“Amber,” I called her out, but she just passed me by. “Amber, listen to me!” I grabbed her arm. She sent me a glare with her puffy and swollen eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have gone to Key’s place. Can you accept my apology?” I pouted at her. She just giggled and pinched my cheeks. “Of course. You’re my best friend.” She slung her arm at my neck. It felt like I was reborn with so much happiness that my heart contains with her forgiveness.

“So, what are your plans to make me happy?” She asked. I just chuckled and pulled her hand. “How does amusement park sound?” I asked and she nodded. We arrived and ran around, forgetting that we’re adults. “I wanna ride that!” She pulled me to the roller coaster. To be honest, I am scared in riding that, but since it was Amber who invited me, I just couldn’t say no.

“Are you sure you’re the man? You’re probably more like a chicken!” She laughed at me. “Whataver, Am.” I stuck my tongue out. She continued giggling, while my heart rapidly beats with her beautiful laughter. A leaf suddenly falls on her hair and I took a step closer and removed it from her. She was about to get it too, but it just ended up with our hands being together. I smiled and she smiled too. “Henry…” She looked at me with her beautiful orbs that I swear I can melt any moment. Since when did her eyes become as beautiful, no, become more beautiful than the stars in the sky? I was never aware that only Amber can give me this effect. No other girl in my life can make me feel this bliss. “Henry?” I snapped my thoughts when I see her tilting her cute small head

“Do you wanna forget all the pain and be happy?” I asked her. She was hesitant, but I just pulled her away. We went to the top of a small hill. We were the only ones there, except for the birds and trees that were there. “What are we doing here?” She asked me. “To let out all the frustrations we have in our hearts,” I answered her while facing the scenery. I guess she was confused so I began.

“KYUHYUN HYUNG! I HATE THAT YOU ALWAYS ORDER ME AROUND WHEN YOU PLAY STARCRAFT!” I yelled. She laughed and got ready to scream too. “VICTORIA UNNI! SLEEP PROPERLY WITHOUT GETTING YOUR BODY BEND IN A WEIRD MANNER!” She yelled and we both laughed. We began to yell more about the frustrations we have towards our school, the language barrier, the annoying ahjummas and ahjusshis we’ve encountered, and lastly, Key. “YAH! KEY! KIM KIBUM! DO YOU THINK KEY IS SUCH A GOOD NICKNAME!? WELL, SORRY TO TELL YOU BUT THAT ! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR BREAKING MY HEART! I HATE YOU FOR THINKING THAT I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! I’M SORRY I FELL IN LOVE YOU!” She said and tears were streaming down her face. She was panting, collecting her breath and I hugged her again, taking all the pain she has. If only your pain would be transferred to me, I would gladly accept them just for you to be happy. Lord, please do anything to make her happy again. I’d gladly accept the pain.

She pulled her head away and wiped her tears. “I’m so pathetic. Why can’t I forget about him!?” She yelled and began to hit my chest. I’ll take it all away. I’ll take all your pain away, just smile and be happy. “Sshh. Are you hungry? I’m sure you are. I’ll buy you ice cream.” I said and held her hand as we go to the ice cream store.

I brought her to the ice cream store afterwards, where I paid for everything she ate. Our hands were clasped together, but I let go when we sat down. She eats a lot, but she remains graceful when eating. I watch her as I can still see her puffy eyes from crying earlier. After eating, she was smiling like before, even before Key came into our picture. I shook off Key inside my head and saw a small basketball court nearby. “Wanna play?” I offered her, to which she agreed. She threw the ball and we began battling out.

This was our pastime. This was what we used to do. This was what best friends do, hang out with each other and have fun. Towards the end of the game, I managed to throw the ball away from her hands. “Hey!” She stumped her foot on the ground and began to chase me. “You’ll never catch me, Amber Josephine!” I . We were laughing and running around. Instead of her catching me, I caught her in my arms and twirled her around. When we stopped, she turned and faced me.

I just smiled at her and she smiled at me. I looked at our position and I felt my heart was gonna explode any moment. Her arms were on my neck while I have mine on her waist. We were standing with just a small gap between us. We have been this close before, but why does this make me feel different?

I was about to lean closer, when we heard a clearing of throat. We turned and saw him. “Key!” Amber exclaimed and pulled herself away from me. I felt empty and lonely, and yet Amber’s presence is here. She’s so near, yet so far away. I can see that the anger that Amber used to have for Key had faded and was replaced with hope. Hope that he will probably be sorry and ask for forgiveness. And I was right, that was what exactly happened next.

“Amber,” he smiled, held her hand and hugged her. I hoped she'd push him away, yell at him and go to me, but I was wrong. It was at that moment that I realized that I didn’t know Amber. She just hugged him back with tears. “Amber, I’m sorry. It was such a fool of me to let go such an amazing girl like you. I don’t care if you don’t give yourself to me, just come back to me and stay with me. Please forgive me, Amber. I love you.” He said. I can sense that those were all lies, but he was sincere. I only pray that Amber won’t believe him. “I forgive you, Key. And… I love you too.”

Those words broke my heart into a million pieces. Amber had forgotten my presence. To her, Key matters more. I am just her best friend, while he is her boyfriend. There’s nothing left for us but friendship. Her smile reached up to her ears, something I wish I could do. I wish I was the one who would be in your arms, not him. I wish it was me, not him.

Bargaining. I asked the Lord to take all her sorrows and pain away and make me feel it, in exchange for her happiness. Guess what, it came faster than I expect it to be. Key asked for forgiveness from Amber and she accepted him. Why couldn’t I be him? I’d trade anything to be in Key’s position right now. I don’t even know why I’m feeling like this. Please, I want to know if this is what they call love.