Part One

 

Minho meets Jonghyun when he’s 10 and the other’s 11.

 

His family had just moved from Incheon to Seoul and his parents were introducing themselves to the neighbours, trying to make a good impression.  

 

Minho’s still undergoing his shy and awkward stage so he feels a little out of place standing in Jonghyun’s room as the latter’s mother leaves them alone with a smile stating she hopes they become fast friends.

 

“Hey, I’m Jonghyun,” the boy says with a confidence that Minho sorta envies.  Jonghyun’s shorter than he is, by about an inch. He has medium length black hair, dark brown eyes and an oval shaped face. Minho finds Jonghyun’s features nice and soft, cute even, and he concludes that Jonghyun’s what he assumes one would find attractive before he stutters over telling the other his own name.

 

“How old are you Minho-ah?” Minho fumbles with the zipper of his jacket, still feeling awkward standing near the door of Jonghyun’s (now that he looks around) messy room, but answers anyway, “I’m ten.”

 

Jonghyun grins. “I’m eleven that means you have to call me hyung.”

 

Minho blinks as Jonghyun steps closer. “Dude you’ve got some really big eyes, anyone ever tell you, you look kinda like a frog?”

 

Minho, taken aback and slightly offended by the statement averts his eyes until they settle upon a green stuffed dinosaur in the corner of the older boy’s room. “Yeah well anyone ever tell you, you look like a dinosaur?”

 

Minho half expects the boy to frown and demand that he get out of his room. But instead Jonghyun grins and asks him if he wants to play video games.

 

Minho thinks this friendship will work after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two months later Jonghyun and Minho are inseparable.

 

His parents are happy because their shy son finally has a friend and his older brother is happy because Minho can stop following him around. And well Minho’s happy because being around Jonghyun makes him happy and he’s always around the other.

 

They practically live over at one another’s houses, playing video games and telling dumb jokes.

 

Sometimes Jonghyun will sleep over at Minho’s and they’ll stay up all night watching scary movies even though Minho’s mother has told them to go to sleep long ago.

 

Or sometimes Minho will stay over at Jjong’s -

 

(“did you just call me Jjong?”   “yeah…um because Jonghyun is so long of a name…”  “No it’s okay, it’s cute I like it!”)

 

-and they’ll snicker as they eavesdrop on Jonghyun’s sister’s phone conversations with her boyfriend.

 

Minho knows Jonghyun’s room almost as well as he knows his own. It’s always cluttered, with skinny jeans and cheap snapbacks thrown about.

 

“You should really clean your room more often hyung,” Minho says to Jonghyun one day. But Jonghyun just shrugged it off and replied, “If my room is clean I won’t be able to find anything.” That statement didn’t make much sense to Minho, but he didn’t question it because that was just Jonghyun’s way of being Jonghyun.

 

Jonghyun knows Minho’s room just the same. It’s always spick and span and Minho gets really ‘butthurt’ if you move something without putting it back into its proper place.

 

 Jonghyun had entered Minho’s closet once, but quickly clucked his tongue and shook his head at Minho, telling the younger that it was filled with nothing worth looking at.

 

They know each other’s deepest secrets.

 

Jonghyun knows that he’s Minho’s first friend, that the boy was practically a loner back in Incheon. That a sweet and kind boy like Minho was subject to constant teasing and harassment because he didn’t look like everyone else.

 

Minho knows that Jonghyun loves his dad, but sorta hates him because the man puts his work before everything else and Jonghyun doesn’t know the man the way a son should know his father.

 

Nevertheless, their friendship is kind of perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first time Minho hears Jonghyun sing happens entirely on accident.

 

He doesn’t tell Jonghyun he’s coming over, nor does he knock on the door.  He just stumbles in the elder’s room unannounced, only to find him sitting at his desk, tapping his foot rhythmically as he belches out the lyrics to a Michael Jackson song.

