Hello c: 

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"Well, they do say pain makes you wiser." 

Day 1:

 

Kyungsoo found peace in sitting alone on the bus. It gave him time to ponder, think and hate on the world without disturbance. Occasionally, one or two people would get inside, but he learned to accept their presence since they were minding their own business anyway. He always stared out the window, wondering what would have happened if he didn’t drop out.

 

Would he be successful? Was he capable of success?

 

He shakes his head, not wanting to think about that anymore. He glances to the side, and catches a boy staring at him. He squints in a threatening manner and the boy jumps while looking away.

This happened on more than one occasion; he would find that particular boy staring at him when he wasn’t looking. It started a month ago, and continued since. Quite frankly, it pissed him off a little, but he came to terms with the small form of affection since it didn’t bother him much.

Or at least he thought it didn’t.

He looks back at the window and and sees the boy staring at him again through the reflection.

 

What the was his problem?

 

Day 2:

 

Kyungsoo sits alone on the last bus seat, watching people walk by without sparing him a single glance. The buildings rush by, as do the people, and Kyungsoo wishes the bus could slow down a bit so he could enjoy the view of the people enjoying their day.

 

As the bus comes to a slow halt, he lifts his head, only to put it back down again.

 

It wasn’t the bus that made the people look like they were running. Everyone was always running, always so busy, and Kyungsoo wonders how people could rush to their workplace when they clearly hated going there.

 

    “Hey there.”

 

Kyungsoo lifts his head from the window and glances at the boy. He mentally snorts and looks away.

 

The boy giggles and Kyungsoo’s eye twitches.

 

Was he laughing at him? He glares and resumes his task of observing the outside world.

 

    “I wasn’t laughing at you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m just a little nervous? I don’t know I always see you riding this bus and I never had the guts to say hi but I think you’re really pretty and–oh no wait is that insulting I didn’t mean to insult I was just saying you’re handsome but in a pretty–ugh no that’s not what I meant...” The boy stops to stare in surprise when Kyungsoo actually spares him a look instead of a glance. He blushes at the sudden attention.

 

    “You’re ranting.”

 

    “Er...yeah, I do that when I’m nervous.” He rubs his neck.

 

    “Well stop, you’re disturbing my peace.”

 

    “Oh.” He stands awkwardly in the aisle, holding onto the handrail.

 

    “I’m Jongin by the way.”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother doing anything, but Jongin wouldn’t accept his indifference.

 

    “..Well what’s your name?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows twitch in annoyance.

 

    “Does it matter?”

 

    “Um. I think so...” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

 

    “Um wait. Yeah. Yeah it does matter to me.”

 

    “I don’t care.”

 

    “O-okay.” Jongin finally shuts up and Kyungsoo smiles from the silence.

 

Finally.

 

    “Oh, well. This is my stop. See you tomorrow.” Kyungsoo peeks at the leaving boy and his eyes widen. He’s smiling with such sincerity and brightness, it hurt a little bit. He looks at the window and follows Jongin’s figure.

 

What a weirdo.

 

Day 3:

 

    “Hey mommy? What is happiness?” Seven year old Kyungsoo asks his mother.

 

    “Hmmm. It’s when all of your insides get warm and tingly.”

 

    “Hahh? What kind of feeling is that?!”

 

    “Hahaha, when you feel it, you’ll know.”

 

Kyungsoo jumps as he wakes up from his short nap.

 

What a disgusting dream.

 

He lifts his head and sees Jongin’s face inches away from his.

 

    “Hi!”

 

He jumps back in surprise, only to have his head hit the window. He hisses in pain.

 

    “What the is wrong with you.”

 

    “O-Oh sorry I didn’t mean to scare you I just saw you sleeping and it looked really uncomfortable so I just wanted to give you a shoulder to lean on..?” Kyungsoo rubs his head and contorts his face in annoyance.

 

    “You’re invading my personal space.”

