I’m falling in love

Do you know

I think about you everyday

I want to be with you

 

The school bell went off when I was still running to the gate with all my might.

“Hold up!” I shouted to the girl who was closing the gate from two meters away.

She looked at me for a moment but continued shutting the gate the next. I finally reached the gate.

“Hey, open up please?”

“You’re late.”

“Only for a minute. Please?” I panted.

“Late for a minute is still considered as late. What’s your name?”

“Can’t you just let it pass this time round? There wouldn’t be a next, I promise.”

“If there’s once, there’s twice. Give me your name.”

I cursed under my breath.

“Meng Jia.”

“Class?”

“4-B.” I answered her with a tinge of annoyance, hoping she would catch it. “Can I go in now?”

The girl finished scribbling on her notebook and opened the gate.

“Don’t be late next time.”

“Thanks for your concern. Have a nice day, prefect.” I said, emphasizing the last word on purpose before walking off to class.

 

****

 

At some point of time you have become my everything

And I can’t live a day without you

 

“Oh, it’s you. You’re late again.”

“Well, I tried my best. Can’t help it if I stay in Gwangju right?”

“Meng Jia from class 4-B right?” She started scribbling on her notebook like she did a few days before.

“You have superb memory. Very good.” I said sarcastically.

“Thank you for the compliment.” She answered innocently and smiled.

That’s a very beautiful smile, I thought to myself. Wait, what did I just say?

She opened the door and I quickly walked off.

“Jia-ssi!”

I heard the girl calling me. I turned behind and saw her running to me.

“We can walk up together. I’m from class 4-A.”

“Great information but pretty sure I did not ask for that.”

“Oh… Uh…”

She went quiet afterwards and I started feeling bad. It wasn’t even common for me to feel bad for someone else besides my close friends. Why am I being like this?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s okay.” She gave the same angelic smile that she gave at the gate a few minutes ago. “I understand why you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” I said as a matter-of-factly.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” I reassured her. “You’re a stubborn little girl, aren’t you?”

“I’m not little. Since we’re of the same level, I suppose we are of the same age?”

“Pretty sure we are not. If you noticed from that notebook of yours, I’m not Korean.”

“And so…?”

“And so I have to attend a different class due to my level of Korean.”

“You speak good for a Chinese.”

“Why thank you. If only you were the principal.”

She laughed at my joke and I have to say, her laughter is melodious. We soon reached our classrooms.

“Bye Jia-ssi. It was nice talking to you. Have fun in your class.”

She quickly walked into the first classroom before I had to the chance to reply. I sighed and walked to the next one, dreading of what the teacher was going to “greet” me with because of my lateness again.

 

****

 

I know, nothing lasts forever
But I want to believe we won’t change
If you like me, if you love me
Let me know, tell me please baby
I’ll only think about you

 

I was waiting for a bus to go back home when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“Are you a parasite? Why are you everywhere?”

“Sorry… I’ll leave you alone if you want.” She said dejectedly.

“I’m joking. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just thought we can go back home together. If you’re alone that is.”

“No one lives so far away except me.” I answered. “Wait, you live in Gwangju too?”

She nodded her head.  

“Never seen you around or taking the same bus.”

“I just moved there last weekend.”

“Oh.”

 

The bus arrived and the both of us went to the upper deck since it would be a long ride back. I sat down and she took the seat beside me. Things were starting to get awkward and awkward situations were never my thing. I had to break the silence.

 

“So…” I coughed. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She chuckled. “Why so random?”

“I don’t know, the silence was awkward and I dislike awkward situations. I had to do something.”

“Cute.” She said and that got my heart beating a tad faster than usual. Why did she say that?

“We have an hour to go though.” She said again.

“I know. This is bad, right?”

“Not necessarily. We just have to keep talking.”

“Which is what I’m bad at.”

“Same actually.” The both of us sighed.

“Shall we play question and answer?” She asked.

“Sure.” I was bored, so why not. “You can go first.”

“How old are you?”

“2 years older than you. 20.” I answered. “Do you have any hobbies?”

“I love photography. I pretty much spend my spare time taking pictures.”

