age is just a number // more than just a boy
 

Some said ‘age is just a number’. I quite agree with the statement, frankly speaking. But it was my friends that doesn’t approve of the said statement. I mean, isn’t age just a number? So why does it matter if a girl like me prefers younger boys?

I never dated a younger boy before but I bet they’ll make a nice boyfriend. Sure, older men might understand us girls more and maybe protect us better but I’m – scratch that – we’re still young and young people should do young stuff. Don’t you think? So while I’m still 17, maybe, I’d like to date a younger boy? But that’s just crazy as I really have no interest in a boy.

I prefer a man to be honest.

So when a junior of mine, who goes by the name Shin Dongho suddenly confessed to me in front of my friends, I immediately reject him. It’s not because I’m picky. It’s just that…

We were on our way home during that time. It was so hot I could really undress in front of my friends but we were on the street so of course no. I would totally look like a fool if I did. My friends and I were talking about girls stuff. You know, about boys and celebrities. When we almost went pass the tree, I stopped because apparently, someone blocked my way.

Not really block my way but he bumped onto me and his hands rested perfectly on my… chest.

I was really embarrassed because my friends were there and he was a boy and how could I not be embarrassed in a situation like that? I immediately shoved him and ran away with my friends without turning back.

That’s part one of my story.

Part two is that on the next day, I completely forgot about the incident until we were on our way home again. Still on the same spot, the same boy from the other day came from the back of the tree and he suddenly said, “Junghee noona! I like you so so so so much!!”

None of us talk. My friend, Iseul, decided to break the ice by saying, “isn’t that the junior who touched your chest?”

I felt so mortified that I would like to die right in front all of them. No one spoke again.
“Can you go out with me?” the boy continued as he stared at me with his huge brown eyes. He looked adorable, sure. But the problem was, he was confessing to me in front of my friends and he had touched my chest and I really have no interest in him.

“I’m sorry, kid, but don’t you know Junghee noona has a boyfriend? She’s older than you and she’s not interested in a hopeless kid like you so bugger off,” Jieun emphasized the word noona and gave the boy a ‘duh’ look.

And another reason why I rejected him is because I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend is my senior by a year and we’ve been together for three months already. Dongho should’ve confessed before I’ve got together with him. Who knows I might be kind back then to accept him?

“I – well,” I was speechless. Never ever it occurred to me that a junior might have taken a liking towards me. I felt flattered and ashamed at the same time.

“I know,” Dongho answered Jieun. “I know she has a boyfriend.”
My eyes widened and my friends gasped. “Are you trying to ruin their relationship?” Seulmi asked.

“No but he is the one who is trying to ruin their relationship,” Dongho replied.
How could he? I was trying to be friends with him and kindly reject him but he went overboard. My boyfriend and I had been happy and we never even fought. He’s just a boy and he didn’t even know our relationship story so why was he acting as if he was the one in a relationship with my boyfriend?

“Look, kid,” I angrily initiated.
“I’m not a kid, I have a name.”
“Whatever, Dongho or Donghee –”
“It’s Dongho.”

“Well, I don’t care what the hell your name is,” I snapped. “I wasn’t going to say this at first but I do not want to go out with you.”

“But just give me a chance, noona.”

“Oh my god…” I heard Iseul muttered, which made me felt more embarrassed than before.

“I have no interest in younger boys and I absolutely don’t like younger boys,” I finished my sentence and signaled my friends to start walking. And with that, we left Dongho and headed back home while cursing the kid.

By rejecting him harshly, I was hoping that he might stop doing all ridiculous things as I have puked on his dreams of going out with me. But I was wrong.

I might have not hung out a lot with my boyfriend but we always see each other on Sunday. He’s a busy boyfriend as he was a soccer captain. As usual when it was recess time, I would wait for my boyfriend at the cafeteria and he was late.

