Different Brands

Sometimes Taekwoon gets mad, and then sometimes, Taekwoon gets mad.

Hakyeon has a pretty good grasp on where he stands with Taekwoon's patience and temper. All of his boundaries and limits have been committed to Hakyeon's memory and he tries his best to slowly expand them – but then there are times where he moves a little too fast and then all of the careful progress he's made over the last few years is suddenly for nothing.

The other members will watch Taekwoon storm away, and none of them will follow like they usually might because they know. This is a different brand of anger – they just don't know what kind. Even Hakyeon doesn't know what kind it is, and he always knows. At times like these, when he's curled up in the corner of their room and trying to sort out his thoughts, he wishes he could understand what he did that was so wrong.

The air outside is getting colder and maybe Taekwoon's mood is getting worse. With all the cuddly clothing, the others thought he might feel better, but he's avoiding Hakyeon at all costs and none of them dare ask why. He keeps his distance from the rest while Jaehwan closes in on Hakyeon, trying to make him laugh and smile. He weakly responds, but he does feel a little better.

When Hakyeon looks away from Jaehwan to check on Taekwoon's hunched figure inside the black coat, he sees Wonshik walking closer towards him and wonders why. Wonshik always seemed to do that, always seemed to be the first to work his way back through Taekwoon's steely walls. If there was a trick to it, Hakyeon desperately wanted to know.

Mostly, Hakyeon just wants to understand what he did wrong. Is he trying too hard as leader, trying too hard to assert his dominance? He thought he was a fair person, dividing everything he possibly could among the six of them equally. All of them hardly complained about serious things – mostly petty little arguments about shower times and dirty laundry.

This is a different brand of anger – he just doesn't know what kind. But he thinks Wonshik might.

"Just . . . give him a little time, hyung," Wonshik says to him that night when he (meekly, nervously) asks. It's not the answer Hakyeon wants to hear (although it's the answer he expected), but he knows Wonshik is right. He just has to . . . focus on the other members and wait for Taekwoon to come around. Jaehwan stays by his side while he waits.

Wonshik, in fact, does know what kind of anger it is. It's a different brand of anger – one that only Hakyeon can cause, made of frustration and embarrassment, of humiliation and a sense of self-loathing.

He knows how it works for Taekwoon. He's there every single second of the main vocalist's quiet ranting, his long fingers weaving and clawing into the sheets while he tries to figure out what's wrong with him, why he can't simply let Hakyeon do what he knows they both want and what would benefit the group.

Wonshik pities Taekwoon, mostly.

Another night, he's watching Taekwoon yet again. The main vocalist has his arms wrapped around himself, squeezing tightly as if trying to hold himself together while he presses his chin as far into his chest as he possibly can. His words are fast and low, unclear and almost harsh (but they usually are) and Wonshik knows that he's beating himself up over Hakyeon and his worries.

Worries. Taekwoon worries a lot. That he's not reliable enough, that he's not talkative enough, that he doesn't do good enough on variety, that he's better off just playing role on stage and then disappearing until the next time. He worries that Hakyeon will get sick of trying to help him come out of his shell, that Hakyeon will finally get tired of him pushing away his advances.

At one point or another, Wonshik isn't paying attention, Taekwoon clings to his arms and whispers harshly, desperately, "Don't let me be like this. Help me. Don't leave me. I need … to be good for Hakyeon. And you. And the others . . ."

Wonshik thinks about how it ended up like this; of all the dongsaengs, why him? Mostly, he thought, he was just too nosy and impatient. But he had always noticed how everything was just that much harder for Taekwoon and he ached for him. He wanted to take care of him and assure him that things were going to be fine.

He chuckles softly and he can feel Taekwoon's death grip on his arm loosen up a little. He might have to amputate someday. "I don't think Hakyeon-hyung will give up anytime soon. He's really stubborn, don't you know that?" They both do, but Taekwoon is so insecure practically 99.999% of the time when it comes to human interaction that Wonshik can't help but laugh a little each time.

Taekwoon trusts Wonshik, maybe more than he trusts anyone else in the group. He knows it's not fair to lay his worries on someone younger than him, but Hakyeon, as leader, has so much to deal with as it is. Even though Taekwoon is good at keeping it all to himself (he really is), he just needs to be reminded that it's okay. Wonshik does that for him and because of that, he's able to get over his humiliation and face Hakyeon again.

Before bed, Wonshik does damage check. Hongbin and Hyuk are alright, watching some periodical drama that's affected Hyuk's manner of speech a little too much. Jaehwan is still practically glued to Hakyeon's side, who seems to appreciate it as they sit at the table and doodle with small conversation.

The rapper makes his way over, messing a little with his beanie, and plops down in front of the two. Jaehwan gives him a knowing look and when he quirks a smile, Jaehwan's shoulder fall, relaxed. On the other hand, Hakyeon is looking like a kicked puppy again. Jaehwan pats his shoulder and distracts him once more.

Nothing changes for the rest of the night.

Oddly enough, Wonshik is the first one up the next morning. They don't have any schedules but they do have heavy practice because of their comeback. Probably should have gotten more sleep. He shuffles over to the couch and flops down with his iPad. A little while later, one of the bedroom doors open and he looks up from under the cloth of his hoodie.

Taekwoon is shuffling out, not looking around, and he heads to the kitchen. Wonshik lays his iPad down and watches closely, having not been noticed. The other starts on making coffee and the rapper smile a little to himself, knowing which way this is going.

It's a little while later again and the bedroom door opens once more. Hakyeon's been up for a while and he automatically noticed that Taekwoon wasn't in bed. He couldn't hear Wonshik's monstrous snoring either, so he knew who was up and who wasn't. The idea of facing Taekwoon so early in the morning made him a little nauseous, especially with the hard practice day had ahead of them, but sooner was better than later.

He tiptoes out and first looks back to the couch, seeing Wonshik with his hoodie pulled over his eyes and his ankles crossed while he lounged. The smell of coffee is coming from the kitchen and he inches forward, mentally preparing himself for the avoidance. Taekwoon, fortunately (or maybe not . . .) is on the balcony, leaning on the railing.

Hakyeon sighs in defeat, a little annoyed that he built himself up for nothing. Just when he's about to go wake up Wonshik, he spots a mug on the counter, steaming with light-colored coffee (milk and sugar, just like he liked it).

Another sigh leaves his lips, but this time it's lighter and relieved. It's okay.

Hakyeon knows this territory. It's familiar, it's safe. It's renewed. It's good. He glances back to see Wonshik somehow grinning, his arms crossed over his chest.

The balcony door slides open. "Good morning." Taekwoon quietly greets, not sparing a look at the leader, but that's alright.

Hakyeon knows a little better this time. Hopefully he can get the hang of Taekwoon soon.

Wonshik folds his legs to make room for the main vocalist. "Thank you," he murmurs.

Hakyeon comes over and sits on the floor, his back leaning against the couch as he sips his coffee. They wait for the others to wake up.