Baekhyun knows pain, ok? He’s had all four of his wisdom teeth removed, broke his wrist at 11 skateboarding his best friend Minseok’s empty pool, fractured his jaw at 13 after a paddling incident at summer camp (he had his jaw wired shut for a month!), and pulled his groin muscle trying to dance on top of a table while pledging for a frat in college ( frats, by the way.) He’s been subjected to pain at different times of his life. And that’s not counting emotional pain. That would be a long list.

The pain he is feeling right now, though, is unbearable. He’s been curled up on his bed all morning, groaning pitifully. He had attempted to go to the living room to get his phone but his stomach decides to amp it up everytime he so much as thinks of moving. Not a good morning all around.

He’s saved from attempting another trek to the living room by the front door opening and two people entering the apartment. 

Finally.

“Baekhyun, did you– Why are you still in bed?” Minseok, his roommate, asks incredulously as he stares at him from the door to his room.

The question is a fair one; Baekhyun is a 25 year old adult (debatable) not wearing anything but his underwear while tangled in the bedsheets at 11am on a Wednesday. There are other things he should be doing right now, like making money, or trying to woo Kim Jongdae, his childhood friend, and making him fall into his arms in a romance induced stupor.

“Nothing,” he groans instead. He scrunches his eyes as sharp pain shoots from his insides into the deepest parts of his soul.

“Hey, Minseok, are you– What’s wrong with Baekhyun?” Luhan, Minseok’s boytoy, asks as he stands behind Minseok. Damn, he should have known Minseok would arrive with him. Minseok probably told Baekhyun he would be arriving with Luhan yesterday before he left but Baekhyun was having a bit of stomach trouble and was puking his guts out. Minseok also probably told Baekhyun to go to the campus doctor yesterday afternoon. Huh. Well, that’s the post grad life.

“He’s stupid, but we all knew that so I’m guessing it’s something else,” Minseok answers. He walks towards Baekhyun’s bed, places his hand on his forehead and shakes his head. “Yup, something else.”

“Should I go get the car?”

“Please.”

Luhan leaves in a rush as Minseok sighs and starts pacing around his room, picking Baekhyun’s clothes from the ground to avoid tripping into his death. He stares daggers at Baekhyun every now and then, probably judging his entire being.

“What are you doing?” Asks Baekhyun in a very small voice. He feels like if he talks too loud Minseok might snap at him.

“I’m distracting myself so I don’t throttle you,” he answers. “Because I clearly told you to go see a doctor yesterday, didn’t I? Now look at you.” 

He folds a couple of t-shirts before grabbing some of Baekhyun’s things and stuffing them inside his closet. “Luhan should be here any second now. I’ll help you downstairs, c’mon.”

After helping him into a pair of sweats and letting loose a string of words no one under the age of eighteen should ever listen to, and with the help of his most dearest friend who he should repay tenfold after all of this is over (and if he doesn’t die), Baekhyun manages to get out of bed, go down three flights of stairs and get into Luhan’s car.

“I’m dying,” he whispers as he lets his body fall on the backseat. Minseok is kind enough to throw a blanket over him before going to the front seat.

“No, you’re not,” and Baekhyun can feel Minseok rolling his eyes, “you probably have a bad case of indigestion or something.” 

“It’s all gas and poop,” Luhan adds, patting Baekhyun’s leg before starting the car.

“No, it’s not! I’m gonna die. It was nice knowing you all. Minseok, please don’t let Chanyeol take my Xbox and tell Kyungsoo he’s a little .”

Luhan snorts from the driver’s seat and Minseok shoots him a look. “What?” Luhan asks, all innocent-like. .

“Baek, you’re not dying, and Chanyeol won’t take your Xbox and I won’t tell Kyungsoo anything because I actually like him,” Minseok informs him.

Baekhyun gives him a disgusted face as he fake gags so hard he actually feels like throwing up. “Ew, that’s it. I’m dead.”

The ride seems to go on forever as Minseok asks Luhan to take the curves really, really slowly.

“We’re here,” Luhan announces as he parks in front of the hospital’s entrance. “I’m gonna go get a nurse or something.”

Minseok gets out of the car and helps Baekhyun do the same just as Luhan comes out with a nurse and a wheelchair in tow.

“Hello, Mr. Byun,” the nurse greets. “We’ll get a doctor to see you straight away.” She helps him into the chair and smiles pleasantly.

Baekhyun holds onto Minseok’s hand as tightly as he can while Luhan shoots him daggers with his eyes. Well, Luhan can it, he met Minseok first.

“Don’t leave me, Minseok.”

“I won’t.”

He gets settled on an exam room and is told to put on a gown. Luhan would probably kill him if he weren’t dying already because Minseok literally strips him bare and dresses him in the hospital’s outfit.

“I hate you,” Luhan mouths behind Minseok’s back as his friend folds his clothes.

Baekhyun winks at him before grabbing onto the sheets until his knuckles turn white, pain encompassing his entire being. That’s when a thought pops into his head.

“Minseok, what hospital are we in?”

“Saint Matthew’s, why?”

.