He was seldom early but as an understanding girlfriend, I could completely fathom why he was late. Obviously he was coaching his soccer juniors so I didn’t really mind. To be honest, I do mind. In fact, a lot.

I was daydreaming while waiting at table 19 when out of the blue, a boy sat in front of me while giving me a carton of milk. I was surprised by the sudden gift and I grinned. Never had Jinki gave me a carton of milk – in fact, it was my favourite. I smiled as I looked up to him.

But it wasn’t Jinki.

It was the boy.

“Um, what are you doing on my table?” I asked as I hold the milk.

“Noona. I know that you must be lonely and in need of company so here I am. I am willing to be your company every time of the day. I like you a lot,” he said.

I blushed as I heard he was confessing once again. That was just the sweetest thing a boy had ever done to me before. I felt like tearing up but he wasn’t my boyfriend so why should I? I only stared at him in astonishment, wondering how such an adorable junior could say that cutely to his senior. If this were a movie, I would probably ship the junior and senior but it wasn’t a movie and it was me!

“Dongho-ah. Jieun had clearly said that I’m too old –”
“I’m only a year younger than you,” he corrected.
“But still.”

“I can treat you like a princess, noona. I swear.”

He was starting to creep me out so I walked away. But then I realized I forgot to take the milk so I had to reversed back, grab the milk, poke it with a straw and hurriedly disappeared.

So I told my friends the story of Dongho and they just laughed their asses off. It wasn’t funny to me but being the good so called friends they are, they mocked me. I started to believe that the ‘jokes aren’t funny if they are on you’ phrase.

“He’s such a joke,” Iseul said between her laughs.

That made me wanted to avoid Dongho and run away to another country. To my friends, he’s just a regular idiotic boy who doesn’t know what he was doing and was obsessive towards me. Although I thought that he was just a kid, the fact that all of them thought of him like that, made me want to disappear from this world.

The thing with me is, if my friends disagree, I also disagree.

“He really creeps me out,” I admitted.

“I really wonder how he ended up liking you though,” Seulmi wondered aloud.
“Eli is his friend,” Jieun answered. “And Eli is Junghee’s classmate.”

“What does that have to do with him liking me?” I rolled my eyes because obviously, that didn’t answer her question.

“Hey, who knows Eli might talk about you a lot?” Iseul said.

“That’s true,” I agreed for a while. “But why would he? I mean if Eli likes me, I might believe it because at least he knows me but that Dongho boy… I never even heard of him or see at him somewhere at school. Don’t you think it’s weird?”

“Duh,” all of them rolled their eyes.

We decided to hang out for a while. We usually stop by the milkshake shop on Thursday so we did. But the problem with us was that we don’t have the money. I did have some left but it wasn't enough. Jieun didn’t brought any money, Seulmi had problems sharing as she was saving her money and Iseul had spent it on a box of pocky and chips on a convenient store.

“Why did we come here without money again?” Jieun asked, annoyed.

In front of us were a couple that were buying milkshakes. Iseul sighed dreamily as she stared at them, “I wish someone would treat us milkshakes now.”

As if God had heard her, a familiar voice was heard, “hi!!”

All of us turned around to face Dongho with a bright smile on his face. He was holding tightly on his bag strap and cutely waved at us. He looked so adorable! But then I remembered that he was the boy who had touched my chest and annoyed the hell out of me. All of us stared at him with a dumbfounded expression.

“Uh… hi…” Jieun muttered, giving him a small wave.

“I didn’t know you guys like to hang out at the milkshake shop. Let me treat you noonas!”

We ended up being treated by Dongho who is a year younger than us yet brought a lot of money. Iseul took advantage of the situation and instead of ordering a milkshake; she ordered a banana split with lots of topping. Jieun ordered her favourite strawberry milkshake and Seulmi ordered a vanilla milkshake. As for me, I really didn’t want anything. I lost my appetite to drink the mouth-watering chocolate chip milkshake.

