunk because he thinks it’s part of being a teenager. Baekhyun absolutely hates it.

Chanyeol’s drunk by the time he gets to his fourth bottle of beer and Baekhyun’s about to take him home, but Kyungsoo takes Chanyeol by the hand and tells Baekhyun he’ll take care of it. The smaller boy’s words are a little slurred and his eyes danced around in their sockets but Baekhyun is naive enough to think nothing of it.

An hour passes after Kyungsoo pulls Chanyeol away and it worries Baekhyun to the point where he risks going back into the partying crowd, drinks sloshing everywhere as minors get -faced drunk, to look for them.

He bumps into Junmyeon, Kyungsoo’s senior friend and is glad to find that he’s not as drunk as everyone else.

“Have you seen Kyungsoo? Or Chanyeol? Or Kyungsoo and Chanyeol?” he asks, frantic and desperate to go home with his best friend.

Junmyeon shrugs. “I last saw Kyungsoo taking him upstairs. Maybe they needed to throw up or something. Chanyeol is such a lightweight.” He laughs but Baekhyun doesn’t join in. Instead, he runs through the throng of people barricading the hallway to get to the stairs and he doesn’t stop running until he gets to the top. He opens every door but finds nothing until he gets to a closed door and when he opens it, he doesn’t really expect to find Kyungsoo underneath a shirtless Chanyeol with their mouths looking like they’re glued together.

Shock stops him from backing away and forgetting that he ever saw them, so he just stands there with his heart collapsing all the way down to his toes and his head spinning with confusion.

“Chan…” he tries to say it, but never finishes. Kyungsoo turns his head to the side, to face Baekhyun, and his eyes go wide with surprise. But he doesn’t push Chanyeol, who’s now roaming his hands up his shirt and Baekhyun can see how hard Kyungsoo’s trying to hold back his moan.

It hurts more than Baekhyun’s ever dreamed of, but he’s never dreamed of Kyungsoo kissing his best friend. In fact, he’s only ever dreamed of being the only one to kiss Chanyeol. It hurts, more than he’ll expect it to, and his tears come flooding without a dam to prevent them.

He hates how good Chanyeol looks shirtless, he hates how Chanyeol’s the one on top of Kyungsoo, he hates that Kyungsoo is the one kissing Chanyeol, he hates that Kyungsoo is the one for Chanyeol, he hates that Kyungsoo led Chanyeol away from him in the first place and most of all, he hates that he could have just pulled on Chanyeol’s hand a little earlier to take them home.

He hates himself more than anything for thinking he could hold it back.

He turns on his heel with eyes burning just as hot as his hands as he clenches them open and closed, his bracelet feeling heavy on his wrist, and he leaves.

Chanyeol turns up on his doorstep the next day with an apologetic expression on his face and Baekhyun wants to so badly slam the door in it, but he just can’t bring himself to.

“I’m sorry I got drunk last night.” Baekhyun doesn’t reply when Chanyeol starts speaking and his mouth is pulled into a tight line. He hates how he never fails to show his emotions on his face. He hates how betrayed he feels, bitter to the core at how naive and wishful he is.

“I’m sorry that you left without me and that I left you in the first place. I’m sorry that Kyungsoo…did that. I’m sorry that I was stupid enough to even want to go to that party. I’m sorry for everything.”

It takes Baekhyun four minutes to respond. His heart hammers in his chest at how tired and broken Chanyeol sounds, but he doesn’t entirely forgive him just yet. Usually, he’d let him in and they’d sit on his couch and talk but this time, he stands at the doorway with a barrier between them and Baekhyun can only wonder if this is what it’s like to grow up witnessing changes in your best friend but never changing yourself. There is a sort of pain he’s not familiar with, one he’s never heard of, and it mixes with the confusion pooling in his stomach.

“Chanyeol, are you gay?” out of all the things he could say or ask Chanyeol, he chooses the one that could make or break Baekhyun’s feelings. Chanyeol was drunk last night, so maybe it isn’t much of a confirmation, but Baekhyun half hopes that he’ll say yes. It would make things much easier if Chanyeol was straight because Baekhyun could move on and maybe find someone else that way, but it would be harder if he knew he had an inkling of a chance.

Chanyeol doesn’t even have to think, so he just nods straight away. Baekhyun’s heart calms for once and he opens the door a little wider to gesture for him to come in. His eyes light up and Baekhyun meets them to find some understanding. Baekhyun wants to tell him, let him know, to say that hey, I’m gay too and I like you but if there’s one thing he’s good at, apart from singing, it’s holding back.

There’s a chance, he thinks, but it’s not big enough.

“Hey, Yeol?” He doesn’t move away from the door even when Chanyeol walks in, already making his way to the living room. The latter hums in reply. “I love you.”

Baekhyun pretends his heart doesn’t break a little when he hears the all-too-familiar words that come next. “I know.”

//

He eventually lets Kyungsoo drift away from him in the first year of high school, holding a grudge without ever addressing why. Chanyeol never questions it, but he understands. He’s the only one who manages to stay friends with Kyungsoo but they never go back to that night at Junmyeon’s party.

Baekhyun finds a friend, a real friend, in Jongdae, who he meets when he signs up for choir club. Jongdae has an amazing voice, way better than Kyungsoo’s (or so he thinks - Baekhyun will always be bitter, no doubt about it) and he thinks there’s someone just as wonderful as Chanyeol because Jongdae is kind, considerate and trustworthy.

Sometimes he wonders if he could ever make Chanyeol jealous by being friends with Jongdae, but he decides he shouldn’t play dirty.

They’re practicing for their upcoming performance for the Christmas assembly when Jongdae asks him.

“Do you like Chanyeol?”

It takes Baekhyun by surprise so he doesn’t reply immediately. Judging from the playful smirk on Jongdae’s lips, he knows the latter already knows. “W-what makes you say that?”

“Nothing, just wondering. You do, don’t you?”

With a solemn nod, Baekhyun sighs. “Maybe. Yes. Is it obvious?”

Jongdae pats him on the back. “Just not to him.”

“He’s my best friend…” he frowns. “Is it even right to feel this way?”

The other boy shakes his head. “I think having one of you develop feelings for the other is included in the best friends package. It’s not surprising, but naturally, it would if he didn’t like you back.”

“He doesn’t.” Baekhyun’s voice is firm and it hurts him. Jongdae slings an arm around his shoulder and squeezes him close.

“It’s okay. Things will work out in the end.”

“You think so?”

Jongdae grins. “I know so. You should tell him. Maybe it’ll help.”

Baekhyun shakes his head vigorously. “Nope, nope and nope. I don’t want to make things weird between us.”

“It’ll get harder to be around him otherwise. You’ll always be stuck at a stand-still if you always hold back. I repeat, things will work out in the end. Trust me on this.”

Things don’t work out a week later because Chanyeol is sitting on Baekhyun’s bed, fiddling with his fingers the way he does when he’s nervous.

“What’s up with you?” Baekhyun an eyebrow as he sits beside him.

Chanyeol flinches and bites his lip. “Nothing.”

“Yeah, right. Tell me, what’s wrong? I know when you’re itching to say something. You've shut up for once.”

Baekhyun waits for him and he admits to himself that even this makes him anxious. He’s alright when it comes to being around Chanyeol, after twelve years he’s gotten used to it despite his growing feelings, but when Chanyeol starts hesitating around him, he worries. He’s never had to hesitate much because it’s always been Baekhyun doing the hesitating. Chanyeol is different.

“Baek…” he starts. “I have something to tell you.”

Rolling his eyes is Baekhyun’s new hobby. “I know. So what is it?”

The seconds go by as Chanyeol doesn’t answer and Baekhyun’s palms start to feel clammy. He doesn’t want to push for the other boy to tell him, but he’s curious and still waiting and it’s making him feel uneasy.

“I like Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun suddenly feels like he’s the punchline for one big joke that Chanyeol loves to tell. He’ll always be the one on the sideline, always being the best friend but never being more. It sickens him to think of what Chanyeol is to him, but it’s almost funny - this is where his entire childhood with Chanyeol has gotten him .