 

    “But you needed it so...” Kyungsoo glares.

 

    “Okay, just kidding I’ll just stand next to your seat.” He nods in compliance and stares out the window.

 

Anything new to see today?

 

    “By the way, I bought you this!”

 

Kyungsoo turns his head around and came face to face with a hot, chocolate chip cookie. He blinks in surprise.

 

    “I didn’t poison it...”

 

Kyungsoo bites his tongue. If he accepts this random act of kindness, what would that make of him? Was he so weak that he would be willing to accept a cookie from a stranger? Should he fight the urge to eat this delicious, chocolate chip cookie? Goddamit why is his life getting so ing complicated. It’s all because of this stupid cookie.

 

    “Whoa there, the cookie is not going to eat you. You don’t have to stare at it with such intense hatred. Hahaha.” Kyungsoo huffs and snatches the cookie from his hands.

 

Damn, he was getting weak.

 

    “...It’s melting.” He bites the cookie and savors the chocolate on his tongue.

 

    “I guess my burning love for you kept the cookie warm.”

 

Kyungsoo chokes.

 

    “Oh are you alright?” Jongin frantically searches for his water bottle and hands it to him.

 

 

    “Augh, that was ing terrible.”

 

    “What? But this was the best cookie shop in town! I’ve got to complain about this.”

 

    “Not that. Your stupid statement.”

 

    “Oh. My buuuurning love for you?” When he feels Kyungsoo’s intense glare, he immediately apologizes.

 

And that’s when Kyungsoo breaks his stoic face and begins laughing. He laughs at the dumb statement, he laughs at Jongin’s idiotic face when he panics, and he laughs at the frantic apology. Jongin freezes in his spot, eyes locked on the cute face that the boy was making.

 

    “You look so pretty when you laugh.” He blurts. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in surprise and makes (extremely) awkward eye contact with Jongin. He takes another bite of the cookie and completely turns away from the boy. From the reflection, he silently stared at Jongin panicking for making him turn away. He giggles into his hand and realizes that he was smiling.

 

While staring at Jongin.

 

He turns red from the realization and shoves the entire cookie in his mouth, only to choke.

 

    “Are you alright?” Jongin gives him the water bottle again while Kyungsoo prays that Jongin thinks the pool of blood around his cheeks is from lack of air.

 

He sighs in relief when the cookies is down into this stomach. He covers his smile with his hand and makes mental notes.

 

So this is momentary happiness.

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t say much after that. But when Jongin gets up to leave, Kyungsoo mumbles into his hand.

 

    “I’m Do Kyungsoo. Thanks.”

 

For a moment, Kyungsoo was worried he didn’t say it loud enough. He had too much pride to say it again, but a part of him wanted Jongin to know his name. When he briefly thought about repeating himself, Jongin flashed him a blinding smile.

 

    “See you tomorrow Do Kyungsoo.”

 

He ignored the blood rushing to his cheeks and turned himself completely away from him.

 

    “Whatever.”

 

Day 4:

 

    “Don’t you go to school?” Jongin asks.

 

    “No.”

 

    “Why not?”

 

    “Because I don’t want to.”

 

    “Ohh, we have a rebellious child here.” Jongin snickers. “But you should get a good education if you want to succeed in life.”

 

    “I was kicked out.” Kyungsoo lies. It was too complicated to explain.

 

    “HAH? YOU were kicked out?! For what?”

 

    “I...wrote something bad on my assignment. With that and my unexplained absences...I guess I wasn’t fit to go to school.”

 

    “Oh..what did you write?”

 

    “Does it matter?”

 

    “Yes, because I’m curious.” Kyungsoo thinks for a moment.

 

    “The assignment was to write a paper on modern society. I wrote  ‘Insanity, betrayal, lies, abuse, pain, short-lived happiness, illusions, death, boredom, and short-lived pleasure.’”

 

    “That’s...all you wrote?”

