Summer

Today there was a new assistant coming to help Hakyeon today. If this was like all of the others that came before, they would try to get to know him, get upset and then leave. Never coming back. It wasn’t his fault, yet no one arrived and actually stayed put. There was a gnawing feeling like a piece of candy stuck to your teeth that it was the same old story that made Hakyeon’s mouth twist.  He was as you would call anyone with this disease, Mute. Not because he chose not to talk, he really couldn’t. It started at age 14. The young ripe age where all a kid could do was talk. Not the most intelligent chatter around, but it was there nonetheless. Hakyeon was a pretty popular kid too. Everyone in his school knew him and his loud voice that carried through the halls and out the windows. One vacation Hakyeon was having, he could count it, as one of the worst nights he had ever dealt with when he screamed at the top of his lungs. It helped him relieve stress, that and a cold glass of water. The scream was like any other, hard and scratchy. The water was not. Flowing in it was a deep red stream of blood, ribboning into the glass like paint. He found out later in the week he had a tumor in his throat.

Depression started right where the disease left off. Sleepless nights and tear stained pillows until he went to where he lives his days now. Central Seoul Hospital was like every other plain hospital. Reeking of ammonia and the moans of sick patients. His room was on the 2nd floor by the windows. The view was of the inner garden, which he was thankful for. The breeze in the summer swept right up to his red hair. The tips of his bangs tickling his eyes. He asked for the window seat with the thick notepad they gave him. His friend Jaewhan came by every single day since he was admitted, laying with him in the bed watching crappy drama and eating the specially made lunches he brought. The nurses let him sleep there overnight sometimes even. “The poor boy needs some company”, they said.

On the 50th day in the hospital the first assistant came in. He had scruffy white hair and he wore his hat’s backwards. Despite that, he dressed for the job, but not without his new sneakers he wore every day he visited. His name was Wonshik, but the nametag said Ravi. Hakyeon deemed him a nice person by how he didn’t talk over Hakyeon and showed him his new songs he had written, knowing Hakyeon liked music and dancing. Their days went by smoothly until Wonshik had to go abroad to America to further his music career. There was no goodbye and no word from him after. Hakyeon didn’t sleep that night.

On the 127th day in the hospital, the next new assistant came. He wasn’t permanent, but he was a bright ball of energy, that was was a surprise to Hakyeon. The beaming smile and crescent eyes belonged to a young Han Sanghyuk. He was a therapy major fresh from his junior year of high school. Apparently he jumped at the chance to take care of a mute person, even though he seemed like the kind that liked to talk. Hakyeon felt bad not being able to talk back. They played games more than anything, Sanghyuk explaining one day that even if Hakyeon couldn’t speak, he could with his hands, and it made the older tear up at the thought.  Sanghyuk was great at board games, while Hakyeon tired his best to win but was humble when he lost to the boy. He couldn’t help but smile warmly at the grin on his face that went cold when he realized he might be hurting Hakyeon’s feelings. On the 400h day, Sanghyuk had to go to college for his first time. He handed Hakyeon his phone number and walked out of the hospital.

Now here, 10 years later, the red haired male sat in the outdoor garden upon hearing the old news of a new assistant. He wasn’t any fancy college student or musical prodigy, Hakyeon had heard the nurses whispering about one day by the lunch room. Actually, he was quite the ladies man it seemed like. He was the same age as him, 24, and his name was Taekwoon. Leaning his head on the trunk of the tree he was laying against, Hakyeon closed his eyes into the warm morning breeze. Everyone was asleep, this being a quiet time of the day here and he took advantage of every second he could to be alone. With the petals of the pink flowered tree flowing around him, all it needed was a sappy theme song to become a drama.
“Are you supposed to be sitting out here alone like this?”

Almost annoyed, Hakyeon whipped his head up, thinking he could talk again for a second before closing his mouth shut. There was a man about a foot taller than him in height with eyes as thin as almonds and hair as black as the night sky, whisking carefully above his eyes. He wasn’t wearing the hospital grade uniforms like the others. It was a black sweater that reached past his hands and pants to match. Assuming he was here to see someone else, Hakyeon shook his head yes. He closed his eyes again waiting for the man to sit next to him when he was pulled forward slowly, forehead lightly tapping against something equally as soft. The man was now fixing his hospital gown, their faces just an inch apart. Hakyeon grabbed at the man’s wrists, face desperate and mouth crying out silence as their eyes finally met.

“..Are.. Are you Cha Hakyeon?”

