Chanyeol--

I felt a pillow or even a stuffed animal hit my face. The dreams of prancing in the meadows and swimming in an ocean of fudge turned into a blaring hell from the alarm clock ringing into my ears from beside my bed. I was slightly blinded by the sunlight glaring from the cracks in the curtains," Chanyeol, you're going to be late, dude. Get the hell up." That was the voice that I would wake up to from Monday to Friday. 

I groaned, turning off my alarm and rubbing my eyes. I put my glasses on and sat up, yawning," God damn, Eric. I didn't come to America for this going to jail hell school ."

My pen pal of half a year and best friend of another half laughed," No one did. Now get ready, you have thirty minutes." You see Eric was your stereotypical American 18 year old. Where all he needed in life to be happy was old fashioned American football, beautiful women and a cold beer. He's on our school's team as the quarterback. Before I moved to America, I was pen pals with Eric. It was an ESL school thing, but then we moved to SMS and continued to get closer. As soon as I got off the plane to America, Eric was there. I've been in America for about half a year now, and I guess you could say we've been friends for a whole year now. Although Eric is a great friend, I continue to think about my friends back home. All eleven of them, and Hana. Don't worry, I'll get to them all soon. They're all people I'm sure you'd like in some way or form. I'm not here too much to tell the story of the cat scratches, paper cuts and glass shards, but we'll also get there. Eventually.

I lifted myself with all the motivation I had in me-- or whatever I had left in me-- and went to get ready. Messy bed hair, pajamas and dried drool was never really a good look for a top tier, 17 year old senior "foriegn" student. I was forced into America because my parents decided studies here were much better than in Korea. They also believed there were more opportunities here. Boy, they were ing wrong. As soon as I entered New York with my first class, all I could think was "Why are they so slow?" Culture changes also hit me in the face, until I was spitting out all the ambitions I had. 

"Dude, lets go, we'll miss the bus." Eric said from the hallway.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes slightly. Lets just say mornings were never my favorite. Also waking up to only go to hell on Earth, was just a burning hole in me, as if someone pressed a freshly lit cigarette onto bare flesh of my arm. Cooking like raw eggs on a pan, fueling the flames of mentality. I put some dark jeans on and threw a black hoodie over my white shirt, fixing my hair slightly and strapping on my backpack. I gave myself one more glance and sighed, walking out the front door with Eric.

"Uh," Eric rubbed the back of his neck as we walked on the concrete cracked sidewalk together, going to the bus stop.

"What?" I said, trying not to sound mad or upset. It was just early in the morning, I'm not in the real mood to talk.

He smiled lightly and chuckled," You don't mind walking home alone right? After school. I have a party to go to, I'm not sure it's the plus one type of jingle jangle."

I made a click noise with my tongue," It's not like we're lovers or bonded brothers, I don't mind. I was never really the party type anyways." Usually Eric brought me around out of pity because I never had many friends at school. I spent a lot of time in the library reading, studying or even just bored out of my mind trying to find things to do. I have a few friends, but they usually only want to be around me because I'm a good tutor, or I can hook them up with girl's easily. After that, we stop talking until they need something from me. I never question it because having people around is always a good feeling. Timezones was always kicking my , so most of the time I didn't have anyone to talk to besides Eric if he felt bad. Homesickness was always able to catch me like a stupid fish eating bait from a fishing hook. I'm always trying to keep track of time here and in Korea for my friends. It was like they were so far. Measuring in time and distance.

"I suppose you have a point. If you ever need anything, I'm always willing to help dude. I hope you know that." Eric patted my back lightly, and I nodded.

"I know, but I'm fine. Don't worry dude, you've done a lot for me. I'm grateful. I owe you a lot as well. Lets not get all emotional this early in the morning and though." I gave him a light chuckle.

"You're right, we both don't have the tolerance for this bull right now." He shook his head with a tired smile. His phone was ringing, it was a save for the both of us I believe. 

"Hello?" Eric said, which I knew right away that it was his girlfriend calling him. He continued to talk with her back and forth about weird couple things that I never really understood, so I decided not to listen. 

We made it to the bus stop, he was still on the phone," Chan, I'm going to meet up with Alice and Josh, I'll talk to you later at school." He waved off, leaving me to sit at the bus stop alone. I still have roughly 20 minutes until the damn bus would come. It wasn't too cold, but it was boring. A busy street didn't really mean a busy mind. A busy mind never really meant a busy atmosphere either. I just wanted to get this day over with. 

I took out my phone, hoping some games or catching up with the group chat from my friends back in Seoul would kill time. I guess, this type of killing time wasn't too great for my health. I opened Kakaotalk and there it was. The burning cigarette was now a cold pistol pressing against my arm. If the trigger was pulled, it wouldn't kill me, just injure me. Just leave me hurt and tortured. What triggered it? When I opened the very message. 

Hana: " I'm sorry."

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