It was half past midnight and the earliest Chaerin had been home in months. If it weren’t for her flight to Taipei early that morning, she would still be at the CF shoot for her new product endorsement. And if it weren’t for that morning flight, she would have demanded for real lemon vodka in those bottles instead of the water she pretended to sip with gusto. Heaven knows she really needed a drink. The month had been particularly grueling with back-to-back “All or Nothing” concerts in China and YG Family Tour shows in Japan.

She was so exhausted that despite the turbulent flight from Shanghai to Osaka, she passed out in the plane, responding only when a trembling Dara squeezed her arm tightly and gripped her hand when the cabin shook precariously every now and then.

“How can you sleep at a time like this, Chaerinah?” A tearful Dara chastised her dozing seatmate.

“Unnie, if we’re going to die, we’re going to die… but at least we will die together,” Chaerin mumbled teasingly with a half-smile.

Dara tugged at her seatmate’s shirtsleeve with mock annoyance. “Can you please stop saying that? I’ve heard those lines before and it doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“Liar…” the blonde girl whispered. “I know you like hearing that over and over again,” she sneered in jest, raising their entwined hands to her lips and kissing Dara’s pale knuckles. “Just hold on to me, unnie. I will never let you go.”

The alarm gave a sharp beep as she encoded the password and opened the front door to their dormitory. It startled her a bit in her sleepy state and made her worry that she might have woken the other girls up. They were all tired from days upon grueling days of performances and other public appearances. But it was all good… it made them feel that they were truly back in the game. That they were truly alive!

Alive was not exactly how she was feeling at the moment, though. She fumbled for her room keys but could not seem to find them in the deep jungle that was her bag. With a muffled grunt, she shuffled her way to the living room and plopped into the familiar comfort of their black leather sofa.

“Ah… this feels good,” she thought to herself. She kicked off her stilettos, pulled up her feet and allowed her tired body to relax. “Lemme just rest here for a while… I’ll get up in a few minutes… I just wanna stretch… and…” Within a few minutes, the trail of her self-talk came to an abrupt halt as she drifted off to slumber, still in her makeup and stage clothes.

Sandara tiptoed into the living room clad in her pajamas, her face covered with the usual aloe vera mask. Hydrating her skin has become a nocturnal habit that helped her look fresh and young. It is also a habit that has startled the other members many times when she went around the dorm at odd hours of the night, looking like a ghost while scrounging for a midnight snack or checking in on the other girls. She heard the alarm go off and was almost certain it was Chaerin since Bom and Minzy have long entered their room to catch up on their zzzzssss…

She immediately spotted their leader stretched out in the living room, her blonde hair sprawled out like a fan with an arm and a leg dangling from the edge of the couch. was slightly open and she was snoring lightly, indicating how worn-out she was. She walked quietly to the sleeping girl’s side and gently touched her cheek.

“Rin? Rinnie…”

At the sound of her voice, the younger girl opened her eyes slowly, still weighed down by drowsiness and the thick false eyelashes that were starting to peel off.

“Unnie… Did I wake you up?” she asked thoughtfully.

“No, I was still awake doing some last minute packing for tomorrow… And I was waiting for you too,” the dark haired girl replied, smiling through her mask. “I’m glad they let you off earlier this time… You’ve been working too many late nights, Rin. I’m worried about your health.”

Chaerin reached out to run her fingers through Dara’s hair. “I know, unnie… But opportunities like this don’t always come by and we have to make the most out of what’s there, right? Thanks for waiting up, though… I miss you… And I wanna see your pretty face right now!” she said, playfully pealing off the other girl’s moisturizing mask to reveal her pink, porcelain-smooth cheeks.

“Aww!!!” Dara yelped. “I’m not even done yet! You will make me wrinkly before my time, Chaerinah!” she said, swatting her girlfriend’s hand.

“And I will love every wrinkle on that beautiful face, Sandara-sshi… If it’s even possible for that to happen.”

Dara giggled and bent over to peck the blonde girl on the nose. “You really know how to charm the ladies, Chaerin oppa…” trailed down to and she kissed the other girl’s rosebud lips. “You deserve a little treat,” she whispered into them. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

A few minutes later, Dara returned with a small basin of warm water, a hand towel and her cosmetic bag. Positioning herself once more by the edge of the sofa, she dipped the towel into the basin and started patting Chaerin’s arms and neck with it. The young leader heaved a sigh at the comforting sensation.