 

    “Yeah. That’s all this world is made up of.”

 

Surprised by the sudden silence, Kyungsoo faces Jongin. Jongin’s face is painted with sadness and horror, and Kyungsoo sighs.

 

He really hates explaining himself.

 

Jongin gathers Kyungsoo into a tight embrace and the latter is too confused to do anything.

 

    “No...no Kyungsoo, our modern society is not only made up of those terrible things. There’s good things as well.”

 

    “You mean short-lived pleasure or happiness”

 

    “Love is not short-lived.” Jongin quickly counters. Kyungsoo thinks back to his parents.

 

    “Sadly, Jongin, it is.”

 

Day 5:

 

    Kyungsoo gets a call.

 

Well, that’s a surprise.

 

    “Hello?”

 

    “Hi, errr...Kyungsoe?”

 

    “....Kyungsoo.”

 

    “Ah, right. Kyungsoo. Um, we’re having a high school reunion and if you wanted to come..”

 

    “No.”    

 

    “Right, okay. Bye.” Kyungsoo hangs up and finds Jongin staring at him in shock.

 

    “...What.”

 

    “You have a cellphone?! And an Iphone 5s?!”

 

Kyungsoo frowns at this.

 

    “Yeah, what did you think, that I lived in caves? Of course I have a cellphone.”

 

    “But that thing just came out yesterday!”

 

    “Yeah, and I got it yesterday.”

 

    “But...but...”

 

    “Why are you so shocked.”

 

    “Because you seem so...introverted...I didn’t think you would have a cellphone. Let me see.” Jongin takes the cellphone and surprisingly Kyungsoo doesn’t care.

 

Because there’s a password.

 

    “What?! Kyungsoo! Open your phone, I want to see.”

 

    “No.”

 

    “Pleasseeeeeee.”

 

    “No.”

 

    “Plllleeeeasseeeee.”

 

    “No.”

 

    “Fine I’ll just disable your phone for 10 years.”

 

    “Give me that.” Kyungsoo takes the phone and shoves it in his pocket.

 

    “Aww. Kyungsoo you’re no fun. I wanted to add my number in there!” Kyungsoo’s heart skips a beat.

 

    “W-What would I need your number for, stupid.”

 

    “For emergencies! And texting and calling and flirting purposes.”

 

    “F-Flirt..That’s stupid.”

 

    “Tch. I’ll put my number in there someday.” Jongin smiles to himself and sits next to him. They don’t talk for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Kyungsoo is having a war with himself through the silence.

 

Should I just give him the phone? Ask him to put the number in? But I just said that was stupid. Now I’ll look dumb. .

 

    “J-Jongin you can put your number in my phone.”

 

Silence. Kyungsoo looks to the side and Jongin is dozing off.

 

    “Tch. When I give you an invitation too. Stupid.” Kyungsoo mutters. He’s about to turn around when he spots Jongin’s cellphone.

 

Should I? Should I?! GODDAMIT WHAT DO I DO.

He takes the phone and punches his number in. AND ANOTHER DILEMMA ENSUES.

 

What do I name this. Kyungsoo? But then he might not know I put it in. AaaKyungsoo? But doesn’t that seem desperate? AHEHDFKJSHGKJHG.

He settles for AaKyungsoo so that he’s second on the list after AaaSehun. That way, he didn’t seem too desperate.

 

He wonders if he should add a heart at the end.

 

    “Mmh...Kyungsoo? Is that my phone?” Jongin rubs his eyes from his nap.

 

    “NO.” He throws the phone across the bus and it lands with a crack.

 

    “AHHHH. KYUNGSOO!”

 

Day 6:

 

    “Hey Kyungsoo. Kyungsooo. Kyungsoo.”

 

    “What.”

 

    “Oh! You actually responded.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and ignores the stupid boy.

 

    “Kyungsooooooooooooooo.”

 

    “Stop.”