                                                                                                         Fall

    The past few months were filled with the man, who Hakyeon and his racing heartbeat found out was the Taekwoon, letting Hakyeon type out his story. He only nodded quietly and told him about himself in return, Whatever Hakyeon wanted to know.  The days went by smoother than they usually would around Halloween. The nurses dressed up in their costumes, flaunting around the place like it was a fashion show. The only ones that made Hakyeon chuckle were the nurses staying in their normal uniforms, claiming that to actually be their costume. Originality at it’s best. Today, the topic was just that. Halloween. After telling the story of how Hakyeon got trapped in disease limbo for the rest of his life, his first operation, his birthday, and his hobbies, this was the next thing to discuss. Taekwoon had tried to cheer Hakyeon up with his own costume, which all he could accomplish without blushing steam from his ears was a headband with cat ears on it. It was adorable, the younger male was told with a smile. After a few minutes of writing, a piece of paper was passed over to Taekwoon.

“..Let’s see. When you were five you dressed as a giraffe. Seven was an idol. Ten was a ghost. When you were fourteen you went as a dancer…You stopped when you were diagnosed..? Makes sense..”

Hakyeon rubbed his hands together as he shyly looked up. He didn’t exactly have any time to live his normal life cooped in the hospital. It was something he missed. Playing video games with Jaewhan and Hongbin as they laughed and talked endlessly about their hopes and dreams. Dancing until his legs went numb. They were simple things, but they were part of his life. No one has asked him since about what he thought, so he never brought it up.

“Hakyeon.. How many exit visits have you saved up since you’ve been here..?”

Almost missing the question after hearing Taekwoon’s soft, feminine voice he had come to love, Hakyeon jolted and mouthed a number but then face palmed and held up his hands.

“Ten?”

Taekwoon took out his phone and went to text, getting up to walk to the nurses station without another word. He returned with a pink piece of paper he attached to the clipboard on the front of Hakyeon’s hospital bed.  Hakyeon was completely confused as his cream sweater was thrown to him and his IV were carefully taken out by the nurses. Why where they smiling?

“I’m so happy for you Hakyeonnie~ You’ve never left here once for a day of your own like this since you came here! You’ve never had any cute friends come visit every weekend like him either. He’s a keeper, you know. Don’t let him get away~” The nurse winked at him, leaving his face as red as his hair.

“Are you feeling okay, Hakyeon..?”

A hand was about to touch his forehead when Hakyeon quickly got up, buttoning his sweater messily. He put on his shoes, waiting impatiently at the door. This assistant was getting on his nerves.

On the day of ghouls and candy, Hakyeon went with Taekwoon to someone’s house for a Halloween party. He wouldn’t tell him who it was but knowing this man for the short time he did, it was a sneaky surprise. Hakyeon’s hospital robe was replaced with a white turtleneck and black wings on his back. It was simple and it would keep his still healing scar on his throat safe.

Having fallen asleep in the car, he awoke a short while later to Taekwoon, still wearing his adorable cat ears lightly shaking his shoulder. He couldn’t tell if he was too tired, but a small smile graced Taekwoon’s lips as he helped him from the passenger seat to the front door. In the middle of rubbing his eyes awake, a short, inaudible cracked voice appeared from his front.

It was his friend, Lee Hongbin, standing in his front door with shaky legs. Eyes b with tears as he held his hands out, almost afraid to touch his best friend. They hadn’t seen each other in months, Hongbin busy with his music lessons and Hakyeon, well.. In the hospital. The younger’s hair was still a light sun kissed brown with eyes round like pennies.

“Who’s there, Hongbin- ah? Ah! Hakyeon!”

Following behind Hongbin was his good friend Lee Jaewhan, who didn’t waste a second hugging him to the ground.

“W-wait, hyung! Your hurting him.. He’s still weak!”

“He’s fine! His operation this year was months ago, right Hakyeonnie? How are you feeling?”

Hakyeon giggled at his friends cute worry and mouthed a ‘pretty good’ as he put a thumbs up.  He motioned up to Hongbin and they all went inside. The young brunette still clutching tightly to his arm when they sat on the couch.  

Hakyeon had known Hongbin since middle school. They were both in the art program and they got along quickly. Hongbin loved Hakyeon’s voice, especially when he sang, which baffled the others. They didn’t understand how he could take listening to so much talking every day. Hongbin was there the very day Hakyeon was admitted to the hospital and was there for every surgery when the tumor came back. It wasn’t life threatening, it was just a pain in the to keep cutting out every time it returned. In turn, Hakyeon was there when his heart got broken, when he realized he was gay, and for every single birthday he spent alone. . Hakyeon was tired of seeing his friends pained face every time.

