- Dear My Love -

          Good morning my love. How is your bed hair today?

          Jongin smiles to himself as he reads the perfectly hand written text by his one and only, Kyungsoo.  

          I miss your sleeping face already. You always have this adorable expression where you scrunch your eyebrows together before you wake up. You’re cute when you do that. Yea, I know, I know, you hate it when I say things like that, but it’s true. I won’t be able to see it today, but I’m glad I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you.

         The shower head gets and steam starts to fill the bathroom. Jongin lathers the vanilla scented shampoo through his wet hair before he rinses it, watching the soap suds travel down the drain.

          I always look forward to morning showers, and you know what I mean when I say that don’t you, Jongin? You’re such a ert. ‘Only a ert for you’ is what you’ll tell me, right? Of course you would. That’s okay, though, because I’m only a ert for you, too. Will you let me shower with you tomorrow?

          The tie that’s wrapped around the collar of Jongin’s dress shirt gets tangled up messily around his hand, so he fumbles his fingers around the loops to undo everything and try once again.

          You probably need me to help you with your tie again, huh? You silly boy. Don’t worry when I come back I’ll do it for you again. Did you know that every time I fix your tie it makes me feel like we’ve been together for a lifetime? Or maybe more like newlyweds, huh? Haha. But it’s a wish of mine to be with you forever—to be yours forever. Do you think the same way too, Jongin?

          The coffee sits comfortably in Jongin’s hand as he reads the morning newspaper. He takes a sip and smacks his lips to cool off the burning sensation on his tongue. After he finishes reading he closes his eyes and imagines his lover’s arms being wrapped around his body. He sighs when he feels no warmth and grabs for his keys.

          I’m sorry I won’t be there to kiss you goodbye when you leave for work, but I’ll leave it imprinted here in this letter for you. I love you, Jongin and don’t forget about the coffee that I left out for you on the kitchen counter. Black with no sugar just how you like it.

          Jongin’s day consists of constant phone calls and headache, but he somehow smiles at the end of the day as he waves his coworkers goodbye.

          When you come back home from work I won’t be there to cook you your favorite foods. Please don’t eat the ramen. I know you’ve stashed them in the cupboards in the way back where I can’t reach. They’re unhealthy for you. Wait, on second thought I don’t want you to burn down my kitchen so maybe I’ll let you off this time. Just try not to eat too much. I’ll cook you kimchi spaghetti, or whatever you want when I come back, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll give you a kiss or two as a special treat.

          Jongin silently eats his ramen wishing he could have one of Kyungsoo’s delicious dishes instead, and thinks how nice it would be to get a kiss or two from him as well.

          I don’t want to go to sleep at night. It’s going to be cold over here without you sleeping next to me. I think I’ll miss you most by then, but I’ll be back soon. We should go somewhere tomorrow. How about the place where we first met? I feel like we should. It’s been awhile—since high school, hasn’t it? It’s where I first fell in love with you. Was it the same for you, too?

          After washing and putting away the dishes Jongin grabs his jacket and puts on his shoes. He whispers a quiet ‘let’s go’ to no one in particular as he locks his door and walks out into the night.

          I love you, Jongin.

          It’s nighttime, but Jongin reaches a flower shop just in time before it closes. He buys one rose—a red one.

          I love you.

          The streets are completely empty now, Jongin being the only person. He walks along the sidewalk until he reaches a lonesome road. It’s covered in overgrown hedges and vines, but he continues on.

          Goodnight and sleep well, Jongin. Dream of me and I’ll dream of you. Tomorrow we’ll be together again. Your Love, Kyungsoo.

          The stars light up the endless black sky and the cool breeze chills Jongin’s hands as he holds onto the one red rose he had bought earlier. He pulls out a small crumpled paper from his pocket—not his lover’s, but his own—a love letter he had written to Kyungsoo three years ago.

Dear My Love,

          Leave me a kiss on the lips before you leave. I don’t want to miss your good morning kiss even though I’ll be asleep. Don’t waste all the warm water when you go and shower. I’ll be grumpy if you do, or maybe I should just punish you? Haha. I know what you’re going to say, that I’m a ert, but you know that I’m only a ert for you. And I’ll be fine on my own. I know you’ll tease me about my lack of skills when it comes to my tie, but I’ll manage. One day I’ll learn so I can properly do it for you, too. We can take turns, forever and ever, when we finally get our lovely adopted children and grow old together.

