BREAKING NEWS: EXO'S BAEKHYUN IS CONFIRMED TO BE DATING SNSD'S TAEYEON

I cant feel anything except the numbness thats going through my whole body at the moment as I stare at the computer screen.

Tears are flowing down on my cheeks uncontrollably. I grip my chest as my heart ache even more.

My oppa, my idol, my inspiration,  my everything,  he is dating another girl. The smile that I fell in love with is no longer mine. That laughter. That boy,  he is no longer mine.

People always say, dont fall for your idols too hard. One day, they will fall in love with another girl and they will never notice you. They will never know that you exist. I know. I know it will happen. I know he will fall in love with another girl. I know he will never notice me. But I still fell hard for him. To the point whereby I just want to kill myself when I hear the news.

I felt betrayed.  But what wrong did he do? He never dated me before.  He never knew im here. He have no reason not to fall in love with another girl. He have every right to fall in love with whoever he like. But why, why do I still feel so betrayed?

First Kris, now Baekhyun. I don't know what to feel anymore.  Kris incident already made me cried for a few nights and now Baekhyun? My bias. I dont know how to feel anymore. Im so tired. Im now afraid to open my Twitter account to see another news about the EXO boys. Im afraid that there will be another news about them. Im very very scared. 

When they are tired, we will always ask them to rest well, we will scold the company for making them work so hard. We will raise money and give it to charity under their name. We will send food to production teams to show our support. We will show our support in whatever they do. When they say 'Thank You', do they really mean it?

Now whenever I see an idol saying 'I Love You' to the fangirls, I wonder,  do they really mean to say that to us? Or is it for that special someone they have waiting for them?

The pain will heal as the time goes by, but there will always be a scar left behind. I hope idols will understand that what they do affect their fangirls very greatly. It really hurt us when we see such news about them.

I have thoughts about leaving the fandom but hey,  if you start loving, do it till the end. Im gonna be an EXO stan till the end. No matter what happen, ill still be a fan of EXO. IM PROUD TO BE AN EXO STAN.