Sometimes I don't tell you what I'm feeling,

because I'm hoping the silence between us

would give you a clue.

— Anonymous

For us, it really hurts that you are just ‘friends’ with someone you love.  Friend zoned, one-sided love, ignored feelings... different terms, one emotion felt.

Hurt.
 
 

But for Baekhyun, it hurts more.  Park Chanyeol.  The Park Chanyeol he'd fallen for... well, they're not in touch.  Yes, they are classmates.  Seat mates perhaps, since Chanyeol is just in front of him (making him stretch his head up like an ostrich whenever looking at the board since he's small), but he doubted he knows him.  
 
 

Chanyeol has a crazy obsession towards rilakkumas.
 
 

Baekhyun thinks, hardly, that he started to have this when he gave him, in his opinion, the first rilakkuma Chanyeol had ever received in his entire life.  He started giving him chocolates and sweets first, but then it suddenly became mainstream so he decided to give him rilakkumas instead.  Well, it kinda went like this...
 
 

Baekhyun was shopping with two of his close friends, the latter's his cousin, Kyungsoo and Luhan.  They were at a plushie store since Luhan has a for these stuffs as well.  Luhan ended up buying a koala hat, after argiuing with Kyungsoo that that is so much more cuter than the wolf one, which indeed looked pretty on him, wth all rainbows and fluffs Baekhyun swear it's the last time he will compliment Luhan like this.  It's so disgusting...
 
 

Kyungsoo was his lips the whole time, imagining himself going to a store with all his favorite foods alone which made him starve.  Pizza, glazed donuts, cookies and milk, cupcakes, strawberry pie...
 
 

“Kyungsoo, you're drooling.”  says Baekhyun, making Kyungsoo snap himself out of dream land and ended up wiping his lips with his sweater, glaring at Baekhyun who said it perhaps too loud.  Baekhyun shrugged and made a v-sign with his hand.
 
 

His eyes were wandering around the shop, becoming (slightly) interested in the displayed rilakkumas.  He actually thought about Chanyeol, his crush, as he blush furiously and asking himself the same question he'd always ask.  Why?
 
 

‘I wonder if he will like this...’
 
 

Later that night, they bid each other their ‘good nights’ and went turning off the lights, tucking themselves cozily in the blankets.  
 
 

Except Baekhyun.  
 
 

He stared at the not too big–not too small rilakkuma in his hand, “Would Chanyeol like this?”  he asked himself while squishing the rilakkuma with his left hand, the right doing the letter containing only three words, enough to describe the ecstasy he was feeling.
 
 

‘I love you. ♡’ Heart intended.
 
 

He stuck the green sticky note on the rilakkuma's small pocket, smiling on behalf since he wondered what Chanyeol's reaction would be...
 
 

...But no, sadly, he wasn't been able to see Chanyeol's reaction since instead of staying in the locker's area, proving his stealing of Chanyeol's locker password and gift would work, he just went into the cafeteria and ate with Kyungsoo and Luhan, completely forgotten what he did.
 
 

He only remembered what happened when the three went to the classroom after the bell.  He was crestfallen, enough said.  That describes it.  But somehow, he was slightly happy since Chanyeol was talking about the rilakkuma he received, smiling at the thought that he loved it.
 
 

He believed that it will only last one day, his blabbering about rilakkumas and how cute they are will end.  Yet he talked about it again the day after, weeks after, months...
 
 

And he got the thought.

Chanyeol was obsessed.
 
 

Obsessed for rilakkumas.
 
 

Oh my god, why?
 
 

Baekhyun pouted while hugging his books with his hand, his other clinging onto Kyungsoo’s arm who was struggling in getting his body out of his grip, “Baekhyun, god damn it stop clinging on me!”
 
 

Baekhyun's lips pouted even more, his lower lip sticking out, “You’re a bad friend.”
 
 

“You are not my friend.”
 
 

“I know.”
 
 

Kyungsoo cleared his throat and rolled his eyes.  “Just confess, motherfather!”  he slapped Baekhyun’s hands away from him, but instead, the dog clinged more onto him. Clingy!Baek.  “Kyunggie is concerned~”

Kyungsoo’s face scrunched up and he almost threw everything he ate in his entire life at what he said.  Ew?  Concerned his .  No, he is not concerned.  Why would he be?  Baekhyun is NOT his friend for Pete’s sake.
 
