The next morning I was greeted by new stinging pains. Slowly, I lifted the hem of my shirt to get to the source. Before I saw it I knew exactly what to expect, after countless nights of the same routine, I wasn’t new to the aftereffects. A painting of blues, purples and red splattered my abdomen. Lucky for me, I could hide the bruises with my uniform. The only things I was worried about were the results of his teeth clattering punches.

    I stood in front of the mirror clothed in my burgundy and navy blue school uniform. My thoughts weren’t with the bruises that were perfectly covered by my socks, or uniform, but rather with my slightly swollen face. I should’ve gotten that warm towel sooner, perhaps the swelling would’ve gone down. I could pass it off as an allergic reaction. With a sigh, I grabbed my backpack and left the destructive house.

    The school day felt longer today. I couldn’t stop looking at the clock, waiting for the time when the final bell would ring. Why was I so anxious? Why did I want to go to the park so eagerly? I couldn’t possibly expect the Man in the Bear Costume to show up again. It was probably just a one time thing. I couldn’t expect to see him again. It was illogical. He had work, and a life. I shouldn’t expect for him to come. But I did. I wanted to see him again, but why? I met him once, that was it!

Finally I was on my way to the park. I was too eager, and couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted to talk to him, someone who might understand. I sprinted past the pestering salespeople, with only one thing in mind. My shoes clapped against the concrete, propelling me towards my destination. At my arrival I was greeted with an eerie silence.

The swigs swayed with the soft chilling breeze. My ed cardigan billowed with the wind, before it finally registered in my mind what happened.  He wasn’t here. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. My chest felt heavy as my throat started to close. My hopes that were irrationally high, came crashing down. Of course he didn’t show up. Nothing was permanent in my life. Nothing. People would just disappear without a trace, and show up unannounced. I couldn’t expect a mere stranger to stay. I didn’t have the right to feel hurt! I shouldn’t have talked to him in the first place.

--

    I sat in the practice room staring at my drenched face and listening to my labored breath. Today’s practice was over, but why did I feel like I was missing something. I was eagerly waiting this time after practice, when all of the day’s work would be done, but for what? I should be sad. I shouldn’t feel relieved.

    I unlocked my phone’s screen to see the conversation I had with my girlfriend earlier today. “After almost being caught last night, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” She said. She suggested it first. She broke up with me. Why do I feel happy? With a sigh, I let my sweaty back meet the cold wood floor.

    The icy floor cooled my burning skin through my wet shirt, but I couldn’t sooth my racing heart. What was I waiting for?

    My phone rattled on the floor, notifying me that my manager was outside, waiting to take me home. I gathered my belongings and made my way out the door and into the black minivan before I could be molested by the screaming fangirls.

    On the ride home, I sat in silence, staring out the window. My heart still pounded in my chest at a strong, fast pace. Why was I so nervous? I’m just going home. I should feel relaxed, not excited, not nervous, not anxious. I should be calm.

    We drove past the park, when I saw her. She sat alone, looking down at the ground. I knew it was her. I remembered that uniform, I remembered how rested right above her knees when she sat in that same spot last night. I wanted so badly to go over to her and comfort her. I wanted to ask her what was bothering her. Why did she look so sad? That was when I dawned on me. How could it be so obvious. I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to ask her about the bruise I saw last night. I wanted to be by her side.

--

    The dry leaves floated across the concrete splattered with red woodchips. The wind picked up, blowing my cardigan away. I quickly buttoned up the material. My skin was paler due to the sudden drop in temperature. I let out a deep breath, only to see the condensation. My heart tugged, remembering a time when I used to call it dragon’s breath. My big brother would always tease me, saying I was in fact a dragon, and only I had the ability to do that. He would always make me feel special.

    My breath caught in my throat with his sudden reminder. I haven’t thought of him in so long. My breath became heavy, and my heart was beating so loudly, it distracted me from his thoughts. “Big Brother.” I murmurred. It’s been so long since I uttered those words, it felt odd on my lips. Tears threatened to slip out, but I kept them in their place. I stopped crying because of him a long time a go. I closed my eyes and focussed on steadying my heart. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I failed to realize the Man in the Bear Costume came and sat next to me.

    “What’s the matter?” a husky voice asked. My eyes shot open at the familiar voice. He’s here. My heart lost control. I looked over to see the same bear head turned towards me. I was speechless. Why? Why couldn’t I get my voice to cooperate? Finally, I just shook my head.

    “How was  your day?” He questioned. Why was his voice so wonderful? Why did his voice send shivers down my spine?

    “Fine, the usual. Yours?” I said after much effort. It came out sounding faint and breathless. My stomach churned. I hope he heard me. I wasn’t going to be able to repeat it even if I tried.

    “Same. I saw my parents today after a month.” He said with a nostalgic tone. I couldn’t help but smile. He sounded happy. He missed them. I wasn’t sure why he didn’t see them in so long, but it wasn’t my place to question him about his personal choices. It finally dawned on me that I was smiling. Immediately, I forced my lips into their original place. It had been so long since I smiled, it felt weird.

    “What are they like?” I asked quietly. My eyes grew round when it I realized the words that came out of my mouth. That wasn’t something I would ask. What was he doing to me? Why does his presence make me say things that were so out of character?

    “They’re supportive, and respect my decisions. After my sister started working, they pushed my to study hard. School wasn’t for me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be the top student, I couldn’t study hard enough. Finally they let me follow my sister’s footsteps. I began earning more money than her, and pretty soon I was the main source of income in the family. It gets stressful sometimes, when I don’t get a lot of work. But, I don’t want to quite just yet. I love what I do.”

    He sounded so burdened, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. I wanted to hug him, tell him he didn’t have to worry, tell him everything will be alright. I wanted to take part of the burden he held, and make things easier for him. I didn’t want him to feel like he wasn’t alone.

--

    Her eyes eyes were filled with empathy. It was like she knew what I was talking about; like she understood what I was going through. I finally felt like I could breath easier. Every time I talked to her, it was like she was absorbing everything I said; memorizing every word I uttered. It felt like she relieved me of some of the pressure.

I stared at her for a while, sitting in silence. The corners of her lips turned up before returning to their original spot. Her eyes stared directly into mine, even though I knew she couldn’t see them. My heart was beating wildly, I felt exhilarated. I felt alive. I never felt this way when I went on my countless secret dates. We weren’t even doing anything, and she already had my head going crazy.

“I should go home.” I said, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. It was like just looking at her took my breath away. I immediately regretted it. Her eyes flashed disappointment before being glazed over with an emotionless expression, much like the one that was presented when I first saw her.

“Okay. Good night.” She whispered back, like someone might hear us. Reluctantly, I got up off the park bench, and made my way home. I wanted to turn around and hold her close. I didn’t want to leave her side. Wait! I never asked her about herself. I didn’t get to question her about who gave her those bruises, or that swollen cheek. I turned around, only to see her figure walking away. She was too far away to hear my calls. I turned around, and continued my way home, promising to ask her tomorrow.