“I’m sorry.”

It was the last thing Baekhyun remembered about Taeyeon, about the older woman he had had crush on for years. The woman was simply putting him aside when he was deemed unfit for her. But Baekhyun, unknowingly, knew it was the best. The said crush he had on her was a mere interest but was never more than that. So when Taeyeon actually return his interest back, they went out.

However, the feeling they had for each other never grew, and they simply drifted apart in time. Then one day—everything felt like a blur—Baekhyun went to a secret place where he and Taeyeon had agreed to meet up, Taeyeon was there, but not alone. The older woman was talking to someone and there was distressed and determination in her voice.

“I know that. I’m going to tell him so don’t you worry,” She said.

Baekhyun had hid himself behind the wall separating the room and the door in front of him. He didn’t know why he was there, hiding, when all he should do was walked in, caught her in any action she was doing.

So he eventually did.

Taeyeon had wide-eyes, but she didn’t seem to be really surprised. They had agreed to meet up there, but Baekhyun had arrived an hour earlier.

“Baek,”

“Noona,” Baekhyun’s voice was calm and flat.

“Look, Baek…” Taeyeon bit her lower lip and glanced at the man beside her, who Baekhyun recognized as Wooyoung from 2PM.

Baekhyun waited for Taeyeon to continue. He knew what would happen, but he still waited, because he simply didn’t want to walk away unknowing. He wanted to know the reason Taeyeon breaking up with him—although with a glance he knew the reason was the man beside her. But he just wanted to know—what’s different?

It turned out Taeyeon had always been hopelessly in love with Wooyoung, and they had broken up a few times, but they would always be back together again. Baekhyun didn’t know that, but he stayed silent to listen. Taeyeon said that she really did interested in him, but in the end she would always choose Wooyoung. Because no matter how many times they break up, they would always be back together again.

Baekhyun just said ‘okay’ and ‘good luck’ in the end, with a sincere smile gracing on his lips.

 

-

 

“Chanyeol,” The tall boy extended his hand out to Baekhyun, who was slightly intimidated because of their height differences.

“Baekhyun,” Baekhyun took his hand and shook it.

“You must be really amazing that you’re chosen to be in the group for training only in a year,” Chanyeol said in his deep, warm voice.

Baekhyun nodded, agreeing. “I guess so.” He smiled, and pulled away.

Chanyeol smiled widely, his eyes twitching and twinkling.

It was how they first met.

 

-

 

“Hey, check this out,” Chanyeol’s voice boomed in the small dorm room as he stared in front of the laptop. “Girls’ Generation sunbaes have new song released!”

Baekhyun went over to him and watched the music video together with Chanyeol. “Wow, they are really pretty,”

“I know!” Chanyeol grinned.

“Taeyeon sunbae is really beautiful and she has great voice,” Baekhyun said as Taeyeon appeared on the screen.

“You like her?”

“Yeah,”

Baekhyun didn’t notice the slight change in Chanyeol’s expression.

 

-

 

“Holy Baek! We get to be in TaeTiSeo’s Twinkle music video!” Chanyeol shouted and ran toward his best friend, hugging the smaller guy.

Baekhyun jumped in his arms, happy to receive the news. He had heard from their manager and Baekhyun couldn’t be happier at the thought of being one step closer toward his dream girl.

“You get to be near your ideal girl, Baek. You lucky ,” Chanyeol said playfully.

“I know right!” He grinned, looking over the Twinkle’s music video script.

Chanyeol didn’t say anything afterward.

 

-

 

“Chanyeol-ah,”

Chanyeol was strumming his guitar when the door of his room was opened by his manager.

“Yes, hyung?”

“You get this proposal for this reality show—it’s something about living together as housemates,” The manager wrinkled his brows, not really understanding the concept. He gave Chanyeol the contract file. Chanyeol took it and read a few paragraph before looking back at the manager.

“It requires me living with other people. I have to move out from here,” Chanyeol said with matter-of-factly tone.

“Yeah, what about it? Are you up for it?”

“I don’t know hyung. Can I think about it for some time? I haven’t gotten my mind back since Law of the Jungle.” He teasingly said.

The manager laughed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Whenever you have the answer, just come see me.”

 

-

 

It wasn’t a day later when Baekhyun came into the room while Chanyeol was reading the contract file, thinking.

