Final

When Sehun comes home from school one hot afternoon, a chocolate boba tea in one hand, and a wintermelon on the other, and sees Luhan’s sullen face, looking out in the dusty window of their dorm room, he knows that the wintermelon with extra tapioca pearls with 50% sugar only (just like how Luhan likes it) will soon fill his already chocolate-boba tea filled stomach and will disable him to eat dinner afterwards.

Nonetheless, he approaches his roommate.

“Hi hyung! Bought you your faveyboba tea!”

Silence.

Said hyungdoesn't even bother looking his way.

“How have you been, hyung?”Sehun asks instead, flopping down on the opposite bunk as he removes his shoes, tossing it to the floor.

Even with the bad odour of Sehun’s feet that usually emits a violent reaction from one Luhan, the latter didn’t even spare a single glance on the younger boy. Sehun turns to look at Luhan, and when he sees that the doe-eyed male barely even moved from his position, he gives an awkward laugh.

“You’re fine, thank you? Aren’t you going to ask about me?”

“What about you?” Luhan drawls, his lack of interest very evident with the monotonous tone of his voice.

“Fine hyung,” Sehun rolls his eyes and throws his emptied chocolate boba tea in a trashcan. He pokes the new straw on the supposed-to-be Luhan’s beverage, “very fine because I get to enjoy this boba tea I skipped lunch for in favour of saving my money to buy since it seems like you don’t want it anyway.”

“I thought you bought that for me?”

“Not anymore, hyung. Not anymore. Since it looks like you’d rather use those lips for pouting than drinking this delicious boba tea.”

“With 50% sugar only.” He adds as an afterthought.

Luhan chances a glance at the beverage on the younger boy’s hand. “I hate you Oh Sehun.”

It is one hot afternoon when something finally snaps inside Sehun.

After class, he makes it a point to go straight to the all-knowing oracle. Of course, not without arming himself with a bag full of organ-failure-making-food.

“What exactly,” Sehun starts as he munches on his cheese flavoured Ruffles, not so subtly waving it on Yixing’s face, “is your best friend’s problem these days?”

“I’ve no idea.” Yixing says absently, eyeing the junk food with heated eyes. He tries snatching the food from Sehun’s grip but Sehun already foresees something like this and is quick to dodge the food away.

“Yixing hyung,” Sehun says in monotone, arching a suggestive eyebrow at the older male. “I heard Doritos has now a barbeque flavour. I bought it as soon as I saw it available in the nearest Korean convenient store.”

The dimpled male’s eyes widen ever so slightly and Sehun smirks as his hyung emits a reaction he is aiming for.

“I could give it to you,” Sehun smiles his maknae-innocent smile and chews rather exaggeratedly. “If you’ll just cooperate.”

“How could you do this to me Sehunah,” Yixing, horrified, wails. Nonetheless, he decides to betray his best friend by snatching the chips from Sehun’s grip. Sehun gives a maniac grin because

He already won this battle.

“From what he told me, Jongin pecked a girl’s cheek in front of him,” Yixing explains, hazy eyes focused on the junkies in Sehun’s bag. Sehun raises an eyebrow.

“And apparently, this girl’s very pretty.”

Sehun frowns. “So?”

“So?” Yixing asks, confused.

“So what does that have to do with Luhan’s PMS?

“He’s obviously upset with the whole kissing thing!” Yixing shrieks in exasperation, rolling his eyes from his dongsaeng’s seem to be low intelligence (or is dumbness inborn?).

“Why is he upset? What’s the big deal?” Sehun presses, brows furrowed because he does not understand.

“Because when you kiss someone –ohmygod Sehun why are you only born with looks and not with brains?”

“I am born with both, thank you very much. And?” Sehun, affronted, straightens from his sit and attempts to tilt his head upward to get some dignity.

