Story: Rain
Author: ihatey0u
Status: Ongoing- Prologue; 1 Chapter
Characters: IU - Chanyeol - Baekhyun and others
Rated?: Not much
Summary: 
It was raining when she found somewhere in what she knew was nowhere 
and something in what she thought was nothing.

Title:

Lone word titles are excellent for me. Why? Because it doesn’t give anything away at all but makes someone ask questions. Questions like, ‘Out of all the words out there, why choose this particular word?’ and that query will only be answered when the story is read.

I haven’t seen the relevance of the title to the story yet but I presume that’s because the story has just started.

Foreword:

It was a plain Jane kind of foreword. Of course, the one sentence you wrote has aroused my curiosity but it was rather too short. A foreword should possess the supremacy to lure someone in your story and click the ‘next’ button but if it’s significantly brief, that might not ensue. Although it did intrigue me, it wasn’t powerful enough and again, that was because it was too transient.

Another point to ponder on, crediting someone is great especially because they did effort for you but having their posters too big is no good. Change the size of the credit posters to relatively smaller so it wouldn’t cover up the story. Honestly, they were WAY too big whilst the description of your story was too short. You need to create balance because bluntly, your foreword looks like a mess.

Plot:

The prologue did its job which is to establish the setting of the story, to unravel questions and to open the story to readers. I had a question while I was reading your prologue, how did she know that the person laughing is a ‘he’? I just assume perhaps it was the way his laughing voice sounded.

The first chapter was also fantastic. There were some questions that aroused, and that is a good thing because that means I need to keep reading in order to squeeze answers. The flow of the story is smooth and I think you know where you want your story to go, if I’m wrong then at least I’m willing to bet that you have an idea where you want it to journey.

Character Development:

Since there’s only a prologue and chapter, there wasn’t any character development yet. I look forward to seeing it in the future, especially on how IU will cope in everything that has happened to her. How will it change her?  I liked how confused she was because that seemed very realistic. She also seemed to be a strong character even though she gets scared at few scenes (But who wouldn’t? If I was in her perplexing shoes, I’d be too).

I’m also looking forward to what Hyuna’s role will be, LuHan’s and Baek’s too.

There was Chanyeol in the main poster but he’s yet to appear.

Grammar:

Great but there were some misused words. You should understand words more and although they are flexible, you can’t bend them against what they mean. For example, you used the word ‘hallow’ in your prologue; it was supposed to entail something frightful (cold and evil) but hallow means ‘something/someone sacred or holy. Or to make holy.’ It just doesn’t match up does it? You also used ‘monochromatic depression’. I didn’t get what you mean with that. In the first chapter you first used quill and later changed it to pen – those are two different writing equipments.

I don’t know if it was made on purpose but ‘The man laughed’ was used 3 times in just a span of 8 sentences. It was too redundant. There were few more word redundancy, re-read your story and I’m sure you’ll spot them.

Originality:

I have no idea why but the story reminded me of Percy Jackson stories, maybe because it had the same usage of words or it had the same feel to it. Nonetheless, judging from what you have put up, the story seemed to have its more than fair share of originality.

Personal Enjoyment:

I ADORE Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s work so when I saw it on the Prologue I was ecstatic! I really enjoyed reading the story! I can stake that the story will have more interesting plot in the future. I’ll continue reading! Best of luck!

Thank you for requesting, I hope the review I gave helped shed some light or whatever :D
Credit me (A-Dose-Of-Kai) and the shop in your foreword! Thank you again.