We girls sat on the table while Dongho kindly offered to take the ordered milkshakes to us. While he was away, the girls seized the chance to gossip about him.

“Oh my god, he’s a rich kid,” Iseul muttered.
“He really is trying to make us like him,” Jieun mumbled back.
“Too bad he’s just a kid,” Seulmi continued.

I mentally face palmed.

Dongho came a few minutes later with a tray full of three milkshakes and a banana split. He gave them their drinks and sat beside me. Iseul slowly took a bite of her banana split  as Seulmi and Jieun happily sipped their milkshakes as if they had no care for the world.

Deliberately, the two girls moved to the other seats, leaving Jieun, me and Dongho at the table. I thanked God that Jieun didn’t left because it would be super awkward as Dongho was sipping on his milkshake but his eyes were on me. I did not dare to turn to look at him.

All of a sudden, Seulmi came back and gave us a nervous giggle, “Jieun unnie, let’s go to the other seat,” while pulling Jieun by her collar. Jieun whined, “But I haven’t –” Seulmi interrupted her sentence by a loud forceful laugh and dragged her away from the both of us.

So they had planned this! I had thought.

I was fuming with anger and I felt humiliated during that time. Why would they leave me alone with this weirdo? Not to mention that he sat beside me yet he was staring at me as though I was sitting far away from him.

I let out an uncomfortable cough and shifted my away from him.

“You look prettier close up,” he complimented.
“Thanks,” I muttered without even looking at him.

I didn’t know what happened next but a waiter came with a chocolate chip milkshake and gave it to me. I was confused at first. I didn’t order anything but what made me surprised the most is that how Dongho did knew it was my favourite?

I only stared at the milkshake; questions were forming inside my head. First, he kind of followed us – but he said he just knew that we ‘hung out here’. Secondly, how did he know it was my favourite milkshake? I always ordered chocolate chip flavor and never ordered anything else beside it.

“Drink it, noona. Don’t be shy, I know you love this flavor,” he beamed cutely with his smiling eyes.

I turned around, refused to look at him. My cheeks were starting to heat up and I only played with the straw on the plastic cup. Oh my god, he was so adorable. I was screaming on the inside alone when all of a sudden, a deep voice surprised me.

“Oh, Junghee? What are you doing here?” I looked up to see Jiho – Jieun’s boyfriend – staring at US with wide eyes. His gaze were shifted from me to Dongho and then back to me and then turn to Dongho again. I bet he was puzzled.

“I – um, well.”

Thank goodness Jieun saved me just in time. As soon as she saw Jiho, she dragged him by his arms to their seats faraway, a lot of questions then heard.. Questions like, “what if Jinki hyung knows?!” “Is she cheating behind hyung?”

And once again, I left the milkshake shop with the drink Dongho had given me without turning back. All I could hear was a cry, “don’t go, noona!” from Dongho.

Days passed and Dongho kept on doing a lot of weird stuff to me especially when Jinki wasn’t around. I haven’t and didn’t even had any intention to tell Jinki that I had an admirer or he would go and smash Dongho’s face. That would not be a nice sight, I tell you.

Dongho had been asking for my number but I refused to give it to him.

I spent less time with Jinki as he was going to have a big exam or so he said. I wasn’t sure whether to believe in him or not because Seulmi told me she swore she had seen Jinki walking around with Myunghee when he said he was having an extra class. I decided to hold on to Jinki.

After all, I’m a girl who wouldn’t believe it until she sees it.

Dongho kept on pestering me every day and I felt like reporting him to the police (if I could, I really would). But a part of me felt empty if he wasn’t there. But then again, I didn’t really care about him though.

There was this one time when I was sitting on a bench with my friends, watching the 10^th graders play soccer because Seulmi had a crush on Kim Jonghyun. Dongho spotted me and immediately ran to us, waving his hand, “Noona! Noona!! Noona!!” Suddenly, the ball struck his head and he collapsed to the ground.