 

But yes.  He may feel concerned.  A tingy bit of concern left in his heart.
 
 

No.
 

 
“Duh, Baekhyun.  Duh.  Why the heck would I be concerned?  I just said that so you would stop going near me and leave me in peace.”
 
 

“I know you still want me going with you even though I completed my mission.”
 
 

“Can you read minds.”
 

 “No.”  Baekhyun said amusingly.  “But... you really want me to stay with you?  Awww Kyunggie~ I love you too.”

Kyungsoo acted like he wanted to puke.  Baekhyun hit his back in return.  “Thanks for the love, .”  he rolled his eyes again.  “No, but seriously, you need to confess.”  
 
 

Baekhyun became serious and bit his lip, hugging his books closer to his body.  “I already confessed, Kyungsoo.”
 

As if on cue, a deer invaded their talk and jumped or their backs.  “Yo, yo, yo~”
 
 

A faint scream was released from Baekhyun, Kyungsoo covered his mouth (since his eyes were wide enough) while clutching his heart.
 
 

“Luhan!  You scared me!”  Baekhyun rubbed his hands over his arm.  “Scared... scared... scared...”  Kyungsoo echoed sarcastically, clearing his throat in process.  “Eyo, watcha doin’?”  Luhan said.  Taking his place in the middle of them both.  Baekhyun pushed him and took the place.  “Hey!  I want to be the middle!”
 
 

Luhan's happy face was turned upside down.  “No.”  
 
 

“I should be the middle!”  Baekhyun argued like an elementary girl, earning some attention and weird gazes from the others.  Kyungsoo elbowed him and pointed at the people using his lips.
 
 

Baekhyun's eyebrows creased as he moved to right.  Luhan happily took his place back and put his arms on their shoulders.  “Where did you confess through, Baekhyun?  Through paper?  That's so last year.”  said Luhan, bringing up the situation again.
 
 

“You mean, last last last year?”  Kyungsoo said sarcastically.  “You get the point.”
 
 

“You don't know how embarrassing it is, though.  So you don't know what I feel.”  he said, taking his seat on the bench nearby.  He dangled his foot and his cheeks like a kid.  
 
 

‘Actually, I know what you feel.’  Kyungsoo said in his mind.

Kyungsoo stood up in front of him and put his hands on his hips, foot tapping the grass.  “But it's for your own good!  You will not be caught staring at the universe by the teacher anymore, you won't be sent to detention because you kept daydreaming and not listening to what the teacher is saying...”  he said, counting each ‘bad deed’ Baekhyun has done for the whole year.  Baekhyun cut him off and hissed.
 
 

“Aniyo!  That is so not me!”
 
 

“And you were caught drooling over a picture, someone saw you writing something on the back of your notebook, went saying ‘I love you, Chanyeol.’ on sleep...”  Luhan continued innocently.  Baekhyun pouted and stared at them both.  “Ah~ why are you guys like this---”
 
 

He immediately stopped talking.
 

Kyungsoo was confused as he call him.  “Uhh, Baekhyun....?”

 
“Oh my g-glob...”  Baekhyun's eyes were as wide as melons, staring at Kyungsoo and Luhan's back while stuttering like a nervous kid in front of a stage.  “He’s... h-he’s here...”
 
 

Luhan was afraid when Baekhyun started to sweat, bite his fingernails and lower his head.  “Ohmygooood Kyunggie!  What did Baekhyun saw?  Omo, omo, omo!  Is it aliens that were suppose to abduct him?  Spongebob?  Timmy Turner?”  Kyungsoo's hands flew all the way up to smack Luhan's head.  He didn't know how many times he did it, but he was sure, it was all worth it.
 
 

“Yes!  Well, duh, no!  Can you please stop watching this surreal stuffs, Luhan?  You're killing me...”  Kyungsoo said stressfully as he massaged his temples, reckoning Luhan gives opinions childishly.
 
 

“Oh my god!  Rilakkumas!”  
 
 

And they know what Baekhyun is worrying about.
 
