(you want a break from the world but the world wants to break you)

Do Kyungsoo’s final year in high school is actually going worse than he thought it’d be. He hadn’t thought it possible, but it actually, honest-to-godly, is. It’s not just the extra lessons he unwillingly signed up for after school in order to not lag behind, or the increased workload from having to study for class tests across every subject every other day, or even the three hours he is obligated to sleep each night in order to fall into the category of prospective ‘SKY’ university students. All this he expected of a high school senior’s life, and has spent the last 2 years before this making sure he doesn’t fare any worse than this level-mates as much as possible.

It’s just that, over the summer, he somehow got recruited into (arguably) one of Korea’s top entertainment companies, and is now training in hopes of making it as an idol one day. Just the thought of it happening is enough to make Kyungsoo shudder, to be honest. He isn’t really ready to be a star; he really just really likes to sing and if SM gives him a platform to do that, why not?

It may seem like a dream come true to many, getting scouted. Even a lot of other trainees think this way, and have traded completing their education for training full-time, and Kyungsoo doesn’t know whether to envy them whenever he comes across them the 4 times a week he goes down to SM to practise, or worry a little on their behalf about their future. It’s no secret the majority of trainees are but idol hopefuls, with many never actually seeing the light of debuting. This Kyungsoo understands very well, which is why no matter how much he pours his soul into singing, he also dedicates his efforts in studying, in being a good student, in having a back-up plan should anything go wrong.

Still, he can’t help but feel jealous of other trainees. It must be nice to have only one  job, to only come in every day in preparation for becoming an idol one day. (His backpack always seems that much heavier whenever he leaves the studio after training sessions.)

- -

Kyungsoo has never been close to anyone in school, and this year proves no different. He doesn’t see the need to be different this year either. He’s always been the kind of kid who keeps to himself; not that he’s anti-social, just that he prefers to rely on himself to get things done and sometimes, company can be more trouble than it’s worth.

And this year, especially, he can’t afford to associate with the wrong people. People will only try to get what they want through him (and he has nothing much to give but people will surely have their uses for an SM trainee, anyway).

So it is not just fear that jumps up to his throat when he is roughly pushed against the wall outside his school one evening by a bunch of his classmates - or at least, he thinks he remembers them as classmates - but anger, too. Frustration boils in his stomach. Why did he not keep to himself enough and somehow manage to get in someone else’s way?

“W-what do you want?” he tries not to stammer too badly, choosing to stare his tormenter in the eyes instead. He is rewarded with a smack to the head for his efforts.

“Is that the way you speak to your senior?” The boy holding him captive against the rough wall smirks.

“And don’t worry. All we want is some fun.”

- -

I kind of have the storyline planned out for now? ;_; please give me feedback cause i really have no feel to write this for now