Daeyeol had convinced his parents to not allow the doctor to ‘pull the plug’.

“But we’re hurting him, not letting him go,” his mother had reasoned. He couldn’t understand why she was speaking as if Sungyeol was gone, like all hope was gone…

“He’ll come back to us mom, you’ll see. He has to, he will.”

He wasn’t aware that he was convincing himself more than his mother. Three weeks are a long time – a sprinkling of hope was dying within him. He was afraid that it would corrupt the rest of the hope and he would be left with nothing.

He needed to persevere. Sungyeol would have, if it had been him in the ICU. He would have, if it had been Sungjong in the ICU.

Sungjong though was another story. Where was his affection, his love, his loyalty?

Sungyeol had told Sungjong that he’d die for him. What could Sungjong do for him?

He texted Sungjong again, frantically punching the keys on his phone.

Save him, Sungjong, save me.

Babe, I couldn’t be your first so I wanted to be your last.

All those people before me that you had in your life, you told me about each of them. You said how indecisive you were, and even though you had enjoyed your time with them, they didn’t feel right.

Taemin, Daehyun, Howon, Dongwoo, Sunggyu – they were a string of people you had grown attached to at certain points of your life, but to me, they were a string of people who had disappointed you in the end.

I thought about them even though I didn’t know them – how could they even think about leaving you? I couldn’t do it even if my life depended on it.

What you hadn’t told me was, you were the one who had left them. I didn’t find out until you walked away from me, secretly; but I knew.

Did you want to tell me, like you said to them, that you had lost your feelings for me? At that time, I agreed with you. You had just grown out of them, and I was glad because that meant I could have you all to myself. But then I realised, when I was the victim myself, that feelings don’t walk away, but people do.

Like you did, my love.

You were hopeful about me at first, weren’t you? You said that there was something special about me. Do you still think so? You probably don’t, because in the end, I disappointed you as well. I couldn’t be there by your side like I had promised.

It’s raining, love.

The sky can’t even hold my tears, and I wanted it to hold us and everything we knew, just the way we knew them, forever. I was asking for a miracle, but being with you made me feel like miracles are real. That was until you jerked me awake just as suddenly as you’d put me in the dream. I thought you were an angel, but you were too human to be one, and I was too human to see it.