 

They both look at his directions, earning smiles and waves as he frolic up to their place.  “Annyeonghaseyo!  Are you Baekhyun's friends?”
 
 

Baekhyun grew nervous as he yell in his mind.
 
 

OH MY ING GOD HE KNOWS MY NAME?!??,}%{*++]=€|€?!?!{*{+£!?
 
 

Baekhyun bit his lips hard to prevent himself from smiling.  Chanyeol knows his name... Chanyeol is here with him... Chanyeol is talking to his friends... Chanyeol asked if they know him...
 
 

Chanyeol knows Baekhyun.
 
 

“A-ah...?”  Kyungsoo was too stunned to talk at the giant in front of him, so instead, Luhan jumped at his back and shaked him.  “Yes!  Yes!  We're Baekkie's friends!  And you know what?  Baekhyun likes----”  Kyungsoo immediately snapped him out of his back, falling into the ground mushily.  “Rilakkumas!  Baekhyun likes rilakkumas yes we're his friends you Luhan!”  he said overreactingly, yet Chanyeol didn't mind.  Kyungsoo started to hold Luhan's neck softly as he tickle him.  “You !  Baekhyun was the one supposed to say that!”
 
 

Luhan started laughing maniacally and hitting the ground with his hands.  “Hahahaha!  Kyungsoo stop, hahahahhaha!  Omygod omygod he's killi--hahahaha--me hahahahahah!”
 
 

Sehun and Kai, the two bestfriends, were walking towards the same area.  But when they heard a couple of muffled laughs, they started to look at its direction.  
 
 

And they saw Kyungsoo and Luhan... laughing--no, in their perspective, flirting with each other.
 
 

Sehun smirked.  This Chinese brat is so flirty.  
 
 

Now look who's talking to his crush.  Kyungsoo, I swear I'll put bugs in your cabinet. Jongin frowned.
 
 

Kyungsoo likes Luhan.  And Baekhyun knew it.  He kept talking and blabbering about how he must confess even though he couldn't make it.  He knew Luhan does not like him and it hurts so bad.
 
 

Wait it's getting melodramatic here...
 
 

Moving on...
 
 

Chanyeol sat on the bench with Baekhyun.  Baekhyun looked up and acknowledge his presence.  The giant smiled at him and held the necklace on his neck, making his whole being shake and hands sweat.  “You like rilakkumas, too, Baekhyun?”  he said excitingly, shaking Baekhyun's arms in process.  Baekhyun went to nod frantically which made him a bit like of the sasaengs in front of the SM building.
 
 

“A-ahh?  Neh...”  he noticed that Chanyeol was staring at his rilakkuma necklace for too long.  And he got the feeling.  “D-do you want to have it?”
 
 

“Omg collarbones yes I would like to have it!”  Chanyeol said exasperatingly.  Baekhyun chuckled at how cute his crush were.  His hands went to his nape and then snapped the metal thing off, the rilakkuma made its way to Chanyeol's hands, who hugged it like his life depended on it.
 
 

“Oh my god, thank you, Baekhyun!  Thank you!”  surprisingly, he hugged him as well.  Baekhyun couldn't explain scientifically what he's feeling right now.  His heart was beating like crazy, he stomach started to scrunch and all the surroundings were started to be replaced by clouds.  He feels he was in cloud nine.  He slowly closed his eyes and went started hugging back Chanyeol, yet that moment was stopped by Luhan, making his hands hang up awkwardly.
 
 

“CHANYEOL IS HUGGING BAEKHYUN?!!!”  
 
 

Baekhyun swears that he will hunt that deer later.
 
 

“Luhan you ruined their ing moment!  I must get you out of here.”
 
 

If Baekhyun could cut his middle finger and raise it up in the air, he would do it.  Kyungsoo was hitting two birds with one stone.  He doesn't want Baekhyun's moment to be ruined by Luhan.  And now, he likes his presence to be invaded by Luhan and make their own moment as well.
 
 

“You have crazy friends.”  he hear Chanyeol on his side.  He hid his frown because why is he not hugging him?!  Yet he chuckled in agreement, “I know...”
 