It’s not fair. He wants to tell him no, don’t say things like that, it hurts but Baekhyun doesn’t miss a beat in his hesitance. “D-do you really?”

Chanyeol nods. Baekhyun wants to curl up into a ball and die.

//

“I’m sorry, Baek.” Jongdae rubs his back soothingly, taking the music sheets from his shaking hands and putting them on the table. It’s just them two in the choir room as routine practice for their end-of-year performance next month and Baekhyun finally allows himself to break down in his soundproof surroundings and the comfort of Jongdae’s presence. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s been a week since he told me and I still can’t face him properly. I use our practices as an excuse every time he wants to hang out and I feel so ing bad, Jongdae. I don’t even know when or how this happened.”

Baekhyun slumps onto the cover of the piano keys and exhales, trying to fight the tears but they betray him anyway. Jongdae sits beside him on the stool to lean his head on his shoulder and he wraps an arm around his waist. “Don’t blame yourself for anything, yeah? Maybe Kyungsoo doesn’t even like him back. Don’t cry, Baek.”

“It’s not fair. I could tell him that I love him at any time and he’ll just reply with his stupid ‘I know’ and I’ll never know how he feels. He’s my best friend and I should know everything about him but I can’t read him when it comes to me. Then Kyungsoo comes along and makes out with him that one time and suddenly it’s like my feelings don’t matter.”

“You can’t lose hope over something like this.” Jongdae sighs and if he didn’t have such good ears, he would’ve missed the way his voice sounded strained and half-hearted.

Are you going to give up on me too?

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one telling me to move on and start meeting other people because I’m an strong, independent man?” Baekhyun tries to joke but the weight on his heart is crushing.

Jongdae snorts, playfully slapping him on the shoulder. Then he lowers his voice and nuzzles Baekhyun’s neck comfortingly. “There’s no point in doing that. You could have a hundred guys and girls lining up to ask you out but you wouldn’t choose any of them. You’d choose Chanyeol even if he’s not one of the guys lining up. You don’t see anyone else but him.”

Silence passes but the thoughts raging in his head are deafening. Jongdae’s awfully good at being accurate.

//

Baekhyun tries to return things to normalcy, vowing to stay a good friend to Chanyeol and supporting his crush but it gets to him sometimes. He doesn’t show that he disapproves, or even hates it, because Chanyeol should be happy. Even if it means not being the one making him happy.

Kyungsoo starts hanging out with them more but Baekhyun doesn’t ask for the two to state their relationship. He wants to not care and pretend that they’re just friends and Chanyeol’s crush is one-sided - but he knows that’s not reality. He forgives Kyungsoo for what he did at Junmyeon’s party. He doesn’t forgive him for being the one to steal Chanyeol’s heart.

The thought of a future doesn’t hit him until the day in their third year where they fill in university applications to decide where to go next. He’s always seen himself with Chanyeol until they’re grey and wrinkly but he doesn’t really care if they’re best friends or lovers years from now (though he would really prefer the latter). He could hate Chanyeol if he chose Kyungsoo over him but it wouldn’t change the fact that he’ll always want Chanyeol in his life.

He’s folding his application sheet in half when Chanyeol slides into his desk next to him, Kyungsoo hovering dangerously close to the taller boy.

“What did you put, Baek?” Chanyeol asks, curious and enthusiastic.

Baekhyun tries not to show his distaste for Kyungsoo following his friend around like a puppy (but he can’t exactly hold a grudge over that since he’s exactly the same), putting on a pokerface he’s perfected over the months he’s had to deal with them. “I’ll tell you later. What did you guys write?”

“K-ARTS, of course. Or if I don’t get accepted, it’s the University of Seoul.” Chanyeol nods proudly. Baekhyun’s hand goes a little limp while folding his sheet because he’s written the same universities. If they were accepted into the same university, he wouldn’t be able to avoid Chanyeol. Half of him hopes while the other half wants to escape.

It was once their dream to go to university together, graduate together, even live together in the future and maybe that dream still stands - but Baekhyun is different now to the young boy he was back then. He has to start growing up without his best friend at some point.

“You’ll get in, Yeol.” he says. “You’re good at what you do. Composing music has always been a dream of yours.”

“Just like singing is yours, right?”

No, Yeol, you’re my dream. It gets caught on the edge of his tongue and he wants to tell him right then and there that he couldn’t care less about singing as long as there’s a future beside him, but he holds back and lets his desire dissolve in his throat. He simply shrugs, forcing a smile.

“And you, Kyungsoo?” he asks, without looking up. The sheet of paper in his hand has been reduced to a smaller square after consistent folding.

Said boy coughs. “K-ARTS, vocal music.”

Wanting to seem like he approves, Baekhyun nods attentively and looks up briefly to give the two a tight smile.

“ I hope you get in then.” He gets up, waving the folded paper in his hand and tries hard not to sound so bitter. “I’m going to go and give this in, so I’ll see you later.”

Chanyeol has the wrong mind to cheerfully wave him farewell while Kyungsoo nods in acknowledgement, and Baekhyun wants to walk into a black pit because he realises if he follows Chanyeol, Kyungsoo will always be there.

He can never escape.

//

Everything is fine, somehow, until their high school graduation day dawns upon them and none of them are ready for the life that comes next.

Jongdae completely disregards the school’s alphabetical system of order and goes to stand next to Baekhyun, congratulating him with a tight embrace and his dazzling smile. Baekhyun returns it wholeheartedly and is momentarily blinded by the smile, causing him to laugh.

“Hallelujah, Byun Baek!” Jongdae whispers in his ear, respectful of the ceremony still going on in front of them. “We’re graduating today and doesn’t it feel so damn good?”

Baekhyun nods, still smiling. “I feel like I didn’t even do anything at all in the past three years, but I think you’re proof that I am actually capable of being somewhat social.”

The other boy ruffles his hair with a laugh that rings in his ears. He hopes Jongdae won’t stray far from him after graduation. “Yeah, you’re not such a potato after all. Where’s Chanyeol?” He can only shrug in reply and Jongdae just nudges him with his elbow before pulling him into a hug. He pretends he doesn’t wish for Chanyeol’s arms to be around him instead, so he closes his eyes and wishes all the pain away. “It’s okay. You’ll get through this.”

I hope.

It’s not okay seconds later when he opens his eyes, still in an embrace, and catches sight of Kyungsoo on his tiptoes as he wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, head tilted to whisper something in the latter’s ear to make him smile widely.

It’s then that he questions their friendship. Have they been friends in the time Baekhyun’s spent avoiding facing his own feelings? Is it liable to call them best friends when he can only feel them drifting away from each other, into other people’s circles - but Baekhyun realises he’s never really the one moving himself. It’s a bit strange, he thinks, how it’s changed without seeing it.

What do I call you when you’re someone who’s too far away?

There’s something in him that breaks as he struggles to find an answer, and it’s not his heart, because it broke somewhere along the way of falling in love with his best friend.

//

Summer that year is quick to pass. Baekhyun spends it in Jongdae’s company, only occasionally meeting up with Chanyeol because he seemed too busy for most of the break (with Kyungsoo, he expects). He often wonders if the words whispered in Chanyeol’s ears were a confession.

Jongdae gets an acceptance letter to K-ARTS on the same day Baekhyun does and he prays to God in thanks for letting Jongdae stay near to him.

“If Kyungsoo gets in too, you do realise there’s a chance we’ll all be in the same classes, right?”

Baekhyun nods but doesn’t reply.

It’s a lie he tells himself every night before he sleeps, but it’ll all be okay as long as Chanyeol’s there.

It’s coincidence - because Baekhyun has only ever believed in fate once and that was when he first met Chanyeol - that they all end up together in the same university.

Baekhyun, Jongdae and Kyungsoo get into the Vocal Music course at K-ARTS while Chanyeol gets into Composition and even more of a coincidence, Chanyeol becomes his roommate.

