Sungyeol traced  Myungsoo’s features from his forehead to his eyes to his lips to his chin. His heart clenched with pure happiness as he watch the lashes that touch his lover’s cheeks , as he watch the steady rise and down of his lover’s breath and he is sure he can’t be more happy that how he’s feeling right at the moment. He want to watch Myungsoo till the younger awake but instead , he didn’t . Sungyeol should have kiss Myungsoo’s forehead , should have tucked him in more tightly , should prayed the Lord of Myungsoo’s soul to keep , but he didn’t . He rushed out from the bed , collect his clothes shattered on the floor and made his way out to hang out with his close friends.

…..

‘yeol , Im going to my class. There’s a spaghetti for lunch on the table’

‘okay..’

‘bye Yeol , I love you’

Myungsoo dashed out from the apartment , already late for his class . it was the day where Sungyeol is off from his job at the company and he is going to enjoy the day . Being wake up by his lover’s scream early the day , made a smile creeped to his handsome face , and he lightly chuckles and shakes his head. Myungsoo is so cute when he dashed to bathroom , washed his face and do his morning routine in a few minutes . if it’s a normal day , Myungsoo would fixed his tie , kissed his cheeks and whishper his goodbye. A regret blooms in his heart as he remembered he didn’t sent Myungsoo off with kiss and a warm goodbye. He should have pulled Myungsoo into his arms and  kiss his forehead  and whishper a goodbye and wish him to return safely and hold the door as he lover walk out.

 He should.

……..

Sungyeol always loves it , how Myungsoo brightens up whenever Sungyeol praised him . Call him pretty ,  telling him how good he is , everything that make Myungsoo happy. Thus he make sure to always calls Myungsoo names , like baby –it’s Myungsoo favourite ,or pats his head softly, or kiss him tenderly or even reward him with something else. He’ll praises Myungsoo each day , he’ll kiss him senseless , he claimes him everyday if that what keep Myungsoo happy , except , he didn’t. Sometimes his works is just too much that Myungsoo goes to bed alone , falling asleep in attempt to waits for Sungyeol to finally slides next to him. Sometimes , he is just to tired to even notice the little things Myungsoo done for him –like thanks the meals , and sometimes he just didn’t care as he falls asleep or walk out for works , that he forgot to give another tender kiss to his lover .

 Eyes waiting and hoping.

..........

Sungyeol is sure not someone that is up for cuddles , or skinships or too much clingy Myungsoo . He’s not a type of boyfriend that would tell you ‘ I love you’ often . No , he’s not. When all Myungsoo hopes that he do . But still , he love Sungyeol . Even the thought of upsetting Sungyeol  make a tears pooling in his eyes , thus , he accept as much as what Sungyeol could gives , and ask for nothing more . When Sungyeol should know that once a time , he need to tells his lover , to shows his lover , how  much he need him , how much he appreciate him , and how  much he love him.  

But he didn’t , when he should.

Because he’s sure that Myungsoo knew , even when he didn’t said it.

….

Myungsoo always want to go out for date whenever he didn’t have classes . He would love to go walks around the park with Sungyeol , or watch the sky with Sungyeol , or have a lunch with Sungyeol or just simply spend times with Sungyeol , it doesn’t matter what they do , where they go , he just want to be with his boyfriend , in a very little time he have . But the opportunity to do so is rare . Sungyeol is a busy person , working at the famous company didn’t give him much time as much as his salary , but Myungsoo is grateful nevertheless. At least Sungyeol still love him , and sometimes , when Sungyeol is in his good mood , he made Myungsoo more than happy too as he promised Myungsoo to take him out the next day , and if he can’t make it , he promise the day after , and if he still couldn’t make it , he promise the days after days .

And Myungsoo is left waiting , holding onto the promises.

……

Sungyeol watch as Myungsoo lies on the white bed , in the white room . His lover look so angelic , so beautiful , so peaceful , so innocent when that is what his lover made of. His left hand holding tight Myungsoo’s , never ever intending to let go . He refuse to acknowledge the too pale skins , the too cold skins , the eyes that remain shuts since he arrive , and the limp hand that he is holding.

