I hurried down the metal stairs and ducked under the black curtains. Hands quickly stripped me of my leather jacket and white graphic crop top while I took off my jeans. I reached for a tissue and padded down the sweat forming from all over my face. I threw it onto the table and slipped my arms through another shirt. I pulled my American Apparel black hoodie over my shoulders and slid my legs through a pair of studded harlem pants. I kicked off my white Adidas and switched into more comfortable black Nike sneakers. I looked into the mirror and let my make up team fix up any flaws while my stylist team put on the final touches to my outfit with some jewelry and chains here and there.

           "Hyoyeon, you're on in 10, 9, 8…" the director said.         

           My team gave me a thumbs up and I was out for the stage within two minutes of coming in. The VCR played its last few seconds as I took in deep breaths to calm my fast beating heart. I glanced out to the crowd and I smiled bitterly at the fans. After all I've put them through I still cry tears of happiness every time I come out and they're still there. There were a few empty seats here and there but I couldn't thank them enough to attend my very first solo concert.

           Solo. That fact still scares me. It still makes me feel regretful but what's done, is done. I can only do my best for them now. My sisters, where are they now? Are they doing fine without me? Of course they are. They push me away because of this. But what can I do? All I can do now is make them not regret.

           This last stretch is dedicated to you girls.

           The screen becomes dark and I run out to center stage. Fireworks shoot up into the open air concert hall. Lights burst and I take its energy.

           "Everyone throw your hands up!" I scream into the mic as I bob my head to the song.

           The fans scream even louder and I could feel my smile run across my face. I could feel their hearts pounding against mine and that's when I knew they haven't forgotten this song.

           "Everyone remember this song?!" I put the mic out and wrap my hands behind my ear as "I Am" played.

           They scream even louder.

           "Then sing along with me!" I jump up and run towards the strip at the middle of the hall.

           This one's for you, Yuri.

           I rapped the first verse with the biggest smile on my face and sang the rest with my fans. The song went on and the atmosphere never died. Instead, it raged on. Three minutes passed and the song was about to end. Instead of going straight to the next song, I eyed the director and gave him a little signal not to continue. He nodded.

           The song finally came to an end and I couldn't stop my heart from fluttering. This was a feeling I felt since as long as I could remember. My hands were shaking so I grabbed a water bottle from the stage floor and took a sip. I looked at the fans still screaming with happiness.  With their smiles, I gained courage and continued with my last minute change.

           "Everyone!" I smiled. "It's been a long three years hasn't it?" my eyes wavered.

           Their screams died down and they could feel what I was about to say, was important.

           "Thank you for continuing to support me even though we all have parted ways. I'm sorry for making this sad speech during a concert," I laughed. "It's supposed to be a fun time right? Well this next song is important to me and I thought I should give you the reason."

           They all became quiet.

           "We've all been through a lot. There were so many rumors and criticism from all sides. Some even left but some stayed with us through thick and thin and I can’t thank you enough," my eyes began to water. "Taetae's off doing a world tour, Sica's making the clothes on your backs and the shoes on your feet, Sunny's singing her heart out on stage with her fellow actors, Fany's living her dream in the states," I blinked away the few tears forming. "Yuri's teaching kids dance and showing off her body in every magazine, Sooyoung's somewhere in Japan with her old partner making Route 0 alive again, Yoona's on all your TV's, and last but not least, our little maknae…” my words wavered, “our little maknae is the youngest congresswoman."

           I laughed a bit at the thought of Seohyun being a congresswoman. She really did it. We all did it and we've all moved on. I looked up towards the crowd and they all chanted "don't cry". How could I not cry even more from them?

           I wiped the few tears and gathered up my courage. "Thank you, Sones! For staying by my side! This next song," I looked at the director and he nodded, "is for my eight sisters. Wherever you are, I hope you hear this song."

           The song began to play.

           "That's right, Sones! This next song is Taeyang sunbaenim's 1AM!"

           I smiled and jogged back up to center stage with fireworks following my steps. I clapped my hands above my head and the crowd followed along with their screams. My heart raced again and I began the song.

                                I'm forgetting you one by one, burying memories of you

                                As if it was just a typical dream, it’s alright

                                So I try to awkwardly smile once again

                                When your thick scent passes by me,

                                I die, kills me inside

           I'm sorry Sones. I'm so thankful that you've all stayed with me and took this journey with me but I feel like I shouldn’t deserve all of this. I've failed all of you. I promised to do everything I could to keep us nine together forever but I didn't keep it.

                                Stop thinking about him, stop missing him

                                How can I erase you for today?

                                So I jump in my car go for a ride

                                Scream as if I’m crazy, hands in the air

           I look at the crown and I saw something I thought I'd never see. The fans were moving out of the way for someone to pass. I looked and I saw my biggest fan. I smiled and I saw her smile too. How long have I not seen her smile in person? Aren't you supposed to be in America rolling up a storm? She got up on stage and ran to hug me while I kept singing.

                                My friends say it’s over, that it’ll be okay

                                As they comfort me with a smile

                                But I just want you by my side right now

           She smiled at me again and walked a few feet away and waved her hands in the air along with the music. Then I heard uproar. Fans screamed the loudest I've heard tonight but I couldn't see who it was from the spotlight on me.

                                I mindlessly chat with them

                                Get drunk in the music

                                Holding on to the end of the night as I dance

                                And when I think of you, it’s 1AM

                                As if I forgot you, I just start laughing

                                Spending nights with strange faces

                                Holding on to the end of the night as I dance

                                And when I think of you, it’s 1AM

           As they passed through the light I realized it was two people. What are they doing here? Don’t they all have more important things to do? But I’ve missed my baby so much and my idiot friend. They beamed their smiles at me.

           The tall tan model engulfs me into such a tight hug I couldn’t get the next few lyrics out. Then my maknae hugs the both of us. They laughed along and went off to stir up the crowd. Don’t tell me there’s more?

                                I remember your pretty eyes that let me go

                                So coldly, as if it was noth