Tao sits on the bench; it’s been a long time since he could remember his last glance at the view of the night river, and playing basketball at night, with that certain someone that already gone for a long time. All he can remember is the last time they were play the basketball here and it’s quite fun at that time. They played for 2 hours before it was disturb by some fans and they quickly leave the place in separate ways.

He take a deep breath, closing his eyes, trying to consume all the memories that they left in this special place, in his mind and in his heart.

His life is okay, he is happy with his life. Even though EXO is not active anymore, they are all busy with their own schedules, solo singer, actor, MC, gone for military service or opening their own clothing brand, in this case, Tao.

He miss EXO members a lot, especially his best friend, Oh Sehun. He is busy being an actor now; He is happy for him, he is proud of him. He gained so much popularity during his debut in his first drama. Sehun always contact him at least twice a week just to catch up with their latest info or talking nonsense for hours, just like they always do.

He is going to meet him after he finishes his drama shoot routine tonight, but he decided to visit the place that hold most of his memories first, his sweet memories that he’ll never forget. The winter is coming; the night is colder than he thought. He whimpers and put both of his hands in front of his mouth, trying to warm it up with his hot breath.

The river is still giving him the same view from years ago as much as he can remember. The memories of the fateful day flashed inside his mind, he didn’t try to shut them down, or he does enjoy it, most likely.

His sharp memory could still remember how they spend most of their time playing basketball or just sitting on the riverbank eating ice cream, and being so naïve and have that talk about their plan for future.

“Do you believe in destiny?”

Tao startled and turn his head to see who is talking. There, stand the man that he never fails to miss every day after his departure. He still remember how he admires him, admire his appearance and sense of fashion, the one who teach him a lot, and giving him so much memories to remember.

Tao remain in silence, he doesn’t want to talk, he had this image of him running to that man who are standing handsomely and hug him tight, asking him to never let him go, again. But in reality, he is just sitting on the bench, awkwardly. He gets up from the bench and decided to leave the place. Maybe it’s just his imagination playing him, he thought.

“I’m sorry”

The man speaks softly as Tao take the first two steps before leaving him behind, but he can hear it clearly, making him stop and turn his body around, facing the man. He smile bitterly, knowing that the man in front of him is not part of his imagination, the man is real, it is Kris, or people call him as Yifan now.

There’s nothing to talk about, it’s funny, since there are lots of question he’s been meaning to ask him after all these years, but once he met him, he can’t even think of one word to be said.

Tao struggles to swallow the lump in his throat and finally able to speak the word that he never had a chance to speak of.

“Goodbye, Yifan”

“You have every right to be angry” Kris finally walks approaching Tao until they are only two steps apart.

Tao put both of his hands inside his coat pocket, standing there, not moving or even blinking. Trying to absorb all the situation in one glance, too afraid to even blink and accept the reality if this is all just his imagination, once again.

“I’m not angry, I was angry, Yifan.”

“I miss you, Tao”

“Of course you do” Tao rolls his eyes.

“I’ve been meaning to contact you-“

Tao shows his bitter smile once again, “Yeah, right”

“I’m sorry” Kris bowed his head down; he is struggling so much to control his emotion, the pain that he has been holding for years, it’s still there somewhere.

“Sorry is not going to change everything, Yifan.”

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, Tao stood up with the look of complete hopelessness on his face. One perfectly round drop edged down his numb cheek. He looked away, didn’t want Yifan to see this side of him, the one that holds the pain that he tries to forget every day. But thankfully the garden lights is too dim to irradiate his leaky eyes.

“I do believe in destiny” Tao whimpers

“What is it, Tao?” Kris trying to understand the words coming from Tao’s mouth.

“Your question, earlier”

Kris continues to stand in silence, looking at Tao who are standing there, trying to control his tears. Even after all these year, even after his absence, Kris still able to recognize the time when Tao trying to hold back his tears and it hurts to see him like this. He’s been living in guilty for years. He’s been longing to meet him, but being too coward to admit that he made a mistake long time ago, mistakes that cost him so much he deserves every bit of it.

He approach Tao in the end, reaching out Tao’s face, and slowly wipe his tears with his thumb.

“Please forgive me-” He said, feeling like he’s been chocked up with the words for such a long time and relief as it comes out from his lips.

Tao didn’t say anything, he close his eyes as the tears keeps streaming down from his eyes. He promises himself not to cry for Kris anymore. He promises himself to be happy and value himself better, but this situation is beyond his control and Kris’ warm hand cupping his cheek doesn’t helping either.

“I made a mistake, leaving you behind”

“You left us”

“I know, I-“

“Why are you here?” Tao interrupted him and silently asking him to remove his hand from his wet cheek.

“I was just- trying to replenish our memories, but its fate that I met you here, maybe it’s the right time for me to finally explain everything to you”

“You don’t owe me any explanation, it’s your decision and it’s your life, not mine”

“But-“

“I was just getting ready to finally let you go, Yifan. I don’t get why this destiny ruining my plan to get over you, just in time”

Tao take a step backward, getting a little space between them, and continue to talk with his husky voice.

“I don’t understand why destiny taking us back here just to hurt me even deeper than it already is. I can’t do this anymore. No. I don’t want to do this anymore, Yifan. Maybe I never had a chance to say this before, but thank you for the memories you gave me”

“I’ll do anything-“

“I wish you happiness and good luck”

“Please…”

Tao walking backwards slowly, wiping his eyes and tried to smile to Kris “I’m not ready for this”

“Don’t go”

“Should I trust you?”

“Give me a chance to prove it”

Kris can’t hide the hoarseness of his voice as he finally stop holding back those pain and feeling it completely all over his broken aching heart.

Tao turn his body around, ready to leave all the pain behind, maybe it is for the best, right now. He starts walking away from Kris, faster than he expected.

“I guess it’s my turn to wait for you, Tao. I’ll wait for you, I promise you this” Kris shout loud enough for Tao to hear.

Tao didn’t stop, he whispers to himself and smile. “Until we meet again, Yifan. Until we meet again...”

Those special memories of you will always bring a smile.

If only I could have you back for just a little while.

Then we could sit and talk again just like we used to do.

You always mean so much to me, and do you know? You still do.

Let’s make a new start, new beginning.

Until we meet again.