“Just like our old sleepovers, right?” Chanyeol laughs, settling into their room after unpacking his boxes.

“How are we ever going to keep this place clean if we’re the messiest guys around when we’re together.” Baekhyun groans as he puts away his bunch of socks.

“Kyungsoo likes cleaning, ask him to do it.”

(Baekhyun took time over the summer to master the art of Staying Cool with Jongdae for whenever Kyungsoo is mentioned.)

“He lives on the other side of the complex.” Which is good, thank you, Lord.

“Then we’ll just…” Chanyeol shrugs his shoulders. “have to make sure to cover up the mess every time.”

“Do you remember how much your mother scolded you for always doing that?”

The boy grins mischievously. “She’s not here now, is she?”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes but he can’t stop the smile that surfaces onto his face. “No, she’s not. But I am.”

When Chanyeol laughs, Baekhyun almost feels how normal things are between them right now and he’s grateful that the past awkwardness - mainly on his part - has gone. “You could tell me to clean every inch of this room until there’s not a single speck of dust left and I’d do it.”

He pretends (because really, what else can he do when it comes to his beloved best friend?) that his words don’t leave him completely speechless and that the Chanyeol that always used to compliment him is long gone. But he can’t help but to think that maybe, just maybe, they haven’t lost that fourteen year spark yet.

“I’m gonna go grab something to eat.” He mutters, needing an excuse to get some fresh air. “Do you want anything?”

Chanyeol grins. “Just come back in one piece, Baek."

He nods and starts making his way towards the door, but there's another thing holding him back - like always - and it's how much he's missed having Chanyeol around so close. They've drifted in a way Baekhyun thought was inevitable but despite not believing in fate and the likes of it, he still feels the red string connecting them together. Years may have passed and times have changed them both, but Baekhyun will always consider Chanyeol his best friend.

Before he leaves the room, he turns to flash Chanyeol one last smile. "Hey, Yeol?"

"Yeah?"

Baekhyun's chest throbs at the sight of the other boy sitting on his bed and for a brief moment, memories of Chanyeol in his own bedroom back at home years ago resurface and just like then, his heart never fails to stutter. Sometimes, there are some things that never change.

"I love you." He grins and he doesn't hear the dreaded I know because he's already gone.

This is the first time Baekhyun ever walks away.

//

It's certainly not the last time when his twentieth birthday comes around and he's in the library spending it studying. Chanyeol and a slightly unexpected Kyungsoo walk in, whispering the happy birthday song while creeping up to where Baekhyun's sitting on the study table. There's a cupcake in Chanyeol's hand and an unlit candle wedged in the middle of it.

"Happy birthday, Baekhyun!" they yell (or whisper as loud as they could, respectful of their location) and Chanyeol carefully props the cupcake onto the table in front of Baekhyun.

Speechless, he blinks the moment in until a grin slowly surfaces onto his face. "Oh my god, it's my ing birthday."

Chanyeol takes the seat across him. Kyungsoo stays standing. "Hell yeah it is!"

"Happy birthday, Baekhyun." Kyungsoo nods his greeting, to which the birthday boy replies to with a tight smile.

"Thank you."

Its a bit awkward when silence passes over them. Baekhyun occupies the quiet space by staring at the cupcake, looking as if he's admiring it but actually wondering what the he should do now.

Chanyeol clears his throat and he snaps his head up. "Hey, Baek?"

There's a look on Chanyeol's face that he absolutely cannot stand. It's apologetic and burdensome, the increasing creases on his forehead lace themselves with pity. He knows Chanyeol's hesitating with bad news, it's a look Baekhyun's familiarised himself with over the past few weeks that he's increasingly seen his friend with Kyungsoo, the two of them almost as inseparable as Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

He knows - or rather, feels - what's about to come next. He just didn't expect it to be dumped on him on his birthday.

It takes strength to force a smile onto one's face when they're faced with one of their worst fears. Baekhyun tries and succeeds, his blood boiling under his skin but he ignores the tears prickling his eyes.

He stares into Chanyeol's eyes, almost pleading for him to just stop - but Chanyeol knows nothing so he sees nothing. He catches the brief glance he sends to Kyungsoo and that's when Baekhyun knows he has to go.

"Happy birthday to me, huh." Baekhyun's forced smile is more prominent now. He swallows the hurt after seeing the pitiful expression on Chanyeol's face and he decides to pack up his things. He pushes the cupcake back to Chanyeol, refusing to accept it.

"Baek - I'm sorry." Chanyeol whispers, his hand reaching for Baekhyun's but the latter flinches.

"What for?" He fakes a laugh.

Chanyeol waits a second, studying Baekhyun's face. Baekhyun tries even harder to hide his emotions but he can't stop them from showing through his tone.

"I'm dating Kyungsoo now."

No. No. No. Don’t say it. It becomes real if you say it.

"I need to go." Baekhyun hates the way his voice falters and he can hear the tiny breath Kyungsoo in. What he would give to punch him, the one who managed to be what Baekhyun knows he'll never be. It's not fair.

Baekhyun stands up to swing his bag over his shoulder. He keeps his gaze down, eyes never meeting the other two pairs in fear that he'd just crack under them. He leaves, eyes stinging and chest burning. He ignores the cries of his name echoing from Chanyeol and he runs out of the library as soon as he knew he was out of their sight.

The I love you is lodged in his throat but he figures it's best for it to stay there.

Jongdae takes him out for drinks that night and they celebrate his birthday getting drunk and dancing on tables at a nearby club. Jongdae is a better friend than Chanyeol, Baekhyun thinks, but he can never fill the space in his heart that was always meant for Chanyeol.

//

He switches roommates a week after his birthday. When Chanyeol's at Kyungsoo's dorm, he takes the opportunity to pack his things up and leaves a note on the desk reminding Chanyeol to never forget to do the laundry every three days.

Yixing is an interesting roommate to have, Baekhyun finds after his first night at the Chinese student's dorm. He's clean and likes to have tea bags lined up in order of daily use on his desk rather than a pot of stationary and be offers to wash Baekhyun's laundry when he's about to go down and do his. Yixing is a dance major, friendly and outgoing but also quite shy at times.

Baekhyun finds himself warming up to Yixing immediately and he introduces him to Jongdae. The two hit it off really well, talking about music and dance and Jongdae suggests that Yixing should teach him how to dance some time, which Baekhyun finds extremely disturbing considering the look Jongdae had in his eyes while saying it.

"Can I ask you something?" Baekhyun looks up from his composition notes when Jongdae pokes him on the shoulder. He raises an eyebrow for the other to carry on. “Are you completely done with Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun nearly snorts, finding the question ridiculous - but it’s a good question nonetheless. “I don’t know.” He answers honestly. “I really don’t know.”

“Not just in the way you feel about him, but your friendship. Is it over?”

Truthfully, the questions have been floating around in his head ever since Chanyeol confirmed his relationship with Kyungsoo. He’s avoided them as discreetly as he could, trying to make sure they don’t cross paths. It’s definitely a hard thing to do when Kyungsoo’s in the same classes as him, even harder when Baekhyun tries to forget (but fails) that he and Chanyeol were best friends before that day. This is his way of mourning over his lost love and friendship; avoiding everything. It’s painful at first, but it gets easier as days go by. His worries lessen too.

Baekhyun hasn’t forced a smile in a long time, but it appears when he replies. “I guess it’s over.”

The discouraged look on Jongdae’s face tells him they both know it’s a lie.

//

Their second year flies by completely lost in time. Baekhyun’s now preparing for his third and final year at university, also preparing for the next stage in his life. He wants to become a singer, that he’s decided since the first day. Chanyeol’s always pushed him to go for it, but now he’s pushing himself and he’s really going for it.

“When we graduate, let’s audition for SM together.” Jongdae tells him in a firm voice. Baekhyun just laughs at the idea, shaking his head.

“They’ll give us hell, Jongdae.”