Jaewhan wasn’t dressed too fancy. He had practically bought out the entire candy aisle a week early so they wouldn’t have to walk around the gross neighborhood he lived in with Hongbin. They were a bit too old for it, but everyone knew they real reason was to make sure Hakyeon didn’t get sick.

“So! Horror? Slasher? Too bad it’s good movie? How about we let the new kid pick? Taekwoonie, is it?”

“..It’s Taekwoon, Jaewhan. Just  Taekwoon. I don’t mind whatever movie we watch. Hakyeon? You can pick.”

Jaewhan handed him the films and the tanned boy pouted in thought. They did watch a bad movie every year, and it always was a good laugh. For all the he had put them and Taekwoon through becoming sick, he wanted them to enjoy themselves as much as possible. So let the tradition hold. Bad movie it is.

Putting the other movies on the floor and holding up one with a devilish grin that couldn’t help but look adorable, he passed it to Hongbin, whom quickly placed it in the machine. He was about to go back to his seat next to Hakyeon when he noticed Taekwoon looking fondly at his red haired friend. Not a look of interest, but maybe admiration. His face was too stoic to be read. He decided to let them be. To be honest, they looked like the perfect couple, but Hongbin did have a habit of thinking like that if the situation looked good enough. Plus Hakyeon was flamboyant as it is.

“Ghost from Seoul? This is terrible! Great choice Hakyeonnie!”

The next few hours consisted of Jaewhan almost crapping his pants from laughing at the horrible acting, Hongbin eating all of the popcorn while trying to not get hit by a sudden flying fist, and Hakyeon and Taekwoon quietly watching the movie. With the occasional smirk at how silly Jaewhan was looking.
By the end of it, the sky and city were calm and quiet. Exactly how the room now was. Jaewhan and Hong bin a sleeping pile on the floor, leaving the two oldest by themselves on the couch. Taekwoon was about to fall asleep himself when there was a tug on his shirt. His eyes were puzzled when he looked to his side, and Hakyeon was trying to mouth something, his eyes tearing up.

“..Is there something you want to tell me? Just like we always do, Hakyeon. I’ll get some paper and a pen for you. I’m not sure where Jaewhan keeps it, but I’ll find it eve-”

A hand quickly grabbed his wrist as Hakyeon looked him right in the eyes. Glazed over like he was drunk, but maybe it was the moonlight. It suited him so well.

“…nk.ou”

Sounding more like a forced cough, Taekwoon went speechless. The doctors said even with the countless surgeries, the chance of Hakyeon even getting to the point of saying a syllable would take years. Taekwoon was smart enough to tell that was him trying to thank him, so he knelt on the ground in front and pulled Hakyeon closer until their foreheads touched. A few drops of tears hitting his knee as breathless sobs filled the air.

Hakyeon needed this. Year after year stuck in that plain white room with barely any interaction with his past life was tearing him apart. How many times had he taken being able to just sit in the grass and sing like it was free? How many things had he said that he wishes he could take back, or say them again? A huge part of his life had been taken from him and he was pissed. Taekwoon gave some of it back tonight.

A warm thumb graced his cheek, wiping away some of the tears he hadn’t realized he cried.

“You don’t have to thank me. Just try to be Cha Hakyeon again. That’s all I need.”

                                                                                               Winter

The next holiday was Christmas, which meant that the hospital was going to be staffed with less nurses. Which meant Hakyeon would be all alone, once again.

“Hakyeon? Cha Hakyeon?”

A nurse, donned in a red and green version of the normal nurses uniform opened the door to his ward and Hakyeon sat up. He had been listening to some Christmas music to get into the mood. Why not, right? He pulled out his ear buds to tell her he was listening and she smiled, adjusting the room temperature to be more warm.

“Today is the day before Christmas Eve, Hakyeon.. Why don’t you go out and have some fun for the night? I won’t tell the other nurses you snuck out. Come on, I’ll even dye your hair nice and fresh and get your clothes from your apartment. Sound good?”

Hakyeon bit his lip and looked out the window. It was starting to snow and he needed it. He just wasn’t sure who to spend it with. Hongbin and Jaewhan were probably going to invite him later, but it was still the morning. Taekwoon was out of the question since he had his own life to live. As much as he cared for Hakyeon, the butterflies living wildly in his stomach were telling him to keep his distance. It felt like a schoolgirl crush. Those thin eyes and plump lips were dangerous. Dangerous. But Hakyeon needed a bit of danger.

“Text your new boyfriend! The assistant! I think he’d love to spend some time with you. I know he’s been here for every new surgery you’ve had on your tumor since he got here.”