“Hello, ers!” says the doctor that enters the room. Now, you’ll wonder why a doctor at a prestigious hospital would greet his patients like that. This is no regular doctor, you see. He has a face that is not easy to forget; probably because Baekhyun’s known that face for years. Jongdae is the name that goes with the high cheekbones and kitten smile. Second best friend extraordinaire, hotshot surgical resident, Jongdae. The one who made him pledge for a frat that made him get a tattoo on his cheek. Jongdae, the one who made him believe Junmyeon, the Bio T.A., had a crush on him and encouraged him to send said assistant flirty texts until he found out his best friend had actually given him Luhan’s number. Jongdae, who he’s had something more than a crush on ever since he realized waking up with Jongdae’s body next to him made his mornings one hundred percent better than when he woke up alone. ing Jongdae. “How are you guys? Fancy seeing you here.”

“I want another doctor!” Baekhyun shouts. The sudden movement makes him whimper and he swears he sees a smile on Luhan’s face.

“Shut up, I’m the only one available.” He takes out a chart and starts scribbling things on it that will probably make Baekhyun end up in Removal Surgery or something like that. “How’s your dissertation going?” He asks Minseok as he takes Baekhyun’s vitals and asks for his symptoms, touching here and there with medical curiosity. Only medical, Baekhyun reminds himself. He thanks whatever deity is watching over him that he has a fever because seeing where Jongdae is touching would sure make him blush if this were any other day.

“It’s going good, really tiring though, but we’re nearly over,” Minseok explains.

When Jongdae starts to press his stomach as he goes lower and lower he just wants to drop dead. Pain overcomes him as Jongdae releases his hand after pressing hard and, in any other situation, he’d enjoy this, but right now he just wants to cut Jongdae’s fingers off. “ that hurts, you ing , , . Mommy,” he whimpers.

“Bingo!”

“Is it poop?” Luhan asks from the chair by the curtain surrounding the bed.

Minseok shoots him a look before looking back at Jongdae. “Is he gonna be ok?”

“It’s probably his appendix. We’ll just run a few tests to confirm, but it’s most likely on its way to exploding.” Jongdae writes down more things and leaves the chart at the foot of his bed. “I’m gonna get a nurse to come take you upstairs for a CT. If it’s appendicitis, you’ll need emergency surgery to fix it.”

“See! I told you it wasn’t poop!” He groans again, clutching his stomach and shooting swear words like they are bullets. “I’m dying.” 

“Sadly, no. It’s an easy fix. For your gut, that is, there’s nothing we can do about your brain.” Jongdae pats Baekhyun’s shoulder, smartass smile on his face that Baekhyun feels oddly like kissing away. His fever is probably making him think weird stuff.

“ you,” he says instead.

The doctor steps out of the room, Minseok following behind, probably to ask a million questions. Jongdae will probably answer them with dumb comments and Minseok will smack him on the head just like he did when they were in college and Jongdae tried to outsmart the oldest.

Baekhyun just lies there, trying not to move, and catching Luhan yawning every once in a while. He’s sporting the same tired face as Minseok since he probably stayed up all night watching over his boyfriend. Baekhyun gets a little jealous of their fairy tale romance sometimes. “You can go home, you know. Sleep,” he tells him.

“It’s ok. I kinda hate you, but I don’t, so I rather stay,” Luhan answers nonchalantly. 

“If I die–“

“You’re not gonna die.”

“But if I do, just promise me you will take care of Minseok, ok? He’s like my brother.”

“I know.” The look on Luhan’s face is soft and even though Baekhyun hated Luhan’s guts for the first year he dated Minseok and they bicker constantly about everything and anything, he knows the man loves his friend and that he’d do anything for him. He’s also the only one who knows about his little dilemma with Jongdae. He’ll always regret his drunken mistake the night Minseok graduated college. “But if you live, which you will, promise me you will tell Jongdae how you feel.”

He considers it for a second, and it might be the fever talking, but the words that come out next aren’t his own. “Fine, ugh, you .”

The nurse that wheels him through the halls of the hospital a few minutes later is kind of cute, he’d so date her if he were into girls. She gives him extra blankets and fixes his pillow and warms her hands before drawing blood. “The hospital is always so cold so my hands get cold as well,” she explains.

After the technician is done with his CT, he’s taken back to the exam room where Minseok is nearly asleep on his feet, Luhan standing by his side keeping a careful eye on his boyfriend.

“It’s definitely appendicitis,” Jongdae says as he enters the room again right behind Baekhyun. “And guess what? I’m doing the surgery!”

“No!” Screams Baekhyun.

“Yay!” Jongade celebrates.

“I won’t let you! You’ll probably write your initials with the stitches or leave scissors in my intestines!”

“Relax, Baek, I would never do that.” He smirks, the bastard smirks at Baekhyun and all he wants to do is get up from his deathbed and punch him in the face. Or kiss him silly. Either will suffice.

“Now I’ll definitely die,” he cries. “Minseok don’t he let him kill me.”

Minseok, who now stands right by his bed, leans closely and ruffles his hair. “I think having a JDK scar-tattoo on your lower stomach would be kinda cool,” he says. “It’s not like Jongdae has a bad pulse so it’ll be a beautiful addition to your other tattoo.”

“My tattoo does not say JDK!”

“Whatever, buddy. I was there when you got it, I know what it says.”

He loves Minseok, he really does, but he’s a sadistic er when he wants to be. Oh god, now he gets why Luhan, in spite of his claimed manliness and supposed dominance, is actually so lenient when it comes to Minseok. He can feel the vomit on his throat and this time he can’t stop it.

