The beginning of the end starts with heated argument between two government officials. Two grown men can't learn how to share their toys or just be rational because too much testosterone is filling the room. They fight and they fight and then one of them leaves with words filled with hate and malice and the before they can expect it, he comes back. Except not the way anyone wanted him to. He comes back with death, pain, and fear.

     The rebellion has begun.

     No sane human has any willing desire to step in between these two officials. And anyone that does is either dead or dead inside. There is no escape from this hell.

     The war between the government and the rebels goes on for one year before both sides that to run out of soldiers. Too many wars and assassinations on both sides leaves the leaders with the need for more dogs which they pull from the citizens just trying to live without thinking about what's happening outside their door.

     The government puts every able body's name into a huge bin and pulls out twenty-five names each day. The rebels, not having the privileges that the government does, steals any one off the street, hands them a weapon, and commands them to fight. This is the war that starts even more wars. A war that is a never ending war. A war that starts with two angry men and a war that ends with two angry men and millions dead.

     Jongin watches the screen with fear in his veins, hoping, no, praying that the next name called won't be his or Kyungsoo's. It's been six months that they've started pulling names and the two of them have been lucky enough to escape the draft every day at five PM sharp. He hears the names of their friends and can only wish them the best and hope for a safe return, even though everyone knows that once your name is pulled, it's only death and suffering from then on.

     “Oh Sehun,” the man on the television says, reaching into the pot for the next name like he hasn't just handed the boy a noose. Jongin closes his eyes, trying hard not to let feelings get the best of him. He and Sehun had been friends since he can remember. They'd grown up together on the same street, sat next to each other in the same class. Now he can only wait until the deceased list with Sehun's name on it make its way onto their television at ten PM. He just hopes that he sees it under the KIA and not the MIA. One letter short of relief and sorrow. At least when someone is killed, their friends and family have closure that their loved one isn't still flitting around the battlefields, either as a runaway or a prisoner. Jongin isn't sure which punishment is worse.

     The names are called off until the last one is read and the program shuts off. Jongin gets up from the couch and over to his phone where he calls Sehun. The other is quiet and Jongin imagines he's letting the idea of death sink in.

     “Come back safe, all right?” Jongin says before he hangs up. Sehun only laughs before he hears the end tone.

     Kyungsoo comes home them, some bags in his hand. Jongin takes a few of them, following him to the kitchen where he places it down on the counter and leans against it.

     “Anyone we know?” Kyungsoo asks, starting to unpack the food. He doesn't have to explain any more. It's the only thing on their minds anymore.

     “Sehun,” Jongin chokes and Kyungsoo freezes.

     “Jongin,” he whispers, walking over and placing his hands on Jongin's face, “I'm so sorry,” he says and pulls Jongin into a hug where he his back and lets Jongin let out the tears that had been threatening to fall ever since Sehun's name had been called.

     “We have to stay positive, all right?” Kyungsoo says, pulling back and wiping away the tear stains. “We have to hope that Sehun is one of the lucky ones.”

     Jongin nods, though in both of their minds, they're already saying their goodbyes to their friend and wondering what they'll wear at the funeral when the body comes back....if the body comes back.

-

     It's another week into the drafts and neither of their names have been called yet. Jongin is relieved, though he knows that could all change soon. Either they get called from the draft or kidnapped and forced to fight. Both seem just as bad.

     He's heard Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Zitao's name called and seen Jongdae, Joonmyeon, and Yifan's names scroll one the KIA list at night. He cries for them and just hopes that their Creator is kind enough to keep him and Kyungsoo off those lists. He hasn't heard from Yixing, Luhan, or Minseok in a while and he can only assume the worse for them.

     He wants to run. Wants to take Kyungsoo's hand and run for miles and miles until the news broadcasts and war can't reach them. He wants this ridiculous war to be done with. He wants it to never start. He wants two fully grown men who can put on underwear and tie their shoes to grow up and come to a compromise instead of taking good, innocent men into war and killing them. It isn't fair he repeats whenever he recognizes a name. We didn't ask for this. We don't have anything to do with this. So why is it that we're dying for something we have no control over?

     He holds Kyungsoo close that night and makes love to him with a bad feeling on the inside of him.

-

     They call Kyungsoo's name when they're both watching it one evening. Jongin can feel his blood run cold and he quickly grabs the remote and shuts off the television.

     “Jongin-”

     “If we pretend we never heard it, then they can't take you away.”