“That really feels good, unnie… But you don’t have to…”

“Shh… Just enjoy the moment and let me treat you like my Queen Bee…”

“Hahaha… But I don’t feel like a queen when you do that… I feel like a baby!”

“But you are my baby. You’re my Baby Rin!”

Chaerin beamed despite her exhaustion and resumed her supine position, allowing her girlfriend to soothe her tired skin with gentle dabs of warm water and affection.

“That feels really, really good unnie…” she sighed contentedly, as Dara began moving her slender fingers in slow, circular kneading motions over her girlfriend’s forehead and scalp in a soothing head massage. “So very good…” she heaved in appreciation before trailing off to sleep, this time with a satisfied grin on her face.

Sensing that she had drifted off once again, Sandara inched her way closer to the sleeping girl, pulled by some magnetic force into staring unblinkingly at her peaceful face.

“How can someone so strong be so fragile?” she thought to herself. She had asked that question of herself countless times, especially on those quiet moments at dawn when she would wake up simply to gaze at the luminous beauty of a sleeping Lee Chaerin beside her. It was in those tranquil moments, when no one else was watching, when they were not idols but just two people in love, devoid of makeup that concealed their faces and designer clothes that defined their stage personalities for the world to see.

In the quiet, half-lit stillness of their shared room, “CL” and “Dara” waited outside the door. Inside there was only Sandy and her Baby Rin.

“When I look into your eyes, you set me free…
Just look into my eyes, I’ll let you see everything.
We don’t need anything in our secret world; nobody’s invited.
It’s just you and me – always.”

The lines from Chaerin’s composition lingered silently in her head… “Baby I miss you…” she hummed wordlessly. “I do miss you, Chaerin… I miss you every single minute you’re not around. And I want to see your pretty face right now too…”

Slowly, gently, she the sleeping girl’s soft, silky skin with a cotton pad moistened with organic makeup remover. She repeated the movement several times across Chaerin’s face, revealing the shiny complexion beneath it.

Dara ran her bare fingers adoringly over her girlfriend’s pink cheeks. “You’re really just a baby…” she thought wistfully. “If only those haters knew how sensitive and delicate you are inside, they would think twice before saying all those mean and hurtful things about you. Every time I read about those cruel comments, I bleed inside. Each cutting word, each unkind and inappropriate expression makes me want to rant and fight back on your behalf. But you don’t want me to. You’ve always been so calm and level-headed, my kid leader, even when you’re wounded. I know you cry about these things at night. , you’re only 23! Do people even realize that? And your heart is not made of stone…”

The older girl felt her eyes water as she continued expunging the remnants of cosmetic from her lover’s face. Cautiously, she peeled of the false lashes now dangling careless from her closed eyelids. Running the moistened pad lightly to take out the mascara and painted shadow, she marveled at how lovely Chaerin’s eyes actually were. She loved looking deeply into those dark pools that were always welcoming and sparkling with joy. When they disappeared into those delightful slits that were her eye smile, Dara’s heart would melt each and every time. No one can get too used to her Baby Rin’s eye smile; its charm will never be commonplace.

“I’ll be your star, your two eyes that contain me shine brightly…” the song continued playing in her mind.

Gingerly, she began taking off Chaerin’s jewelry and laid them neatly on the coffee table. Sensing that it would be better to just let her doze off where she was, she went into the bedroom and came back with a small blanket and her baby’s favorite Rilakkuma plushie. Dara tucked her girlfriend in, worrying slightly when the she shifted and seemed to have been roused. But the blonde girl merely heaved and fell deeper into slumber, clutching her stuffed toy closely to her chest.

“When I see you like this, Chaerin, I realize how lucky I am to be the one have you beside me,” she whispered almost inaudibly to the sleeping girl. “To be the one – the only one – to cherish you like this. Because this is who you really are. So vulnerable, so kind, so innocent. You don’t have to be strong for everyone all the time. Stay this way… Never lose your laughter and your childlike faith in the world. And when the world hurts you, I will be there to protect you in any way I can… I promise.”

With one last, lingering look, she leaned over to land a soft peck over her those rosebud lips, then stood up and walked back into the bedroom, turning off the lights as she went by.

********