“I see.”

“What about you? Any hobbies?”

“I dance.”

“What kind?”

“My turn to ask the question now. Have you taken pictures around Gwangju already?”

“Haven’t had the time to, been busy unpacking and settling in. So what kind of dance do you do?”

“Hip-hop, bboy, popping, locking, those kind.”

“That’s really cool. I’ve always wanted to take up dancing.”

“You don’t look like you would be interested in those.” I laughed.

“Doesn’t look like doesn’t equal to not interested.” She pouted and I caught it.

So cute…

“Uh… What’s your favorite food?” I asked.

“Ddeokbokki.”

“Really? Same here.”

“Ah, I want some now.” She said.

“Hungry?”

“Yeah.” She sighed.

“Didn’t have lunch?”

“Was doing something so I skipped it.”

“It’s never good to skip meals. You might get gastric pains you know?”

“I didn’t know you’re such a mother.”

I blushed a little at her teasing.

“I’m not… That was out of care and concern.” I blurted out the last part. What did I just say?

“I appreciate it but I don’t get gastric pains often.”

“Not often means you do sometimes and you’ll never know when that day will come again.” It took me five seconds before what I said sank in my head. “Oops, sorry for the nagging.”

“It’s fine, I like it. Haven’t had someone nagging at me for a long time. I miss it.”

“Don’t you mom nag at you? Because my mom nags at me every single day. Maybe that’s where I got my genes from.”

“My mom passed away a year ago…” Her voice went softer.

I gave myself a mental facepalm.

“I’m so sorry…”

“What are you sorry for?” She chuckled. “It’s not your fault that she passed away.”

“But still, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know. I don’t hold you against that, don’t worry.”

“I…”

“Jia-ssi, it’s fine. Really. I’m fine. See?”

I turned and looked at her. She smiled. That angelic smile again.

I replied with a smile.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you smile at me.”

“Oh... Really?” I did not realize that.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Sorry.”

“Why do you keep apologizing for everything? It’s okay, Jia-ssi.”

“I’ll smile more often.”

“Good, because you have a beautiful smile.”

For some reason, my heart pounded faster upon hearing that.

“T-thanks.” I stuttered, trying to change a topic but could not think of one. Thank god the bus was reaching our stop and she pressed on the bell. We got off the bus. 

“So where do you live?” I asked. “Not a creep, don’t worry. Just wanted to know if we are walking in the same direction.”

“I live down that road.” She pointed to the left.

“Ah, I live there.” I pointed in the middle. “So I guess we’ll part here?”

“Thanks for the company and telling me more about you.”

“Vice versa.” I smiled, remembering what she told me on the bus.

“Well, goodbye. See you tomorrow, Jia-ssi.”

“Goodbye and see you too.”

She started walking away.

“Wait!” I shouted and she turned.

“You have yet to tell me your name, if you remember.”

She chuckled.

“Suji. Bae Suji.”

 

****

I’ll tell you

My life has changed

Do you feel the same too?

 

“I really need to stop being late huh?”

 

Ever since our first bus ride home, I don’t when or how but we started going back together everyday, if the both of us have nothing on after class. Whenever I have something on, I would ask her to go back first but whenever she has something on, I would lie and tell her I have to visit the library. Do not ask me why because I am confused myself.

 

We started knowing each other a lot better through the long bus rides, like how she dislikes soondae, which I do not understand because it is so delicious. She said she just couldn’t imagine herself eating animal intestines. And also how she enjoys drinking the iced hazelnut latte from Starbucks, which I already made a mental note to myself. I also got her to drop the honorifics since she was always going “Jia-ssi” and that sounded very formal to me. Too formal if I can say.

 

“Yeah, or else you’ll have to pay Mr. Lee a visit.” She said.

“The last time I went into his office wasn’t pleasant.” I shivered at the thought. “Never would I want to go there again.”

“Then start coming early.”

“What time do you wake up during school days?”

“I take the bus that comes at 6:23am. I wake up maybe an hour or slightly earlier.”

“That is very early.”

“At least I make it to school on time. Unlike somebody.” She teased.