“So what! We’ll give them hell once they hear how amazing we are at singing!”

“I don’t know...do we even have the potential to be idols? We’re just singers.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes, scoffing at the frown on Baekhyun’s face. “Baek, please. We audition as vocalists, we get in, we train to dance and then sing and dance at the same time, we debut, we make it big time. We’re more than good enough.”

Baekhyun sighs. Idols are hard work - they sing until their voices break, but even then they’ll still be pushed to sing, they dance until their bones break, they lose hours of sleep practicing for their debut - that is if they even get to debut. Baekhyun’s done his research and as much as he admires idols for how hard they work, he doubts he could actually handle it.

He looks at Jongdae and wishes he could have the same determined gleam in his eyes too. “What if we don’t make it?”

Jongdae grins at him. “We’ll make it.”

“Your optimism is absolutely endearing.”

“What do you say, Baek?” his friend wiggles his eyebrows, which he laughs at because Jongdae’s eyebrows were sure pretty. “You and me - and Yixing! He could be our backup dancer.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes this time, smirking. “I’d be third-wheeling my way to our debut.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a maybe.”

Maybe it radiates from Jongdae, but suddenly hope itches at Baekhyun, crawling its way up his spine. Maybe they really will make it.

//

After four months of lessening contact, Chanyeol manages to corner him while he’s on the way to one of his classes. Chanyeol grabs his hand and pulls him from the stairway and into an empty hallway. Baekhyun barely has any time to register the situation until Chanyeol stops pulling him and he’s at a loss for words when Chanyeol blocks his escape by leaning both of his arms on the wall, trapping Baekhyun in from the sides.

“Chanyeol, what the are you doing.” He deadpans, eyes wide.

The expression painted on Chanyeol’s face is unreadable, but Baekhyun thinks he doesn’t recognise it because he hasn’t seen such a face in a long while. “You haven’t spoken to me in months, Baekhyun - months. I haven’t seen you since your birthday, you avoid me whenever you see me coming around the corner and you switched roommates without telling me!”

“I have a feeling this is an overdue confrontation...but I should really go to class -” Baekhyun tries to escape by ducking under Chanyeol’s arms, but the taller and much bigger man encases him in his hold, hugging Baekhyun in a bone-crushing embrace. His arms are limp beside him but his fingers itch to hold Chanyeol.

“Be serious with me, Baek. Please.” Chanyeol’s voice almost sounds pained but Baekhyun is strong enough to fight his urge to give in. “What’s happening to us?”

Baekhyun swallows. “Let me go, Chanyeol.”

“No. I won’t. We need to fix things.”

“What is there to fix?”

Chanyeol lets out a shaky laugh and Baekhyun closes his eyes, memorising the sound of it. “Us.”

A million thoughts fly in and out of his head, full of things he wants to say and hope for - but everything gets stuck in his throat along with the half-forgotten I love you and lingering farewell. He wants to walk away and go back to the way things were before Chanyeol appeared in his life again. He wants nothing more than to forget and move on, but in Chanyeol’s arms, it’s impossible to do any of it.

“You left me, Chanyeol.” He mutters, hushed and breathless. “You’re my best friend but you left me.”

He hears the taller inhale, about to say something but Baekhyun knows it’s now or never.

“I don’t know what’s happened to us, to be honest.” He leans his forehead and Chanyeol’s chest and closes his eyes tight, trying to gather up enough courage to let it all out. “Are we best friends anymore? Kyungsoo’s replaced me in your heart but Chanyeol, nobody will ever replace you in mine. I used to dream of a future with you, just us two. I don’t think that will happen any time soon.”

“But -”

“It’s better this way.”

Chanyeol slowly comes undone and he lets go of Baekhyun slowly, eyes focused on the ground while Baekhyun’s tries to find answers in his face. He gets none.

“You’re not wearing it.” is all Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow and follows the other’s gaze down to his wrist. “Wearing what?”

“The bracelet I gave you for Christmas.”

“That was years ago.” Baekhyun laughs and it almost sounds bitter. “I stopped wearing it when you told me you liked Kyungsoo but it looks like you only noticed now.”

Chanyeol’s forehead scrunches up in a way Baekhyun can’t comprend. “Why?”

Baekhyun lifts his hands up to cup the taller’s face, brushing the few strands of hair sticking to Chanyeol’s cheeks with his fingers. “You need a haircut.”

Chanyeol meets his eyes. Baekhyun wants to look away because Chanyeol’s gaze seems to have a weakening effect on him, but he can’t - he’ll always be trapped in those eyes, even if he gets away from Chanyeol himself.

“Why, Baek?”

A sigh escapes from him. There’s more to that question than Chanyeol lets on and Baekhyun knows it. Yet all he does is tiptoe, smiling a smile that feels less forced but is still forced, and a surge of confidence that is probably fifteen years too late jolts him. He brushes his lips along Chanyeol’s, and closes his eyes just as he sees the other shut his, and it’s a moment Baekhyun’s dreamt of for most of his life but it’s too good to be true, too broken to be the way it should be.

He kisses Chanyeol briefly and pulls away half a second later, as if it never even happened. He wraps a hand around his nape and brings his head down so their foreheads touch. He struggles to breathe, but it’s okay. Chanyeol will always leave him breathless, regardless of what they are, and he’ll always let him.

Kyungsoo, this moment is mine.“Because I love you and you know it, but you’ll never love me back.”

Baekhyun pulls away. He grabs his bag and anchors his gaze down to the floor in the attempt to seize reality. He’s just kissed his best friend (are they still best friends at this point?) who he’s loved for so long, who is also dating someone else, but he regrets none of it.

Chanyeol is left in the empty hallway with his heart on the floor and the ghost of Baekhyun’s lips tattooed onto his own.

He barely makes it back to his dorm room without crying, having to stop in the quad at the immediate flood breaking through his barriers. His heart has never hurt this much before and the pain throbs through his veins. He’s a sobbing mess when he tries to steady himself onto one of the benches outside of the dorm complex, completely ignoring a few stares from other students as they pass by. They give him no second glances and he’s glad.

Baekhyun doesn't hold back his tears anymore after keeping them locked in a safe somewhere deep inside for so long. Heartbreak feels like you’re bleeding from the inside out, from your ears and your eyes, coarse red trickling out of you until your heart runs out.

He curls up onto the bench, arm covering his face to hide how ugly he feels when he cries, and just lets it all out.

Chanyeol will never be his but he’ll always be Chanyeol’s and it’s not fair at all. If he could go back to when he first fell, he’d make sure to kick young Baekhyun where it hurts and tell him to stay away from feelings. Or maybe if he had the chance, he’d go back to when they first met and stop it all from happening.

Yixing is the one to find him half an hour later on his way to the dorm. He’s passing by when he hears the splutters and sobs that sound all too familiar to him and without second thoughts, he runs to where Baekhyun is.

(Sometimes Baekhyun cries himself to sleep into his pillow on some nights when he thinks Yixing is asleep, but Yixing pretends for his sake. He stays awake until Baekhyun’s cries die down and he’s asleep, reminding himself to talk to Jongdae about it.)

“Baekhyun.” He gasps, immediately lifting the other up into a sitting position. “Baek? What -”

“Yixing,” Baekhyun chokes through breathless sobs. “I - I have to go. I need to go.”

Yixing frantically searches his face, brushing Baekhyun’s hair from where they were plastered on his face by his tears. His eyes are swollen and red as if he had cried his eyes out raw. “Wait, we need to get you inside.” He helps Baekhyun onto his feet and with an arm around his waist, Yixing walks him inside the building.

When they make it into their dorm room, Yixing lays him down on his bed and Baekhyun stares up at the ceiling with blank, glassy eyes. “I’ll call Jongdae.”

“Yixing, what the happened?” Jongdae’s eyes are distressed upon seeing a zombified Baekhyun lying on his bed, so pale and vacant in his expression.