 

Minho’s breath gets caught in his throat and his heart beats violently in his chest, because how can anyone have a voice so beautiful? 

 

“Minho what the hell?!” Jonghyun says shocked and possibly embarrassed once he realizes Minho is there.

 

Minho barely registered that Jonghyun had finished singing because he was so mesmerized by the other’s voice.  “Sorry I forgot to knock hyung, it’s just, your-your voice is so beautiful.”

 

A light red colour spreads across Jonghyun’s cheeks. “Uhh...you really think so?”

 

“Yeah.” Minho closes the bedroom door and crosses over to Jonghyun, grinning. “Please tell me you want to become a singer hyung.”

 

“Ohh I don’t know. I think I like composing a lot more. “You wanna hear something?”

 

Minho nods.

 

Jonghyun grabs his guitar from under his bed and begins strumming chords in an order Minho’s never heard before.

 

Minho thinks that everything Jonghyun does is kinda beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What do you wanna do when you grow up?” Jonghyun asks Minho as he bounce-passes the basketball to him.

 

Minho shrugs. “I wanna play soccer but I don’t know,” he trails off, before shooting the ball and missing entirely.

 

“I think you should. You’d be pretty good at it!”

 

Minho’s face brightens. “You really think so?” He asks a little too excitedly.

 

“Of course, if only you’d seen our soccer team before you came around. They were awful. But you make them somewhat decent. What with your frog-like ability to jump and run actually make contact with the ball.” Jonghyun laughs like he’d just told the best joke in the world.

 

Usually, Minho would have a smart reply to Jonghyun comparing him to a frog but he’s too busy blushing over the compliment Jonghyun just paid him.

 

He grabs the basketball again and shoots successfully this time around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s still summer and Minho’s sad. He’s sad because school opens up next week and Jonghyun won’t be there.

 

The boy was leaving elementary school and starting middle school meaning there would be no more shared lunchtimes, no more getting yelled at for chasing each other in the halls. Jonghyun would be leaving him behind.

 

Minho sighs quietly as he watches Jonghyun look over his new school uniform. He hasn’t voiced his opinion on the situation but it doesn’t really matter because Jonghyun knows him that well.

 

“Yah, no need to be sad Minho-ah. We live right next door to each other. We’ll still hang out and see each other all the time I promise.”

 

Minho pouts. “I’m not sad,” he says while he turns away from the elder’s gaze. “I’ll just… miss you a bit that’s all,” he huffs out.

 

Jonghyun turns Minho’s face towards himself and pinches the younger’s cheek. “Aigoo you’re so cute.  I’ll miss you too Frogho.”

 

Minho reddens and swats the other’s hand away, although he secretly liked the other’s contact. “Yeah whatever, Dinoboy.”

 

 

 

Jonghyun keeps his promise and Minho is sincerely grateful.  Although they don’t see each other as much as he would like, (since Jonghyun’s busy with this new load of schoolwork and he’s joined the music club and all of that), they still hang out on the weekends, eating junk food and catching up on one another’s life.

 

 The school year goes by quickly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m so mad,” Jonghyun pouts and it’s so cute that Minho can’t even really take the other seriously.

 

“Why hyung?”

 

“You’re so much taller than me now, I don’t like it.”

 

Minho grins as he looks down at Jonghyun, happy that they’re wearing matching uniforms once again.

 

“I am taller aren’t I? Are you sure you’re still the hyung in this relationship.”

 

Jonghyun hits Minho playfully across the chest. “Yah! Whatever Choi.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minho isn’t quite sure what’s going on between him and Jonghyun anymore. Ever since he turned fourteen, and his voice started deepening and he grew taller and started growing hair in odd places, things are different. Perhaps things have been different before this, but he never paid attention to it until now.

 

He’s always been observant around the elder, but now he finds himself noticing the little things.

 

 Like how smooth and deep the little indent above Jonghyun’s top lip is.

 

Or how Jonghyun talks extremely fast when he’s unsure or flustered.