 

Chanyeol checked his wristwatch and almost trip in hurriedness.  “Oh!  Bye Baekhyun!  Kris-hyung is waiting for me there!”  he pointed into some direction that Baekhyun could not make out where.  ”B-bye, Chanyeol...”
 
 

And... it was the first and last time he talked to him.
 
 

That was a couple of months ago, and Baekhyun's missing it.  Everytime he and Chanyeol would see each other in classes or corridors, Chanyeol would just smile and wave at him.  They haven't started a conversation again.  That's how it went.  He really wants to make the first move right now, but he was too afraid, too shy to do it.
 
 

It really hurts.
 
 
 
November 27, Thursday.
 
May it be cliche but the start of Baekhyun’s day rhyme is depending on the alarm clock itself.  He sluggishly pulled himself out of bed and like a kid forced to sleep on nighttime, he kicked frantically in the air.  Screaming ‘no, no, no’ in process.  He yawned while rubbing his eyes like a baby, then turned his head on the right where his calendar was.
 

November 27
SUNSHINE'S BIRTHDAY ♡
Objectives:
• Give him a gift (duh!)
• Write him a note telling him you love him! (should be anonymous)
• Don't let other's see you putting it in his desk! (except Luhan and Kyungsoo, of course)
 

“Oh my god, oh my sweet sweet god...”
 
 

It's Chanyeol's birthday and he hasn't brought him a gift.
 
 

He looked at his alarm clock again, almost letting it drop in haste.  “Oh my god!”  he screamed.
 
 

No gift for Chanyeol.  First kill.
 
 

20 minutes 'til classes.  Double kill.
 
 

He immediately rose up from his bed, running towards the bathroom which was 10 steps away.  He did most of his stuffs quickly, and he almost forgot to brush his teeth and if it hasn't been for the sigh he did, he would not know it.  
 
 

He bid goodbye on his parents before racing up to the rilakkuma store he, Kyungsoo and Luhan went through.  He slowly roamed the shop, wiping the glistening sweat forming on his forehead.  ‘What should I choose, what should I choose...’
 
 

He saw a medium sized rilakkuma plushie right exactly on his front, it's features were so cute and he swear if he's Chanyeol he'd pinch him to death.  He took it happily and went to the cashier office, eyeing his wristwatch for a while.
 
 

Oh my god 3 minutes left?!  Ani!  Why so sudden?
 
 

The cashier girl smiled at him as she swiped Baekhyun's credit card on the reader.  “I'm guessing this is for your girlfriend, sir?”

And he reckoned she was flirting with him.
 
 

The girl bent her body which made Baekhyun see her cleavage.  Yet Baekhyun didn't seem to care about that.  And he replied this without any hesitation.  “Aniyo, for my boyfriend.”
 
 

The girl seemed surprise since she suddenly straightened her body, yelling a “WHAT?!” that earned a couple of attentions from people around them.
 
 

Baekhyun smirked inwardly.  ‘Sorry to disappoint you but yes, I'm gay.  Hehehehe.’
 
 

Baekhyun bowed as he get the rilakkuma from the girl's hands, “Kamsahamnida, ahjumma.”  he smiled innocently and ran straight to the store's glass door.
 
 

“Yah!  You !  Come back here!”  the girl roared.  Baekhyun just chuckled and ran his way to his school.  
 
 

Oh my god!  10 minutes late!
 

 
He arrived his classroom, huffing and puffing uncontrollably.  He twisted the doorknob open and he actually forgot that classes started 12 minutes ago...
 
 

“Oh.”  he stared at the class who were gawking at him like a madman right now.  “Sorry I’m late my I come in...?”  he asked.  
 
 

“....Yes.”  they answered like a bunch of 1st graders.  With that ‘tone’.  (Yeeeeeeessssssss~)
 
 

“Thank you fans.”  he replied, waving at them like a mentally disabled person.
 
 

He made his way into his chair, he was supposed to take his seat when an arm stopped him from doing it.  “And who say’s you can seat, Mr. Byun?”
 
 

Baekhyun's eyebrows creased.  He pointed at his classmates.  “Them....?”
 
 

“But I'm the teacher.  Detention.”  she pointed towards the door.  Baekhyun rolled his eyes and dejectedly went out of the room.  When out of a sudden, Kyungsoo yelled out, making their attentions turn fully into him.
 