“Here’s a basin, my gift to you,” Luhan says as he hands him the container just as Baekhyun lurches.

“So, the quicker we do this the better, so I’ll go get ready,” Jongdae tells them as he gives Baekhyun a pitiful look. “You’ll be alright, Baek. I’ll see you in the O.R.”

 “Sur–“ Another puking fit hits him and he’s left unable to answer.

As Minseok rubs his back comfortingly, a different nurse comes in with a tray full of things that look mildly terrifying.

“The doctor ordered a bit of morphine, so try to enjoy it while you can,” she says with a smile. 

The second she sets up an IV and the drug hits his veins, his muscles relax, he let’s go of Minseok’s probably strained hand and he lets his body fall against the mattress.

“Oh, , this is heaven.”

“Baekhyun!” Minseok scolds him. “I’m sorry about him.” He apologizes to the nurse on behalf of Baekhyun, who is now enthralled by the artificial lights in the ceiling.

“Dude,” he chuckles. “Am I floating right now?”

The nurse giggles before throwing away the trash (Luhan not included, sadly) and letting Minseok know someone will come and take Baekhyun up to the OR any minute now.

“Hey! Baekhyun!” Minseok tries to get his attention once an orderly comes to take him away. “We’ll wait for you right here, ok?”

“I love you, Minseok. You’re my favorite older brother,” Baekhyun admits with a goofy smile.

“We’re not– Sure, Baek. You’re my favorite little brother.”

“I will tell Jongdae you said that!” He shouts as he’s wheeled away. “He’s gonna be so pissed, I’m so happy. This is the best day of my life.”

Everything is a haze after that. He knows he ends up in a big cold room some time later, though he can’t pinpoint how long it took to get there. He sees Jongdae at one point but he’s so distracted by all the astronaut people covered up from head to toe that he pays no attention to him even though he definitely moves his mouth when Baekhyun isn’t listening.

Someone tells him to count backwards from 100 and he’s sure he ends up missing numbers. He at math.

He dreams about cat-like smiles and beautifully carved facial structures and about soccer players face on his couch as he tries to watch a movie. Even in his dreams he can’t escape their cheesy, cavity-inducing love story.

-

Jesus H. Christ his mouth feels like something died in it. He needs water now, and a toothbrush.

“Thirsty,” he croaks in the most god-awful voice he’s ever heard himself speak with. He sounds like a frog mixed with a goat.

He feels more than sees someone putting some ice chips on his lips and telling him to not sit up yet. “Everything went great.” It’s Jongdae who’s there with him. He caresses his hair and helps him with the glass.

“Well, I’m not dead so I guess you did something right.”

The resident chuckles as he stares at Baekhyun with a look he doesn’t think he’s seen before. Not directed at him, at least.

“I was thinking about what you said,” he nearly whispers as he takes the glass from Baekhyun and leaves it on the bedside table.

“What did I say, exactly?” Is apparently not what Jongdae expected to hear because he withdraws his hand and stands awkwardly by his bed. “Jongdae?”

“Nothing… Forget it,” he smiles. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

He leaves right after and Jongdae is left alone until a nurse comes and takes him to a room somewhere in the hospital. Will Jongdae be able to locate him later? Probably. He hopes.

“He lives!” Chanyeol shouts from the doorframe a few hours later. “Minseok called us saying you were allowed visitors.”

“Oh, you’re ok. Cool,” Kyungsoo adds as he leaves a cheap teddy bear with a glittery ‘Get well soon’ sewn onto its shirt. “Minseok said he’d be here in a few. Luhan took him out for coffee since he was virtually sleep walking.”

“Jongdae, the man of the hour! Heard from the nurse your attending congratulated you after you took out Baekhyun’s intestines,” Chanyeol says as Jongdae enters the room. He goes directly to the chart and doesn’t look at Baekhyun once. What the hell?

“He didn’t take out– Why do I bother.” Kyungsoo goes to sit on the foot of Baekhyun’s bed and looks at Jongdae and Baekhyun with a suspicious look. “Did something happen?“

“N–no, no, I was just checking up on my post ops, Baekhyun was on the list,” Jongdae says as he scribbles something on his chart and let’s Chanyeol talk his ears out.

It doesn’t take long for sleep to claim Baekhyun again, however. He closes his eyes as Jongdae leaves the room and Chanyeol claims a new victim in Kyungsoo.

-

He doesn’t know how long he sleeps but, when he wakes up, it’s light out.

“Hey there, sleepy head,” Minseok greets him with a smile. Baekhyun smiles back and thanks heavens Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are gone. He loves his friends to death but he doesn’t think he can take Chanyeol’s loud demeanor and Kyungsoo’s annoyed response at everything Chanyeol does right now.

“Hey.”

“Ran into Jongdae in the hallway. He said you’ll probably be discharged today.”

Right, Jongdae. He gets a weird feeling in his now incomplete gut at the mention of his name. “Really? Cool.”

“I have an important meeting this afternoon so Luhan will come pick you up, ok?”

Baekhyun groans as Minseok hands him a glass of water. “Why Luhan? Can’t you just skip your meeting?” He feels awfully like a small child begging his mom for candy.

“I’m not afraid of punching you in your stitches, Baekhyun,” he answers with such a calm voice it’s scary. Minseok has always had the power of looking incredibly innocent and being able to use it to his advantage. He thinks maybe Kyungsoo has been spending a little too much time with Minseok since he started the same post-grad courses. However much he loves Minseok, he’s not very into the idea of having two of them.