 

Or how Jonghyun’s lips thin out when he smiles.

 

Or how the boy resembles a lost puppy when he’s sad.

 

He notices so much about Jonghyun and he loves all of it but it pisses him off because what the hell is it all supposed to mean?

 

What does it mean when Jonghyun smiles at him and he feels his heart skip a beat?

 

What does it mean when he hugs Jonghyun and wishes his hands can stay wrapped around the other forever?

 

What does it mean when some girl flirts with Jonghyun, only for the brunet to flirt back leaving Minho sulking for the rest of the day?

 

 

 

 

“Mom, what does it mean when someone smiles at me and I get this like weird feeling in the pit of my stomach? Not a painful feeling, but a nice fluttery feeling that I just want to stay,” Minho huffs out.  He’s sitting on the washer machine thinking about Jonghyun when he really should be helping his mother fold clothes.

 

Minho’s mother stops and looks at her son, thin eyebrow raised. “Choi Minho, are you telling me you have a crush?”

 

Minho pouts.

 

A crush on Jonghyun?  The short dark haired boy who to no end?

 

 

 

Minho’s still fourteen – well fourteen and a half when he has his first wet dream, and he isn’t all that surprised that Jonghyun hyung’s flat stomach and full lips were the reason behind it.

 

Minho thinks distancing himself from Jonghyun is the best thing.

 

So he does just that.

 

 Opting for reading dumb teen magazines focused on love and hormones and watching equally dumb teen movies where best friends are in love with each other, then one gets in some relationship along the way, but somehow they still end up together in the end.

 

‘Cliché as hell’, he thinks.

 

‘Cliché and frickin dumb.’

 

Minho shoots up as he hears the doorbell ring. His family doesn’t usually have visitors; well he doesn’t usually have visitors. His parents and brother aren’t home and the only visitor he does have is Jonghyun who never bothers ringing doorbells anymore.

 

However lo and behold, standing on his doorstep is indeed Jonghyun, sporting a black snapback and a fresh pair of earrings.

 

‘Another set of piercings hyung?’ He wants to ask but Jonghyun looks like he has something serious on his mind.

 

 “Minho-ah why are you avoiding me?”

 

Minho frowns, because he’s stupid.

 

Stupid for thinking Jonghyun wouldn’t catch on to what he’s been doing for the past two weeks, which is in fact avoiding the elder.

 

 “I’m not ignoring you hyung.”

 

“Then can I come in?”

 

“Sure.”

 

 

They end up seated on the floor in Minho’s room, eating leftover pizza. Minho realizes he’s missed this, he’s missed this a lot. But then Jonghyun starts talking about his life and what Minho has missed and he mentions something that has a knot rising in Minho’s throat and the usual fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach is instead overpowered by a nasty one.

 

“I have a girlfriend.” Jonghyun says and he blushes. He ing blushes and it tears Minho apart.

 

She’s some girl in Jonghyun’s class with long hair and a bright smile and apparently Jonghyun’s quite enamored with her.

 

Minho doesn’t respond, afraid his voice will come out wobbly and he really doesn’t want to give his feelings away.

 

Jonghyun says he wants Minho to meet her as soon as possible because how could he have been dating this girl for two weeks already and she’s never met his best friend?

 

Minho nods and gives a smile. A mirthless smile that doesn’t reach his eyes at all.

 

 

 

Minho meets Jonghyun’s girlfriend two days later, and she’s just as Jonghyun had described.

 

She has long hair and a nice smile and Minho thinks the reason Jonghyun likes her most is because she’s shorter than he is. The girl is pretty and nice and Minho hates that he hates her but he can’t help but hate her when Jonghyun smiles at everything she says and holds her hand and even kisses her.

 

It infuriates him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They’re not anywhere close to dating, but yet Minho is practically Jonghyun’s .

 

Jonghyun’s sick. And Jonghyun being sick probably means he’s needy and whiny and his family is probably tired of him already. So Minho makes it his mission to relieve Jonghyun’s mother of her stress and take care of the older boy himself.

