Story: Back to School, Kim Joonmyun
Author: misslovergirl360
Status: Chapters 1-19 (on-going)
Characters: Kim Joonmyun, Wu Ting Yi (OC), EXO
Rated?: No
Foreword: 

Fake, fake, fake...

That was what Kim Joon Myun was.

He was controlled by his parents, born in a rich and high-class family, what would you expect?

He was taught to be cold and to be just like his father. What could he do?

Nothing.

Title – I found the title very catchy—maybe because a lot of authors and writers can come up with such but does not use it because they think that it’s too mainstream when it’s not. I liked it, really. To be honest, I have like four stories to be reviewed and this one’s on the third slot but I prioritized this one because the title just caught my attention.

Foreword – Your foreword/description focuses on introducing Joonmyun. It’s fine but the thing is, it’s too wordy and there’s so many details and information given even when the reader just started reading the story. I suggest you work more on a concise story prologue rather than a character’s introduction because doing the latter will cause the readers to expect the ‘expected’ rather than expecting the unexpected.

Plot – I can’t quite find the exact plot yet. Too many details with regards to the friendship, we can’t focus on the bottom line. But it’s okay, though. If that’s how you write, then it’s good to go. It’s always the author’s technique on how will she be able to execute her story. No worries on this one! ♡

Character Development – I noticed how evident the development is. On Joonmyun alone, it has been presented very well. I actually didn’t see it coming but that’s a good thing!

Grammar – There are quite a number of grammatical errors on the story. For example, the word angry has its comparative form. Thus, the use of the word ‘more’ isn’t necessary. It should be angrier. And, the words ‘plus’ and ‘and’ both signifies an addition; they’re referred to as sentence connectors. So combining them is also not needed.

“…thinking it would impress my father and plus, it would come into handy when…” You should remove either of the two connectors since it causes redundancy in your sentence. And the phrase I underlined is confusing. It’s supposed to be ‘it would come in handy when…’ not into. Handy = Useful. Before using a not so cliché word, first keep in mind its easily recognized synonym and form a sentence with it. If it sounds weird then it’s wrong.

“it would come into useful when…” pretty off, right? Now check this one out:

“it would come in useful when…” sounds better, yes?

And lastly, although it has got nothing to do with grammar, please refrain from using too much commas, heh. Oh and plain rankings are not equal to percentile rankings. o/

Originality – Personally speaking, I didn’t quite find it too original since there are stories that are similar with this one but then again, it’s okay! We all have the freedom to write what we want to and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Personal Enjoyment – It was so-so. I think you’re such an artistic writer at the young age of fourteen. Keep up the good work, okay? I know you’ll be one of the most popular writers out there. Just give it some time. Lotsa love! ♡

© Rightful credits basically goes to the shop and to the assigned reviewer ¦ -kaisoo ¦ 2014