“Success comes at a price; freedom and possibly happiness too.” Prologue The cold of winter hits me as I step out of the studio in the short sequinned minidress I was just filming in, wrapped in nothing but a furry shawl that barely reached the middle of my thighs. I can feel my eyes watering, the amount of makeup piled on top of my sensitive eyes was ridiculous. On top of all that, the absolutely freezing winter wind was lapping at my bare legs, nipping at my barely covered feet and threatening to seep through my pathetic excuse of a cover up. Now my nose could probably rival Rudolph's redness. I grumble at Minseok, who has his arm around me for support, as I half stumble half click my way to the van. I swear he does this on purpose, parking a block away from the shoot location and making me squeeze through masses of paparazzi and fans with security flanking either side of me. Whether it's to obtain more press coverage or to make me suffer for the ridiculous schedule he set up for me in the first place, I don't know. All I know it that I have to smile, wave and generally look like I'm not freezing to death; my nose probably says otherwise. I'd really appreciate a pair of my Karen Walkers' to shade my eyes from the blinding flashes of cameras right about now, but no, I have to expose everything until I get into the van and go through a quick wardrobe change for the nightclub promotions tonight. I pull the furry shawl (god knows what poor animal gave their live up for) closer and make the final steps towards the van.

The sleek black door opens and I see my assistant Tiffany, beaming brightly at me. I smile back, relieved to see her. I almost snort when I see her being pelted by a few bags and plushies the fans are so eager to give me. With one final stride and a leg up, I'm inside the van. I'm warm now, a fluffy blanket over my legs, feet no longer in those strappy heels for they were exchanged with a pair of soft UGG boots and a steaming cup of caramel affogato in my hands. I'm beginning to feel my fingers and toes again. "Oh my God, did you see your fans hurl those things at me?! I know they love you and all, but I swear, they could be like shot-putters or something. You feel me? Look at my nose! It's been flattened to a pancake!" Tiffany wailed. I laughed and reassured her that her recently done nose was fine and still as high as ever. She rolled her eyes, newly done as well, the double eyelids had dramatically doubled in size ever since she started dating Nickhun from 2PM. Who knew a coordi could manage to tame such a beast of an idol? Tiffany did. "Ugh, who the hell did your makeup? It looks terribad. Like, you look good in everything, but seriously who the hell puts fuchsia and baby blue together? WHOOOO?" she winced as she attacked my face with cotton pads drenched in makeup remover. Too tired to move anything but my eyes and breathe, I somehow manage to convey a 'I don't know' with only a slight twitch of my lips only Tiffany understood. She nodded before forcing some coloured contacts into my eyes all while mumbling something about how my sensitive eyes rejected all kinds of products and contact lenses. She then continues to apply makeup familiar to me all over my eyes.

We finally make it to the nightclub. Nothing's new, I get photographed entering Lust and then it's the same old pumping of music, sweaty bodies grinding against another, drinks being downed at scarily fast pace and strangers hooking up already; it had just turned dark. Even though I was dead tired from all the photoshoots and filming a new drama, my body knew I needed booze to stop thinking about him. Every time I think I'm over him, I see him with a different woman each time and I forget all over again. I was this busy but he still managed to slip into my head and I still thought that it was him I was kissing each time I h