 

“What’s in the bag?” Jonghyun asks before breaking into a fit of coughing.

 

Minho makes a face. The flu was always running rampant in the winter. And Jonghyun had it especially bad. If he wasn’t coughing, he was sneezing and he kept complaining about his stomach pains and headaches. It nearly pained Minho to see him like this, and to hear that beautiful voice reduced to a croaky mess. So Minho was helping out in whichever small way he could, by cooking for the elder.

 

Jonghyun sniffles and Minho answers his question. “It’s soup.”

 

 

Minho’s heart swells in his chest as Jonghyun hums in appreciation around the spoon that Minho feeds him himself.

 

“You know Minho, you’re a really good friend.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A week before Minho’s fifteenth birthday, Jonghyun’s father dies.  Kidney failure apparently.  It’s so sudden, so unexpected and it hits Jonghyun the hardest. So Minho’s there for him every step of the way.

 

He accompanies Jonghyun to the funeral, where the elder’s supposed girlfriend is nowhere to be found. They’re both dressed down in black and it’s raining but Jonghyun doesn’t shed a tear throughout the service. His eyes don’t even water as his father’s body is being lowered into the muddy ground.

 

It isn’t until later that night when friends and family have finished giving their condolences and have left the Kim household that Jonghyun breaks down. Minho holds Jonghyun close and his heart wants to break because now he’s so sure he’s in love with the crying boy lying on his chest and he just wants Jonghyun’s pain to go away.

 

“We …never...got to have the relationship a father should have with his son,” the sentence comes out choppy and choked as Jonghyun speaks through his sobs. “I barely even knew him…and yet-I-I miss him so much.”

 

Minho runs a soothing hand across Jonghyun’s back and feels his own set of tears brim in his eyes. Jonghyun tries to pull away and quiet his sobbing but Minho just pulls him back and comforts him. “Just let it all out hyung, just let it out,” he says, voice just above a whisper.

 

 

 

They wake up the next morning with Jonghyun curled up against Minho’s chest. The younger’s hands wound tightly around the other.

 

“Thank you for staying with me last night,” Jonghyun whispers.

 

Minho is hesitant to release Jonghyun, enjoying the feel of the other’s body nestled tightly against his. But still, he forces himself to let go of him. “You know I’m always here for you.”

 

Jonghyun gives him a small smile and scrambles out of his bed.

 

Minho takes in the sight of Jonghyun’s messy hair and red eyes and puffy lips and…

 

…he’s never thought the other’s looked more beautiful.

 

 

 

Jonghyun and his girlfriend break up a few days later. Jonghyun needs time to sort his life out and they were growing distant anyways.

 

Minho’s kinda hates himself for feeling happy but then Jonghyun says; “I’m all yours again now huh?”

 

And Minho just smiles because that’s the way it should be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although Jonghyun still teases him about being awkward in everything he does, Minho thinks he’s grown out of that since he started high school.

 

He’s gotten even taller, his voice has gotten deeper, he’s grown into his looks a bit, he’s a straight A student and the captain of the soccer team.

 

He’s even gotten asked out a few times, by guys and girls alike, but he’s turned them all down because his heart belongs to Jonghyun and also because he refuses to become your stereotypical jock.

 

With high school comes change in Jonghyun as well. The elder pays even more attention to Minho, giving him compliments instead of playful insults and attacking Minho with his skinship.

 

If only he knew the effect he has on me, Minho thinks whenever Jonghyun leans on his shoulder or touches his chest or holds his hand.

 

 

 

“I just don’t understand you Minnie.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“The hottest girl in school asked you out on a date and you said no…”

 

Minho drops the dumbbell he’d been lifting with his left hand and turns to face Jonghyun with eyebrows raised. “I don’t recall telling you that…How’d you know?”