 

    “Kyungshoo. Kyungseew. Kyungsiuuu? Kyungshew.”

 

Kyungsoo’s entire face is twitching and he’s starting to regret telling this boy his name.

 

    “I said stop. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that we’re friends because I was little bit nice to you before.”

 

Was he too harsh? Did he hurt the boy’s feelings? Wait, he shouldn’t care.

 

    “Sorry.”

 

Damn he hurt his feelings. HE SHOULDN’T CARE. Stop being weak.

 

    “I’m fine with you saying my name. Just stop being an annoying brat.”

 

    “A brat? But I’m older than you.”

 

    “And how did you come to that ridiculous conclusion.”

 

    “You have a baby face! You’re 17 tops.”

 

   He doesn’t respond and amusedly stares.

 

    Jongin proudly smiles. “I’m 19, you know?”  

 

Kyungsoo smirks.

 

 

 “So you’re hitting on a minor.”

 

 

    “Wha–hitting on–ehskjfhskf oh shiet I didn’t think about that. Damn does that mean we can’t have until next year. GAH DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD.”

 

Kyungsoo freezes in his spot.

Does that mean we can’t have . .

Of course, he just wanted .

His face turns stoic and he blocks out Jongin’s rambling.

 

What a stupid, boy he almost befriended.

No. What a stupid modern society he was born in, and what a stupid boy he was to forget it.

 

 

Day 7:

 

    “Hey Kyungsoo.” He feels a nudge on his shoulder. “Hey. I’ve already asked you like ten questions. Why are you ignoring me?”

 

Kyungsoo remains stoic.

 

    “Please don’t ignore me...” Jongin whimpers and Kyungsoo almost looks but he decides against it. “Kyungsoo.” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo’s shoulders and faces him.

 

    “Why–” Jongin freezes at the coldness in his eyes. “I...What happened?” Kyungsoo yanks himself away and goes back to staring out the window.

 

    “You were fine yesterday...” Jongin wonders out loud.

 

Yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday. Oh how that pisses Kyungsoo off so much. Just thinking about yesterday. And now that Jongin’s said it, there was no turning back.

 

    “Yeah, I was fine yesterday. Thanks for making me believe that you actually cared about me you . Thanks for making me believe that this modern society wasn’t full of those with underlying motives. Thanks for making me believe that I could be happy. Thanks for doing all that, but why would you do that if you were going to crush my hopes in the cruelest manner possible. If you were going to pretend we didn’t know each other the next day?!” Kyungsoo is crying and punching him and Jongin is at a loss because he has a feeling he’s not just talking about him anymore. He pulls the broken boy into his embrace and pats his head.

 

    “I’m sorry.”

 

    “No you’re not. Stop lying. Stop it.” Kyungsoo hiccups but he finds himself hugging Jongin tighter and tighter with every word.

 

    “I’m sorry for what happened. But I need you to tell me what I did wrong.”

 

    “You’re using me. You’re using me for just like everyone else and I hate you.”

 

    “...Hah?” Jongin raises an eyebrow in confusion because did Kyungsoo have with him within the past week?

 

    “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.”

 

    “Don’t hate me, Kyungsoo. Just...when did we have ?”

 

    “We didn’t you dumb!” Kyungsoo hits his head and now he’s even more confused.

 

    “Wha- then how could I be using you?”

 

    “You said it yesterday! You said that you just wanted from me!”

 

    “...Oh. You mean when I said we have to wait a year until we could have ?”

Kyungsoo sniffles and covers his face while nodding.

 

    “That doesn’t mean , Kyungsoo I just meant that we couldn’t have children...” He blushes before he could finish his sentence.

 

Kyungsoo tilts his head in confusion. Jongin starts pouting with a teary glint in his eyes and Kyungsoo wants to punch himself because Jongin is way too cute for his own good and he’s teary and his nose is red and HE’S TURNING INTO A SADIST GAHD STOP HIM.  