“I really don’t know anything else because that is the only thing Lu’s been upset about since –”

Sehun’s eyes widen; he cuts Yixing off. “Okay. You are not actually going to mention that I accidentally peed on his bed –”

Sehun clamps his hands over his mouth, showing an overdramatic widening of the eyes. Yixing looks at him funny then switches his gaze over the pack of potato fries, mind already gearing up with ways to snatch the damn food away.“You’re not going to mention to Lu that I am the one who told you about it, right?” Yixing asks.

Sehun frowns at him and raises an eyebrow. “Who else knows about his misery?”

“None except himself and me?”

Sehun hits his head on his palm because his hyung is just as dumb. He nods, a sour expression plastered on his face as he picks the pack of Doritos poking out on his bag. “Here’s your reward –”

Even before Sehun could finish his statement, Yixing is already lost in his own world, on a far, far, faraway land.

It is sometime around after Biology class that Lu Han comes home with a gnawing suspicious feeling that something is very wrong inside their dorm. His used clothes which he usually just throws on the hamper are neatly folded on the corner; all of his shoes are lined up in a shoe rack, forming a front line for a battalion of shoe fight; his books that are thrown carelessly on his bed are neatly tucked on his shared study table with Sehun; their blue-turned-black curtain is replaced by a clean, yellow one that made the room light up a little brighter. (that curtain had protected them from severe dust for a year already actually) He climbs his bed, and is not surprised that the foil packs of his Lays and Loackers are nowhere to be found too.

The door of the bathroom opens and Sehun comes out, white towel wrapped around low on his hips, hair dishevelled and dripping wet. Lu Han raises an eyebrow and gulps because body and muscles.

Sehun sees Lu Han’s bag thrown on the floor and he looks up, smiling when he sees the older male on his bunk. “Hi hyung!” he greets, voice and face a little too cheerful to Lu Han’s liking. Lu Han looks at the glory of his bare torso, taking into account that his dongsaeng has abs and his muscles are well-defined, the porcelain skin only adding to the reason why he gulps. Again.

Sehun raises an eyebrow, oblivious to his effects on Luhan’s well-being.

The older male just shrugs and tries to act nonchalant because he’s a hyung. “Get dressed. You’re going to catch a cold.”

Sehun immediately obliges. Lu Han hears the familiar pulls and pushes of his drawer. He resorts to hunt for a lizard in the ceiling to keep himself from glancing at the glory of his roommate.

Not long after, he feels his bed dip with an added weight of someone. He looks over and raises his eyebrows. “Off my bed!” he shrieks, making sure to emphasize the word ‘my’ when he sees the boy invading his personal space.

Sehun just smiles and hugs the pillow that he brought. “Nope.”

Lu Han freaks out and starts to shake Sehun’s figure like some disease he doesn’t want to get infected with. “No, no, no, get off!”

Sehun just ‘mmmm’s and remained oblivious to Lu Han’s attempt on shoving him off. Lu Han smacks his in the head. “I don’t share!”

Sehun remains nonchalant, instead making himself at home via snatching Luhan’s extra pillow and occupying almost ¾ of the space in Luhan’s bed.

Luhan mutters strings of Chinese curses before he shouts, “I swear Sehun I’m going to kick your of the bed and you’re going to tumble on the floor so hard!”

Just then, Sehun opens his eyes and flashes his most wounded puppy-look- hyung-you-can’t-do-this-to-me that makes anyone’s trip to hell a sure must or maybe a lethal injection would be nice to sentence their death for denying a cute; Lu Han just huffs.

“Buingbuing?”Sehun tries, blinking his eyes and using his ing charm nobody could resist.

“What is wrong with you Sehun?” Lu Han demands; climbing down the top bunk to switch the light off. He crawls on the bed and turns his back against Sehun, murmuring about something like ‘manipulative brat’ and ‘bed is too crowded for your lanky body’ and ‘don’t dare kick me I’ll kick your balls’ as he wraps the blanket around his body, facing the wall.

Sehun does not say anything. Neither does Lu Han. But Lu Han knows Sehun is still awake, he knows the rate of Sehun’s breathing when he sleeps and the soft purr he does like a cat’s; this is not the steady breathing he usually makes. Three beats of silence envelopes them, and then Sehun starts to shift on the bed to face Lu Han’s back. “Hyung?”