“I don’t know,” Yixing lets him in, “I found him crying out in the quad and it was really bad. Something happened with Chanyeol - nobody can ever make him cry as hard as that - but he hasn’t said a word since I brought him in.”

Jongdae makes his way to Baekhyun’s bed and carefully sits on the edge of it, eyes never leaving the frozen figure. “Byun Baek. What are you doing crying like a girl?” He says softly, meaning well.

“I’ll go and make him some tea.” Yixing whispers. Jongdae turns to him and nods with a smile, grateful for Yixing’s understanding.

“Talk to me.” He says once the door closes. “Tell me everything.”

Baekhyun doesn’t reply.

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae presses, hand reaching out to squeeze the lifeless limb on the bed. “Please. Talk to me.”

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun croaks, throat dry and voice breaking. “I told him I love him and I left him. It hurts. It really hurts. Why did I do that?”

“Oh, Baekhyun…” The other frowns before lying on his side beside his friend. He faces Baekhyun while Baekhyun is still focused on the ceiling, wrapping an arm around the latter’s waist with a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

“He didn’t chase after me. I actually hoped he would.”

“If he had done that, you would have lost yourself to him completely.”

Baekhyun laughs, but it’s not whole at all. “Too late.”

Jongdae nuzzles his neck and he feels Baekhyun let out a small sigh. “I know it hurts now, but you did it, right? You told him the truth and now he knows.”

“Now it’s ruined. It’s all ruined…”

“The pain will go away, you have to let it pass. It's not the end.”

“I wish it was.”

Yixing returns with a cup of steaming tea in hand. He places it on Baekhyun’s desk and sits on the floor, forehead creasing with concern. Jongdae turns his head slightly to give him a thankful look and he unwinds his arm from Baekhyun’s waist. Yixing instinctively reaches out of Jongdae’s hand, their fingers locked together. Jongdae takes Baekhyun’s hand in the other and he holds both Yixing and Baekhyun’s on his chest.

Baekhyun is cold, but the gesture feeds him enough warmth for colour to return to his skin. He finds his fingers gripping tightly onto Jongdae’s, needing the anchor to hold him back down to earth.

“You’re brave, Byun Baek, for finally doing what you couldn’t do years and months ago. Maybe it really is time to let him go.”

//

The next day, Baekhyun wakes up with a throbbing headache and a face so swollen, opening his eyes was almost impossible.

He cracks an eye open and sees Jongdae on Yixing’s bed opposite his, sleeping soundly with the latter behind him, an arm gripping onto Jongdae’s shirt. Baekhyun manages to smile at the sight but remembers the events from the day before.

He feels stupid, he must admit, for crying. But this is his first heartbreak, what else can he do? It hurts like a knife has sliced into his very veins, cutting him open until he bleeds his love out. It's one big painful punch to the face, loving Chanyeol, and Baekhyun really can't help but just bruise with every breath.

Quietly, he tiptoes his way out of bed and into the bathroom, attempting to ignore the hideous outcome of crying all night long. He goes through his normal routine of freshening up, but he feels as if there’s a layer of dirt on his face from yesterday and no matter how many times he splashes it with cold water, it doesn’t go away. His bones ache as he brushes his teeth and the monotonous feeling of the routine seeps in. He takes a shower and gets dressed, slowly but with impatience. He just wants to get out but at the same time, he dreads it.

Today is black, white and grey for Baekhyun. Even the flowers in the quad that were once yellow and blooming with red could not colour the blanks in for Baekhyun as he makes his way out of the building. He skips classes that day and instead chooses to hide in the library for a good, quiet seven hours.

It surprises him when Kyungsoo walks in and takes the seat next to him, dropping his books with quiet thuds onto the table. Baekhyun refuses to look up at the man, but it doesn’t stop his nostrils from flaring in anger or the fluster of red surfacing onto his cheeks.

“Before you think bad things about me rather than saying them out loud,” Kyungsoo sighs, “you should know that Chanyeol’s a mess.”

Baekhyun grits his teeth. “I don’t care.”

“Yes you do.”

“Shut up.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and frowns deeply. “This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so stubborn.”

“You know nothing.”

Kyungsoo laughs incredulously and the sound really boils Baekhyun’s blood. How dare he. “I know it all, remember? I was there before Jongdae was.”

Baekhyun hates how right he is, having long-forgotten that Kyungsoo was once his friend too.

“I know that you love Chanyeol and that you’ll never stop.”

“Go away.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says through a breath, voice pleading. “I’m sorry.”

He takes one good look at Kyungsoo for once, but only once. His lips are pressed into a tight line and he just wants to go back to his dorm and cry all over again. No you’re not sorry. “I wish I was, too.”

Baekhyun gets up and leaves. Kyungsoo doesn’t call out for him.

//

The scars on Baekhyun’s heart takes time to heal. He spends the next few months up until his graduation in intensive care, throwing himself into his work and performances to distract himself. He agrees to Jongdae’s promise of auditioning for SM Entertainment after graduation and makes sure he studies hard to finish his studies so he could finally live his dream. He fakes smiles and laughter to cover up the fact he's bound to break that promise one day.

There is one thing missing from his life, but he refuses to acknowledge it and care. He’s done with Chanyeol, with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, and the whole ordeal of unrequited feelings and a long-lost friendship. He only has Jongdae and Yixing now, but he knows it’s more than enough and he’ll eternally be grateful for their presence in his life.

A month before graduation, Baekhyun makes the biggest decision of his life so far. He already knows how Yixing and Jongdae would react to him calling up his parents asking to borrow a large sum of money, so he decides it in secret. His mother berates him for asking for a sum way larger than his monthly allowance, but she gives it to him anyway after he promises to pay her back as soon as possible. It helps that he’s about to graduate, so he uses the excuse of a planned getaway trip with his friends to speed up the borrowing process. She doesn’t have to know it’ll just be him. Nobody does, yet.

He books a last-minute flight to Japan one night and pays the fee for one-way immediately. It’s a country he has no knowledge of - he doesn’t even know any Japanese - but it’s a country that’s far from Chanyeol, yet not too far away from home.

(He mentally hits himself for every time he puts Chanyeol and home together because it seems as if he can’t have one without the other.)

He does it without thinking, really, but just instinct and the single desire to get away from everything. He feels rather numb at the thought of graduating without Chanyeol by his side. It’s been a dream of his, but then Kyungsoo had to happen.

Baekhyun thinks that if there’s one thing he’s good at apart from singing, it’s running away.

//

Jongdae inevitably finds out the night before their graduation day. It’s not unusual to have packed bags and everything you brought with you to university sitting in the corner of your dorm room, but it is unusual when there’s a printed plane ticket on top of his silver suitcase.

“Are you going to tell me what this is or should I look through your internet history to find out?” Jongdae frowns. His tone isn’t angry but Baekhyun feels the fumes of frustration radiating from him.

Baekhyun shrugs as nonchalantly as he could. “I cleared my history anyway. Sorry, Jongdae, but you’re not getting any answers from me this time.”

“Are you out of your mind, Baek?” Jongdae yells. “You’re seriously running away to - where are you going?”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “Anywhere away from here.”

“Don’t do it.” His friend’s voice is seething, anger hissing from his clenched teeth. “I know you think you can’t fix things between you and Chanyeol, maybe you can’t - but please, don’t. do. it.”

“Jongdae, I have to.”

Jongdae lets out an incredulous laugh and Baekhyun winces. He can feel an argument looming over them, but he can’t deal with it right now. He has to finish his university life by getting his diploma tomorrow, but not before remembering to book a taxi to take him to the airport for straight after, and then he has to tell his parents he loves them before leaving. Everything is planned out in his head already, right down to the last detail. He has to ignore and avoid Chanyeol (effectively Kyungsoo too) for just one more day, and then he’ll be gone.

“Don’t be a coward, Byun Baekhyun. You are not that type of man.” Jongdae’s voice is pleading and worry seeps into the crevices of his words. Baekhyun ignores it all.