“Guess what, Yeol-ah,” Baekhyun grinned with those small cherry lips of his that Chanyeol thought was really adorable and presumably sweet—because Chanyeol had never tasted it yet.

Chanyeol smiled at him in wonder.

“Taeyeon noona called me back, saying that she wants to know me better.”

Chanyeol’s smile faltered for a second, but he immediately plastered the smile back again.

 

-

 

“Hyung,”

Manager Hyung looked over his shoulder, finding a distressed Chanyeol looking at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Chanyeol paused, “I just decided that I will go through the reality show.”

 

-

 

It was around March and Chanyeol was inside the practice room with other members except Baekhyun and Suho. The two were at SBS, mcing for Inkigayo. He was sweating after practicing for hours and laid down on the floor to rest. He was thinking about his decision about moving into the house where he’ll meet new people and how he should act on it.

The practice room door slid open and in walked Baekhyun and Suho. The two had changed their stage attire into something more comfortable to practice in. Baekhyun skipped toward Chanyeol with a wide grin on his small face. Chanyeol couldn’t resist to smile back and to wonder what could make Baekhyun to be so happy.

Baekhyun whispered that they should go somewhere private because Baekhyun had something he wanted to tell. Chanyeol had always been grateful that he was one of those rare people Baekhyun could always confide in, but he didn’t know if he should feel so this time.

“I asked Taeyeon noona out last night and she said yes,” Baekhyun smiled. “A freaking yes, Chan! Can you believe it!?”

Chanyeol stood in his spot, frozen and rigid as Baekhyun’s sentence whirled in his mind. It took him a whole minute to get back into his senses and swatted away the numbness to reply, “Great.” Chanyeol faked a smile. “That’s amazing,”

Baekhyun was too happy to realize.

 

-

 

“What the hell is this?!” Suho shouted, chest heaving up and down.

All the members looked down at the newspaper on the table, feeling the same way as Suho.

“How can Kris do this to us!?” He continued angrily. He wasn’t one to get mad easily, but the news came as a hard blow on his part. He was the leader of their group, as well as Kris. Kris might not think so, but he was the person who could make the group to do what they have to do.

Chanyeol looked down, feeling devastated. Just when EXO was doing fine… why was Kris doing this? He knew something was off with Kris; he hadn’t been feeling well—everyone knew. But they didn’t know it was that terrible that he chose to leave.

Chanyeol was too deep in his thought that he didn’t notice a certain black haired, small figure boy slipped away from the practice room that night.

 

-

 

“What the hell, Baek?” Chanyeol muttered angrily. “You should have stayed inside. You knew how risky it was! Didn’t you think of us?!”

The news about Baekhyun dating Taeyeon broke out, just a month after Kris leaving EXO news came out. Chanyeol was furious with Baekhyun; not because the small guy dated, but because how careless Baekhyun was. Out of all them, he considered Baekhyun as someone responsible, even though the boy acted as if he didn’t. The other members felt the same way.

“I was sad, couldn’t my girlfriend comfort me?”

“Yes, she could, but not in the public inside a convertible car with open roof! It was like telling the world, ‘WE’RE DATING AND YOU CAN’T DO A THING ABOUT IT!’ damnit! I’m disappointed in you,”

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol as the taller man burst out in anger. He was mad, furious even. Baekhyun found himself speechless because Chanyeol had never been like that to him. Never. Baekhyun liked the special feeling Chanyeol—purposely or not—had made him feel.

And he wondered why he felt like his heart was being prick.

 

-

 

After breaking up with Taeyeon, Baekhyun went back to the dorm and immediately went to his room. The other members were either sleeping or lounging in the living room. He the light of his room and found the bedroom empty. Of course, why wouldn’t it be? Chanyeol was living with his housemate now, why would he be in the room he shared with Baekhyun?

That night, Baekhyun laid down on his bed after turning off the light, staring off into the darkness as he thought of Chanyeol.

 

-

 

“I want to tell you something,” Baekhyun muttered to a sweaty Chanyeol, who was running at the treadmill.

They were at the gym, trying to make some packs on their stomach so for the next concert, they could be showing off their abs.

Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun who was standing beside him, holding a towel and a bottle of water. He sighed when he realized he couldn’t say no to Baekhyun, no matter what. He pressed the stop button and followed Baekhyun to the locker room. Baekhyun offered the towel which Chanyeol took soundlessly.