 

“Ma’am!  It's my fault why Baekhyun is late!”
 
 

The teacher raised her eyebrows tauntingly, “And why is that so?”
 
 

Kyungsoo eyed Baekhyun a -you’ll-pay-for-this look.  Whilst Baekhyun, as always, took it so differently.  ‘Aw!  Kyungsoo is so sweet I’ll marry him omf so disgusting but aww.’
 
 

‘Thanks!’ he mouthed.  Kyungsoo softened upon seeing this but
 
 

Ew.
 
 

So gay.
 
 

He needs to stop.
 
 

He rolled his eyes in response before turning his attention to their teacher.  “I ordered--hehe--asked him to buy me a box of strawberry milk because I’m ing craving for it but I didn’t know it will take this long so hhhhh.”
 
 

As soon as he stopped talking, the teacher was still writing on her paper, “Ordering his classmate around, cussing in front of a classmate... Yes.  Reflect to what you did, Do Kyungsoo and don't come back 'til recess time.”
 
 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes again as he wrote something on the paper the teacher gave him.  He handed it to Baekhyun secretly before flipping his hair and went out of the room.
 
 

Baekhyun heaved a sigh but seated anyway, the teacher shaking her head, “You’re lucky your best friend saved your sorry .  You need to fetch him in  the detention room later or else you'll end up their too.”  the teacher massaged her temples.  Muttering something like ‘stupid teenagers’ on the end.  Baekhyun nodded, clearly mot paying attention to what she is saying.
 
 

“Ok so I was saying before someone rudely interupted me,” Baekhyun saw her eyeing him, “x should be...”
 
 

Baekhyun unfolded the paper Kyungsoo gave him.  In a scribbly handwriting, he saw:
 
 

Reflect, Kyungsoo, reflect.  Stay their until recess.  You may not use cellphones, and other gadgets in there.  Stop ordering your classmates around and just mind your own .  And stop that cussing or else I’ll cut your tongue off.

Signed:  Mrs. Choi
 
 

yourself, ma'am yourself.  How can I reflect there if that damned room doesn’t even have a mirror seriously ill ing kick you.
 
PS:  damn you baekhyun u need to buy me a bubble tea later bye
 
 

He chuckled at the little note Kyungsoo gave him.  He decided to keep it and post it on his blog for people to know what kind of person Kyungsoo is.  Plus their teacher follows him.  
 
 

Nah, he won’t.  He loves Kyungsoo so much that he wouldn't dare put a piece of Kyungsoo's attitude on the internet.
 
 

Ew.  So disgusting.
 
 

Baekhyun pulled out his unused sticky note and decided to send Chanyeol a birthday message, and just stuck it on the pocket of the rilakkuma for other's not to see it.  The bell rang hours later, indicating it's finally recess time.  The most subject loved by students even though it's considered not one.  All students came rushing upon their doors and began crowding the corridors, racing for their favorite food in the cafeteria.  Baekhyun and Luhan faced each other and went in front of Chanyeol's desk.
 
 

“Wow.  Look at his crowded desk!  Full of chocolates and letters and flowers and... wait.  No rilakkumas?  Yours will be soooo special!”  Luhan exclaimed like a little kid.  Baekhyun giggled but can't help to wonder why Kyungsoo likes this little kiddo right here.  It amazingly amazing that Kyungsoo fell in love with someone with a childish attitude.  Yet he didn't mind.  He held the rilakkuma in his hand tight before sheepishly placing it on top of the desk.  Above one ferrero rocher chocolate perhaps given by a rich in their class.  
 
 

Baekhyun heaved a sigh.  “Will--will he like this?”  he asked Luhan and faced him.  Luhan shrugged.  “Mhm, maybe?  I dunno.”  he answered, confused.  “W-wait...  Aren’t you supposed to pick Kyungsoo in detention?  Luhan was cut off when Baekhyun started running off like a maniac towards the door.
 
 

“No , Sherlock, bye!”
 
 

The little devil smiled triumphly and chomped happily on his cheesecake.  “Nyayaya.  Gotcha, Byun Baekhyun~”
 
 
 

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun came back while laughing their asses off when they suddenly remembered Luhan’s corny pun he made quite last last year.  (“I want to Kris you all day, Kris you all night, and Park you ‘till the end of time.”)
 