“This is our last night together, don’t you think we should be celebrating the beginning of our lives now?” He murmurs, grabbing the plane ticket from his suitcase and placing it in his carry-on bag ready for tomorrow.

Jongdae shakes his head and turns around, unable to face his best friend. “I’m going to regret this but I refuse. You want to fix things but this is not the right way to do it.”

“Jongdae…” Baekhyun whispers, “Please let me go.”

“What about us, hm?” the other hisses, running his hand through his hair. “You promised me and Yixing you’d audition for SM with us. You promised you’d go through it with me. What about me, Baek? Are you going to leave me?”

The I have to is stuck in his throat as his heart drops at his friend’s words, all the air in his lungs flooding out because he can’t take the pressure Jongdae’s putting on him - almost playing the guilt card. Baekhyun slouches in defeat on his bed, unable to reply.

Jongdae’s voice softens, eyes gleaming with what looks to be tears but he shakes his head and swallows them back. “Look. I’m just. I’m finding it very hard to let you go right now because you’re my best friend, Baek. Whether I’m yours or not because of Chanyeol, you’ll always be mine. I’ve been there for you like you’ve been there for me and if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have met Yixing. I’m sorry that I’m stopping you from leaving and that I’m absolutely against you running away, but I don’t think I’ll be able to change your mind. Are you really going to do this?”

“My heart is telling me to go.” Baekhyun’s breath returns to him but it’s not a long while before the pressurising thoughts suffocate him once more. Jongdae’s words make him feel queasy all of a sudden, and a part of him is beginning to have second thoughts.

But Baekhyun has something to prove to Chanyeol, his friends and family, and most importantly - himself, that he can be Baekhyun without Chanyeol and still shine on his own. It’s not much to others but to Baekhyun, it’s everything. He needs to do this.

“Then I won’t say anything more on the matter. I still think you’re making a big mistake and as a friend, I’m pointing it out to you.” Jongdae eyes him, lips slowly curling into a solemn smile. “But you’re going no matter what I say, right?”

Baekhyun laughs half-heartedly. “You know me too well, Jongdae.”

Jongdae then rushes over to him with arms wide open and head lowered to hide his eyes under his hair. Baekhyun pretends he’s not crying and that he himself isn’t on the verge of crying. Jongdae wraps his arms around his tense body until his nerves die down and he relaxes a little into the embrace. Leaning his forehead on Baekhyun’s shoulder, Jongdae starts sniffling. Baekhyun dies on the inside, wishing for the moment to be over soon.

“Thank you for being my friend. And for leaving me the greatest gift - Yixing. I hope that wherever you go and where your heart takes you, you’ll be alright. I hope your heart heals in time and that when you return - you are returning, Byun Baekhyun - you’ll be as good as new. I love you, you loser.” Jongdae whispers, his voice breaking with every word. He doesn’t let go until moments later when Baekhyun pulls him away at arm’s length to get a good look at his friend.

Baekhyun tries to smile, wiping Jongdae’s face free of tears with his thumb. “You’re the best, Kim Jongdae.”

And he means it.

Yixing finds out the next day at their graduation ceremony. It’s a mixture of tears and incoherent slurs that Baekhyun thinks sounds a lot like Mandarin and he has no clue what the man is saying - but Jongdae is there comforting him with matching tears in his own eyes. It’s when they’re both hugging and pulling him into the hug as their beloved third wheel, that he feels grateful for both of their presence in his life. Maybe all along all he needed were friends like Yixing and Jongdae rather than Chanyeol.

Baekhyun doesn’t look for Chanyeol or Kyungsoo at the ceremony. As well as being completely afraid to meet their eyes, he felt that seeing them would make his resolve to leave crumble.

Instead, he quietly tells Jongdae that he’s going up to the dorm to grab his stuff ready to leave in a little while. Jongdae, reluctant to leave him until the very last minute, refuses to listen to Baekhyun’s protests of no I’m okay, I’ll do it on my own and joins him after whispering something to Yixing. Yixing waves a tiny see you later at them both, eyes never leaving Jongdae’s.

//

“Are you sure about this, Baek?” A very concerned Jongdae stands in Baekhyun’s narrow doorway, effectively stalling him from making his way out.

Baekhyun tries hard not to roll his eyes as he picks up his black duffel bag and slings it over his shoulder. He sighs, firmly looking into Jongdae’s eyes. Glints of worry reflect back at him, but he has no time to deal with it. He’s starting to feel pressed for time and having Jongdae as an obstacle isn’t really helping right now. “I’m very, very, very sure now will you please get out of my way?”

Jongdae hesitates, biting his lip in uncertainty. “Remember what I said. You’ll never regret anything as much as you’ll regret this. Please just stop and think -”

“I’m done thinking.” Baekhyun says, struggling to keep his voice steady. “I’ve thought about this for so long and I’ve only just had the courage to pack up my things. A part of me...already regrets it but it’s for the best.”

Jongdae sighs in defeat. He steps back from the doorway, gesturing Baekhyun his way to freedom but not before pulling him into a brief, tight hug. Baekhyun can feel the tears prickling his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. Not right now, anyway. Jongdae breaks them apart to give him a wide grin. “I have to go down and fetch Yixing, so I can’t hang around. I want to send you to the airport but my parents are taking us home soon...I - I guess this is goodbye, Baek.”

Baekhyun replies with a smile, hand reaching out for the other’s. He squeezes it once for hope, twice for reassurance, and thrice for thanks. “I love you, Jongdae. You’ll be Korea’s greatest singer and with the best dancer by your side, too.”

Jongdae nods, fighting the tears that were about to hit him. “Let me know where you are when you get there. Keep in touch, okay? We won’t tell anyone, promise.”

In the seconds that Baekhyun doesn’t reply, he silently thanks Jongdae for everything he’s ever done for him. Jongdae is a light in Baekhyun’s life that he wouldn’t ever want to lose, but now he’s the one doing the walking away and Jongdae is the one helping him, despite the man’s protests. Baekhyun will forever be grateful.

“Don’t worry about me, Jongdae. This isn’t goodbye.” He smiles widely, as if it were enough to make it all better. “I’ll come back soon - just you wait.”

He pulls away from his friend entirely and starts making his way down the stairs. He doesn’t look back. Jongdae watches him leave but his hand reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone.

“Yixing?” He whispers into the receiver, careful not to let Baekhyun hear in the echoes of the walls. He swallows. “He’s leaving. Tell...Tell Chanyeol. Tell him not to let him go.”

The trip to the airport is silent but serene. Baekhyun has his earphones in, his workout playlist set on loop instead of his usual one because he’s afraid of sad songs and there wasn’t enough time to get rid of them earlier. He doesn’t want to start crying again. That will only make him hold back.

It’ll all be okay, he thinks to himself as he pulls his luggage out of the cab’s trunk and drags them to the pavement. He throws the driver a fleeting smile while he hands the money over and before his heart could betray him, he slams the door shut and reminds himself there’s no more escaping. His flight leaves in two hours, one-way bound to somewhere Baekhyun doesn’t really care about. If it takes him anywhere away from his own homeland for now, he’s fine with it. There’s too much to leave behind and he wants to do it without anything dragging him down.

In his hand, his phone vibrates. Baekhyun declines the call without looking at the screen. He does this for the next four calls that come and only on the fifth one does he sigh in frustration, giving in. He gulps when he sees who it is and his finger hovers over the answer button. Three seconds pass until he has the courage to say hello into the receiver.

“I can’t believe I had to find out about you leaving from Jongdae. Am I not important enoguh for you? Baekhyun, don’t leave. Please don’t get on that plane and leave.” A voice chokes up on the last word and Baekhyun’s heart clenches.

Hang up. You can’t do this right now, Baekhyun. Hang up and go. This is what you wanted.

He doesn’t listen to himself this time. “Chanyeol.” He breathes a sigh of both relief and annoyance. “I can’t…”

He hears shuffling and loud clutter somewhere on the other end and he fights with himself to hang up. He doesn’t. “Don’t get on that plane just yet and wait for me, okay?”