Lu Han does not answer. Sehun wraps an arm around Lu Han’s waist. “Hyung are you sad?”

Lu Han frowns even though Sehun won’t be able to see him. He still does not answer. Sehun just continues. “I don’t know why you’re sad but I’m gonnabuingbuing you until you barf rainbows and chocolates and ponies.”

Lu Han wants to scoff and retort about how Sehun is only using his buingbuing to his advantage, but then Sehun’s arms tightened on his waist and he presses his chin on Lu Han’s back that for some odd reason, Lu Han loosens up and sighs as he slightly press his back against Sehun’s strong chest.

Well, Lu Han thinks, this is okay.

It is one of the rare breaks that Lu Han and Sehun are able to sit in the cafeteria together. Lu Han is a music major together with Yixing; they share every classes except basic statistics, in which, for some odd twist fate of Lu Han, is the one and only class he shares with Kim Jongin.

Kim Jongin is your typical hot-university-guy-everybody-dreams-of–golden skin, dark tantalizing eyes and well defined muscles, while Lu Han is your typical boy-next-door –doe eyes, cute button-nose, and milky skin; together, they make a stunning pair that guys envy and girls lose their dignities with spontaneous confessions. Despite sharing only one class together, Jongin and Lu Han is inseparable like how Sehun and his boba tea needs to be together every day. This is why Sehun shouldn’t even be surprised that he finds himself sitting beside Jongin and opposite Lu Han during one of these breaks.

There is this palpable tension hovering in the air as he takes into account the slumped form of Jongin on the chair and Lu Han’s tight lips as he seem to look at everything but Jongin. Sehun pokes Lu Han’s meatballs without Lu Han giving one hell of fit about it. Sehun takes the meatballs between his chopsticks, waving the meat to Lu Han’s face as it enters his mouth. Lu Han gives no reaction; instead, whenever Jongin is not looking his way, he digs holes on the tanned male’s face with his glare and looks away when Jongin catches his gaze, acting nonchalant as if he just hasn’t been plotting his demise.

Sehun sighs and continues to look at them with his usual bored expression. The tension continues to engulf the three of them, until Sehun can’t take no more and he snaps, “Okay why don’t you two talk it out.”

Jongin catches his gaze and he shrugs. “He’s been like a victim for a while. Dunno why he’s acting like that.”

Lu Han scowls and gives the both of them an admonishing glare. “Don’t talk as if I’m not here!”

“What the hell’s your problem, Lu? You can’t expect everyone to be bothered with your PMS!” Jongin snaps, slamming his fist on the table as he turn to look at Luhan.

Luhan looks away and gulps. He stands up and slings his bag on his shoulder. “See ya later, Sehuna,” he mumbles without looking at the younger boy.

Jongin shrugs and gives Sehun a ‘see?’ look before grabbing his bag without as much as a shrug directed at Sehun.

The youngest male blinks as he stares at the two retreating backs wondering what in the world just happened.

“Hyung,” Sehun pokes Lu Han’s back.

Lu Han does not make any move.

“Hyunggggg,” Sehun pokes some more.

“Hyung talk to me dammitttt,” Sehun whines, whacking the elder’s head with his palm as he tries to balance himself in the ladder leading to Lu Han’s bed. The smack seems to get Lu Han’s attention. He whirls around and glares at the younger boy. “Can you not? I’m trying to get some eye-shut here,”

Sehun looks at him with wary eyes, pointing his index finger on Lu Han’s lip. “I see and smell Pockey.” He says in without emotion. Lu Han turns his back again. “I don’t wanna share.”

Sehun sighs and climbs up completely on the bed, pushing Lu Han’s body as he fits himself in the limited space on Lu Han’s bed. Lu Han kicks at everywhere he can. “Get the off I’m not in the mood!”

Sehun catches Lu Han’s legs and whacks his thigh. “Cut the crap,” he grumbles.

