Sulli can’t believe that the word “vacation” used to bring a surge of hope through her veins and a smile on her face. A promise of relaxation and happiness that was only kept when she was younger and more carefree. But that seemed like an eternity ago, she seemed to have grown up and become an adult in that time, and now the word only reminded her of the rumors spiraling out of her control, out of the company’s control, and it made her feel sick all over again. The wallet incident, the pregnancy rumors, the hate comments...Sulli just wanted an escape, or something that would help her forget it all, even if it was just for a half a day or half an hour. Two things offered her the same thing she yearned for. One was the company she worked for, which gave her an all-expense paid for trip to California. And the other was her favorite band mate, who presented the taller girl with conversations that made her giddy and a smile that made her breathless. 

    Krystal comes over to their dorm in order to help pack most of her belongings into a set of luggage. She’s the only one that’s free as the other girls are all out with the new schedules assigned to them, and Sulli feels better at the temporary distraction of the young blond woman sorting through her clothes. it’s always been like that with Krystal, the way Sulli feels as if they’re in their own world when they’re together. Like it’s just the two of them. Like there’s no lies and there’s no gossip, and life’s a gentle breeze on a sunny day at the beach. She’s leaning on her bedroom’s doorframe, taking a short break from the task at hand, when her gaze settles languidly on the maknae kneeling beside her bed next to an empty suitcase. Krystal’s not happy about her leaving, Sulli can tell in the way the woman’s fingers dig into the clothes she’s diligently packing away. The details of her knuckles turning white from gripping too tightly to the fabric not going unnoticed to the older woman. 

    “I don’t want you to go.” The packing’s done, and the two of them are sitting on Sulli’s blanket-less bed, and Sulli doesn’t know what to say about the way the blond woman expresses her true feelings. So she tells the truth in exchange, turning to Krystal, looking her in the eyes and willing to be strong enough to steel herself to say a heartfelt goodbye. But it doesn’t come out as a farewell. Instead, she says, “I don’t want to leave.” But it sounds like she’s halfway from crying and nearing crossing the finish line to breaking down, and she hopes this doesn’t end with the two of them sobbing into each other’s shoulders, because she wants to be strong in her last moments with the girls she calls her second family. Sulli wants them to remember her with at least a half smile and a small, fading eye smile before she left them to get her head sorted out.

    She spots the tear racing down Krystal’s face an instant later and leans in closer to brush it off with her index finger when Krystal grabs her palm and presses it to her cheek. Sulli doesn’t move. She doesn’t feel like crying anymore. “Then stay.” Another word Sulli learned came like a ticking time bomb, just ready to explode with floods of emotion and twisted up feelings. She tries to pull her fingers from Krystal’s neck, tries to create the inevitable distance that would come between them during her absence, “I can’t.” The younger woman remains silent, and they sit there for a few minutes, the door shut, a breath of distance between them, the possibilities completely and utterly endless. So Sulli decides to be the one to take a leap of blind and lovestruck faith, “Come with me, then.” 

    The two of them tell the other members that they have no clue why it was decided that Krystal was allowed to accompany Sulli on the road to recovery when the three of them ask, but Sulli has some kind of notion nagging the back of her mind as she exchanges hugs with the three girls they were leaving behind. Maybe because of the recent surplus of fans shipping them together, the increased mentions of Jungli on social media could gain much wanted publicity and popularity if word got out that the two of them were taking a trip by themselves to Krystal’s old home. But perhaps it was because Krystal could always be a reminder of f(x) and could influence Sulli’s choices