“Ya.”

“Sorry.”

“Maybe I should start going to school with you so that I can be early too.”

“Really?” She sounded delightful. “Yay! Then I’ll have company when I go to school.”

“I doubt I can wake up that early though…” I sighed.

“I can give you morning calls if you’d like.”

“That would be great. Will it be too much trouble for you?”

“Not at all.” She smiled. “As long as I can take the bus with you.”

“Why would she say that?” I thought to myself, but stopped before my imagination ran far.

“Give me your number.”

She passed me her phone and I punched in a few numbers on it. She saved it before giving me a missed call. I took out my phone to save her number.

“Thanks in advance for the morning calls.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

****

 

Bye bye sadness, hello my love

Please stay by me

It’s so amazing to be in love

 

I tossed and turned, failing to fall asleep. I remembered that I have Suji’s number in my phone now and I picked up my phone, giving her a text to see if she was still awake.

 

“Slept?”

“Yeah. I’m sleep-texting you now.”

I grinned. “That’s creepy. Then I would rather no reply.”

“Joking. Why are you still up? It’s 1AM.”

“Speak for yourself.”

“I had homework to do and I was about to fall asleep. You?”

“Don’t know. Have been laying here for the past hour but can’t sleep.”

“Something on your mind?”

 “Nah. Just can’t sleep for some reason.”

Her reply came later this time round. “Want to call me instead if you want to talk? My eyes and thumbs are kinda malfunctioning right now.”

“You must be sleepy. I’m sorry to keep you awake. Go to bed.”

“I’m still alright. Call me.”

“I don’t want to keep you up. Just go to bed.”

After a few seconds, I got a call from her.

“I asked you to go to bed.” I said sternly.

“Such a warm welcome. Not even a ‘hi’? You wanted to talk right?”

“I said I don’t want to keep you up.”

“And I told you I’m still alright. Did you text me just for an argument before sleep time?”

I chuckled. “No.”

“Come on, say ‘hi’. I deserve it.”

“Hi!” I said. “There. Happy?”

“Not really but good enough. You wanted to talk?”

“Was just wondering if you were still up.”

“Just that?”

“Uh… Yeah?”

“You’re so weird.”

I giggled. “Takes one weirdo to know another.”

“Says the person who doesn’t like ramyeon.”

“Says the person who doesn’t like soondae.”

“It’s not wrong to not like soondae.”

“It is!” I exclaimed. “How can anyone not like soondae? And to think that you’re Korean.”

“Well… Number one, I just can’t imagine eating intestines. Number two, Koreans can not like soondae too.”

“I don’t get you.”

“Are we really going to argue over our food preferences at 1:30AM?” She asked.

“Nope and okay sorry, I will try my best to understand from now on.”

 “You’re so cute, Jia.” I was taken aback by her sudden words and guessed she wasn’t fully aware that her sleepiness is causing her to be more honest about her opinions. I felt happy though, for some reason. I smiled.

“Still there, Jia?”  

“Y-yeah.” I said.

“Why… are you… so quiet…?”

“Are you falling asleep?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re just repeating yourself.”

“I’m not.”

I chuckled. I could tell she was falling asleep. “Go to bed, Suji-ya. Really. You can give me a morning call so that I will wake up and we can talk on the bus.”

“Well… If you say so…” She was slurring her words.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodni-…”

I knew she fell asleep before she could finish saying “goodnight” so I ended the call. I couldn’t help but feel happy, even though we did nothing besides arguing over food. Strangely.

I put my phone back on the side table, switching the table lamp off before trying to sleep again – and the smile never left my face.

 

Am I… falling in love?

 

****

 

It began way back
Love is not a coincidence but destiny
If you like me, if you love me
Let me know, tell me please baby
I’ll only think about you
 

For the next few weeks, Suji and I went out often. Besides only going to and back from school, we started hanging out in Gwangju, often with me taking her to places so that she could do her hobby – photography.

 

I also started spending lesser time with my best friend, Fei. But then again, she has her own boyfriend to spend time with; I would not want to be a gooseberry. She knew that I was hanging out with Suji.