“Fine. Tell him to bring me some clothes, though.”

“I will.” The older man smiles as he returns to his book while Baekhyun sighs and pulls the covers over his body. At least he’s not in pain anymore.

Lying down on his uncomfortable hospital bed, it’s like everything he’s been trying to avoid, all these feelings he’s been burying for as long as he’s been aware of them, come sprawling down on him. To make matters worse, Jongdae now became his actual knight in shining armor. He literally saved his life. Baekhyun is so ed.

“How did you do it?” He suddenly asks without thinking. 

“Do what?” Minseok closes his book and moves to sit on the foot of Baekhyun’s bed.

He feels a blush creeping up his neck but Minseok seems to ignore it. “Uhm… With Luhan. How did you know he was what you wanted?”

“Well,” he says as he makes himself comfortable while looking uncomfortable at the same time. He isn’t the most appropriate person to be asking this to since he’s not one to share his feelings lightly, even to Luhan. It’s one of the reasons it took years for him to finally realize Luhan was the one. “You know Luhan. He’s very, very persistent. I remember him chasing me down the halls just to tell me I looked good in whatever I was wearing even if it was just a ratty old t-shirt.” He chuckles to himself. “I just… knew he was different.”

Baekhyun giggles before working up the courage to say the one thing he’s been hiding. He takes a deep breath and looks at anywhere but Minseok’s eyes. “I think I’m in love with Jongdae,” he whispers.

Minseok gives him a small smile, one that doesn’t show any teeth. “Oh, I know.”

“What?” Baekhyun chokes on spit. He starts coughing like a maniac and Minseok offers him some water. “What do you mean with ‘I know,’” he asks when he’s able to speak.

“I’ve known you since you were eight years old, Baekhyun.” He chuckles as he moves to lie besides Baekhyun and Baekhyun scoots to make room for him. He ends up with his head on Minseok’s shoulder as Minseok runs his fingers through his hair. Baekhyun likes the feeling of Minseok’s hand on his scalp, it reminds him of late Sunday afternoons spent in the clearing among the trees in the back of his house. “I didn’t really figure it out until you were out of college, though. I started noticing the way you looked at him because it reminded me of the way Luhan looks at me.”

“Ew, God, Am I a smitten little puppy?” He groans as he buries his face on Minseok’s chest. He knows for sure that if Luhan saw them now, he’d probably throw Baekhyun out the window.

“Pretty much. I’m surprised Jongdae hasn’t noticed, but I guess he’s just about the same kind of idiot you are.”

They don’t say much else and Baekhyun, knowing how tired Minseok probably is and how little he has slept, slowly (limited movements, stitches and all) covers them both with his blanket and allows Minseok to close his eyes. “Thanks for being here with me, Minseok,” he whispers. His friend is out like a light in no time.

His mind tries to run from him again but Minseok’s even breaths on top of his head keep him steady. Instead, he tries to focus on what’s to come. He still needs to find a new roommate since Luhan and Minseok are moving in together soon. He doesn’t know what’ll happen to him without the constant anchor that is Minseok in his life. 

You see, when he was eight, his parents got divorced. His mother took him to live on the other side of the country, in a small suburban area outside a big city. He met Minseok by mistake since the older boy kicked a football right to his face. He apologized with ice cream and it was downhill from there. He became the older brother he never had and he has never felt that oppressing loneliness he never knew existed until someone filled the void in his chest.

Jongdae came a few years later, carrying a huge book filled with gross illustrations of human anatomy. They’d spend hours talking about whatever was in their minds, not being able to shut up even when asked to. The one class they shared, they were kicked out of more often than not. And even though Minseok sometimes got frustrated at Baekhyun’s and Jongdae’s explosive personalities, he would always stand by them, covering their backs.

“Excuse me, sir?” A nurse comes into the room. His friend wakes up from his short slumber and sits up on the bed. “I’m just gonna do a quick check up.”

“Oh, right.” Minseok gets up and fixes his messy hair. “I’ll see you tonight, ok? I’ll finish my meeting quickly and then I’m free for the next week.” He tucks Baekhyun in before straightening his wrinkled shirt.

“I really appreciate you doing this,” Baekhyun voices. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come in when you did.”

Minseok sighs deeply. “I think I need to reconsider this move.”

“Don’t be dumb. I’d probably die for sure if you did because Luhan would definitely kill me.”

They both chuckle, the nurse getting impatient outside the room waiting for Minseok to leave.

“Try to get some rest, Baek.”

--

“Rise and shine, princess!” Luhan says before sitting on the chair by his bed. 

Baekhyun had been woken up several times for check ups and Jongdae was nowhere to be seen. “I’m awake, you .”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” The older man brings with him a bag, probably carrying Baekhyun’s clothes. “Packed some stuff for you.”

“Hopefully decent .”

“Is that catwoman costume decent? You know, the one with the hole right in the cro–“

“Luhan, I swear to God–“

“Relax, Baek. I think Zitao borrowed it that one time and Minseok made him burn it.” He chuckles as Baekhyun visibly slackens. “Who knows what it went through knowing how he and Sehun get.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Jonginnie went by the apartment last night and said he’d go by again tonight with a present for not being able to come to the hospital,” Luhan informs him as Baekhyun flips through the channels on the television mindlessly.