Now he know that he should hold Myungsoo’s hand each night as his lover falling asleep . he know that he should tucks in his lover more tightly , he should kiss him softly , and prays the good to keep the soul and to returns it the next morning.

He realize that each times Myungsoo walk out the door , he should pulls him in gently , into his arms , and lock his lips to his lover , and whishper him goodbye and wish him to comeback safely before finally letting his lover go while holding the door.

He know now , that he should praises Myungsoo , calls him names , buys thing that he likes , shower him with love , because he also know how much Myungsoo love that , being taking care by the person he cares too much. Myungsoo is just that passionate. Too much loves . To much cares .

Sungyeol also see that he should always tell Myungsoo ‘I love you’ as often as he can , because , Myungsoo is always like that , always want more although he never  asks for it. And its because sometimes insecurities could get the best of Myungsoo . Even the thought that someone else make Sungyeol happy could sent a frown to his forehead , thinking of how could he make Sungyeol more happy than the person did.

Sungyeol would spend all his days with Myungsoo if he’s see what about to happen. He never promises tomorrow what he could do with Myungsoo today. He would go everywhere Myungsoo want to go , he spend everything he have just to see that dimpled smile –his favourite. He should have seen  , should have known that sometimes , sometimes , it would be the last , that tomorrow never promises to comes. And he’s about to regret yesterday as well as the days before. And before it’s too late , he embrace the second chance.

He looked back at Myungsoo , heart pained with how pale his lover looks . Sungyeol slowly rise from his seat , hand slowly leaving Myungsoo’s eventhough his heart screams ‘no’ .  He extended his arms , grabbing the end of the white comforter and pull in up to Myungsoo’s chest , tucked in his lover tightly , ever so warmly. His hand leave the end of comforter and cupped Myungsoo cheeks , with both of his palms , he traces the beautiful features ,

‘my angel’

He brushed the bangs out of Myungsoo’s forehead , and , ever so softly , he land a kiss on it , move down and kiss the eyelids , and further down to kiss that pale and cracked lips , ever , ever , so softly , full of love and sincerity.

He almost pulled back as he feels a slight movement , almost , as he keep kissing Myungsoo . Still that slow and soft kiss. He finally pulled back to stare into the brown orbs of Myungsoo , hand searching to intertwine with Myungsoo’s , whilst avoiding the one with the IV drops.

‘yeol’

A pain tugged his heart hearing that coarse and cracked voice calling out for him.

‘shh baby , im here’

Sungyeol Myungsoo cheeks with his thumb as the other one still grasping softly on Myungsoo’s hand.

‘what happen?’

‘an accident , a drunkard drived  carelessly and he..he..oh God Myungsoo I thought im going to lose you’

Sungyeol whisper quick and fast , failing himself as tears rolling down his cheeks.

‘im sorry , Myungsoo im sorry I’d hurts you before , im sorry I didn’t take care of you enough , im sorry I always busy , im sorry that I rarely told you I love you , im sorry we couldn’t spent more time together , im sorry im treating you like a jerk , for not noticing all you’ve done for me , for not being good enough , for not loving you enough , for not caring enough , im sorry Myungsoo , please forgive me ‘

 Sungyeol couldn’t talk more , each time is getting harder and harder as he’s sobbing uncontrolbly.

‘Myungsoo , you are so dear too my heart’

A weak squeeze on his hand make him divert his gaze back to Myungsoo. Instantly he see a smile –althought without his favourite dimples , myungsoo still look like an angel , sent to earth just for a guy like him. He squeeze Myungsoo hand back , gently.

‘I love you’

And Myungsoo’s smile brighten ,

‘I love you too’

the ending is not what i have in mind , but for some stupid reason and idrk i couldnt make myungyeol apart from each other . 

so this happen.

and i do hope you enjoy

kindly points where i do wrongs okay

farewell

carpe diem !