 

“I have my sources,” Jonghyun says as he gets off of the floor, having finished his fifty pushups. Jonghyun lifts his sweat drenched wife beater over his head and Minho stifles a groan.

 

In his seventeen years he hasn’t found many men particularly attractive but God oh God Jonghyun makes him fall apart.

 

“Why’d you turn her down?”

 

Minho removes his eyes from Jonghyun’s toned chest and shrugs. “Because I just don’t like her.”

 

“You could have given her a chance.”

 

“You’re prying. Jonghyun plus prying equals bad combination,” Minho sing-songs.

 

Jonghyun chuckles. “Because I know there’s a reason.”

 

“ Someone else maybe?” He adds and it comes out sounding like an afterthought.

 

Minho stands and takes a deep breath. He has a clear view of Jonghyun’s glistening chest now and boners and sweatpants just don’t mix. “Let’s just say I have my reasons hyung.”

 

It seems as if Jonghyun falters at his words, but Minho isn’t sure he’s reading him correctly.

 

“Yeah sure, sounds like you wanna remain a for the rest of your life Choi.”

 

Far from it hyung, Minho thinks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“My mom wants me to go to Japan when I finish school.”

 

Minho gasps as Jonghyun holds his arms above his head, effectively pinning him down against his own bed. The gasp is more so elicited because of the words that leave Jonghyun’s mouth rather than Jonghyun’s weight on top of him. Why was Jonghyun on top of him again? Oh yeah, the elder wanted to “wrestle”. Minho doesn’t know why. He isn’t really wrestling with the other, more so letting Jonghyun push him around, but then again he’s not complaining. Jonghyun’s weight on top of him feels nice, like something he could really get used to. He could probably reach down and the other’s if he wanted to and he really really wants to but that isn’t acceptable behavior between two ‘heteroual’ friends so Minho simply allows Jonghyun to continue holding his arms above his head.

 

Minho furrows his brows, “Why would she want you to do that?”

 

“Because the chances of me getting into a good music school here are unlikely,” Jonghyun pouts.

 

Minho knows Jonghyun could have gotten a scholarship to one of the best music schools in Korea easily with his talent alone. But those schools required better than average grades in other subjects as well and Jonghyun wasn’t really focused on anything that didn’t have to do with music.

 

“It’s cheaper in Japan, and there are some family friends over there that I can live with.”

 

Minho’s stomach falls a bit, because he wants the best for Jonghyun and his future career, but the thought of the other being so far away doesn’t settle so well with him. “Are you gonna go?”
 Jonghyun’s graduating in a couple of months, he needed to get things like this sorted out.

 

Jonghyun releases Minho’s arms and leans in closer to him.  “And leave you here to function without me? Not a chance,” he smirks.

 

“I’m serious Jjong.”

 

Minho’s bedroom door opens abruptly, the unsuspected sound of it causing Jonghyun to topple over and land on the right side of Minho’s bed.

 

“Uhhh Heyyy Minseok-hyung,” Jonghyun waves to Minho’s older brother, who looks at the two strangely.

 

“Uh….Hey….Dinner’s ready….”

 

 

 

“What’s been going on between you and Jonghyun lately?” Minseok asks during a game of GTA with Minho in the living room.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean the sudden burst of affection for one another, he’s always touching you and you’re blushing like a girl whenever he’s around.”

 

Minho swallows at his brother’s bluntness.  “I-“

 

“And Sodam noona says he talks about you all the time and how handsome you are…You guys weren’t like this at all when you were little kids.”

 

Minho pinches the bridge of his nose, the game completely forgotten.

 

“Look Min, I know Jonghyun’s your best friend and all and you guys like each other a lot but I just don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about you two. Okay?”

 

But Minseok was too late because everyone already got the wrong idea.

 

People have ceased asking him out, because most of his schoolmates legitimately believe him and Jonghyun are dating. 

 

And for those who know Minho is single, like his soccer teammates, whenever Jonghyun’s approaching they get a kick out of telling Minho that his “swaggier half” is looking for him.