“Work keeping him busy?”

“Yeah, and you know how he’s always trying to impress that girl in his ballet company.”

“Soojung.”

“That’s the one.”

Luhan starts unpacking the clothes he’d brought and Baekhyun can actually confirm they are just regular clean sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Thought sweatpants would be more comfortable than skinny jeans considering your stomach is held together by a thread.”

Baekhyun smiles at him because he’s probably right and Luhan can be a very good friend when he wants to be. “Thanks,” he says earnestly.

The man just smiles and leaves the clothes on the table by the foot of the bed. “When’s the doctor coming to discharge you?”

“The nurse said he’d be here around 5.”

“So, any minute now.”

“Yeah.”

“Has Jongdae been around?” Luhan goes around the room inspecting everything, probably trying to find something to do that isn’t calling Minseok to know how he’s doing in his meeting. 

“He was here yesterday when I woke up. Apparently I said something to him that I can’t remember and he got all weird.”

“Did you ask him what you said?”

“No. He bailed right after and then Chanyeol and Kyungsoo got here and I missed the chance. Also, I may have fallen asleep before I had a chance to talk to anyone.”

Luhan hums while staring out the window that looks onto the park across the street. It’s a pretty ty place to have a park, Baekhyun thinks, right outside a hospital. “I haven’t seen him either. I tried looking for him before coming here but I was told he wasn’t on this floor.”

“Yeah, well, what are we gonna do, really.” He slouches as he goes around the less than 50 channels on the television yet again.

“You can’t give up, Baekhyun. You’ve been living with this for too long, you’ll never be able to act on your feelings or move on if you just stay quiet,” Luhan tells him.

Baekhyun is about to respond when a man steps inside the room. “Hello, Mr. Byun. I’m Doctor Campos. I’m here to give you all the instructions for your discharge.” 

“Hello,” Baekhyun and Luhan chorus.

“Ok, so, first of all, you need at least two more weeks of strict rest before returning to your regular activities. That means, no partying, no clubbing, no sports–“

“No problem there,” Luhan interrupts and the doctor gives him an annoyed look.

“No junk food and absolutely no drinking or smoking.”

Baekhyun groans as the doctor hands him a few slips with everything written down. The man starts talking again, something about mild exercise, when Baekhyun checks out of the conversation. He sees Jongdae walk quickly past his room, trying uselessly to seem natural. As natural as a bank robber in an old timey cartoon. He’s sure his friend stole a glance inside and locked eyes with Baekhyun for at least half a second. There’s a feeling in his chest that has multiplied ever since yesterday and he thinks it isn’t going to go away any time soon.

“… If you follow all these instructions, you’ll have a speedy recovery,” the doctor finishes chirpily. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Baekhyun says as he sits up and lets his legs fall on the side of the bed. “Got it.”

“I’ll make sure he follows all the instructions, doc. Don’t worry,” Luhan reassures the doctor while accompanying him outside the room.

Baekhyun tries to stand but his legs feel wobbly under his weight. He feels he’s about to fall when steady hands grab him. “Be careful there, you’re gonna tear your stitches.” He looks up and sees Jongdae smiling softly at him. “Gotcha,” he whispers.

A shudder makes its way from where Jongdae’s cold hands are hanging on to his arm. Baekhyun looks at him and feels a pang in his chest. He wants to run his hands through Jongdae’s hair and trace Jongdae’s face with his fingertips. Instead, he clears his throat and manages to stand firm on his own two feet. “Hey, Jongdae. Thanks.”

“No problem.” 

Luhan enters the room once again and stops dead on his tracks, Baekhyun notices. Jongdae lets him go and says a quick goodbye before leaving. Baekhyun can still feel the ghost of his friend’s hands on his skin.

“What was that about?” Luhan asks as he helps Baekhyun put on his sweatpants.

“Nothing… I don’t know,” answers Baekhyun. He holds on to Luhan’s shoulder as he slides his leg through and Luhan doesn’t make a single mean comment. He feels so ty right now.

The older hums, taking Baekhyun’s shirt and sliding it through his head. “If only Minseok saw me now,” he jokes, probably trying to make Baekhyun feel better. 

“You are so whipped you are willing to dress me –your nemesis– just to make Minseok happy,” Baekhyun tells him between chuckles.

“You’re not my nemesis,” Luhan contradicts him. “The vain of my existence, maybe.”

They both laugh, the tense atmosphere fading bit by bit. A nurse comes not much later with a wheelchair and an apologetic look. “Hospital policy,” she says.

Luhan wheels him out and they’re in the car in no time. Baekhyun is so eager to get back home.

-

“Baekhyunnie, do you want anything? Me and Luhan are going to get some groceries,” Minseok tells him, leaning on the doorframe. Baekhyun is on his bed, his things spread all over the floor and he can see how much Minseok is willing himself to not clean.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Ok. We’ll be back soon.”

It’s been a few days since he’s come home from the hospital and all he’s done is walk around his apartment, watch a bunch of movies with Minseok and sleep until noon. He’d enjoy this pseudo vacation so much more if he didn’t think about a certain person stuck inside his heart every other second.

Minseok has definitely noticed something is off so he’s more motherly than usual, cuddling with Baekhyun and letting the younger wrap himself around his torso, making food and staying in with Luhan instead of going out like they usually do.