My jaw dropped seeing him collapsed to the ground. He was holding his wounded head and he looked like he was in pain. The soccer players stopped playing immediately. My friends and I instantly rushed to him. I panicked because I was afraid that he might lose his memory or break his skull.

I squatted down next to him and asked, “Are you okay, Dongho-ya?”

Of course he wasn’t okay. He looked like he was about to cry in a second with his eyes tightly shut and his hand holding his wounded head.

“I’m so so sorry,” Jonghyun said as he approached us. Turned out that it was Jonghyun who kicked it and Seulmi immediately grabbed the chance to say, “No no no, it’s okay. Really.”

( “How can I make it up to you guys then?” Jonghyun worriedly asked.

“First, maybe you could send him to the sick bay and secondly, what about a dinner?” Seulmi suggested. )

Dongho finally opened his eyes and the pained look on his face disappeared. With an endearing smile, he looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “I wasn’t. But you cared about me and that’s enough.”

Iseul squealed and I could feel that Jieun was creeped out.

My cheeks were heating up as I hit his head with my fist, “No, I didn’t! I never cared about you!” but inadvertently, I was hitting the wounded part. He winced in pain and I immediately rubbed the wounded part, scared that I might broke his skull, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

I don’t know what was wrong with him but he rested his hand on my hand that was rubbing his head and smiled, “You do care about me.”

And I blushed again.

(While in the background, I could hear Iseul squealed, “I want a boyfriend like him!” while Jieun muttered, “Jiho never did that to me.”)

My friends were against the idea of me and Dongho together at first because (a) he’s a kid aka he’s my junior aka he’s younger than me (b) I am with Jinki (c) Dongho is lame. But ever since he got hit by the ball (bless the ball) my friends supported me together with him.

Dongho kept on asking me to go out with him countless of times already and I was starting to get annoyed. I lost my mood once and yelled at him to leave me alone and boy he did. Although the way his smile curved upside down broke my heart, I just couldn’t help it.

“Just… go,” I ended my screaming softly.

He looked at me with his huge brown eyes as tears were formed. His lips were trembling and I swore to God I almost take back my words but I just can’t. Why couldn’t he understand that I was with Jinki?

“Sorry,” he muttered and walked lifelessly away from me.

On the next day, I didn’t find any more annoying notes from Dongho on my locker and Dongho wasn’t following me around. Although something felt empty, I decided to just let the feelings disappeared. After all, it was what I've wanted.

My friends noticed a week after that and they were confused at why was Dongho couldn’t be seen anywhere.

“Where is he? He should be here, treating us milkshakes,” Iseul pouted as we sat down on the table at the milkshake shop.
“Yeah, I haven’t seen him these days,” Seulmi agreed.
“By any chance,” Jieun indicated as she squinted her eyes to me, “did you fight with him?”

“No,” I calmly answered.

“You should just be with him, you know. He’s one cute little puppy and he knows how to treat you better,” Iseul said.

“Why? I am with Jinki and I love Jinki,” I answered with a pout.

“Yeah, you love your boyfriend that hasn’t even contacted you for nearly two weeks and you guys only met like 5 minutes? What the hell,” Jieun muttered.

What she said was true though. Jinki rarely met me and contacted me, I didn’t know why.

But soon enough, I knew the answer as it was revealed right in front of my eyes. I was on my way to meet Jinki as he was coaching his juniors for soccer. I thought of bringing him cold soft drinks because he enjoyed it most after coaching his juniors. But I immediately regretted coming to the soccer field when I saw him with Myunghee. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders as they were laughing together.

It was supposed to be me. 

I was the one who was supposed to be in his arms, laughing with him.

I found myself running away from the scene. I wasn’t the type to cry so easily but seeing Jinki with another prettier girl hurts. After all, he was my boyfriend. Not to mention that he had cheated behind me rather than breaking up with me.