Hakyeon’s face went beet red as he held his two pointer fingers up in an X, shooing the nurse from his room.

                                                                                                       ----

The snow was starting to flow when Taekwoon got his coffee in his favorite café by his apartment. The contrast of the cold, crisp air outside the door was heavenly to the warm, gooey smell on the inside. Maybe he’d treat himself and get a cinnamon bun to go with his drink. He removed his red scarf and took out his laptop to check on some things. What he didn’t expect was to hear his phone buzz, lit up screen revealing the name of his voiceless friend. He thought he had to be busy in the hospital since it was indeed a holiday and he was pretty sure Hakeyon had a surgery he was going to attend later. Not minding it as he wasn’t busy the entire day, he told the boy where he was. The only thing he was unsure of is why he answered so fast.

A half hour later, the door chimed open and Hakyeon appeared in a thick black coat, eating him alive. Not knowing where Taekwoon was, he went up to the counter and hesitantly signed for his usual drink and pastry. Luckily the cashier knew sign language and rung up his order happily, but with the usual pity of talking with someone with any disability.

His phone now ringed with a message from Taekwoon.

                                                                                -NEW MESSAGE:
                                                                                -From: Taekwoonie
                                                                                -In the back by windows. And you look ridiculous.

Taekwoon was in the spot he said he was, motioning with his hand to a chair he pulled up next to him and Hakyeon followed suit. Hot Chocolate with a hint of coffee and extra whip and a cherry tart in hand. He looked as nice as he always did. This time his jet black hair parting a bit where they were soaked from the snow flakes. Hakyeon blushed before he could even sit down.

“..Why did you call today? Don’t you have things to do in the hospital?..”

They let me sneak out for the night. They feel bad for me..

“ I see.. You feel bad also, right? Not all pity is bad pity.. They care about you Hakyeon.”

Now, Hakyeon didn’t know why a smile crept up on his face, but with the steam from his hot chocolate, the scenery outside and the warm feeling in the café, this all seemed right. Being with Taekwoon seemed right.

I know..
Taekwoon?
Do you.. Do you think I’ll ever be able to talk again? I used to be so happy. I loved to talk, loved to sing. All because I loved seeing everyone’s happy faces when I made them smile or laugh. It made me feel good to make someone else feel good.. I can’t still do those things without a voice people can listen to..

Taekwoon didn’t move as he sighed dejectedly. He placed his computer in his bag and wrapping his scarf around Hakyeon’s neck and handing him an extra thick sweater he had packed in his bag, just in case.

“Now you look human and not like a marshmallow.. Now let’s go.”

There was no time to react before they were both pulled from the café, walking hurried up the street.

They ended up in a field, looking empty for miles and miles. Nothing but cold snow as far as the eye can see. It was like a dream. A dream and they were the only two inside. Hakyeon went to take out his notepad to speak when his hand was hit, the papers landing a few feet away.

“Your not going to talk with that today. Your going to just be you. Laugh.. Smile.. You don’t need to use words to be yourself. I know you miss it but..”

Taekwoon hung his head and stood back up with confidence as he ackwardly took Hakyeon’s cold hands.

“..You have me now.”

Time froze just like snow. Was he serious? Is this a confession? Hakyeon never had anyone fall for him and was as romantic as this. As awkward as Taekwoon felt, Hakyeon thought he broke a rib as he tackled Taekwoon to the snowy floor, face red and hot as it nuzzled into the younger’s shoulder. They both layed there for a while until Hakyeon leaned up, almost entranced by the scene unfolding. They were completely alone and yet it felt like no one else could matter. Taekwoon’s eyes were half lidded, trying not to focus on the chick flick type scene he just re enacted and the chick named Cha Hakyeon he swooned without intending. Or not. You truly live your life once and clearly no one was disgusted. He cupped Hakyeon’s red cheeks, from the cold and the moment and softly kissed his purple lips, the other melting onto him in return.  By the time they left for Leo’s house, it was dark and they held hands the entire way as the white snow flakes cascaded around them. It really was Christmas.

                    
                                                                                                              Spring

The next few months were the best time of Hakyeon‘s life. No tumors were returning. He was with Taekwoon now, and he was the happiest he could ever be. He had even been trying to talk again every now and then. They were nothing but quick words, but it was something. Proof his throat wasn‘t a lost cause. The weather was getting warmer too and he planned on going with Taekwoon to the park. There was a new crepe stand and he was a er for sweets. There was always also the feeling of should he be doing this, but he deserved to be treated good after all he had been going through, and he knew Taekwoon was more than happy to spend hours laying on the couch with a warm cup of tea with him after a long day.

