idk Im kind of sorry for writing this but then Im kind of not

The soothing sound of Nikki Minaj's 'Anaconda' blasted through the speakers of the dance studio as Bangtan's smiling hope stretched his thigh mussels to prepare himself for the vigorous exorcize that was sure to come.

Jung Hoseok, being the incredible dancer he is, decided it was time for him to learn the most prestigious dance of all. The dance that was sweeping over the earth and taking thots over like a plague. It was time for him to learn  how to twerk.

If he was being honest, he'd say that he was a little irritated with himself for not learning how sooner. And he was sure the fans were too.

But better late than never right? 

He closed his eyes and began to rock his hips to the beat, riding the waves of the song like it was his lover. Mouthing the words to the song like he wrote them himself. He continued to rock and wait until he reached the part in the song he felt was heaven sent for twerking.

Brown eyes shot open, the fire of dance burning inside them.

"MY ANACONDA DON'T"

He bent his knees in preparation. Placing his hands on them and looking back at his reflection in the mirror.

"MY ANACONDA DON'T"

He flipped his metaphorical hair to the whipping sound in the song.

"MY ANACONDA DON'T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HUN."

And at that thought provoking quote, he went in. 

He began to violently throw his back side around to the beat. Shoving his in various directions and even going so far as to drop that down at times. He was halfway througt the chorus before he was out of breath and weakly wagging his in the air with his hands on the mirror.

"YO HOBIE, JIN HYUNG MADE COOKIES! YOU TRYNA GET IN ON THIS ACTION OR NA- what the hell are you doing." A screaming and extremely distracting Jimin barged into the room, mouth full of cookies and already making a mess of crumbs with the ones he was caring on a plate.

"Not now Jiminnie, hyung is working." He said, face dripping sweat and tongue stuck out in concentration.

"Yeah, working that ." Jimin snorted. He tilted his head sideways as if that would give him a better view of what his hyung was doing. "Are you... trying to twerk?"

And at that Hoseok stopped and looked at the younger boy.

"Trying?" He panted, finally standing up straight and groaning when he felt the pain in his lower back."What do you mean trying? Am I not doing it?"

"Hyung you're not even moving your ."

"But I thought-"

"Were you even looking in the mirror? You were moving your back more than anything. Doesn't that hurt?"

Hoseok pouted and rubbed his aching back.

"...Yeah"

"Awwww poor baby." Jimin pouted back mockingly before laughing earning a balled up towel thrown at the side of his head as he went to put the plate of cookies down, causing him to knock a few on the floor. "Wasting food, oh my god I'm telling Jin hyung."

Hoseok rolled his eyes and leaned against the mirror, dabbing his dripping face with the towel he didn't throw at the shorter boys head. Jimin sauntered over to where his hyung was and stood in front of him, smirk painted across his face and hand posed on his hip.

"You know hyung..."  he ran his hand through his hair and shifted his weight from one hip to the other. Causing Hoseok to look at him like he'd grown a second head. "I'm a bit of a twerking connoisseur​ myself. I guess I could..." He looked at his nails, pretending to be bored with the whole situation. "Help you out. I mean If I can teach Rapmon Hyung to twerk, I think I can teach you."

Hoseok narrowed his eyes at the younger boy and was about to tell him exactly where he could shove his connoisseur​ when he remembered. On American Hustle Life in LA, he did have to learn to twerk didn't he? And he was pretty good at it. 

"So you're gonna teach me?"

"Yeah, it should be fun."

And Hoseok chose to ignore the devilish smirk gracing the boys baby face.

_____________________________________________________________

"Hyung are you even trying to move your ?"

"I am moving my ."

"Where is it exactly because I cant find it."

Hoseok gasped and stopped his movements completely, placing his hand delicatly over his now broken heart.

"How rude."

Jimin rolled his eyes and started to make his way over to the groups hope.

"You want something done right you gotta do it yourself." He mumbled.

"You can't twerk for me."

And Hoseok immediately regretted saying that because he was then blinded by Jimin's megawatt smile.

"Watch me." 