I sat on the bench at the canteen and buried my face on my folded arms that were resting on the table. I tried so hard not to cry as I kept on blinking the tears away, but I just let the threatening tears to fall.

“Noona,” I heard a familiar voice that I haven’t heard for weeks. I was starting to miss the voice but my mind was filled with the image of Jinki with Myunghee that I didn’t even care if Dongho saw me crying. “Stop crying.”

“You don’t know,” I muttered.

“I know,” he softly whispered. “I’ve seen it. You saw him. I’ve followed you.”

Although he sounded creepy, I wasn’t in a mood to be creeped out. My mind was occupied with the thoughts of Jinki cheating behind me. 

“You don’t know,” I said between my sobs, “You wouldn’t know how much it hurts. You don’t know how it feels.”

“I feel it every time I see you with him.”

Even though I was very down during that time, I felt guilty. Maybe I should have never even gone out with Jinki and gave Dongho a chance but I guess it was too late. Dongho must’ve hated me for screaming at him. He was right from the beginning. He knew Jinki was cheating behind me yet because he knew I loved Jinki so much, he’d rather wouldn’t let me know.

“What do you know?” I angrily said between my sobs as I looked up to him, not caring how hideous I looked like when I cried, “You’re just a boy.”

“Just because I’m a boy, it doesn’t mean I don’t know how it feels like. I might be younger than you but I could feel the same way as you.”

He was right but I was still feeling angry.

“So now noona,” he whispered soothingly, “please stop crying.”

But instead of stopping, I cried even harder. Worried was written on his face. Slowly, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as his hand slowly let my head rest on his shoulder. “Just let it out. Just let it all out like I did.”

I felt lifeless and embarrassed after I had cried in front of Dongho. After the incident of me crying, I was expecting that he would be back to normal. By normal, I meant, he would follow me around and leave me annoying notes. I have to admit that I actually miss his irritating voice when he called me noona.

I’ve told my friends about Jinki and they said that I was too blind to see. Maybe they were right but Jinki didn’t concern me anymore. I’ve broken up with him and I even gave him a good slap across his face. He deserved it after all.

“So now you’re in love with Dongho?” Jieun teased as she wriggled her eyebrows.

“No,” I scoffed. “Why would I be?”
“Then you should stop looking around for him, fool,” Iseul said as a matter of fact.
“Yeah, you’ve been talking about him nowadays,” continued Seulmi.

Okay so maybe, maybe, I admit, I might have taken a teeny tiny crush on Dongho – but just crush. What more can it be?

I was still hoping that he might talk to me when we were at the bus stand but no. Our gaze met once and he quickly turned around, refusing to notice my existence. I regretted treating him that same way before and now I know how hurt he must’ve felt. I blinked a tear or two but that doesn’t mean I love him.

“Dude, you’re so in love with Dongho,” Iseul boringly said.
“No, I am not,” I rolled my eyes.
“Then why are you frowning when he was talking to Miss Sunmi? She’s a teacher for God’s sake!”

“No, did not,” I hesitated. I wasn’t frowning more like – I don’t know. I felt over protective towards him? I don’t even know why. That’s when I realized I might have liked him. Maybe I like him so much. But yeah, that was all.

I let out a sigh when the three of them raised their eyebrows, waiting for my declaration. “So... maybe I do like him. Because, well because, he’s… I don’t know. Maybe because he’s more than just a boy? Gentleman, maybe? Gosh, what am I talking about, forget it. I just like him a lot I guess,” I mumbled as I could feel myself flushed.

“We knew it,” the chorused together.

And that’s when they created a plan to bring me and Dongho together. As stupid as this sounds, I was kind of glad that they were making stupid things like this because a teeny tiny part of me wished that this would happen. 

But I must’ve had put my hopes too high because it didn’t go well as expected. I couldn’t see Dongho anywhere and even if I did, he’d be gone in a blink of an eye. I was starting to hate myself for treating him like that before. But it was too late. I was just plain stupid.

