...SUMMER 2020

There he was. Sitting on one of the benches at the airport watching planes come and go with a never ending smile on his face. A smile full with love, anticipation and desire. With his elbows resting on his knees Jonghyun looked at a polaroid selfie of you and him together in the snow where he kissed your cold cheek and you smiled with your eyes closed feeling the happiest girl in the world between his thumbs and index fingers. He was missing you and couldn't wait to wrap you up in his arms and show you how much he did. 'Flight KE 622 to Paris, departure 08:20 is now ready for boarding. Please prepare your boarding pass and passport'. Jonghyun grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder tucking the photograph in the back of his passport heading to the gate ready to board. Once he sat down and prepared himself for the flight, the aircraft was finally taking off to Paris. It was going to be a long one, he knew that, but no matter what he tried to do to sleep, he couldn't. All that was in his mind was you. "Can I offer you something to drink? Coffee or a tea?" the flight attended asked with a big smile on her face as friendly as she was. "A coffee thank you" Jonghyun answered handing his credit card to pay and enjoyed his coffee to keep him occupied. While the lights in the plane were dimmed and most of the people were either sleeping or reading a book, Jonghyun took a sip from his coffee staring out of the window, thinking of you. Thinking back to how it all began. Back to when you two first met, back to when he knew he loved you, wondering if you were thinking of him this very second he was thinking of you.

                    ...IN THE MEANTIME IN PARIS

"Good night Tammy" you smiled drying the rest of your long hair with a towel walking back into the guestroom that had been your room for quite a long time. "Good night" Tammy shouted loud enough for her husband to hear who was busy working on a report. "What?" Tammy frowned smiling at her husband rubbing the baby bumb. "I am going to bed too okay?". Paul, her husband looked up as she pecked his lips "I'll be right up. I really need to finish this". "Okay" Tammy nodded and followed you but went into her own bedroom. You closed the door behind you shut throwing the towel on the chair in your room. You grabbed your brush and started to cumb your hair until your eyes moved to all the photographs of you and Jonghyun decorated around the mirror and realised you missed him. You missed him that much it made you sick to your stomach. It's been six months since the last kiss. Six months since the last touch. Six months you inhaled his scent for the last time before he had to go back into the army to finish what he started. You spent the most amazing Christmas with the love of your life. You couldn't wait for him to finish military service and fly back to Seoul, to be with him. You put your brush back down and walked towards the window sitting yourself in the window bench pulling your knees up to your face leaning your head onto it staring at the countless stars above Paris. "I miss you" you mumbled looking up removing the falling tear from your eyelid. You sat there for minutes, hugging your knees, staring into the night sky, hoping you could be with him soon. Before Tammy went back to her bedroom she noticed a light coming from your room and decided to have a look. "Amanda? Are you still up?" Tammy whispered and carefully swung the door open finding you asleep in the window bench holding onto a pillow with your head against the window frame. Tammy walked in and grabbed a blanket from the corner in the room and threw it over you. She took one last look over her shoulder before she closed the door behind her after she switched of the light...

                                                                       **********

...After a thirteen hour flight, Jonghyun finally made it to the ground alive. He wasn't tired but filled with excitement instead. Once he passed the border security he collected his luggage and made his way out trying to get a hold of a cab to drive him into the city where he hoped to find you. The sun was up as soon as Jonghyun arrived at the luxary hotel he booked for two. He checked in and decided to give Tammy, your best friend a call. "Tammy?!" she spoke as she picked up the phone walking around the kitchen cleaning up the breakfast. "Hi, it's Jonghyun here. Remember me?" Jonghyun started not sure if your best friend would recognise him. She's only met him a few times and these were short, not long enough to really know him the way you did. "Of course I remember you" Tammy cheered looking around but didn't see you anywhere. "You want to talk to Amanda? She probably has her phone switched off". "No no no" Jonghyun broke Tammy off. "I need to talk to you. Don't tell Amanda just yet. I need your help". Tammy put the towel back down looking out of the window "You sure you don't want to talk to your girlfriend? She's been sick missing you. I am pretty sure she would love to hear your voice" Tammy ranted ignoring what Jonghyun just said. "Tammy, I am serious. I need your help. I landed in Paris this morning and Amanda can't find out I am here. At least not yet". Tammy's eyes grew big "What? You're discharged already?" she asked in disbelief wondering what that man of yours was up to. "Yes, I got discharged three days ago and I really need to see Amanda, that's why I took a flight to Paris as soon as I could get one. But I really need your help with something" Jonghyun begged your best friend. Tammy walked towards the dining table and sat down "Okay, talk. What do you need?". "What are your plans for today?" Jonghyun asked bluntly trying to figure out if the time was right. "Nothing special really" Tammy sighed. "Why?". Jonghyun started to explain everything on his mind from a to z. "Alright, I will convince Amanda to come out shopping with me, I will make up some excuse. You, meet us at the Eifel Tower at two" Tammy suggested starting to think of a way to make you come with her without suspecting anything. "You'll see me at two then" Jonghyun assured your best friend. "You know where to find it right?" Tammy asked worried the poor guy would get lost in the big city of love. "Don't worry about me. I'll find it. Just make sure you get Amanda there. I got everything under control". "Okay okay okay Romeo" Tammy chuckled before she hung up the phone. "Who were you calling Romeo?" Paul smirked kissing his wife good morning. "I don't want to say it out loud, but Amanda's boyfriend is here to see her, but she can't find out yet" Tammy explained to her husband. "Okay! That will make her day".

                                                                          **********

Tammy was very good at convinicing people when she wanted or needed something without losing her cover. Even this time, she managed to take you out of the house with an excuse to go baby shopping with her. That you couldn't say no to because you were going to be this little girl's god mother and were proud of that. You looked around at all the cute baby clothes. Everything was so tiny and at the same time you were hiding your emotions reminded of your miscarriage three and a half months ago you didn't talk to anyone about, not even your boyfriend. You just didn't know how. "Amanda are you alright?" Tammy asked when she saw the wet corners of your eyes. "I am fine" you sniffed bluntly putting down the tiny jumper. "I don't believe you" Tammy added going through the rack of baby clothes. "Do you want to talk about it?". You shook your head "Not yet". You already said it before you realised you said out loud what was really on your mind. "Oh my god Amanda" Tammy whispered picking up the hint as she made sense of the emotional rollercoaster ride you have been on in the last few months. "Why didn't you tell me? Does he know?" You shook your head "No he doesn't and please don't tell him, I want to tell him that. I just couldn't tell you Tammy" you murmered while an explosion of tears escapsed from the corners of your eyes. "I'm sorry" you sniffed wiping the tears from your eyes with your index finger trying not to ruin your mascara. "We've been talking about this last Christmas before he went back. How he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me and how bad he wanted to start a family after he gets released. When I found out I was pregnant I was so happy. I didn't find out until I was 7 weeks already and before I had a chance to even tell Jonghyun, I had a miscarriage" you explained looking at your best friend with teary eyes. "I am so sorry Amanda. Come here" Tammy whispered pulling you in a hug. "I am sorry that I didn't know. I am really sorry. You don't deserve this". You faught hard to stop crying looking back up at your best friend "You didn't know. I just don't know how will I tell him? Maybe he won't understand or forgive me". Tammy shook her head "Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have done anything to prevent it and I am very sure he will understand. He loves you, he really does. No matter what happens, you two will grow old together okay?". You chuckled at your best friends words hugging her again. "Thank you Tammy"....

 

That awkward moment the story get's so long I will have to split it in two ;) Enjoy this update! Part 2 and the end coming soon!