Luhan will eventually want payback, Baekhyun thinks; he’s been taking too much time from their couple life. Baekhyun would feel guilty, but Minseok is so warm and soft he could literally not care less. Luhan will take Minseok away soon so Baekhyun needs to make the most of the days he has left.

He stretches carefully, his stomach is still sore and he doesn’t want to tear his stitches. He’ll need to go back to the hospital to get those off in a couple of days and the thought makes him dizzy.

He hasn’t spoken nor seen Jongdae since he was discharged and, if he was being honest with himself, the thought of seeing the man again terrifies him.

He’s fairly sure he said something revealing to said resident when he was high on pain medication after his surgery.  He can barely remember being in the recovery room but he’s been getting flashes of memory here and there that tell him he has a big ing mouth.

“You look miserable,” Kyungsoo tells him as he sits by his side on the bed.

Baekhyun scoffs as he covers his face with his blankets. “How did you get in? Minseok went out.”

“Ran into him downstairs. Luhan gave me the keys.”

“Traitor.”

His friend sighs as he looks around Baekhyun’s room with a look of disgust. God, he should have never introduced him to Minseok. “Your room is a mess, you and Jongdae are meant for each other.”

“Shut– Wait, what?”

“I said you are gross and you need to clean up your .”

“No, you didn’t. You said something about Jongdae.”

“I think Jongdae might have messed up your brain while he had your hands inside of you.”

Baekhyun chokes on his spit from the not so innocent thought invading his gutter-like brain. “What?”

“Jesus, you’re impossible.” Kyungsoo explains no further and just decides to leave the room mumbling about stupid friends and getting something to eat.

“Kyungsoo, goddammit,” he curses as he stumbles from his bed and walks into the kitchen. “Have you spoken to Jongdae?”

“Went by his apartment the other day,” he answers without looking at Baekhyun.

“What did he say?”

“That he was exhausted, and that you were a trooper or some cheesy like that.”

“He said that?”

He actually groans, like this whole conversation is just the most annoying thing he’s ever experienced. “I won’t give you a play by play, just call him.”

“He hasn’t been answering my texts, what makes you think he’ll answer my calls?”

Kyungsoo sighs as he hands Baekhyun a sandwich made with food he can actually digest. His friend can be very helpful sometimes. “Baekhyun, grow a pair.”

Or maybe not.

-

“Why are you on the floor?”

“I’m thinking.”

“On the floor?”

“Yes.”

He can hear Minseok’s footsteps down the hall. He’s probably making a fuss over Baekhyun’s bedroom’s deplorable state. Luhan is just doing what he mostly does, read: annoy him.

“Who thinks while lying on the floor, that’s just ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re a child, a child who I’m pretty sure hasn’t called Jongdae.”

“I don’t need to call anyone that doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Luhan kneels by his side, condescending hand on Baekhyun’s head. “Oh, you silly little thing.”

“Baekhyun get up, you’re gonna get your clothes dirty,” Minseok commands. 

He obeys, just like he always does when Minseok gives an order, and sits on the sofa with his knees pressed to his chest. “I’m a mess.”

“Yes,” both Luhan and Minseok agree.

“Shut up.”

His oldest friend sits by his side, throwing his hand over Baekhyun’s shoulders and letting Baekhyun’s head fall to his chest. “There, there.”

“Look, Jongdae’s gonna be at this thing Kyungsoo’s doing. You should come with us, talk to him face to face,” Luhan suggests as he carefully extracts Minseok’s arm from Baekhyun’s body and pulls his boyfriend towards himself.

“Kyungsoo’s doing a thing? He didn’t invite me, the .”

“Probably because you haven’t charged your phone in two days,” Minseok says. He ruffles Baekhyun’s hair before realizing it’s a sticky mess (he hasn’t showered in three days) and withdraws his hand with a scowl. “Baekhyun, if you don’t go inside that shower in the next five minutes, I will burn your entire snapback collection.”

Safe to say Baekhyun walks faster than he’s done all week.

-

Kyungsoo’s place is packed. He doesn’t know how Kyungsoo has so many friends when he’s an insufferable prick. He’s maybe exaggerating a little bit, but still.

“No alcohol for you,” said prick tells him with a scowl. He takes Baekhyun’s plastic cup from him and hands it to Sehun of all people. The tall kid just smirks at him before slapping Zitao’s and moving to the living room.

“,” he hisses. 

He sits on the kitchen counter, looking at the top of Minseok’s head and wondering if this party was a good idea.

“You can’t drink, you asswipe,” Minseok warns him.

“Why did I even come, I can barely move, I shouldn’t be at a party.”

“That’s because you’ve always been an idiot,” he hears Jongdae say. He turns around too quick and feels a stabbing pain in his stomach.

“God ing damn it,” he says as he clutches his stitches like they are gonna fall any second. He checks. They’re fine. 

“Are you ok?” Jongdae rushes to his side and looks him over with expert hands. “You’re ok. Ok. What are you doing here you’re supposed to be resting.”

Minseok takes the chance to leave and Baekhyun sees him whispering up to Luhan’s ear. Probably gossiping about this whole encounter.

“I just…I don’t know. I guess I was tired of being locked up in my apartment.”

“Minseok hovering like a mother hen?”

“Worse. Luhan and Minseok hovering like mother hens. I think I foresee a child in the near future.”

Jongdae chuckles as he lets his hands fall out of Baekhyun’s body. He misses the warmth the same second.