Okay. “No.” Clenching his teeth, Baekhyun tries to exhale his nerves away. “I’m always waiting for you. Not this time, Chanyeol. I -”

“Please don’t leave. I’m not losing you.”

You already have. A bitter smile creeps onto his lips. His heart burns with yearning and desire but if he gives in now, he’ll always be tied down to wishful thinking.

He simply won’t allow it anymore. “I love you.” He mutters almost silently into the phone before hanging up. He switches his phone off and shoves it into one of his luggage’s pockets. He doesn’t have time for useless I knows anymore.

The automatic doors of the airport welcome him and without hesitation, he walks in until he’s away from the exit before second thoughts claw at him again.

Yixing has a hard time sitting still in the back of Jongdae’s parents’ car. He has his hand shaking in Jongdae’s as the other grips it tight. They’re both nervous, hoping and wishing for the best.

“What if he doesn’t make it, Jongdae? Oh god - what if he gets the wrong terminal or something. What if he gets run over by a taxi before he -”

“Yixing, please shut up. He’ll get there on time. Chanyeol will save him.” Jongdae mutters, the last part whispered under his breath as a way to reassure himself.

“You promised Baekhyun you wouldn’t tell.” Yixing says. “Why did you tell Chanyeol?”

“It felt like it was the right thing to do.”

“You’re amazing.” Yixing smiles and leans forward to give him a small kiss on the cheek. “Do you think they’ll be okay?”

Jongdae doesn’t reply, instead choosing to squeeze Yixing’s hand. He can only hope.

Baekhyun struggles to breathe by the time he runs to the terminal. He spent a good five minutes mentally freaking out about the phone call with Chanyeol before starting to feel the pressure and nerves, eventually causing him to rush around the airport in the attempt to calm down.

It’s not such an ideal thing to be stuck in this situation and not be able to escape until your flight’s gates open, which in Baekhyun’s case isn’t for another hour and a half. If Chanyeol’s on his way, what is he going to do? He could hide, it wouldn’t be so hard, but Chanyeol would find a way to get to him. And what about Kyungsoo? Baekhyun finds himself thinking about Kyungsoo at the worst possible times and he really can’t think about one without the other. His mind is poisoned with thoughts of the two of them together, thoughts he hasn’t really revisited in a long time. It’s only torturous that they come back to him now.

He remembers Jongdae and how Chanyeol found out about him leaving and wanting to strangle his friend is another burden to add onto his plate - after he promised!

He fishes for his phone again, wincing at the missed calls and unread texts from Chanyeol and his mother but ignoring them as he calls Jongdae.

Jongdae picks up on the third ring. “Oooh, hey, Baek! Um, I know you’re probably angry -”

“Jongdae.” Baekhyun breathes though his nose, teeth clenched. “Why why why why why why why why why why on earth did you tell Chanyeol?”

“Because it’s not right for you to just leave like that!”

“I didn’t want him to know. He called me and told me not to go - he’s trying to stop me and you know a part of me will let him.” His voice seethes through the phone, fingers whitening as he clenches them around the device. His cheeks burn with anger and humiliation.

On the other side, Jongdae sighs. “Baek, that’s the whole point.”

“You shouldn’t have told him.”

“You shouldn’t be leaving.”

“I have no choice!” Baekhyun yells, forgetting his place. Onlookers turn to him with curious and slightly frightened eyes but he ignores them. “I’ve ruined it all by liking him then Kyungsoo had to come along and destroy everything.”

“Yes you do! There are infinite choices and possibilities laid out in front of you but you're blind to them all. You’re only making things worse by going away.”

“It’s supposed to make things better -”

“What are you going to do when you realise you can’t live without having Chanyeol in at least a hundred-mile radius from you?” Jongdae cuts him off. “When he gets there, don’t run away. Stop dragging this on and fix things.”

He hangs up, leaving Baekhyun speechless and still angry.

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he’s about to flip his lid at the entire world because how the am I going to deal with this right now?! He runs a tired hand through his hair, pulling at the strands and shaking his head. He turns, ready to shout at the person behind him and possibly start swearing at how terrible (but not really) his life is but -

“I have something to tell you.”

- his words, breath and thoughts leave him in that single second because ing Do Kyungsoo is standing in front of him with his hair mussed up and cheeks tinged pink. His shoulders move quickly and his mouth parts in hopes of breathing better - did he run a marathon or something?, Baekhyun asks himself.

“What the hell are you doing here.” Baekhyun says through gritted teeth.

Kyungsoo holds both hands up and almost flinches slightly, expecting the other to hit him. When Baekhyun doesn’t, he relaxes a little but shuffles his feet a step backwards. “Listen to me before you kill me, okay? It’s about Chanyeol -”

“Then shut up and leave because I don’t want to hear it.”

“You're such a !” Kyungsoo shouts at him then remembering they were amongst the public, looks around apologetically and lowers his voice. “I know that if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in this mess - but you made it worse for yourself with delusions that Chanyeol is in love with me."

Baekhyun raises surprised eyebrows, eye twitching at his words. He feels a small pang in his chest but he ignores it. "He is though, isn't he? He has been for a long time." Then he adds, very bitterly, "He didn't fail to remind me."

Kyungsoo scoffs, laughing almost maniacally. "When he first confessed, he told me he liked me and I felt his sincerity. When we started dating, he told me he loved me and I could have believed him - but I didn't."

"Is there a point to this or not."

"Shut up and listen." Kyungsoo scolds him. Baekhyun rolls his eyes in annoyance. "I didn't believe him because it lacked the sincerity from the first time and I wondered what went wrong. I think he wanted to mean those words but I knew - we both did - that he didn't really have it in his heart to love me. I realised when you guys stopped talking that his words were completely heartless and surprisingly, none of it hurt. He loves you, Baekhyun. He's in love with you. He just didn't realise it when he should have."

Baekhyun, rendered speechless, wants to crawl into a ball on the ground and just roll away. His hands are clenched into fists beside him, knuckles whitening in the numbing pain of Kyungsoo's speech. That's not true, he thinks. His heart twinges in pain, disagreeing with his thoughts, but his mind rages with words of false security and broken promises and it's all too much for both his head and heart to handle. He stares at Kyungsoo long and hard, wishing to wake up from a dream. Baekhyun has never both loved and hated reality as much as this.

Kyungsoo exhales a deep breath and steps forward to place his hands on Baekhyun's shoulders, anchoring him. Thoughts of running away are willed out and he finally feels the urge to run away slip from his desires. "Baekhyun, trust me on this, please. You've loved Chanyeol all your life and maybe the same can't be said for him...but it takes time for someone to feel and admit that they're in love. I'm sorry that I'm the one who slowed everything down. If Junmyeon's party hadn't happened, maybe Chanyeol wouldn't have gone for me. I confess that I'm the one obstacle that broke you, but this is why I'm here right now. To fix things."

Baekhyun blinks repeatedly, ghosts of tears lining up for their departure, now wishing and hoping that none of this is a dream. Kyungsoo slowly peels away from him, an uncertain expression on his face. Baekhyun doesn't move, afraid that everything around him would wither away. Kyungsoo waits for him to respond and it takes him almost ten minutes to show a reaction.

His throat is dry when he opens his mouth. "Where's Chanyeol?" he asks and the other man breathes out a long sigh of relief, face relaxing into contentedness.

"He was on his way to your terminal when he heard."

"You didn't come here with him?"

Kyungsoo sakes his head, a smile playing with the edges of his lips. "I wanted to beat him to it."

Baekhyun softens at the sight of a shy Kyungsoo playing with the hem of his shirt, wondering what could have happened to their friendship if Chanyeol's crush on Kyungsoo had never happened. He's never felt this disappointed in himself before, for letting him ruin things. "I'm sorry, Kyungsoo. For everything."

When Kyungsoo awkwardly comes forward for a brief hug, Baekhyun knows he's finally done something right. 

