I really like Jongin.

He helps me alot.

When I’m happy.

When I’m sad.

When I’m angry.

He’s always there.

Jongin is nice.

He never gets mad when I call him throughout the day.

Jongin never gets mad.

Well, he did once.

When I asked him why there aren’t any pictures in the house.

Or when I asked him why my closet was half empty.

Or when I asked him about the clothes that were too small on me.

But he always said that he was sorry.

Jongin is nice.

Everybody gets mad every once in awhile, right?

I think so.

Jongin doesn’t like me meeting new people.

He said that they will make me upset.

Will they really?

If Jongin says so, then maybe it’s true.

If I meet up with new people, they will make me upset.

But I still wonder about those clothes many sizes too small in the closet.

When Jongin says not to worry, I still worry though.

Hopefully he won’t get upset at me.

I met someone new today.

He knew my name, but I didn’t know his.

How do strangers know my name?

Maybe I should ask Jongin.

But he might get mad at me.

I won’t tell him.

Besides, the Minseok guy told me that he will try to meet me again.

He said he wants to help.

Help with what?

I only need help with my memory, but Jongin said that only time could bring it back.

Maybe that’s why Jongin doesn’t want me talking to strangers.

They tell you lies.

Make you believe in a world of fantasy.

Make you feel as if everything is okay.

But something cannot get off my chest.

Minseok asked if I was still with Luhan.

Luhan was the boy in the photograph, right?

Luhan was the boy I wrote cards with cheesy lines to, right?

Luhan was the boy I shared a ring with, right?

He was.

Who is Luhan?

I want to know who Luhan is.

Jongin will get mad at me if I ask though.

Maybe I should talk to Minseok about this.

Maybe strangers are better than Jongin thought.

Luhan is pretty.

Maybe the small clothes were his?

Probably not.

Jongin would have told me about him if they were.

Instead of getting mad.

I think I love Jongin.

Jongin said that he loved me.

Do I feel the same way about him?

Maybe I should ask Jongin what love is.

Were Luhan and I in love?

Luhan is really pretty.

Minseok looked really sad when I didn’t recognize him.

Was I supposed to?

I can only remember Jongin.

Jongin has always been there.

Minseok texted me saying that he’s going to call me tonight.

He said to make sure Jongin isn’t around.

I now have two contacts in my phone.

Will Jongin be upset?

Probably not.

Jongin loves me.

He’s always happy around me.

Only one percent of the time he isn’t.

Or is it ten?

He would be happy that I have a new friend.

Or would he?

I’m not really sure.

I feel like a fish in a bowl.

Jongin will be happy for sure.

I just don’t have to tell him.

Then maybe, just maybe, I can get another kiss.

Luhan has really pretty eyes.

Minseok said he wanted to talk about Luhan.

Does Minseok know who Luhan is?

I hope he does.

Maybe I could meet him again.

I want to meet him again.

Does Minseok love Luhan now?

I hope they’re happy.

Jongin and I are happy.

Luhan has pretty hair.

I wonder why Minseok looked like he was about to cry.

Crying is only if you’re sad.

I only cry when I get nightmares.

Nightmares are bad.

Everything feels bad.

The nightmare is scary.

I see red everywhere, and it’s dark.

I hear metal clanking.

I head small bangs.

I don’t like having nightmares.

It’s always the same nightmare.

Jongin never told me why I had it.

He said it’s not important.

He says that everybody has them.

But this one seems special to me.

Because, at the end, when I wake up, I need to find it.

Find what?

I don’t know.

That’s what the angelic voice told me.

He told me to find it...or him..

I can’t really understand.

The voice is really muffled.

But it’s still pretty.

It sounds like it’s underwater.

But I can’t tell.

Everything is still dark and red.

Jongin knows that I have nightmares.

Of course he does.

But I just tell him that it’s scary.

I didn’t tell him about the angelic voice.

It doesn’t belong to him.

I wish it did.

I want to tell him about the song I sing too.

It always makes me feel better.

Like a breeze on a hot day.

Like the kisses Jongin now gives me.

Like a bird in flight.

Will he sing the song with me if I asked?

I hope he will.

Maybe I’ll tell him about it today.

Or tomorrow.

I don’t think I want to sing the song with Jongin.

The song is special.

Jongin is special to me, too.

But that’s a different kind of special.

Luhan has a pretty face.

What happened to Luhan?

Luhan must have been nice.

Minseok didn’t like it when I told him about Jongin.

Jongin is nice.

Why didn’t Minseok like him?

Jongin has a lot of secrets.

Like the time I woke up in the white room.

IV connected to my arm.

Heart beat resounding through the air.

He just said one sentence as soon as my eyelashes fluttered open.

Weren’t people supposed to be happy in those situations?

Jongin looked upset.

I don’t like Jongin when he’s upset.

He has a temper.

But Jongin is nice.

Jongin opened his mouth in the white room.

He didn’t say much.

He said a few simple words.

It’s funny how I can remember him.

It’s funny how I could remember those words.

Yet I can’t remember anything else.

Not even Luhan.

Not even Minseok.

What did Jongin mean by:

“I never wanted this to happen”

He won’t tell me.

But…

Jongin is nice.

Luhan is pretty.

Can I meet Luhan again?