 

Fei once asked me if I like Suji and that took me by surprise. I thought about it and simply replied, “I don’t know.” I was really unsure about my feelings back then. But as time went by, my answer changed.

 

At first, I thought it was just me being excited over having a new attractive friend but slowly came to realize that it wasn’t that simple. I started noticing how I would get so happy to receive a text or call from her, how my face flushes when she says something like “You’re so cute”, how my heart races whenever she touches me and how I wanted to kiss those lips of hers whenever I look at her. From then, I knew that my answer went from an “I don’t know” to a “Yes”. 

 

I am certainly not a daredevil – I did not confess my feelings to her, nor did I hint her. I was afraid that this would scare her away because the last thing I would want is her distancing herself from me. I kept my feelings locked in a box, stashing it away somewhere in my heart. Just being with her makes me happy enough, I thought.

 

****

 

I’ll tell you

My life has changed

Do you feel the same too?

 

I was bored to tears at home so I picked up my phone to text Suji.

“You free now? Wanna catch a movie?”

“I was hoping you would ask. I’m so bored at home.”

I chuckled. “What do you want to watch?”

“The fault in our stars? Heard it’s really good.”

“I don’t mind.” I replied, even though I read the book already and I know movies made from a book would always be worse. Always. I checked the timing for the movie and sent her another text. “There’s one at 7:20pm. Dinner before that?”

“Okay. See you at… Hmm… 5:30pm?”

“See you!”

 

I put down the phone and whistled a happy tune, making my way to the room to prepare for our movie “date”.

 

We had Italian for dinner before we watched the movie. Suji cried while watching it. I did too, but I quickly dried them before Suji could notice.

 

“Augustus and Hazel’s love is so beautiful.” Suji said as we were walking aimlessly in the mall after the movie. “I’m so jealous.”

“You will have a love life this beautiful as well, don’t worry.”

“Will I?”

“Sure you will, as long as you find your right one.”

“I think I found her.”

“Really? Who is it?”

Suji continued walking without answer.

“Do I know the person?” I tried probing again.

“Yeah. Very well.”

“Really? Who is it?” Half of me wanted to know but the other half did not. I played along and asked, just to avoid being too suspicious.

Suji laughed it off before lacing our fingers together. My heart raced at her touch while she led the way back home, with the question of her right one still lingering in my head.

 

****

 

Bye bye sadness, hello my love

Please stay by me

It’s so amazing to be in love

 

We were taking our usual bus back, though Suji seemed unusually sleepy.

“Didn’t slept well last night?”

“Nope.” She yawned. “Just had lots of work to do.”

“Ahh.”

 

With the lack of sleep and silence that was engulfing us, it was easy and fast for Suji to fall asleep. She was unconsciously nodding her head in various directions – down, right, left, while sleeping. Thinking that it was uncomfortable for her, I shifted her head slowly onto my shoulder, trying my best not to wake her up in the process.

 

With her face closer to mine, I kept staring at it. It is creepy, I know, but I couldn’t help it. I fought the strong urge to not look at her sleep but I failed. Terribly.

 

I brushed the bangs that were covering her beautiful face aside. I observed her forehead, down to her eyes, her nose and eventually landed my eyes on her lips. I swallowed and looked away, only to look back five seconds later.

 

I took in a deep breath and breathed out fast. Just a peck. She is sleeping, she wouldn’t know. Our faces inched closer, and I landed my lips on hers. I pulled back quickly, just in case she wakes up all of a sudden and looked out of the window, trying to hide my flushed face. I touched my own lips and smiled.

 

****

 

No matter what comes our way

I’ll be right next to you

Swear you my love, my love

 

“Let go off me!”

I just stepped out of the classroom and I heard a familiar scream.

“Isn’t that Suji?” Fei asked.

I turned my head immediately and she was right. Suji was being surrounded by a group of older guys.

“Be careful.” Fei warned, which I replied with a nod before approaching them.

“Let go off her.” I said. Anger can be heard in my tone.

“Who are you, small kid?”

I slapped the hand that was grabbing onto Suji away.

“Ok Taecyeon right?” I recognized the guy. “Stop bothering her.”