"You're forgiven," The smaller man mumbles into his shoulder. "I'm sorry too. He really loves you, you know."

Baekhyun smiles, heart warming at the thought. "I know."

He meets Chanyeol at the gates of Terminal Four, the man's hand frantically running through his already-dishevelled hair. Baekhyun is hesitant to approach, the fingers of one hand playing nervously with the buttons on his jacket and the others gripping his carry-on tighter than ever.

Chanyeol's eyes are wide and almost bulging out of their sockets. They anxiously search for what Baekhyun expects to be him and he smiles sheepishly when Chanyeol finally turns and catches Baekhyun from the corner of his eye. No words are spoken when Chanyeol runs to him, almost crushing him in the impact of his embrace as he takes Baekhyun in his arms and holds him with the promise of never letting go. 

Baekhyun feels the barriers in his heart crash down and tears spill from his eyes though the smile on his face is full of relief and empty of the heartbreak he felt earlier. Chanyeol doesn't pull away even five minutes later and it's all silent save for their heavy breathing. He thinks he hears Chanyeol's breaths stutter and the heart vibrating against his own chest beats fast.

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun murmurs, fingers entwining themselves deeper into the back of Chanyeol's shirt. They still don't pull away. "Chanyeol."

"I am so sorry, Baek. I'm so, so sorry." Chanyeol whispers into his neck. It leaves a ticklish imprint and Baekhyun shudders slightly. "I'm sorry -"

"Stop apologising," Baekhyun is the one to pull away and he finds himself almost in the same position as when Chanyeol had cornered him the last time they spoke. His hands went up to cup Chanyeol's face and he held it gently, like precious treasure. The only difference from that day is that now, it isn't a goodbye. This is a hello, in Baekhyun and Chanyeol's own way. "Just shut up." He breathes slowly, inching his face closer at the same time Chanyeol leans his down a little. Their foreheads touch and Baekhyun is left breathless as Chanyeol closes his eyes and nuzzles their noses together.

"I'm sorry it took me so long." Chanyeol's lips ghost over his and Baekhyun yearns, he yearns so much for their lips to finally touch again and claim the electricity that's rightfully theirs.

Baekhyun shakes his head slightly, eyes staring at Chanyeol's closed ones. He can see glimmers of wet skin surrounding them. "You're here now and that's all that matters."

Chanyeol's eyes open and they meet with his best friend's. Lost in their favourite world, a world of their own, they stare deep into each other and Baekhyun's heart pounds at the sight of it all. There's infinite skies in Chanyeol's eyes, filled with his dreams and future, and Baekhyun wants to so badly be in there with them too.

"I love you. I always will." 

Baekhyun takes the next step forward and finally puts his yearning to use. Their lips touch ever so slightly until Chanyeol's reaching for more, his large hands roaming around on Baekhyun's back in an attempt to have him closer - anything to have him in his arms, close and exactly where he belongs with the desire to never let him go again. Their lips burn at the touch and the electricity between them flies up and down their bodies, shocking them deeper and deeper into love.

Baekhyun is once again left breathless when their lips pull away from each other. "I always have."

//

"I can't believe that bastard is late for his own ing recording."

Yixing consoles his boyfriend with a hand palming comforting circles onto his back. "That's thirty won in the swear jar and a kiss on the lips, Jongdae." 

Jongdae sighs in defeat, pacing his way over to Yixing with scrunched up eyebrows that disappear as soon as he reaches he man. He plants a soft kiss on Yixing's lips and the latter holds out a half-filled jar decorated with notes on the sides and coins littering the base. Jongdae fumbles in his pocket for money, cursing himself in his head (he's running out of change so he can't risk it anymore). 

Baekhyun walks in minutes later after Yixing starts making out with Jongdae in the attempt to distract him from swearing even further and his eyebrows shoot up as he rolls his eyes in mock disgust. "If you guys get jiggy during my practice time, I will hurt you."

Jongdae pulls away fiercely, eyes piercing straight at Baekhyun while the latter whistles as he studies the sheets in his hands. "You motherfu-"

"It'll cost you ten more won if you finish that sentence of yours, Jongdae." Yixing points out from where he's sat, an amusing smile on his lips. Jongdae manages to compose himself seconds later and Baekhyun fails to hide his laughter.

"Wow, that's a terrible habit you've developed." 

Jongdae throws more sheets at Baekhyun. "You are the bane of my existence, Byun Baekhyun."

Baekhyun cackles as he grabs a bottle of water from the desk beside Yixing, throwing him face because he thinks his best friend's antics must really be something for Yixing. "I love you, Jongdae." 

"Our comeback is in three weeks, so let's just practice okay? We have to be perfect."

"Yeah, yeah, give me a few minutes to recover from the awesome ten minute makeout I've just come from." Jongdae's mouth drops and Baekhyun can't help but laugh at his friend some more. In the corner, Yixing giggles behind his arms. "Chanyeol wants to break our thirty-minute record without coming up for air but my lungs need to be preserved for this gig, you know?"

"No." Jongdae grimances. "I don't particularly want to know."

Baekhyun ignores him. "When is Kyungsoo getting here?"

Yixing gets up from his chair and wraps an arm around Jongdae's waist, chin resting on the man's shoulder. "Jongin's a late riser."

Scoffing, Baekhyun hides a smile. "They must have spent the night warming up Soo's vocals and Jongin's body, huh."

Jongdae mentally facepalms. "We're almost twenty-six but we act like erted young kids. Oh where did it all go wrong."

Chanyeol comes by the studio the vocalists practiced in at five-thirty, sitting outside the booth with eyes trained on Baekhyun as he belts out the high-notes with his whole stomach, lungs and heart. Chanyeol watches, admires and applauses at the end when the track finishes, catching Baekhyun off guard.

"Did you bring donuts?" Baekhyun mouths while putting his headphones on the stand. Laughing, Chanyeol nodded towards the studio door. "Your favourite."

Baekhyun wastes no time in rushing out of the soundproof booth and he grabs Chanyeol's hand on the way out of the door.

"es, move out of the way!" He yells to Jongdae, Yixing, Kyungsoo and Jongin. (The last two had arrived an hour and a half after their planned meeting time for practice, but no one had asked why when Kyungsoo had come in with flushed cheeks and Jongin had followed with his shirt buttoned wrong.)

Baekhyun makes a run for the donuts, immediately devouring the chocolate iced one with sprinkles. Chanyeol sits him down in his lap after taking a seat next to a sleepy Yixing. He kisses the mess on Baekhyun's lips off as the latter moans in pleasure at all the sugar, dough and loveliness packed in a single donut. Baekhyun squirms at his kisses but makes no attempt to move. He enjoys it anyway.

Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun's donut-less hand and he entwines their fingers together, keeping them snug on his lap. He plants a kiss on Baekhyun's neck, ignoring the cries of get a room! from their friends, and Baekhyun smiles sheepishly at the sparks that never fail to come with his other half's touches. 

Once Baekhyun's finished his donut, he turns to Chanyeol with a warm smile. "Hey," he says.

"Hey, love." Chanyeol kisses his cheek. 

"Thanks for the donut." They both laugh.

"Look, I know you love donuts but can you eat them in a way that doesn't make me question your love for me?"

Baekhyun giggles, leaning his head down slightly so their foreheads could touch. "Donuts have nothing on you, don't worry."

Chanyeol grins, lips reaching up to find Baekhyun's and smiles fill the space in between their shallow breaths. "I love you."

(This is Baekhyun and Chanyeol, twenty years away from the day they first met in kindergarten.)

"I know." Baekhyun exhales and the other inhales his sweet breath. 

There are no more miserable I knows after those precious three words. 

And Baekhyun has never been more glad to be in love with his best friend. "I love you too, Yeol."

i just really love baekyeol ;A; 

i've started writing my next fanfic and it'll be a chaptered fic! the main pairing will be hunhan~ please anticipate yehet 

this has been one cliche fanfic. but i love cliches. and baekyeol. thank you for reading! ♥