“Why haven’t you been answering my texts?” Baekhyun asks and Jongdae’s laughter comes to a stop.

“I figured you needed some time to think.”

Baekhyun frowns. “About what? How one of my best friends is suddenly avoiding me?”

“Baekhyun–“

“Did I do something? Say something? Because I can’t remember saying anything that would make you want to stay away from me.”

“Let’s just– Just forget it, ok? Let’s move on.”

“But from what? I still don’t know what I did.”

“Nothing! You didn’t do anything. Just drop it.”

“Jongdae!”

“I like you!”

“What?”

Jongdae’s breaths are quick and he looks so conflicted. Baekhyun really wants to kiss him. 

“I like you, ok? And I thought you liked me too since you clearly confessed your feelings while we were in the recovery room, but then you just conveniently forgot about everything and I don’t know if it was a side effect of the drugs or if you are pretending because you just don’t feel the same way!”

“Jongdae– I–“

“Don’t, ok? Let me just get over it. I’ll get over it. I just need some time.” He leaves then, leaving Baekhyun with his plastic cup and a twisted half gut.

“Why did Jongdae storm out?” Minseok asks while he gets some ice from the fridge. When he notices Baekhyun’s face, he leaves his cup on the counter and helps him get on his feet. “Let’s go home.”

They get a cab, Minseok convincing Luhan to just stay and enjoy himself while Minseok leaves with Baekhyun, and they don’t say anything the entire ride.

They climb the stairs slowly, Baekhyun feeling like his legs weigh a ton, and, once they’re at their door, Minseok opens it to let them inside.

“I’ll make you something to eat, ok?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You should eat something, Baek.”

He doesn’t have the will to fight back. He just wants to curl up and cry. Why didn’t he say anything? Why did he have to just sit there and watch as Jongdae opened up his heart while he just stared? He brings his knees to his chest and curls up on the couch.

“Hey, Baek,” Minseok calls softly. “Hey.” He sits by his side, bringing Baekhyun’s head on his lap and lacing his fingers through his hair.

“I messed up.”

“You can fix it.”

“Can I?”

Minseok doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t stop his fingers, and the movement makes Baekhyun’s eyes drop on his own. 

He must have fallen asleep at some point because, when he wakes up, it’s morning, and he’s on his bed, nicely tucked in.

-

“Would you stop moping already?” Luhan throws him a banana, but it pitifully lands a few feet from him.

“Stick to football, will you?” Baekhyun retorts. He picks up the fruit and eats it, Luhan smiling even though Baekhyun just insulted him. “Can’t believe Minseok called you to babysit me.”

“He’s just worried, you know? He doesn’t like seeing you like this.”

“And how exactly do I look?”

“Like a hobo. Now go shower, you have a doctor’s appointment.”

Baekhyun drags himself to the bathroom as Luhan watches him with amusement.

It’s been two days since he’s heard anything from Jongdae. Minseok has tried to talk to him about it, but Baekhyun just shuts off, not wanting to remember the look on Jongdae’s face before he left that kitchen, left Baekhyun.

He washes quickly, dries off and makes himself presentable. Luhan will not drive him anywhere if he doesn’t look human.

“Finally!” Luhan says when Baekhyun comes out of his room. 

The man drives like a grandpa. No wonder Minseok lets him drive all the time, he couldn’t hurt a fly at the speed he’s going.

“Would you step on it? I need to get back and catch up on Game of Thrones.”

“Shut it, Bacon.”

When they arrive at the hospital, something dawns on Baekhyun. Jongdae might very well be there. He might, in fact, be the one that takes off his stitches since he was the one who put them in in the first place.

“What are you waiting for?” Luhan asks as he steps out of the car and waits for Baekhyun to move.

“What if… What if he’s there?”

“Who– Oh. Him.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you just take the chance to talk to him. Didn’t you say he hasn’t been answering your calls?”

“Yeah, but–“

“It’s the perfect set up! He can’t escape here, he can’t just leave his workplace.”

“You sound like I’m about to kidnap him or something.”

“Wouldn’t you like that.”

He starts moving and follows Luhan inside the hospital, into the reception. The nurse there indicates where they should go and Baekhyun just tells Luhan to stay in the waiting room. “I don’t need a chaperone, Lu. I’ll be right back.” He waves to his friend.

Luhan gives him a small smile, a sign of support that’s like a silent ‘Go Baekhyun!’ that makes his stomach churn. God, why is Luhan so nice, it makes it hard for Baekhyun to conserve the shreds of that initial hate.

“Mr. Byun, I’m Dr. Williamson, I’ll be taking out your stitches today.” He’s greeted by a tall blond man inside the room. There’s a gurney and the doctor pats it, signaling Baekhyun to get on it. “This will be very quick.”

Baekhyun jumps on the thing, pulling his shirt up and his pants down just enough to see the incision site. “Is Dr. Kim not working today?”

“Which Dr. Kim? Jongdae?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, he told me you were his friend. He had other patients to attend to, but don’t worry, I’m just as good as him.”

Baekhyun nearly snorts but swallows the feeling since he doesn’t want to be rude. He’s heard about this guy, Williamson. Always second to Jongdae and aching to be better than him. 

When the doctor puts on his gloves and starts examining the incision site, Baekhyun gets jittery. “Will this hurt?”

