“… I was so jealous of HER because the very moment SHE came in HIS life, I wonder was I… I was always by his side but still he didn’t saw Me…”   -Dasom

“If You found yourself crying in front of someone else…it only means you’re not a Cold hearted person anymore”   -Myungsoo 

  “ I Lose you once… I’m not going to Loose you again”   - Jiyeon

“He was your Past and had been with in Future, what chances do I have…are you still going to let him be your Past and your Future for the second time around…”    -Henry  

                                                                                              * * * * * *

Entry for a contest

Prompts

S h o u t  o u t  t o  : nightingale graphic

woobabylove0904 thanks for the so awsome job

And if any of you guys wanted to request an awsome and fantastic posters

just click on the image and your ready to go!!!
 

I would also like to thank kawaii review shop for the review

thank for being honest and here's what she has to say.

Title: In Time

Genre: angst, fantasy, romance, mystery

Status: on-going

Main Characters:  Kim Dasom, Kim myungsoo, Park Jiyeon, Henry lau

Description of Story: this story is about dasom setting foot in the past, in order to save her fiance's life who died into a car accident but the moment she landed, the story about her love life is about to change. secrets that are hidden from her is bout to be reviled and will she ever change myunsoo's fate, or will history repeats itself.

Reviewer: BTS_KimTaehyung

Title: 10/10

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Graphics: 9/10

Your graphic is wonderful. It's full of angst and has an elegant feeling. But I don't really like it how Myungsoo, Jiyeon and Henry's pictures being kinda whitish(?). 

Description & foreword: 3/10

It's too colourful and the dividers that you're using is too big. I highly recommended you to use black colour only and angst font (such as: georgia, cambria, and times new roman). Dividers aren't that needed actually.

About the description, you need to learn how to stop a sentense(using full stop). Your description's sentense could be divided into like 2 or 3 sentences(instead of just combining them into one and it was kinda confuses me tbvh).These are the reviewed version of your description:

What would you do if you could change your past, fate, and destiny?

Kim Dasom was about to set in a journey in order to save her boyfriend, Kim Myungsoo. When she went to the past, many secrets were being revealed while time were running fast.

Would she be able to save him through her journey? or the history would changed instead?

For the foreword, you introduced the characters there. Great job! But the thing is it's really messy. You should've arrange them nicely and make their pictures sizes the same(I expect you to know how to change the picture's size). And about the quote from each characters, pretty please don't use too many colourful colours, bold and capital letters(when it's not nescessary to be used). You can replace those bold/unnecessary capital letters with italic(it looks tidier and classier)

original: "...I was so jealous of HER because the very moment SHE came in HIS life, I wonder was I am... I was always by his side but then he didn't saw Me..." - Dasom

that quote is really confusing me like "his life? waityoumeanwut?" and as I know, when people talk, they always use present tense- (lol)

revised version: "I'm so jealous of her because whenever they meet up, he always end up putting me aside."

Just edit the tense to present tense, the font and colours, and voila, you're done:)

Plot: 20/30

This is my very first time reading a story like this and it somehow reminds me of Doraemon- lol. But somehow, it kinda confuses me how you managed to have flashback and present almost at the same time. But other than that, your story was having many plot twist which grows curiousity to the readers. Keep it up!

flow & originality: 6/10

I somehow feel that the flows is a little bit too fast? maybe you should slow down a bit:)

Grammar: 4/10

Your english isn't that good but it's not that bad too. You just need to improve some parts by using the same tense from the beginning until the end. I highly recommended you to use present tense if you don't want to have more work(like you know, you needa change everything to past tense if you wanna use past tense). 

Do remember to capitalise the first letter of the character's names.
example: “henry” -> "Henry"

About the tense, I'll show you some examples of the correction and I'm sure you'll be able to edit it yourself after noticing your errors. Well, if you don't have anough time to re-read it and edit it, then you can find for a beta-reader for your story to correct your grammar(which is more efficient and save your time)

original: dasom ask as she cries hard, she comes back to senses that her fiancé is already gone and there is nothing more to do about it. The moment soyu heard that, she panicked, stand up, get off her bed, then quickly runs to get her shoes and puts in on.

Correction: Dasom sobbed while asking her. She then wiped her tears as she realized that her fiance had already gone and there were no way to bring him back. Hearing what Dasom asked, she panicked as she get up from her bed and quickly ran downstairs with her shoes on.

original: As the sun goes down and the blue moon appears. Soyu constantly walks around her apartment back and forth worrying if dasom will come. Hoping that won’t ruin the last chance that she is giving her.

correction: As the sun went down, the blue moon appeared. Soyu walked around her apartment; hoping that Dason wouldn't break her promises.

You tend did a lot of typos, so it would be really nice if you re-check it again before publishing the chapter in the future:)

These are some korean romanized typos that you have: 

"Unnie" -> "eonnie"

"Kajima" -> "Hajima" (because Kajima means don't go and Hajima means don't. Always re-check those korean words in google if you're not sure with it:)

Characterization: 7/10

You described the main characters really well but I couldn't really get how the other characters were. Maybe you could add more details about how they act or the way they speak?

Reader's response: 4/5

You received a lot of comments from your readers who always anticipated every chapter, good job for that! But it would be nice if they write for like a paragraph of it hohoho

overall's enjoyment: 3/5

I'm a huge fan of fantasy story and I love your story plot as well. But it somehow confuses me whenever it's flashback or present. I suggested you to use italic for flashback and normal for present(or different colors is okay too). So it won't be that confusing:)

Total: 66/100 

Grade: C (70-50%)

  A/N: Hi guys this is the first time that I'll be writing a drama and I'll try my best to update it for the contest.

I hope you guys love it and support me, and support me all the way.

please don't forget to comment and subscribe for inspirations and encouragements

hope to hear from you guys soon.