After that confrontation Chanyeol did, they had somewhat drifted apart. Sure, in front of the fans they acted as if nothing happened, but in Baekhyun’s case, he could feel the restrain and tension Chanyeol oozed out. Chanyeol didn’t bother to say anything anyway. He didn’t bother to apologize; although he did though, but it wasn’t as sincere as he hoped to come out. Because seriously, who could possibly be really happy seeing the person they like be with someone else? None.

“What do you want to talk about?” Chanyeol asked, not bothered to tone down his voice.

“I want to tell you that I’ve broken up with Taeyeon.” Baekhyun said, not bothered to hide behind the bushes. “I’m planning to tell manager hyung as soon as possible. Although I think he had found out first.”

Chanyeol’s hand stopped mid-air, the towel hanging awkwardly as he tried to process Baekhyun’s words. “What happened?” He found himself asking, bringing the towel to wipe his face.

“Apparently Taeyeon noona was in love with someone else; she’s still in love with him now.” Baekhyun said.

There was a silence.

“Baek—”

“But you know what the funny thing was?” Baekhyun asked, cutting Chanyeol off. “I didn’t feel hurt as much as I should have.”

Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun with pain in his eyes, feeling sympathetic or pitiful; Chanyeol didn’t know.

“I didn’t feel pain in my heart. I didn’t feel as if I was being prickled with needles.” Baekhyun swallowed. “But I remember the time when I did feel so,” He looked up, meeting Chanyeol’s eyes. “I felt like my heart was pricked when you shouted at me last time. I wondered why I felt so hurt, but the answer came a while later.”

Chanyeol wasn’t really sure where the conversation was going, but his heart beat hard in his chest. His veins were tightening and he could only stare back at Baekhyun.

“When I went home after breaking up with Taeyeon noona, I went inside our bedroom and found it empty. The funny thing was, the only empty space wasn’t in the room. It was here.” Baekhyun placed a hand in front of his chest—somewhere his heart should have been.

Chanyeol found a lump in his throat as he waited for Baekhyun to continue. This couldn’t have been happening…

“I miss you, and I’m sorry for only noticing it now.” Baekhyun muttered, head titled down in shame.

“W-what are you talking about?” Chanyeol forced himself to ask.

This wasn’t real.

“You might think this was a joke, but I think that I like you—more than I had ever liked Taeyeon noona. She and I both were only interested in each other, but there was something about you that grew in me. There was something about you that nobody else has and… and you make me feel special.” A blush crept into Baekhyun’s cheeks.

“A-are you serious?”

“I know this is weird and I don’t know if you’re straight, but I just want to tell you this—that I like you, maybe in love as well, and… and I want you to know.” Baekhyun took a deep breath. “I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend, but I just… I just want you to be aware of my feeling.” Then he looked back up at Chanyeol. “I-I’ll be at the rooftop if you’re looking.”

 

-

 

“Since when?” Chanyeol asked.

“What?”

“Did you realize that I love you?”

“I didn’t.” Baekhyun huffed. “I didn’t know it until you came barging into the rooftop and hugged me. I wasn’t even aware you’re not straight.”

“I thought you’re straight.”

“Excuse me, but I was bi. I like both es.”

Chanyeol’s lips formed an ‘O’. “I see.”

“And you! How could you not tell me about your feelings all these years?!”

“I thought you were infatuated with Taeyeon noona, so I didn’t bother to try. It would be pointless. I mean, who could ever beat Taeyeon noona you know?”

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “You,”

Chanyeol chuckled, brushing Baekhyun’s brown colored hair. He had changed his hair from black to brown again, despite Chanyeol stating that he looked hotter in black. Brown color, however, reminded Chanyeol of innocence. Baekhyun’s innocence.

“Well, isn’t that great?” Baekhyun asked. “That you could beat the best leader in the world,”

Chanyeol snorted. “In the name of your love, you mean?”

“Of course,” Baekhyun chirped.

Chanyeol shook his head. “You’re hopeless, Baek.”

Baekhyun gave him a glance. “The hopeless boy you’re hopelessly in love with.” He cheekily grinned.

“Yes, yes, that’s right.” Chanyeol then leaned down to capture the small cherry lips which he had fallen in love with from day one.