The first snow of that afternoon is falling gently all around me -
if only, I could call you
A year has already passed us by yet here I am still missing your touch
"All alone" I say to myself…

She watches as the first snowflakes appear, gently swirling and spiralling downwards. Not all the white specks make it to the ground, many land on the crowds of people bustling in and out, melting onto their gloves and beanies. Some of the flakes get caught on the branches of the evergreen pine in the middle of the town square, forming the beginnings of what will be a thick white blanket. And some land in the middle of her outstretched palm, the cold air biting at her bare skin.

"It's the first snow…It's so pretty"

***

"Yeoboseyo?" She closes her laptop with one hand, answering her phone with the other

"Baby ~ look outside your window," running to her window, she looks out - expecting to see her boyfriend…

"Where are you? I can't see you?" She asks, frowning

"I'm still at the dorms baby - I just wanted to share the first snow with you…sorry I can't be there"

She sighs, understanding, "It's okay…"

***

(Rewind to those days) - Just back to this time last year
(Turn back my heart) - Would we be any different?
Yeah, it’s a silly thought but I would give it a try

She wraps her scarf even tighter around her neck, so that the bright red knitting covers her cheeks, and shoves her hands inside her pockets. Her fingers close around her phone and she pulls it out, scrolling through her contact list until she reaches 'K'. Her finger hovers over the call button, hesitating…before she snaps the cover closed, frustrated.

"Yah…Kang Sehyeon...pabo…why would you call him?"

***

"Oppa? Can I come in?"

"Not this time baby…"

She pouts, "You always say that…Oppa, you're not hiding something from me are you?"

"Of course not baby…it's just company procedure - and the guys have never seen you before… they might find it uncomfortable…so wait until I introduce my pretty girlfriend first okay?"

She nods, still a little put off and deciding to let it pass one more time, "Okay, I understand..." She turns to walk away -

"Wait -" He grabs her hand and spins her around, capturing her lips in a chaste kiss, "Sweet dreams baby~"

Caught off guard, her cheeks flush a rosy red as she stammers out a shy "Oppa, Goodnight" before turning around and walking away, giggling quietly to herself.

***

And if we met would I find tears in my eyes?
Stupid me just might smile and pass it by
Please tell me "Merry merry Christmas -
Hey there, How have you been doing?"
When the first snow falls would these painful scars
At that frozen touch, be whitely covered up?
Sorry, I know I wasn't enough
Regretting over and over again…That Christmas

She had been walking around aimlessly for quite some time, just trying to stay warm, not really paying attention to where she was going. Unsuspectingly, though, she'd managed to wander away from the town square into a quaint little soup bar, tucked, almost out of sight, between a vintage clothing shop and a bookstore. It was one of the few stores that she used to frequent, although during those visits she'd have somebody with her…usually sharing a bowl of whatever was on the chef's recommendation. Within the heated interior of the little restaurant, they didn't have to worry much about unwanted recognitions or bothersome cameras. He could comfortably take off his sunglasses and take down his hoodie and…for a few precious hours, just be himself.

***

"Merry Christmas beautiful ~ can you meet me today? I'll sneak out of the dorms,"

She frowns worried, "You'll get in trouble though...how about I come and meet you?"

"It's okay, I'll ask Joomyeon and Luhan to cover for me"

"Oh...okay then,"

"Let's meet up before lunch then okay? In the town square?"

"The town square? What if you get caught...?"

"Aigoo~ I can risk it this once, don't worry so much baby~"

She laughs, "Arasseo...I'll see you soon"

***

Everybody here is happy, yet I'm all by myself
In this street filled with bright lights
I used to think that you were like the air; that you would always be there
Silly me...you left
Too late...I'm so sorry baby…

He pulls the hood of his parka closer around his face and wraps his navy blue scarf so high only his eyes can be seen, silently cursing his easily distinguishable height. Even though its only late afternoon, the sky is dark enough for the Christmas lights to come on...twinkling in different patterns of red and green and white and attracting the attention of a small crowd of smiling children - their attention completely captivated by the glowing light...reminding him of her. This was the kind of thing she would've been fascinated by...

"Christmas lights, they're quite pretty..."

***

"Oppa~ look~" She tugs on his arm, pointing, "The lights came on! They're so pretty!

"Not as pretty as you baby~" He teases her, watching her already pink cheeks become another shade darker.

"Yah..."

He grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers, before bending down to whisper in her ear, "People are starting to crowd around...should we go to the usual place, instead?"

***

(Typical story)
As time passed, how much you meant to me
(Time passing by)
I didn't know, how precious you are
So I want to let you know it's different now

The Christmas lights are starting to draw in an even larger crowd…young teenage girls starting to flock towards the town square, drawn there by a combination of snow and lights and laughter.
He sighs to himself - he should leave…before people start recognising him, already some girls have started whispering amongst themselves…
He turns on his heel and walks away, holding his breath and hiding his face. His feet follow a path he has taken many times before, crunching through the first layer of soft snow, leading him into a warm, winter soup bar.
The warm air that hits him when he steps in through the door brings with it a familiar sense of security and privacy…as well as a nostalgic longing for their memories.

"Are you ready to order?" A waiter asks a girl whose face is turned away from him.

"Ah…ne…just give me today's special soup, please"

He looks up, surprised. That soft voice…it's her voice. The last he heard that voice was…

***

"Why won't you let me inside? What are you hiding from me!?"

"I'm not hiding anything from you, I just don't want to be in trouble!"

"You know you won't get in trouble! It's not like the guys won't know about us NOW, anyway, so stop using your members and your company.

The voices grow louder and louder, climbing over one another…
 

"It's not an excuse! Quit acting like a 5-year old! I'm exhausted right now…I don't have time for this"

"You never have time for anything! You're constantly leaving me hanging…leaving me waiting…I'm getting tired of always waiting! I'm waiting for someone that never shows up!"

"STOP WAITING THEN! Just leave!"

"Fine…fine, I'll leave…"

Her words struck him speechless and he was left wishing he hadn't been so hot-headed and caught up in the argument…desperately wanting to take back his words…but the damage was done…

"No…wait -" He reaches out and grabs her wrist, stopping her from turning around and walking away. She lets out a frustrated sigh and without making eye-contact, cover his hand with her own, loosening his fingers from around her wrist. His arm falls back limply to his side.

"I'm not doing anymore waiting…Maybe this was just never meant to work out. Goodbye Oppa…"

He can see it in her face, in the crease between her eyebrows and in the tears that threaten to spill…she's exhausted…she's well and truly done waiting for him…

He can't even blame her…

***

If we met would I find tears in my eyes?
Stupid me just might smile and pass it by
Please tell me "Merry merry Christmas -
Hey there, How have you been doing?"
When the first snow falls would these painful scars
At that frozen touch, be whitely covered up?
Maybe its tears, maybe the white snow
Now you are further, further away...that Christmas

The last time he heard that voice was the day the news of their relationship made headlines. She had come to the dorms as soon as she heard the news - demanding to be let inside his dorm. He'd been exhausted, physically and mentally drained from all the damage control…so he had turned her away, bluntly, hoping she would understand as she always did. This time, she argued with him…she argued with him and then…she left. He was left with only memories and an aching heart…and the sharp, painful sting of an idol's reality.

He takes off his scarf but keeps his hoodie around his face, acutely aware of his own popularity. He'd taken a mild risk today by slipping out of the dorms…hoping to catch a glimpse of the first snow. Yet, he never imagined that by taking a small risk he'd find himself presented with a chance to fix his scars…Only that, he knows…he knows that a second chance with her is more than what he should realistically hope for. So, instead of trying to approach the girl, he just quietly seats himself directly behind her, his lips curving into a small, sad smile.

Isn’t it strange? Just thinking about you…
I’m trying so hard not to cry ... but it hurts so much
Tears are falling, falling

"Miss?" She looks up from her phone, flipping it over and hiding the screen.

"Ah, ne?"

"Are you ready to order?"

"Ah…ne…just give me today's special soup, please."

She waits until the waiter has disappeared into the kitchen and then flips her phone back over, staring intently at the photo of a handsome, tall, boy, smiling up at her from the screen. Her finger ghosts over the screen, tracing the boy's jaw line.

"Merry Christmas, Oppa" she murmurs. A stray tear falls onto the screen.
"Ah…Kang Sehyeon…Neoneun jinja Pabo-ya… You shouldn't cry…"

She pulls out a mirror from her purse and holds it up to check her makeup…almost dropping her the mirror in surprise.

"Aniya, aniya…andwae…you're hallucinating Sehyeon…EXO has a schedule today - it can't possibly be him. And, anyway, even if it was him he won't remember you…it's been ages… Come on Kang Sehyeon, wake up..."