Lu Han sits up and hugs the boxes of Pockey in different flavours on his arms. He sits as far away as Sehun as possible, tucking his chin on his knees as he brings his thighs to his chest, encircling his arms around his legs. Sehun thinks Lu Han looks so small like this –so fragile and so broken. He just whistles.

Lu Han listens as Sehun hums and whistles without saying anything. He doesn’t notice that his body starts rocking back and forth, synchronizing to whatever tune Sehun is making. Sehun slowly moves beside Lu Han, folding his legs to his chest so he can fit beside him as well. Neither says a word –just basks in the silence that surrounds both of them.

Sehun studies Lu Han’s features from the side and feels as if this is the first time he’s looking at the older male’s face. He notices how deep and noticeable the scar on Lu Han’s lip is if you take a good look at it. He takes into account the open pores of Lu Han’s skin and how sharp and well defined Lu Han’s jaw really is, despite the delicate features of a child when he’s far away. Sehun knows his hyung is beautiful; they’ve been together since grade school, even with the four year gap between them. What Sehun doesn’t know is why he feels the need to be protective of Lu Han even though he’s sure he could get his together all by himself. Lu Han had his own set of boyfriends, all of them Sehun was able to meet, but it is the very first time that Lu Han had acted this way –all gloomy and snappy even though he’s sure his hyung had been single for the last two months. Sehun doesn’t like Lu Han acting this way. Lu Han is always happy and easy and fun to be with, all smiles and taunts and witty comebacks and he just wanted to get that hyung back. He still isn’t sure why he feels so concerned all of a sudden.

“You’re staring,” Lu Han says without even glancing at Sehun’s general direction. Sehun’s eyes are set on him intently dn he scoffs. “So you have eyes on the side of your face.”

Lu Han straightens up and unwraps a new box of Pockey on his lap. He munches on it without even looking at Sehun. “Not sharing,” Lu Han reminds, grip tight on the box of chocolate sticks.

Sehun laughs. “Not asking,” he retorts.

They remain like that –with Lu Han munching on his strawberry sticks and Sehun just looking at him. Eventually, the entire Pockey has been consumed and Lu Han pouts as he peeks on the empty carton box, hoping that a stick will magically appear inside it.

There is something with that pout that made Sehun snap. It’s like Luhan’s lips are magnet and Sehun is the poor metal caught up with it.

He leans over and plants a quick peck on Lu Han’s cheek. Lu Han squeaks in surprise, a startled gasp escaping his lips. He turns his head to look at Sehun with his mouth agape but Sehun just frowns and leans forward, this time, meeting his lips with Lu Han’s.

It wasn’t grand; it wasn’t perfect; it wasn’t like the movies where boy is kissing back; both of them feeling a jolt of electricity on their body as their lips fit each other perfectly like it was really meant to be. It was just a stupid brushing of lips that has Sehun wondering why in the world he hasn’t done this before. But before Sehun could answer that question on his head, Lu Han already has an answer ready for him. He pushes Sehun away, face flushed and mouth agape. Sehun opens his mouth to say something but finds that he doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to say, so he just resorts on snapping it shut.

“Get off,” Lu Han whispers.

"I –” Sehun starts. Should he say sorry? He’s not sorry.

“Get off my bed! Now.” Lu Han shouts, throwing a pillow towards Sehun’s direction. Sehun scrambles in the bed before he comes down, arms too heavy on his body and chest feeling as if it had been rolled over by a ten-wheeler truck.

He curls into a ball and wraps his blanket around himself, trying to clear his head of the haze of Lu Han’s lips pressed into his’. He asks himself why, what, how and why again because really, why would he ever do such a thing and not regret it even though he’s sure he’s never seen his hyung look so horrified before. Minutes after and he hears Lu Han climbing off the bed, grabbing his jacket on the hook near the cabinet, and leaving the room without much as a click of the door shut.

That night, Lu Han doesn’t come back in their room.

Sehun knows because he stayed up all night waiting for him to come home.

The days pass with Lu Han waking up early in the morning and slipping in the room late in the evening. Sehun pretends like he doesn’t notice. He pretends he doesn’t notice Lu Han frequenting in the library instead of meeting him in the cafeteria.

