“Did you hear? He's coming back to school tomorrow.”

“Really? No way! Why?”

“Well, he just wants to finish his last year of high school. I think that's actually nice of him. Not dropping out like that.”

You can't help but overhear your classmates' interesting discussion, especially when one of the girls looks particularly excited. “Who's coming back?”

“What? You don't know? I thought you'd be the first to know, considering how close the two of you are. It's Yongguk of course. Who else in this school is famous?”

“Really?!” Your face immediately broke into a smile.

Oh, Yongguk. He was a grade higher then you and your best friend. The two of you had met in your first year of high school and had quickly formed a great friendship. He was your best friend. He even told you that he was a trainee at TS Entertainment, which you thought was highly interesting. After he debuted a few months ago, you had been at his side (or well, off to the side) supporting him no matter what. At B.A.P's showcase, you fought for seats at the very front, so you could see your dear idol so close. However since the stage was so bright, and where you were sitting was so dark, he couldn't see you. But you were his fan, and he needed his fans' support.

You quickly hurry to your desk and sent a quick text to Yongguk before class began: I heard our little Yonggukie was coming back to school tomorrow! Is it true?

You were surprised at the immediate response: Yup. I have a lot of stuff to do at school tomorrow though...so how about meeting me at the front gates after school so we can hang out?

After a quick reply of: Mmhhm! Sounds good, can't wait! You turn your phone off and fidget in your seat. You can't wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes too slowly, and as time ticks too slowly by, and you lose interest in the lesson, you keep telling yourself that it isn't until the end of school you can see him. So you must wait, and focus a little longer.

At lunch, you sit alone in your usual seat in the hallway and leisurely eat as you check some things on your cellphone. You keep telling yourself you only had a few more hours to go until you could finally see your friend again. As much as you wanted to rush all around school and find him during lunch, you knew he must be very busy talking to teachers and the principal, trying to find a schedule that would fit his hectic schedule as the leader of B.A.P. You hadn't seen Yongguk since he left school a few months ago. Although you remained in close contact online your conversations never lasted over fifteen minutes. You were excited to finally see him face to face again. As you were packing your lunchbox back into it's bag, you smiled at the small bag of cookies you had made the night before for him. Before he left to start filming for Ta-Dah (a show you had no idea what was even about) you had given them to him as a goodbye gift, along with a letter wishing him 'good luck' on everything.

The bell finally rang, and although it was the same old bell you had heard many times today, it felt like a sweet melody to your ears. You grabbed your bag and didn't even have time to say goodbye to your other friends. You rushed down the stairs, trying your best the avoid the prying eyes of teachers who were ready to give any student who was running down the halls a firm lecture. You burst out the front doors of school and dashed down the courtyard to the gates, but you were stopped by the sight of a huge cluster of girls, all screaming your best friend's name.

You decided to wait the girls out. It was hard to keep back your wave of emotions as you stood in the back of the big cluster of screaming girls. Suddenly a deep voice filled your ears, and you tried to take a glimpse of the man through the clump.

“Yongguk! Yongguk! Sign this! Yongguk, Yongguk I love you!”

You had been used to hearing all of these things. You continued to observe the crowd, at first you thought it was just female students from your school but as you caught more glimpses you saw flashes of other school's uniforms and non-student women who looked far older then you. You clutched the small bag of cookies and tried to fight to the front as the crowd of fangirls grew larger and larger.

You wondered if you could get his attention. You waved your had furiously in the air and called his name, but soon realized that it would all be a lost cause, but you continued to scream, hoping he would recognize his best friend's voice. Yongguk just continued to laugh and smile at the crowd, totally undisturbed by your frantic yelling. My phone! Duh! you quickly dialed his number and held the phone up to your ears. In no time, Yongguk's phone was ringing. He took once glance at it, ignored the call and turned his phone off before returning to greet the crowd of girls.

You were hurt by his action, but continued to wave your hand, trying to get his attention. Finally, as you managed to squeeze through the crowd, you locked eyes with him. His smile immediately left as he looked at your smiling face. Seeing his fading smile, yours faded as well.

“Yongguk...?” You almost whispered.

“Yongguk! Are you gonna attend school now?” A girl asked.

“No, I just dropped out. But that's because I have more important things to attend to! You girls should stay in school, but remember. School is only school. Don't let it define you.”

Even with such supportive words ringing in your ears. You slinked out of the crowd, the burning image of Yongguk's disgusted face at yours burned clearly in your mind. You smashed the cookies on the ground and ran home.