Once more, I want to be by your side
All that you want, it's possible
Now 'till the end…I want you back again in my arms

"Gwiyeobda…" he comments, to low for anyone to hear.

Kris ge…if she still remembers you and she sounds like she would give you a second chance, why don't you just try?
A voice that sounds suspiciously like a certain Chinese maknae nags in his mind.

"I can't do that…it'll only just hurt her again…"

But, gege…how are you so sure?

"EXO has debuted now, we're even bigger than we were before…if we try again, it won't get any better…Why am I even explaining this to you…you're in my head Zitao…"
 

So if we met would I find tears in my eyes?
Stupid me just might smile and pass it by
Just tell me "Merry merry Christmas -Hey, I hope that you are happy
When the first snow falls would these painful scars
At that frozen touch, be whitely covered up?
Sorry, I know I wasn't enough
Regretting over and over again…

 "Aish…is my mirror broken? Ah…Sehyeon, neo pabo…why did you drop it…"
She holds the mirror up high, trying and failing to cover up her intentions to catch another glimpse of him.

"Okay...you're not hallucinating then..." she mutters, having confirmed the existence of the boy behind her, "but still, you- ...he told you to leave...he probably doesn't even know it's you...he probably just thinks you're another fan or something...and even if he remembered...then what?

With every word she murmurs, her already flushed cheeks become redder and redder.

"He told you to leave...if you approach him now you'll just seem like a clingy child...really Kang Sehyeon...have some pride, won't you?"

He's almost out of seat, ready to ask if she was feeling alright and about her tomato-red face when the waiter beats him to it.

"Ah...Agassi... gwaenchanayo?"

"Gwaenchanayo," she stands up, "Where is the bathroom though?"

"Ah...it's that way..."

See you should've approached her when you had the chance...

"Shut up Tao..."

When we meet I would find tears in my eyes…
Silly me, I might just give it another try
(Please just tell me)
"Merry merry Christmas"
I'm glad you're finally smiling

She emerges from the bathroom, with water droplets still clinging to her cheeks, and reflexively looks towards where he should've been sitting.

Her heart drops upon seeing the empty seat, confirming what she knew wasn't true but still blindly hoped for.

"See Kang Sehyeon?" She mumbles, walking towards the exit, "This is what you get for hoping for the impossible..."

When she walks out of the restaurant, night has already fallen, the alleyway illuminated by a single street light.

She's barely out of the store when a pair of strong arms come around her neck, pulling her backwards into somebody's chest. Impulsively, she stiffens, hands balling into fists at her sides and she draws in a breath, ready to scream.

"Merry Christmas"

And when this first snow falls, I know these painful scars
At your touch will be whitely covered up
Sorry, I know this isn't that much
But can we try again one more time? … This Christmas

Her breath hitches in and her eyes tear up, choking back her scream.

The hands gently glide down from her shoulders, stopping at her waist and gently turning her around. Two large, dark brown orbs look up at him blankly, tears steadily sliding down her cheeks.

"Mianhae Sehyeon-ah, mianhae, mianhae, neomu mianhada…" He whispers.

He doesn't break eye contact, hoping, wishing for some sort of reaction from her.
Still her brown eyes just look accusingly at him, tears still falling. He lifts both hands towards her face and gently brushes the pads of his thumbs under her eyes. She in a breath at the contact and freezes underneath his touch.

Sighing, he takes a step forward, bending down…and she takes a step back, one hand coming up to his chest, stopping him from going any closer.

"Kris-sshi, ije…geumanhae…geumanhaeyo"

He takes another step forward and she drops her hand, turning away...ready to let the memory of their meeting melt away with the first snow...

"Sehyeon-ah..."

She freezes for a brief moment, and his fingers gently wrap around her wrist

"Kajima, Sehyeon-ah"

Okayyy, so I realised a little too late that even though I wrote this as a birthday request...I ended up writing a fanfic about Christmas & Snow... 2 things that currently aren't happening where I am right now but oh well...
I suppose if EXO released a really good birthday song I would've written a fanfic about birthdays...

Anyways, 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY ~ (Yes, this is late...Mianhae T.T)
Love you ~ <3 

xoxo
- H

P.S. Please comment with feedback below~ Since this is the first story I've ever posted on here, I'm eager to recieve feedback! Gomawoyo ~ ^^