Sehun starts doing his personal routine too –he frequents in the dorm instead of hanging out on school premises where he knows Lu Han most likely stays at.

Most nights, Lu Han won’t even return to the dorm; he’ll just return in the morning to take a bath and grab some of the books he’ll need for the day.

One week has passed when Yixing confronts Sehun about it.

“Tell me why my snacks cabinet is everyday again.”

“Don’t ask me,” Sehun grumbles, rubbing his temple with the back of his hand. He opens his textbook to the topic of his quiz today and tries reading the terms there. The words are floating above the pages and he can only make sense of one thing: Luhan; even though he’s sure there is no Luhan word in the textbook.

“He doesn’t even come back to the dorm.” he mumbles.

“That’s the point!” Yixing bursts in exasperation. “Did you pee on his bed again?”

“Something worse,” Sehun answers; Yixing narrows his eyes at him.

“What could be worse than peeing on his bed?” Yixing asks, raising an eyebrow. Sehun shrugs and picks his book up. “I’ll just buy you snacks to repay what he had eaten.” Sehun says before he walking away, leaving Yixing in a blissful silence because snacks.

That afternoon, Sehun returns to the dorm, finding Lu Han hunched over the study table, head between his hands with his music sheet spread out before him. Lu Han looks up and stiffens at the sight of Sehun. Sehun drops his bag and takes his towel off the hanger. He enters the bathroom without saying a word to Lu Han.

Since the incident of Sehun kissing Lu Han, whenever Sehun returns home finding Lu Han around, he will take a long dragging shower until he hears the familiar click of the door before he goes out, body pink and tender from too much scrubbing and heat of the water. Today, he takes a quick shower instead; he’s tired to be the one who is always left behind.

When he emerges from the bathroom, Lu Han is bent over the cabinet, picking up his jeans and a tee shirt, probably what he’ll be wearing when he goes out. His music sheets are folded neatly on top of the table too, his backpack sitting beside it. Sehun picks up his jeans on the bed and slips it on his legs as quickly as he can. His tee shirt is halfway his body when he mumbles, “Don’t bother, hyung; you study here, I’ll go out.”

He notices that Lu Han has stopped rummaging through his cabinet and is staring at his back for a while now. Lu Han bites his lip and walks over where Sehun is. Sehun eyes him wearily. Lu Han touches his biceps through worry-laden eyes. “Sehun-ah…” he starts.

Sehun flinches. “What?” He dares a look at Lu Han’s eyes and finds something unreadable in his eyes… something like hurt.

“We haven’t gotten a chance to talk about it…” Lu Han speaks without completing what he means; expecting that Sehun already knows what he’s referring to. Sehun sighs and resorts to slipping into his shirt again. He picks up his wallet and phone on the bed and opens the door, saying, “I’m not the one who’s running away, hyung.”

When Sehun comes home 1:30 in the morning, the light’s still up and Lu Han is sitting on his desk, music sheet spread out, all pens down and gripping his phone tightly. Sehun throws his body on the bed, completely ignoring Lu Han’s searing gaze at him.

“I’ve been calling you.” Lu Han announces.

Sehun shrugs and kicks his shoes off. “Why?”

“Where have you been?” Lu Han continues to demand, ignoring the younger’s question and walking over the edge of his bed. He looms over Sehun’s figure as he stares down at the boy, assessing his figure. Sehun’s arm is draped over his eyes; he does not make any move.

Lu Han kicks his leg. “Why won’t you answer me?!”

In a split second, Sehun got up and grabs Lu Han by the arm, then he throws him on the bed and pins him there with his body. “What do you want?” he growls.

There’s a brief flash of fear on Lu Han’s eyes but when Sehun blinks, he meets Lu Han’s bright and curious eyes, furrowed brows, and his thin lips set into a determined line. He just stares at Sehun’s eyes.