 

    “Anyways,” Jongin clears his throat and sniffles. “I am absolutely not using you for my own pleasure. So don’t even worry about that.”

 

Kyungsoo feels a warmth and reassurance spreading throughout his chest.

 

Ah. He’s feeling it again. Happiness. He’s smiling at himself when Jongin interrupts.

 

    “So I really make you feel all those things? I change your view about the world?”

 

 

Kyungsoo feels hot all of a sudden.

 

    “Shut up.”

 

Day 8:

 

    “Feed me, Kyungie.”

 

Kyungsoo blushes at the nickname.

 

    “Don’t call me that.” Jongin snickers.

 

    “You secretly like it huh. Say it Kyungiee!”

 

    “Shut up!” And Kyungsoo shoves the spoonful of fried rice in Jongin’s mouth so hard he almost chokes.

 

    “Oh my God I’m so sorry.” Kyungsoo panics hands him a bottle of water. When Jongin chugs half the bottle down, he sighs in relief.

 

    “Kyungiee I think...I think...” Jongin clutches his stomach and bends over.

 

    “What? What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo frantically asks.

 

    “I think I need CPR.” Jongin lifts his head towards Kyungsoo with his lips puckered. Kyungsoo’s eyes twitch and he punches Jongin’s mouth.

 

    “Ah! ! Kyungsoo! I’m bleeding on my lip!”

 

    “O-Oh. S-Sorry...” He meekly apologizes.  

 

    “I think I would feel better if you called me Jongin oppa.”

 

    “What? How would that make you feel better?! And I’m a boy.”

 

    “Owww my lippppp say it quick Kyungiee!”

 

    “Erm...Jongin Oppa.”

 

    “I couldn’t hear you.” Jongin inches closer to Kyungsoo’s face and the latter blushes from the intense gaze. “Say it again.”

 

    “J-Jongin Oppa.” Jongin smirks and Kyungsoo turns an impossible shade of red.

 

    “Good job, Kyungsoo. Now kiss me.”

 

He complies.

 

Kyungsoo thought during the rest of the bus ride. The  whole “oppa” thing was a blow to his man pride. How could he just give in like that? To a younger boy, too!

 

The bus comes to a halt.

 

    “Bye Kyungie! I’ll see you tomorrow!” Kyungsoo grips Jongin's wrist and gives a dangerous smirk. Jongin turns red from the sudden display of dominance. His lips ghost around the shell of Jongin’s ear.

 

    “I’m 21 by the way.” He nearly purrs. “This oppa will see you tomorrow Jonginnie.”

 

Jongin almost cries from the heat pooling his face.

 

Day 9:

 

    “Why do you always ride this bus?”

 

    “Because I can.”

 

    “Kyungsoo, that’s not an answer. I’m just curious about you.”

 

    “Hmmm. Well for one thing, it’s peaceful in this bus.” He gives Jongin a pointed look. “Or, it was.”

 

   Jongin laughs and leans Kyungsoo’s head against his shoulders.

Kyungsoo mentally notes how broad it is.

 

    “And..I can observe the outside world without being part of it.” Jongin hums.

 

    “There’s too much pain outside. I don’t want to go outside.”

 

    “So you’re going to seclude yourself in this bus forever?”

 

    “I don’t know. Stop making me question my life decisions.”

 

    “What about our dates? We’ve had all of them inside this bus.”

 

    “Those were dates?”

 

    “Asdfhskh uh were they not..to you? I mean I thought it was because I think you like me and I mean do you I dunno I shouldn’t ask that.”

 

    “You’re ranting.”

 

    “I know. I do that–”

    “–when you’re nervous. Yeah.” Kyungsoo snuggles closer. “We should have a real date sometime.”

 

    “In the bus?” Jongin questions and Kyungsoo ponders.

 

    “I don’t know.”

 

    “I’ll protect you from the outside.” Kyungsoo turns red.

 

    “What?”