 

But the misconceptions don’t really bother Minho and if it bothers Jonghyun, the other surely doesn’t show it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Jonghyun graduates high school he gets a job at a clothing store in the mall.  The Japan idea is still present in his mind to Minho’s knowledge. But Jonghyun says he’s gonna stay in Korea and see if any opportunities present themselves before he makes a bold decision like moving away.

 

Minho thinks Jonghyun’s job is pretty ty. People are really rude and they always expect the workers to put up with their bull. But Jonghyun’s well liked and does his job well, and he’s getting paid 5 bucks an hour so he never complains.

 

Minho visits Jonghyun on the job so often that Jonghyun’s boss ends up offering Minho a job because, “you’re always here but you never spend any money.” That makes Minho feel a little embarrassed much to Jonghyun’s amusement, so he visits Jonghyun after hours instead. The mall is a cool place to hang out. The food court has really good food, and they catch movies often.  Jonghyun still visits Minho at school though, sometimes he’ll drop him off and he makes it his mission to attend as many of Minho’s soccer games as possible. Minho’s happy that although Jonghyun’s finally free from the teachers, students all other annoying things associated with high school, he still tolerates it to be close to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s December. Minho’s turning 17 tomorrow and his brother is throwing him a party that he was unsuccessful keeping as a surprise. Jonghyun’s been acting, well, strange lately. He barely comes over to visit anymore and whenever Minho texts him he gives one word answers unlike the hundreds of emojis Minho’s used to.  It reminds Minho of that time when he was thirteen, or was it fourteen – and he started avoiding Jonghyun because he realized he was beginning to have feelings for him.

 

Minho decides to confront Jonghyun at his birthday party, if the other attends that is. He does get a ‘Happy Birthday Frogho ♥’ text from Jonghyun that morning, but things still don’t feel the same.

 

Minho doesn’t actually think that Jonghyun will miss his birthday party, and he isn’t let down when he spots the other in the corner of his front room, wearing a jacket two sizes too big (perhaps it’s Minho’s) and drinking something out of a red plastic cup.

 

The party’s really getting started, all of the ‘Happy Birthday’s!’ and good luck punches were already given and people were becoming immersed in themselves. Minho’s sure he can sneak away now without anyone wondering where the birthday boy went.

 

Jonghyun’s face brightens upon seeing Minho and Minho can’t help but smile despite himself. The fact that Jonghyun hasn’t been talking to him has had him in a glum mood all week, but those thoughts are momentarily forgotten when he sees that heart squeezing smile.

 

Minho motions for Jonghyun to follow him outside. An uncomfortable silence accompanies the two until they reach the front steps of Minho’s house.

 

“Happy Birthday Minho,” Jonghyun says with another smile that sends Minho’s insides on a journey.

 

Minho inwardly chastises himself, he invited Jonghyun out here to have a serious talk not get all ‘heart-eyed’ and ‘chin-hands’ over the other – even though Jonghyun’s black hair is scrappy and it makes him look y and the oversized jacket makes him look cute at the same time and god damn it!

 

“Why are you ignoring me hyung?”

 

The question hangs between the two as they stare at each other, waiting. Jonghyun opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but no sound comes out.

 

 Minho is strangely hurt. Jonghyun’s been neglecting him for about two weeks now and he can’t even say why?

 

And then a pair of soft, plump lips are pressed against Minho’s. Minho’s already large eyes widen as his brain finally communicates to his lips that Jonghyun is kissing him – or maybe his lips communicate to his brain that Jonghyun’s kissing him – Minho isn’t too sure. But none of this mattered, because Jonghyun, his best friend who he’s been in love with for years is kissing him. Minho feels a burn spread from his lips throughout the rest of his body and he’s so sure that right here, with his tongue tracing Jonghyun’s bottom lip, is where he wants to spend the rest of his life.