          I’m also thinking about adding sugar to my coffee today just because you like it so much in yours. I’m really going to miss your goodbye kiss. The one you always give me before I leave the front door, but I’ll think of you and I’ll wait til you come back home. Oh, doesn’t this mean I won’t be able to have any homemade dinner? Ah! Nooo! What is the meaning of life? Haha, you’re giving me that look aren’t you? C’mon, you know I can’t survive without your cooking. It’s like tasting heaven on your tongue, oh, wait, I should take that back since you’re the one who tastes like heaven. Haha. Okay, okay. I’ll stop joking around. Cook me a feast when you come back. I’ll eat it all and maybe I’ll even eat you up for dessert.      

          Nighttime will be the worst. I won’t be able to hug you close or keep you safe and warm. Don’t let anyone else touch you, you hear? I won’t forgive you. The only person you belong to is me, but you know that, of course you do. I miss you, Kyungsoo, and I love you. Come back quickly. I want to take you somewhere tomorrow. There’s something I have to tell you. Goodnight, my love. I love you. Always think of me, for I always think of you. Tomorrow I promise you forever.

Your Love,

Jongin

          Jongin cries silently to himself as he sits next to his lover’s grave thinking about how they were so close to having their forever. Kyungsoo had left for one day, only one day, to tend to an important family occasion. The destination was a little ways away from their apartment and Jongin had acted childishly saying how he wouldn’t be able to live without his love even if it were just for a day. Kyungsoo playfully suggested they write each other letters, a way for them to get through their one day of separation. Kyungsoo had left his letter on Jongin’s bedside table before taking his leave early that morning, and took Jongin’s letter from the kitchen counter after making coffee for his lover.

          The day was supposed to pass by without trial, but life doesn’t like to play fair. If Kyungsoo hadn’t been so kind as to stay behind and help his family with more business matters, he wouldn’t have been late and rushed himself to the train station by taking the back roads. Those few precious seconds could have stopped Kyungsoo from meeting that strange, anonymous man, who had been lurking around the area. If he had just left earlier he wouldn’t have been defiled in the worst ways possible and left to whisper his lover’s name with his last breath. He could have still been alive by Jongin’s side, radiating smiles and giving kisses, professing love and finally sealing the promise of forever, but life decided to be unkind that day.   

          It took Jongin a really long time to overcome his grief. It was supposed to be a special day for them, but instead he got a phone call asking him to identify one of the deceased, whom he confirmed with a shattered heart that it was his Kyungsoo. They even gave Jongin the letter that he had made for his lover. It was stained with splotches of blood and dried up tears. The officer claimed that when they had found Kyungsoo the letter was clutched tightly to his chest.

          Jongin blamed himself for Kyungsoo’s death for the longest time. It took a lot of convincing from his friends that it wasn’t his fault, but the man who had killed his lover. He has finally come to terms with that, at least, but he still has so many things left unsaid.    

          Its three years too late, but Jongin wants to say it, the words he never had the chance to say even if he’ll never get a reply, “Kyungsoo, my love, will you marry me?”

          He puts the rose on top of the tombstone and digs a small hole in the ground next to Kyungsoo’s grave. He places the silver ring he had bought three years ago in the middle of his letter and wraps it into a ball. He drops it into the hole and covers it back up with the dirt speaking out loud while doing so.

          “I know it took me a long time Kyungsoo, but I’ll be okay. I miss you and I still love you. I will always love you. I’m sorry I took so long to see you. I know we still have forever, so just wait for me on the other side, okay? I’ll come to you when it’s my time. Good night my love. Today, tomorrow, and the many days after, I promise you forever.”  

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A/N:

Eh, I hope this turned out alright.

Once I read the prompt (It’s funny how many lies can be packed in one love letter) it struck a chord with me for some reason. I initially thought of writing about infidelity and cheating, but then I was like nah let’s do something else, so I ended up writing this instead. The lies are all the things they wrote to one another, but will never be given the chance to do together.  

I hope you guys liked it. Please comment and tell me what you think. Criticism is always welcomed.

<3 dububrit-on