“What do you want?” Sehun repeats again, voice now soft and pain evident in his eyes. He doesn’t know what is happening, just that when he blinks again, he starts sobbing, tears unceasingly flowing from his eyes like a loose thread faucet. The sob racks through Sehun’s body as the sound of his anguish bounces off the four corners of the room. He buries his head on the crook of Lu Han’s neck and Lu Han just holds him like that, running his fingers through Sehun’s hair while whispering, “Sehun-ah.”

That night, Sehun sleeps on Lu Han’s chest and Lu Han made no effort to move the boy or run away from him.

When Sehun wakes up the next day, Lu Han is sitting by the bed, two mugs of coffee at hand. He smiles at Sehun. “Good morning.”

Sehun feels like so he just nods without acknowledging Lu Han’s outstretched hand and goes straight to the bathroom. He takes a quick shower and exits the room without as much as a nod to Lu Han’s deflated form.

The tables are turned now. Lu Han frequents at the dorm and Sehun makes it a routine to wake up early in the morning and go back to the dorm when Lu Han is sure to have retreated the bed already.

Sehun ignores Lu Han’s questioning gaze whenever he comes home to Lu Han still up and seeming to wait for him beside the study table. Sehun just murmurs, ‘with Tao’ and crashes on the bed with his jeans and sneakers still on.

Sehun rarely sees Lu Han with Jongin too. He usually sees Lu Han sitting alone on the cafeteria, textbooks at hand and music sheets scattered everywhere.

Sehun finds it tiring –what Lu Han had been doing. So on the third week since the incident, Sehun throws his clothes on a box, packs of bag sitting on his empty bed. He ignores Lu Han’s gaze seeming to dig holes at the back of his head. When he is able to stuff every bit of his belonging into a trolley, Lu Han slams his fist on top of the bag and demands, “Where are you going?”

Sehun politely removes Lu Han’s hand on top of his bag and continues to zip it shut. “There’s a vacant bed on Taozi’s,” he says, as if that could explain everything. Lu Han throws the trolley from the bed, ignoring how all of Sehun’s belongings have scattered on the floor; he clutches on Sehun’s biceps tightly. “No, why are you leaving?”

Sehun heaves a sigh, shakes the hand away, and crouches over his bag to pick up his scattered clothes on the floor. He hears Lu Han sniffle. “Sehun –”

“This isn’t working anymore, hyung,” Sehun cuts him off without looking him in the eyes. “Yesterday you’re pushing me away then today you’re acting as if nothing happened, then tomorrow what? Are you going to push me away again?”

There’s a small beat of silence before Lu Han firmly answers, “No.”

Sehun looks up and sees Lu Han’s fist clutched on his side. “Don’t go, Sehun,” Lu Han whispers, eyes red with and b with tears.

“Why?” he asks.

“Don’t go…” Lu Han whispers again, a small drop of tear rolling down his cheek. Sehun wipes it away with his thumb and holds Lu Han by the shoulder. Lu Han looks up and bites on his lower lip, seeming to debate on something. Sehun opens his mouth to speak but then, Lu Han is tiptoeing and is pressing his lips against Sehun. Sehun is too dumbfounded to react, so he just resorts on doing what he had wanted to do for a long time now: He kisses Lu Han back.

Sehun finds Lu Han tastes just like what he thought he would taste like: a tinge of sweet and chocolaty skittles on his lips, though he’s sure the chocolate doesn’t have anything to do with how soft and sugary Lu Han’s lips are. What he doesn’t taste however, is the uncertainty he expected to be playing on Lu Han’s lips; he just tastes of determination and something even more … like longing and yearning and just Lu Han.

Luhan’s hands travel up to Sehun’s neck and he grips the back of his head just like that –pushing the younger boy towards him deeper.

They part away to catch their breaths and Sehun opens his mouth again to say something but Lu Han beats him too it, “Just…stay,” he breaths. “We’ll figure everything out as we go along.”

Sehun nods and wraps his arms around Lu Han’s waist. “Okay,” he answers.

He buries his head on the crook of Lu Han’s neck and nods again. “Okay.”

[A/N]: i lied. this was not edited. tweaked but not edited. i give up.