Back home, you tried to calm yourself down. Something unexpected had happened, yes. But that didn't give you an excuse to react in such a way. You were his fan, his best friend. You had to support him. Something probably just came up, yes that. You smiled and started on your homework.

After finishing your homework, you received a text message from Yongguk: Sorry about today...I can explain. It's ju You laughed, he did always have the habit of accidentally sending texts before finishing them. As you were about to reply with an It's okay. I understand. Your phone started ringing.

“Yongguk! I just got your text. It's totally okay.”

“No, it's not okay. Listen, I need to talk to you.”

“Really, it's fine. I'll still support you and be your fan!”

“That's the thing. I just want you to be my fan.”

“What? I've always been your fan...I don't understand what you're saying.”

“I mean...I don't think we should talk anymore- No, be friends anymore.”

Your palms went sweaty and your mind couldn't function correctly, “W-What?”

“I'm sorry.”

Then the line went dead. You didn't bother to call him back. You didn't cry. You couldn't feel angry, nor sad. Your head was too busy spinning with a million other emotions. Hurt? Betrayal? Heartbreak? What could describe this feeling? You closed your eyes and tried to empty your mind. No, it was better this way. No matter the circumstances, you had promised to support him back when he first debuted. You couldn't, no you didn't want to break that promise. You were his fan, nothing but his fan.

Months past, your friendship with B.A.P's Bang Yongguk just a fragment of a memory. You did admit it still hurt so see him shining so brightly. But you supported him none the less. You cheered in the front at his concerts, went to fansignigns and acknowledged him as nothing more then an idol your were crazy about, and he acknowledged you as another fan in the crowd.

You were browsing makeup in a cosmetic store, suddenly a familiar tune played out, Is the sound of the rain, your voice? Is this a sound that calls to me? Am I the only one thinking of you? Will this rain comfort me?

You start singing along with the song, knowing every word by heart of course. Your voice is hushed, but you don't really mind if the other women around you hear. It's just singing after all.

“Excuse me?” A women in a suit taps your shoulder.

“Oh, sorry. Was I disturbing you?” You quickly stop singing.

“No! The exact opposite.” The woman reached into her pocket and pulled out a business card, holding it in front of you. “I'm one of the audition managers at SM Entertainment. I'd like to offer you an invitation to our upcoming global audition. You know...if the other managers find out I scouted you, you have a 50% higher chance of getting in.” She smiled.

You tried to wrap your head around what was happening, sure you've heard of idols being street scouted but you had never thought you would be one of them. Your wanting hands hesitate over the card, “Y-You really work for SM?”

“Yup! Don't worry, miss. I'm not lying at all. Plus, auditions are free anyway. It doesn't hurt to try.”

You take the pink card with the SM logo on it and thank her. When she leaves, you're left in a daze as the final notes of Rain Sound fade out of the store.

You take a deep breath. Your manager tells you that you'll be fine, and to give it all you got. You swear you feel like you're going to pass out. But as you hear a crowd of people shout your name, it both empowers you and makes you want to run back to your bedroom, no not the dorm you had been living in for the past few years, but the bedroom you grew up in. No, you shake the negative thoughts away. You had trained 4 years,suffered a horrible leg injury, gone against every female trainee in SM and been set to debut as a solo singer. That debut was today. That debut stage was M!Countdown and this show happened to be hosted by your dear friend Stephanie of The Grace and Bang Yongguk.

You didn't expect Yongguk to know who this young singer he was introducing was. You didn't expect him to even bat an eyelash of actually even knowing who the girl who was plastered over half of Seoul was either. And you didn't care. You were still his fan, but nothing but his fan.

You hear Yongguk's deep voice introduce your name, or well, your stage name. Music blares out. Your heart beats as fast as a warrior. You look out at the crowd, waving signs with your name on it. You make a grand entrance, and hit every step of the opening dance you had practiced so many times.

“My singing got better after breaking up with you. After living crazily with music, all the song lyrics seemed like my story so I sang them to death. Little by little, slowly, my tears dried...” Your singing was joined by the fanchants. It made your heart beat faster as the support of your fans grow larger.

Hitting a high note you turned to face the side of the stage and your eyes landed on a tall figure of a man backstage. Since it's so bright where you are and so dark where he is, you can barely see his face. But you know he looks shocked, you know he looks excited. You know he looks like he was just struck down by a rueful goddess. But you weren't rueful, no not at all.

After all, Yongguk was just your fan, and nothing but your fan.

ailee-singing got better