Weeks passed and I was still hoping for Dongho to come up to me but it didn’t happen. I got tired of waiting for him and looking for him. Maybe that was what I get for throwing away my chances.

“Noona!” I heard his voice when I was on my way home alone. I must be hallucinating because Dongho wouldn’t call me because he hated me.

“Noona!!” and I heard it again.

Stop it brain. Stop thinking about Dongho.

“Noona!!!” it was clearer and louder this time. Before I could turn around to make sure Dongho was really there, a hand grabbed my wrist, making me turn to face the owner of the voice. It turned out to be real. It wasn’t a figment of my imagination. Dongho really called me.

“D – Dongho?” I was so surprised, so glad and so blessed.

“Noona, I – I still like you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know you must’ve hated me for following you around although you clearly told me to get lost but I just can’t help it. I couldn’t go on a day without seeing you. Even though you screamed at me and say bad things to me, my feelings for you couldn’t stop. I know it was because of Jinki hyung and I am very sorry for liking you. I – well, I –” all the time when he was talking, he was holding my wrist and looking at me straight in the eyes. I was so touched I immediately hugged him, causing him to stop talking.

“No, you’re not wrong. I’m the one who should say sorry,” I whispered. “And I like you too.”

Dongho rested his chin on my head and I could feel him smiling against my head. He then softly said, “I’m glad.”

And that’s how I got together with Dongho. I also finally found out to why he had a crush on me. Apparently, I helped him once when he was bullied and the way he explained it made me sound like I’m an angel from heaven. “I’m not that angelic, you know,” I interrupted his story when he was telling me how I sparkled and everything was in slow motion and he swore he could see my halo.

“But you’re always an angel in my eyes, noona.”

I wonder when he would stop making me blush.

And at the end of the day, he had said, “So am I a gentleman to you, noona?” while wiggling his eyebrows.

I blushed as he teased me. So that was why he had confessed to me once again, one of those es must have had told him all the things that I’ve said about him!!! But despite them helping me behind my back, I felt grateful that Dongho had told me his real feelings.

Because Dongho is more than just a boy.

▬▬▬ & in addition ▬▬▬

→ “So when will they arrive?” Jonghyun asked.

Jonghyun and Seulmi were in a restaurant. As Jonghyun had promised to take them out for a dinner because (a) he accidentally kicked a ball and it hit Dongho’s head (b) Seulmi said he could be forgiven by treating them to a dinner.

“I don’t know,” Seulmi nonchalantly said. “I specifically told them to come at 7 and now it’s almost 8.”
Truth was, Seulmi didn’t even tell them. She had planned this so that she could finally be alone with her crush.

“I don’t think they’ll be coming though,” Seulmi added, hoping that Jonghyun would take a hint.
“Well, that’s too bad.”
“So, should we just start eating without them?”

→ Jieun stared at Jiho curiously as her mind filled with a lot of thoughts. Jiho could feel that his girlfriend was watching him so he turned his head around to see Jieun staring at him as if he was the most beautiful creature on earth.

“Yah,” he snapped, causing her to almost jump, “why are you staring at me like that?”

“And rude also,” Jieun mumbled under her breath. She was comparing Dongho with Jiho as she was starting to get jealous that such person like Dongho exists.

Jiho raised his eyebrow, confused. “Who’s rude?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she answered.
“Were you relating me with our junior?”

“No,” Jieun lied but Jiho could sense that it was a lie.

Jiho let out a sigh of disappointment. “How many times should I tell you? If you like him, you can just go to him. I don’t really mind actually.”

Jieun rolled her eyes in annoyance. “And he doesn’t actually loves me,” she mumbled under her breath before spinning around, not wanting to look at Jiho’s face, making Jiho surprised by her sudden 180 degrees change of mood. “Never mind,” she let out a disappointed sigh as she walked away.

“Yah, yah, Jieun-ya!!” Jiho called out, afraid that she would really go to him.