 

    “I’ll protect you. So come outside with me next time. Not just when you go home. We can go to amusement parks, drink bubble tea, go to the library, and tell me more about yourself. Outside.”

Kyungsoo gulps, and feels an unsettling feeling on the pit of his stomach.

 

    “It doesn’t have to be soon. I won’t rush you.” Jongin intertwines his fingers with him and uses his free hand to ruffle his hair.

 

    “Kyungsoo?”

 

    “Hmm?”

 

    “I love you. And it won’t be short-lived.”

 

Day 10:

 

Kyungsoo was worried.

Jongin wasn’t at his usual bus stop, so he sat alone in the bus.

 

Was the bus always this lonely?

 

He took out his cellphone and briefly wondered if he should call.

 

He settled for text.

 

To: Jongin

    Are you not riding the bus today?

 

From Jongin:

    No, I am. I just missed the bus that’s all. ♥♥♥ I’ll be at the next stop. Aww you were worried? (*≧▽≦) (●⌒∇⌒●) ＼(^▽^＠)ノ

 

To Jongin:

    Tch. No. Absolutely not. And the excessive use of emoticons look ridiculous. (；￣Д￣）

 

He threw the emoticon in to give Jongin something to complain about. He didn’t want the conversation to end so fast.

 

God, he was such a fool in love.

 

From Jongin:

    Haha, you threw that emoticon in knowing I would complain. I can see the bus now.

 

Kyungsoo blushed.

How did Jongin know him so well? They only met 10 days ago. Kyungsoo never imagined that he would let someone from the outside break his shell so easily.

 

    “Kyungsoo!” Jongin panted while he ran to the back of the bus.

 

    “Did you run here?”

 

    “Yeah. I missed the bus so I had to chase after it.”

 

    “You ran after it? You don’t even look athletic.”

 

    “What?! Excuse you, I was the ace on my high school basketball team. I would be like BAM BAM and then we’d win in a snap.” Kyungsoo laughed at the ridiculous poses Jongin made.

 

    “You fool.” He leaned his head against Jongin’s shoulders and kissed his cheek. “God, why do I even love you.”

 

    “...”

 

Kyungsoo looked up from the silence.

 

    “Jongin? What’s wrong?”

Jongin was completely red, his hands covering his face.

 

    “You...You just said you loved me.”

Kyungsoo paused. Oh damn.

 

    “I-I-well yeah. I did.” Jongin leaned closer and kissed his lips.

 

    “I love you too.” He kissed his nose. “I love you so much.” He kissed his cheeks. “I love everything about you.” Jongin held him when the bus halted for the next stop.

 

And like he always felt when he was with this stupid boy, Kyungsoo felt warm inside; like he was not alone and that perhaps his vision of our society today was wrong because people like Jongin exist–

 

“Kai.” Jongin’s eyes widen and his face pales as he flips his head to the side. Kyungsoo stares at the skinny boy in front of him, stomach abnormally round. Kyungsoo tries to intertwine his fingers with Jongin, but Jongin swats his hands away.

 

“Sehun, how did you know I was here?”

 

“When you left our house, I followed you and saw you get on the bus. And who’s this?” He points and Kyungsoo can’t help but look at Jongin expectantly.

 

Lover? Boyfriend? F-Future Husband? Kyungsoo turns red just from the thoughts.

 

“No one, I just met him right now. Let’s get out of here, Hunnie.” Jongin tries to leave with the boy, but the boy- Sehun - remains adamant.

 

         “You left me alone with our child on our marriage anniversary to ride a bus? Going nowhere?”  And Jongin leans over to kiss him on the lips and drag him out with intertwined hands. Jongin doesn’t spare him a look as he gets off of the bus.

 

But love...isn’t short-lived...?

 

And Kyungsoo sits there, frozen, the impact of what he just saw finally hitting him like a downpour of cold betrayal on a warm, sunny day.