“I asked you who the hell are you.” He stared down at me.

“Does that matter?”

“Does it not?” He asked. You’re interfering my time with Suji. Move away.”

“Excuse me,” I said and held Suji’s hand. “But you’re the one who’s trying to hit on my girlfriend in front of me. Who’s interfering who?”

Everyone around gasped, but I chose not to be bothered about that. At least not at that moment.

“Your girlfriend?” He snickered. “The last time I checked, she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Much less a girlfriend.”

“Then you’d better refresh your brain because you’re remembering things from months ago.”

“Why you-“ Taecyeon balled up his first. “I do not hit girls. Do not be the first.”

Suji squeezed my hand. I looked at her worried face and smiled. I squeezed her hand back and kissed her cheek.

“Everything would be fine, I promise.” I reassured.

“I’m still here.” Taecyeon said. “Stop making out in front of me, it’s making me puke.”

“Then puke. What are you waiting for?” I asked.

“You’re really asking for it.” He threw a punch and I dodged it before punching him right in his nose.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to let you know something. I own a black belt in Taekwondo. Good riddance, Taecyeon-ssi.” I pulled Suji. “Let’s go.”

We walked down the hallway, with hundreds of stares on us but I could not care more. All I wanted to do is bring Suji out of there.

 

****

 

Please tell me

This is like love

 

After that, we took our bus back to Gwangju. None of us spoke during the bus ride, each in our deep thoughts. After alighting, we decided to walk around the vicinity together before going home. I decided to speak first.

“I’m sorry for embarrassing you in school by saying you’re my girlfriend. I wasn’t thinking at all. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She held my hand and squeezed it like how she did an hour ago.

A part of me wished that she would stop holding my hand before I fall for her harder, if that is even possible, but another part of me wanted to her keep holding me like this and never let go.

“Why would you come up with that reason though?” She asked.

“Uh…” I remained quiet.

“Jia?”

I sighed. I decided to confess.

“I like you."

Suji stopped walking and looked at me. I avoided her gaze.

“Look at me.”

“No.” I replied. “I think it’s better if I don’t.”

“Just look at me. Am I that scary?”

“No you’re not. It’s just…”

“Then look at me.”

“But…”

“How is this relationship going to happen if you don’t look at me?”

“But… Wait what?” I looked at her immediately and saw her smiling at me.

“I know you heard it. I’m not going to repeat myself.”

I was still in shock, trying to digest what she just said. “Y-you… Me… Relationship?” was all I managed to get out of my mouth.

“You took my first kiss away, don’t try to avoid responsibility now.”

“I took your first kiss…?” I asked. I recalled to the day on the bus and had a sudden realization. “Oh. Wait. You knew.”

“Yes, I knew.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Or stop me? Or moved away?”

 “Maybe… Because… I was enjoying the moment as well?”

“Oh… OH.” Everything was crashing on me at one go.

“You’re such a pabo sometimes.” Suji said.

“I’m not.” I pouted.

“Yeah, you are.” Suji chuckled. “Now keep those pouted lips before I plant mine on them.”

“I would love for that to happen though. Maybe I should keep pouting until you do it.”

Suji slapped my arm.

“I’m joking.” I held the part where she hit.

“Sorry.” She rubbed it. “So… what now?”

“What now? Maybe this…” I held both of her hands tightly. “Bae Suji, would you like to be Meng Jia’s girlfriend?”

“What if I say no?”

“I’d cry and crawl back home.” I said. “And do not say no just to make me do that.”

“You’re the cutest.” She grinned. “Yes.”

The both of us leaned in slowly and our lips met each other’s, sharing our first kiss. Okay, maybe the second.

 

Bye bye sadness, hello my love

I will always be there

It’s so amazing to be in love

 

****

 

My train of thoughts ended as the last note of the song was played. This song always reminds me of our love story.

“Beautiful as always.” I went to the person who was playing the piano.

“Me or the song?”

“The song.” I teased.

“Ya!” Suji pouted.

“And you too of course.” I captured her lips with mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

 

It’s so amazing to be in love… with you.