“Not a bit,” he answers as he pulls a knot and the thread comes off in a second.

He’s sent home with instructions to take it slow but to get back to his regular lifestyle and diet. Baekhyun thanks him before stepping outside the room and bumping into someone face first. 

“,” he curses.

“I’m really sorry, Sir– Baekhyun?”

“Jongdae.” What are the odds? Maybe it’s fate giving him a little nudge. Or a kick, more like.

“Oh. Hey. I’m–“

“No, shush,” he interrupts, not wanting to waste this chance. He’s already wasted too many.

“What?” Jongdae asks, clearly confused, perhaps a bit hurt. Baekhyun will fix this.

He takes Jongdae’s shoulders and leads him to an empty hallway. He won’t let Jongdae escape this time. Jesus, I do sound like a kidnapper, he thinks.

“Listen, Jongdae–“

“Baekhyun, I really need to go–“

“No! You need to listen to me! I don’t know why I let you leave that night at Kyungsoo’s but there’s something I need to tell you!”

Jongdae drops his head and stares at the floor. He’s clutching some charts on his hand so hard, his fingers turn white.

“I’ve been trying to remember. I’ve been trying, but– I can’t! I can’t remember what I said. I wish I could, I wish I hadn’t hurt you the way I did, but I never meant to. I would never intentionally hurt you, Jongdae.”

“Look, can we talk about this another time?” Jongdae says as he fidgets. Maybe he really does have somewhere to go. But! It can wait!

“No!” Baekhyun pushes Jongdae against the wall, surprising Jongdae even further. They’re so close Baekhyun can feel Jongdae’s breath on his face. “No. You’ve been dodging my calls, so this is my only shot. I don’t remember what I said, but I do know what it might be.” He takes a deep breath before locking eyes with his friend. “I really like you. Like, really, really like you. Love you, even. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I’m sorry it had to happen this way, but–“ He’s interrupted by lips on his own. There are lips on his lips. Jongdae is kissing him. Jongdae is kissing him with his lips.

“Shut up. Stop talking.”

Baekhyun grins before he grabs the back of Jongdae’s neck and pushes their mouths together. God, Jongdae’s such a good kisser, why didn’t he do this sooner?

“Luhan–“

“Don’t talk about Luhan while I’m kissing you, you .”

“He’s… waiting… out there…for me,” Baekhyun informs between kisses.

“Let him wait.”

They lock lips for a few minutes, Baekhyun running his hands through Jongdae’s hair and Jongdae pushing him towards him with his hands on Baekhyun’s hips. He’s about to roll his hips when he realizes they are in a hospital. In public. “.”

“Not here,” Jongdae says with a chuckle and Baekhyun tries not to blush. He fails. “God, I really do need to go somewhere, though. Damn it.”

Baekhyun fixes Jongdae’s hair, making sure not a strand is out of place, and kisses him once more on the lips. “Go.”

Jongdae picks up the charts he dropped to the floor at some point, and looks at Baekhyun, smirking as he punches Baekhyun softly in the stomach. “You’re all better now, I hope.”

“Tip top shape,” Baekhyun groans as he slightly clutches his only mildly sensitive abdomen. “Wanna come over for dinner?”

“I hear you’re finishing Game of Thrones? Maybe we can watch it together while I whisper spoilers right before the scenes happen.”

“Same ol’, same ol’.”

Jongdae laughs, and boy did he miss that sound. “It’s a date.”

“I’ll be there.”

Jongdae starts walking, fast, eyes going back to the charts in his hands, when a thought occurs to Baekhyun. “Wait, how did you know what I was watching?”

Jongdae’s too far away to hear him, but he thinks he’ll have to interrogate Minseok on his doings later today.

-

“Is that the last one?” Minseok asks as he takes the box Baekhyun was holding and puts it on top of the kitchen counter.

“Last one,” Baekhyun answers, attempting to catch his breath. “, I’m out of shape.”

“You carried three boxes, all filled with towels,” Luhan argues as he drops the box he was holding with a thud. 

“He’s convalescent, leave him alone,” Jongdae fights back as he enters with more boxes.

“It’s been two months!” Luhan replies.

“Why do you have so many towels?” Baekhyun adds.

“Shut it, all of you. The pizza should be here any minute so I need you to help me find the plates and the napkins,” Minseok orders and everyone starts moving about.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo arrive right after, carrying the dressers they had brought over in Chanyeol’s pick up truck.

“What took you guys so long?”

“This moron got lost on the way over,” Kyungsoo explains. “He’s probably the only person on this planet who gets lost even when the GPS is telling you where to go.”

“Hey! The maps were outdated!” Chanyeol tells him. 

When the food arrives, they all gather up in the living room and eat in front of the TV. Chatter fills up the air and Baekhyun can’t help but put his head on Jongdae’s bony shoulder, soaking up his warmth.

They go back home late at night, holding off on kissing but failing once they reach the elevator. 

Baekhyun’s mind is reeling with happiness. He can’t believe he was stupid enough to hold off for so many years. He feels Jongdae’s kisses on his mouth, his cheek, his neck, and they are so sweet, so full of love, it makes Baekhyun feel a little drunk.

As they fall into bed, tired from a day of helping their friends, they snuggle between the sheets and Baekhyun falls asleep to the sound of Jongdae’s breathing.

He can definitely get used to this living alone thing. Maybe he won’t be alone for much longer, anyway.