Kyungsoo sits in the sidewalk, all hope gone from his face.  He was slowly trudging his way back to the main road when two shining lights blinded his gaze.  He immediately shuffles to the sidewalk again as the other car proceeds in the lonely street, his tears flowing continuously, like rain on a stormy evening.  Kyungsoo steps on the bus as it arrives; giving one last look to what he thought was his heaven on this earth.

Jongin, lost in despair, drives back sullenly to their house and thinks of renting an apartment.  The memories are still raw, the hurt still there.

As he turns to the corner of what he thought was once his paradise, he catches sight of a familiar figure.

He stops abruptly, but quite late, the headlights left open. 

“Hey, are you trying to get someone killed or something?”  A person outside shouts as Jongin catches his breath, his knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel tight.  The person knocks on Jongin’s window and stops only when Jongin rolled the window down.

“Look, I’m sorry-“ he stops when he catches sight of who he was talking to.

“Jongin hyung, is that you?”  The other person says with the trademark lisp.

“Se-Oh Sehun?”  Jongin squints and recognizes the same stoic face, the same small eyes and thin lips.  He smiles despite the situation, happy to see someone.  He almost breaks down, then almost laughs at the same time but prevents himself from doing so.

“Yeah, hyung.  What are you doing here?”  That is when Jongin realizes he has turned some blocks early and ended up in another neighborhood: apparently that of Sehun’s.  Jongin gulps hard and shakes his head.

“N-Nothing, Hun.  Why are you out this late, anyway?”  He asked.

“Well, hyung,” the younger talks as he scratches his nape sheepishly, “I was here because I was about to have a drink.”  He nods, biting his cheeks.

“Well hop on, take me with you.”  Jongin says, nodding his head to the empty passenger’s seat.

The younger thanks Jongin and enters the car, sitting on something.  He takes it out and looks at it questioningly.

“Hyung, why is there a key here?”  Sehun asks.  Jongin looks at it, grabs it forcefully and throws it on the backseat, the flat metal bouncing just once before resting there.  He starts the car, revs it once, and looks at Sehun.

“So where do we go now?”

They stop in front of a pub that is just halfway from where both live, the headlights boring through the thin glass of the place.  They get in, order a drink and get settled in.

“So, hyung.”  Sehun starts as he downs one glass of tequila in one sitting.  “What happened?”

Jongin starts from the beginning, drinking more as the story proceeds to its .  When the latest of events has happened, his head was hurting from all the drinks he had swallowed and the realization stark and like a cold bucket of water washing over him:  Kyungsoo was gone, maybe always.  Maybe even forever, even though the latter did not believe in forever.  Jongin clutches his head, eyes watering.

“I’m so ing stupid, Sehun.  So ing stupid to let him go.”  Jongin says, crying now.  “He was the nearest to the love I’ve always wanted, always needed, and I decided to everything up and let him go.”  He drinks another, then another, while his companion was still sober from drinking two tequilas and passing on everything.  The table rambles as Jongin’s fist crashes on it, the glasses clinking against each other.  He does it again and again, pain settling on his hand but not enough to stop the bleeding of his heart.  He stomps, drinks, crashes his whole palm on the table, everything- he hurts himself physically but nothing can stop the pain settling in his heart.

“Hyung… calm down please-“  Sehun starts but Jongin does not hear anything.  He continues his attack on the poor table, even standing up until the younger harshly pushes him down to sitting position to settle Jongin.  Everybody was looking at them now and Sehun mutters apologies as he sits in front of his hyung.

“I practically gave him to that motherer.  Why did this happen to me, Sehun? Why?”  Jongin shouts. 

“Maybe that- he just wasn’t for you, Hyung.  Maybe someone else was meant for your love.”  Sehun says, bracing himself for another explosion from a drunk Jongin.  Instead he finds his friend sobbing now, downing in drink after drink after drink, finishing the fifth soju bottle they’ve ordered that evening.  Jongin himself believed in the temporary power of alcohol in the memories of a person.

“Who the is Kyungsoo then?  Just another person crossing my life?  Just another of the ed up cycle of life?  What the hell, Sehun, I’m so ing tired of loving.  I’ve given my all to Kyungsoo and now that he’s gone I’m in a hole again.  this.”  He said as he ordered another bottle, his throat on fire but his soul cold.

“Hyung, maybe you should go home an-“  Sehun’s sentence was cut off by a bitter laugh from his hyung.

“Home?  Where should I go, back to that house?  I don’t even have a home anymore, Sehun.  I only have a house and it’s so- so hard to see that standing while my heart is crumbling into ing pieces I can’t even tape it together.”  His words were slightly slurring now.  Sehun stood and pulled Jongin up.

“Hyung, you’ve had too much.  I can let you crash in my house but let’s go now.”  He said.   Jongin stood up and dragged his feet, swaying from side to side as the effects of the alcohol started. 

That’s when another problem of Kim Jongin surfaced.

His work became sloppy and he reasoned that he was just tired, that there was nothing to worry about.  But his company knew more and soon they were urging Jongin to file an application for leave.  The first time he heard the plea, he simply shrugged and continued his work.  The second time, he became irritated.  The third, he sighed and filed it first thing the next day. 

He decides to move in with