 

When they finally pull away from each other, Minho isn’t quite sure what to make of the look on Jonghyun’s face. It’s a look of sadness and regret, but amongst it all his eyes look content.  

 

“Enjoy the rest of your birthday Minho,” Jonghyun says and then he leaves Minho, who’s desperately trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart.

 

 

 

Minho spends the next two days touching his lips, remembering the burn beneath them and wondering what this kiss means for him and Jonghyun now. The other doesn’t try to contact him and the fact causes anxiety to rise up in Minho.

 

Did Jonghyun like him or not?

 

Or maybe he knew Minho liked him all this time and just wanted to give Minho something worthwhile for his birthday.

 

Or maybe Minho mistook that look of regret across Jonghyun’s face for a look of disgust.

 

 

 

 

Minho decides to visit Jonghyun at his job. It’s a little out of the ordinary for Jonghyun’s boss to stop Minho and strike up a conversation with him, but when Minho spots Jonghyun in his peripheral version, he guesses he can understand why.

 

Jonghyun’s assumedly on break, pressing those same pink lips that touched Minho’s two nights ago, up against some girl’s.  Minho swears his heart shatters and he feels a knot rise in his throat that he tries desperately to swallow – to no avail. He wants to cry or scream, because it’s finally settling with him that Jonghyun will never be his. That all the skinship was just Jonghyun’s way of being friendly and some pretty girl with nice s and long hair is always gonna get the one thing that Minho wants. Jonghyun’s love. Not platonic love.  Actual passionate, sensual, emotionally driven love.  That kiss on his birthday was just some joke and Minho can feel tears gather in his eyes because his love story was not getting its happy ending.

 

Jonghyun’s boss mumbles something that sounds like ‘I’m sorry son’ and it makes Minho realize how obvious it was that he liked Jonghyun. But yet here Jonghyun is playing with his feelings. Minho’s aware that Jonghyun’s not the brightest but he must have had some inkling about the way Minho feels for him, right?

 

Jonghyun’s eyes meet his across the way and that’s all it takes for Minho to leave the shop and then the mall. His car doesn’t stop until he’s home and his legs don’t miss a beat until he collapses on his bed, happy to allow the tears to flow freely.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Minho, can you please just talk to me…”

 

Minho sighs as he hears the disembodied voice. He doesn’t want to talk to Jonghyun. After he practically ran out of the boy’s workplace yesterday he’s about sure that much is clear.

 

“Minho please.”

 

“What!? What do you want me to say?” Minho’s voice sounds as if he’s going to cry.

 

Jonghyun’s always been a rambler, but that doesn’t mean Minho’s prepared for the words about to leave the elder’s mouth.

 

“Look I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you Minho, but I didn’t know what to do! All of a sudden I started getting this overload of feelings for you and I just didn’t know how to handle it. You’re my best friend and I couldn’t risk screwing up our friendship.  So I tried to distance myself from you. But then I saw you on your birthday and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you. And then you didn’t text or call the next day, I thought you hated me so I started talking to this girl who said she liked me because I was just trying to stop thinking about you. But then yesterday the way you ran out of the shop and the look on your face,” Jonghyun takes in a breath and Minho tenses. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize that all this time you had feelings for me and I screwed up big time. I hurt you Minho and I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry.”  

 

Minho turns to face Jonghyun now, a fresh set of tears b in his eyes.

 

Jonghyun has this grave looks on his face and Minho’s wondering what on earth could possibly make him feel worse than he has the past day.

 

“I guess all this doesn’t matter anyways, because I’m moving to Japan next week.”