His heart constricts, he feels queasy and he tries to keep his face stoic while watching Jongin make out with Sehun from the outside window but it contorts into something ugly and disgusting because–

 

What just happened? He desperately searches his head to make sense of the brutal reality set before him.

 

Marriage anniversary? OUR house? Our child? Hunnie? Kai? Who was Kai?

 

Who had he been in love with all this time? 19? Married at 19? Child?

 

Child.

He had a child.

 

All feelings vanish as he stares out the window, bus rushing past another “what could have been.”

 

    Kyungsoo, our modern society is not only made up of those terrible things.

 

He’s right, Kyungsoo thinks. He should be added to the list. Kai. Jongin. Whoever he was. He was a dangerous man, so carefully crafted in bull that even Kyungsoo couldn’t see past the wrapping. Everything about him was appealing; the right amount of awkward, cute, stupidity...

 

Stupid. Kyungsoo was stupid. He mentally scratches the boy’s name off of the list. He wasn’t a different type of terrible thing, he was just a little bit of everything put together.

 

Insanity. Lies. Abuse. Pain. Short-lived happiness. Illusions. Death. Boredom. Short-lived pleasure. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal.

 

Why does he feel so betrayed? What was he expecting from a world like this? Everything done to him was all his fault. It was his fault for trusting a piece of the modern world, for letting him in so easily. That boy was just a reminder from God showing him how even the most beautiful things aren’t actually beautiful. How actually, the most beautiful things are the worst kind.

 

He doesn't know why he's disappointed, or what he was expecting even. After all, in the back of his mind, he always knew. He knew he could never escape...this.

 

 

Day 11:

 

    The sky cries in his stead. Hard.

Kyungsoo remains pokerfaced, as if he never met the boy.

 

What if the boy really loved him?

 

But Kyungsoo figured it didn’t matter. It only enforces the fact that love is a messed up form of short-lived pleasure. The boy couldn’t find his own happiness so he was using him for the time being.

 

 

And just this once, Kyungsoo allows himself to cry once again. He hates this world and he hates his life and he doesn’t want to be pitied but for some reason he feels so empty. Being alone is only okay if you’re not used to people. But Jong– that boy ruined everything. Why does he keep craving warmth?

 

He cries in frustration because he knows but he has to admit it.

 

 

No matter how much he hates and runs from society, he would still be part of it. If he wasn't, why would he still want Jongin to come back to him? He wanted Jongin to betray his lover and be with him instead.

 

 

 

lmfao i “Are you alright?” The bus driver asks him.

 

lmfao i “No. I’m not. But you know what, don’t try to cheer me up because I know you’re going to give me pain in the end.” He snaps in annoyance.

 

yo“Alright.”

 

And the busdriver just stands there while he cries his eyes out.

 

“Go drive the goddam bus it’s your stupid job.”

 

“My shift was over an hour ago.”

 

 

 

“Then I’ll get off.” Kyungsoo wipes his face. “Thanks.”

 

lmfao i “It’s okay if you stay here.”

 

Kyungsoo hesitates and slowly sits back in his seat.

 

“Alright, cool." The bus driver picks at his nails. "What’s your name? My name’s–”

 

“Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. I just had my heart broken and I want to kill myself but I won’t because even if this world was filled with short-lived happiness it was absolutely worth the pain.” Kyungsoo wipes his fresh tears that are now streaming down his cheeks. “And this world is so full of but I’m going to cope with it. I’m not going to just sit here and wallow in my own misery, I’m going to make the best of this horror factory.”

 

The driver leans on the bus raile and grins. “I’m happy for you. But now I’ll be sad because I won’t see you in the bus.”

 

“Then why don’t you come outside with me.”

 

“..What?”

 

“If every person I meet is going to cause me some kind of pain, I might as well get it over with now.” Kyungsoo sniffles and cleans up his face. “Shall we go?”

 

The driver boy laughs.

 

lmfao i "Sure.”