 

“ this Luhan why the are you laughing there?  You look like a damned retard.  Or should I say you really are a damned retard?”  Kyungsoo said sarcastically, sitting in behalf while sipping his favorite strawberry milk he bought.
 
 

“Well, let's just say, mission accomplish.”  he raised both of his thumb to Kyungsoo, making the latter smile.  “Oh,”  he giggled.  “Good job, tard.”
 
 

Luhan did a peace sign.  “Thank you~”
 
 

Baekhyun sat on his usual place, wondering why is there a rilakkuma on his chair?
 
 

Oh wait, wait, hold the heck on.
 
 

This doll seemed familiar.
 

 
Isn’t this the plushie he gave Chanyeol months ago?
 
 

Oh dear God.  Is he rejecting him?
 
 

Oh wait, he doesn’t even know he is the one who gave him that doll..
 
 

Erase that one.
 
 

He seated slowly on his chair, clutching the rilakkuma towards his stomach.  Peeking through it’s pockets, hoping for a letter, he really did found one.  He opened the pink piece and read the contents dramatically.  No, joke.

 
Dear Baekhyun,
 
 

Oh, you little dum-dum.  Haven't you noticed that Kris is Chinese?  And the fact that you even wrote and translated I love you in Chinese doesn’t count your shyness, Kris can read Chinese for Pete’s sake, Baekhyun.
 
 

Nonetheless, I didn’t know the person I like knows that I really love rilakkumas.  And to start this thing off, I was addicted to rilakkumas in the first place.  Well not that ‘addicted’ addicted just simply, adoring the cuteness of those cute little son of a plushies.
 
 

I saw you putting one on my locker tho, this plushie right here, is my most treasured plushie because you know why?  
 
 

Because it's you who gave it.
 
 

I started talking and blabbering rilakkumas, believing the fact that if I would do that, you would notice me.  But sadly, dissappointingly, you didn’t.  
 
 

I was so happy when I saw you in the school garden.  For these past few months, I always wanted to talk to you, yet too shy to do it.  Our school garden moment, that’s my most treasured moment in my life.
 
 

I used that rilakkuma to talk to you.  I even hugged you, and got your necklace, too.  My heart was beating so fast when I did that, because I finally talked to you.
 
 

And , you know my name, Baek, you know me!  The ecstacy I am feeling was so overwhelming.  “In love” is not enough to describe what I feel for you. Because since the first time I saw you, I instantly fell in love with you.  
 
 

And wow, can I be considered as the luckiest person in the world?
 
 

Because all this time, the person I believed who will never like this crazy giant oaf back unexpectedly loves him too.
 
 

Please accept this plushie as a sign of my love, Baek-baek ♡
 

 
I love you. ♡
 
 

Baekhyun almost teared up while reading the letter.
 
 

He already knew it.
 
 

All this time, Kyungsoo and Luhan knew that both of them share the same feeling, the three (Kris, Kyungsoo and Luhan) somehow did a little collaboration to persuade them to confess so that things will never be too late.  But it will never be too late.  Too late wouldn’t arrive.
 
 

That’s because they love each other and are not willing to let go their feelings until the other one knows what he truly feels and rejects him.  But it never did happen, and it will never will.
 
 

Luhan made things go the right way.  He eyed him for a while, saw him laughing with Kyungsoo.  
 
 

Now he know why Kyungsoo loves him.
 
 

Then he looked at Chanyeol at his front.
 
 

The giant was smiling at him.
 
 

And in a deep yet soothing voice, he whispered.  “I love you Baek-baek!  Now can you say ‘I love you too’ personally too?
 
 

Baekhyun hugged him and giggled.  “Silly, I love you too.”
 
 

Chanyeol snickered and just hugged him back.
 
 

Baekhyun likes the owner of those plushies.
 
 

Unexpectedly, the owner of those plushies likes him too.
 

 
sorry its a tad late :-(  i've been busy with school late sooo, and i really have no time to posts this.  hehehe, btw, hope you guys liked it. ouo *throws sarang*