It was two in the afternoon when Taekwoon stopped by today. Not having spoken in any way the whole day so far, it was now or never to surprise him and he had twenty seconds to do it.

“T-..taekwoon.. Taekwoonie..”

His hand was still on the door handle when he thought he was hearing things.

“..H..Hakyeon..? Did you-”

“..Taekwoon.. I just wanted to say thank you.. Again. I’ve never been this happy. I’ve been so foolish.. I have so much of my life to catch up on, and I really lo-”

“Hakyeon.. ? What’s wrong..?”

“I lo-.. I lov-..”

It was like something was caught in his throat, but it was coming at an incredibly fast rate. This was a bad idea. It was pushed too far.. It was..

Hands clasped to his mouth just in time for a burst of blood to splash from his mouth, harsh coughs making it feel like he had swallowed fire. He could barely see Taekwoon pulling nurses into the room with a horrified expression before the lights went out, and maybe for good.

                                                                                                           ---

“I’m sorry Taekwoon, but this might be serious. No one knew he was trying to fix his voice. It’s probably a laceration in his throat.. A cut, from the past surgeries, we don’t know.. He’s been clear of the disease for now, but this might be a relapse.. We’ll leave you alone for a while.. Were sorry..”

The nurses left to go help in the operating room with Hakyeon as Taekwoon held his head in his hands. The sight was horrifying, he couldn’t forget it if he tried. The sheets next to him still splattered with red liquid. His boyfriend’s pleading face, reaching for him before he passed out. It was all too much.

“Excuse me.. Do you know what happened? This is Hyung’s room but he’s not here.. And I see a lot of blood, so..”

A tall boy was standing in front of him. Hair bleach blonde and gelled up a bit. He recognized his pouting lips and face from Hakyeon’s assistant file. Han Sanghyuk, the fifth assistant Hakyeon ever had. He stayed the longest and had a great record. He must be liked a lot.

“..Sit Sanghyuk. He’s in surgery right now.”

“Ah.. You know my name.. you must be Taekwoon. It’s nice to meet you..! I promised Hakyeon hyung I’d come back once I had my vacation from my music academy. Guess I was a little late, huh?”

Sanghyuk’s face was sullen, but went to a slight smile as Taekwoon ruffled his hair.

“Sanghyuk! You got here before me.. Man and I left before you too..”

“W-wonshik! Hakyeon hyung.. It’s not looking good.., right Taekwoon hyung..?”

The man with hair as white as the snow from winter scratched the back of his head in deep concern and thought. He knew him too. Kim Wonshik, or Ravi as Hakyeon labeled him in the records. He was his assistant for a while but had to leave for personal reasons.
“This is the latest assistant? Must be Jung Taekwoon. I’m Ravi.. I think you’ve been with him longer than all of us combined.. He must like you a lot, huh?”

“…Yea..”

A couple hours later, Hakyeon was placed back in his room right as Jaewhan and Hongbin arrived.  Jaewhan kept himself locked next to the bed while Hongbin stood a bit farther back, casually talking with Wonshik. It was hard to ignore the blush on his face as he rubbed his own hands together.

“Hakyeonnie.. This.. Is good though, right? No more tumors.. It’s getting  better..!”

“I’d like to believe that hyung..? Right, Wonshik?”

He nodded and Jaewhan smirked, pretending to cry.

“Oh, Hongbinnie! Your in love, I can’t believe it.. I’m going to have to send you to your wedding soon! How am I going to live alone?!”

“H-hyung!”

“..Jaewhannie.. Stop teasing Hongbin.. But I better be best man, right..?”

Heads turning to a voice they barely recognized, for some never even heard in their life, Hakyeon weakly smiled, eyes still a bit closed. His voice was even new to himself, not hearing a trace of it in almost ten tears. Hongbin didn’t even realize Wonshik was still holding his hand for support when he came running into Hakyeon’s arms.

Taekwoon smiled as he grabbed Hakyeon into a gentle hug, secretly kissing his ear. There was barely any damage to Hakyeon’s throat. It was a bubble that formed from the past few operations and talking to Taekwoon just made it burst. A few stitches and it was good as new.  It would hurt to speak for a while, but to talk again, even a little,was worth every day in this hospital. There was one thing to say before Hakyeon’s true life started.

“Taekwoonie..?”

“What is it..”

“I love you, stupid.”

---------

This isn't too great, but I tried my best!

Thank you for reading!

-Yuumimi