     “It doesn't work like that, and you know it. They'll send me a letter, and if I don't respond to it, then they'll send men to our door, and if I don't respond to that, I'll be shot on sight.”

     “Then we'll run.”

     “Run where, Jongin?” Kyungsoo laughs, taking the others hand. “They'll find me. They'll find us both. We can run, Jongin, but we'll never be able to hide.”

     “Then we won't stop running-”

     “Jongin, stop. We both knew this day would come. Our luck couldn't last forever.”

     Jongin can feel tears start to swell and he tries to push them back by wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “This isn't fair,” he whispers hoarsly. “You've done nothing to deserve this.”

     “I know,” Kyungsoo humors, rubbing his thumb over the others hand. “I know, Jongin.”

-

     Jongin can't sleep that night. He wakes up in the early hours of the morning to try and find something to help him sleep, but nothing works. It's all too much and it isn't fair that he can't do anything to stop it. Kyungsoo hasn't even left yet, still sleeping soundly in their room, and already it feels like a cold and lifeless home.

     “It's not fair,” Jongin whispers to himself, holding his head in his hands as he sits on a still at their counter. “It's not ing fair,” he whispers, louder this time as his hands scrunch up and face becomes hot with rage. “It isn't ing fair!” he screams, standing up. The stool crashes to the floor and he swings his arms across the counter, wiping it all off.

     “It's not our goddamn war!” He's throwing things left and right, kicking miscellaneous items over and punching walls while he screams profanities to immature government leaders who sit back and watch as thousands of people die in their name. He knows they can't hear. He knows even if they could hear it, they wouldn't change their mind. He knows all of this, yet he still hopes that maybe, just maybe, they don't actually need Kyungsoo. He hopes that maybe this is all a bad dream and that maybe he'll wake up in a war where Sehun, Chanyeol, Jongdae, and everyone else aren't out of the battle front and Kyungsoo is sleeping soundly in his arms.

     But this isn't that world and life isn't that fair.

     Kyungsoo comes rushing in with panic in his face. He grabs Jongin, the other thrashing around before going limp and falling into Kyungsoo. The older lets them both slip down the wall, whispering anything and everything into Jongin's ear. It doesn't work.

-

     The next morning, they leave to the train stop where Kyungsoo has to ride the train to the battlefield and start basic training that lasts a week. Jongin wants to laugh at how cruel it all is. They wonder why their soldiers die so quickly and then only spend a dollar on weapons, armor and training.

     Jongin is holding Kyungsoo's hand tightly, refusing to let go even when the conductor announces that it will be leaving in three minutes. His eyes are swollen and red and puffy and he doesn't think he's had more than five hours of sleep. But who knows. Everything has been a blur to him since Kyungsoo's name was called.

     Kyungsoo gives a weak smile, trying to appear strong, but Jongin can see the fear hiding behind his eyes. It makes him want to cry more.

     “Well, this is me,” Kyungsoo whispers, easing his hand out of Jongin's death grip.

     “It doesn't have to be,” Jongin whispers back and Kyungsoo only gives a compassionate look with a sad base.

     “Yes it does, Jongin. Even if I get out of this, your name is still in there. It's only a matter of time before its called as well.”

     “Wait for me?” Jongin asks, looking at the other in the eyes. Kyungsoo nods, though they know that it's a rare thing to be put in the same platoon, let alone the same base camp.

     Jongin takes Kyungsoo's hand again, bringing it up to his mouth where he presses it into his lips and closes his eyes as tears slip through it. “I love you so much, Soo,” he whispers into it. “So much.”

     “I know, Jongin. I love you, too,” he replies. “You have to come back safe and in one piece, all right?” Jongin asks, never opening his eyes.

     “Of course.” They both know it's a lie. A lie that some how brings comfort to Jongin.

     “ALL ABOARD!” the conductor calls and Kyungsoo slips out of Jongin's grasp. “I have to go,” he says. Jongin grabs him and smahses their lips together, trying to remember as much of Kyungsoo as he can before he says his final goodbye. He knows this is the last time they'll ever see each other in this lifetime, but he can only hope that maybe luck is with them and that maybe they will see each other in another.

-

     A month later, Jongin's name still isn't called, but the war does finally end. It ends the day after Kyungsoo and Sehun's names roll across the KIA list.

a/n: so basically an angsty one-shot that i wrote to try and break my writer's block because i've been really bad at updating doll house my bad and this is what it is. Wow. So much angst.

Uh, basically based off of the Vietnam conflict and stuff so....yolo