 

Whatever is left of Minho’s heart shrivels up into nothingness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minho doesn’t talk to Jonghyun until he leaves for Japan. Well scratch that, Minho doesn’t talk to Jonghyun at all. He hasn’t heard that pleasant voice since the day Jonghyun confessed all his feelings to him. Minho isn’t fully content with his decision to not speak to Jonghyun, but he feels as though his heart will thank him later. Yes Jonghyun confessed that he liked him, Minho was happy to hear that. But what was the use if Jonghyun wasn’t here with him? Jonghyun will probably find some girl or guy in Japan that he likes a lot more than he ever liked Minho, and Minho has somewhat made his peace with that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minho graduates comfortably. Soccer and his teammates distract him from any depressing thoughts about Jonghyun and his grades only slip a little bit. He ends up getting a part-time job at a sports store in the mall, right across from where Jonghyun used to work – but he tries to not dwell on that too much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

College is different. The classes are harder, the professors don’t give a damn whether you do their work or not and the parties are wild. With the help of his parents Minho manages to rent a small apartment in walking distance of the campus. He usually uses his own paychecks to pay rent because he tries not to be too dependent on others.

 

Minho befriends Kibum - who prefers to be called Key -because he’s Minho’s age and lives in his apartment building. Kibum’s not attending college. He already has it made in the shade with some contract to model clothes for a living. Minho envies that. Kibum is rather loud, he speaks his mind a lot and is really flamboyant in his sense of clothing and the way he styles his hair. Minho has no problem with calling Key his best friend because he’s sure he won’t fall in love with him.

 

Taemin is another story. He’s a younger friend of Key’s from high school and from the moment he and Minho meet, Taemin doesn’t hide his feelings. Taemin’s sweet and cute and Minho thinks it’s pretty inevitable that he begins to feel something for the younger, especially when Taemin unabashedly flirts with him all the time.

 

What Minho feels for Taemin isn’t quite as strong as what he felt feels for Jonghyun, but it’s enough to base a relationship upon.  Minho does end up feeling guilty sometimes though, because when he’s making love to Taemin, most of the time, he’s thinking about Jonghyun, and when Taemin’s nestled against his side, sleeping next to him in his small apartment, Jonghyun’s bright smile invades his dreams. It .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minho groans as the sound of his cell phone ringing awakes him from his much needed sleep. It’s 7:12, Saturday morning and Saturday always meets Taemin curled up against his side, snoring lightly. Minho yawns, picking up the cell phone without even checking the ID.

 

“Hello?” His voice is gruff from sleep.

 

“Minho-ah, I’m sorry I must have waken you.”

 

Minho blinks a few times, trying to place this oddly familiar voice. It’s a woman and she sounds rather cheery which leads Minho to believe that his person is old, because only old people are happy to be up so early on a Saturday morning.

 

“Um, I’m sorry who is this?”

 

“Ahh that’s right we haven’t spoken since you left your parents house. This is Mrs. Kim, Jonghyun’s mother.”

 

Minho instantly freezes. Why in the world would Mrs. Kim be calling him? What if something happened to Jonghyun? The thought makes him feel sick.

 

“I have a favour to ask you. Jonghyun’s coming home for good tomorrow and I wanted to be there to pick him up from the airport, but I can’t get out of work,” she sighs. “I was wondering if you could do that for me. That boy hasn’t been back home since he left, I think it’ll be great if he can see someone familiar once he arrives.”

 

Minho’s face is impassive. Jonghyun. He hasn’t seen Jonghyun in three years. He hasn’t heard from him in three years. Seeing Jonghyun after all this time, would just cause problems. He’s got a boyfriend and things are going good. Now is not the time for Kim Jonghyun to waltz back into his life and strengthen that faint grasp he has on Minho’s heart.

 

But Mrs. Kim’s voice sounds hopeful. He can’t imagine himself saying no. “I – Sure, Mrs. Kim. I can do that for you. It’ll be great to see Jonghyun after all these years.” Minho prays that didn’t sound forced.

 

“Thank you Minho, his flight should arrive at 11am.” She hangs up.

 

Minho holds his face in his hands and vaguely registers the sound of Taemin waking up. He thinks to himself, .

 

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I'm honestly not used to this type of writing so I hope you guys like what I have so far. I apologize for any mistakes, comments are very much appreciated ♥