Jimin wasted no time in placing his grubby little hands all over his now struggling hyung, grumbling 'hold still' as he dodged the swings aimed toward his head. When he finally settled down, Hoseok was bent and twisted into the optimal position for twerking and the vocal's hands rested at the small of his back and on his chest. He his lips and focused his eyes on the older boy's body, looking for any errors in his posture. When he was satisfied he nodded and made eye contact once again.

"Try it now, hyung"

And Hoseok tried to move his to the bass beat of the song, but for some reason Jimin was putting more and more pressure on his back.

"Hyung keep your back still. You're supposed to be moving your , not your back."

"I thought that's what I was doing!" Hoseok was dumbfounded, how could he be this bad at something so simple. With as many girl group dances as he did, this should come as a second nature to him. He continued to fiercely jerk his back to the beat until his teacher spoke up again.

"I don't know why this isn't working." He pouted.

"Oh gee you don't say." Hoseok scoffed stopping his movements once again and just about ready to give up completely.

Jimin bit his lip in thought until he came up with a brilliant idea.

"Hyung don't move!"

Hoseok's eyes widened at Jimin sudden excitement. Nothing good every happened when he was this exited and frankly he was scared for his life, but he didn't move.

"J-Jimin? What are you doing?"

"Dont turn around!"

That's sounds a lot like a death sentence.

The fear only worsened when he felt something being placed over the lowest part of his arched back and his . That's when Jimin clapped loudly, satisfied with his work and successfully scaring the out of Hoseok-- who admittedly screamed like a girl.

" 'Kay hyung, I want you to pop these cookies off your ."

Excuse me?

"You want me to pop what of my what?"

Jimin walked around to face Hoseok, bending down so that they were face to face.

"I want you to pop. The cookies. Off. Your. ."

What the actual .

"Park Jimin I swear to god if this is another kink I'm telling-"

"Hyung oh my god just do it."

Hoseok groaned dramatically, and  honestly he was still suspicious about what Jimin got off on, but he tried none the less. He popped his hips this way and that in an effort to pop the cookies off his his body, but he wasn't sure if it was even working. He sighed.

"Jimin this is stupid, I'm-"

"Hyung wait! You almost got one!"

"I DID?" 

"Yeah you did! Do that again!" 

And J-hope did just that.

He popped his up and down fiercely until he heard the familiar thud of a cookie falling the the ground and crumbling in awe at his glorious twerking style.

" YEAH I DID IT."

"DAMN RIGHT YOU DID. DON'T STOP POP THAT DON'T STOP!!!!11!"

"WHAT YOU TWERKIN WIIIIT???11?"

 He bucked and popped each cookie off one by one, throwing his whole body into his movements until there was nothing left but the cookie crums of his success. He finally stood up straight, panting and cracking his back into alignment, to turn and look at his wise teacher whose face splitting grin matched his own.

He'd done it. He'd finally achieved his wildest dream of twerking with a beautiful grace that even the worlds best stripper would be proud of.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAS" 

​"yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS"

"yaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa--"

"-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS"

"JIMIN BUMP THAT AGAIN I'M READY."

"OK BUT ARE YOU SURE."

"AS SURE AS I AM STRAIGHT."

"I MEAN I DUNNO MAN THAT'S NOT TOO SU-"

"OK YOU WANNA IN TUSSLE OR DO YOU WANNA TWERK?"

And with that Jimin grabbed the remote and pushed play once again.

________________________________________________________

When Jungkook opened the door to the practice room an hour later with a towel and a bottle of water in hand ready to practice he did not expect his two hyungs to be completely twerked out on the floor, dripping sweat, surrounded and covered in cookie crumbs.

He stared blankly at them as he took out his phone and dialed a number from the doorway, not even bothering to walk in.

When the dial tone stopped and someone picked up he spoke.

"Jin hyung, Jimin and Hobie hyung are being gay again.... The practice room... Yeah. Ok thanks... And I think this is another one of Jimin's kinks because theres a mess, you should hurry."

1.6k wtf 

and why is it that every time I write a crack fic everyone is either a wannabe gangster or a thot

​I'll have an askbox for crack requests up a little later because this was fun and I want more omg. I'll add tags as I go because I dont really know what to tag it right now.

​Comment and subscribe or whatever whooooo~~~

​~Yoshi