Guilt. Shame. Pity. Confusion. 

Those are emotions that one gets when confessed to and the feelings are not reciprocated. Lee Taemin however does not show. Ever. He just runs away. 
"Oppa... I know you might not know me well... But could you maybe go on a date with me once?" a pitiful girl asks with hopeful eyes. 
But alas she was turned down in one of the most embarrassing ways. Ignored. Forgotten. Despair. Emotions overflowing... Tears lingering in the corners of her eyes. He only vacuous. 
To him, escaping was easier. Emotions were to complicated. High school was not a place for them... Not at all. Academic stress was too predominant and stakes were too high. Then again. When was emotions ever good with adolescents like him?

Did he not notice the whispers that seemed to brood over the conversation? Of course not. Yet he didn't pay attention. He knew the outcome... the effects this situation would have on the girl but he didn't feel like he was obligated to have empathy. He could take her away into a secluded corner but he might as well use this as a warning. Yes a warning. To not waste their very limited time frolicking and worrying about their human emotions. 

Heading home was paradise. Home was not school. Home was home and that means relaxation. Stepping into the house means family. Family means emotion. Because calculation wise, it is safe. Sturdy. Uncompromising. The acceptable time to feel.

"Hey mom! How was your day today?" a voice echoes into the house. A total 180 degree change in attitude. Cheeks heightened and eyes crinkled. There was a certain sparkle in his eyes. 

An equally cheerful mom answers back with the typical response of "everything's fine with business" answer. Family is stable. 
"Oh! By the way, we need to go to an dinner with Kim corporations this weekend so keep yourself free!" the mother called as her son headed for his room. Taemin just yelled back in acknowledgement. 
Family is also luxury with their company dominating the business world. School uniforms only handstiched and ties made out of pure silk. Fed with cuisine made by private award winning chefs. Only the most modern technology decorating the elegant house. Comfort was plentiful and there was really no need for strife

Life as a child was easy-going. Love. He had enough of it from his family. Kisses when boo boos were obtained and attendance at all big school events and award ceremonies. Coming home to find a complete family. A mother, father and older brother. And he loved back fully. Beautifully. Laughs were always exchanged at dinners yet stories from school were absent. Movie nights with bodies snuggled together and blankets enveloping their bodies. The TV illuminating their faces and the smell of butter lingering the air and their mouths. There were times of fights and tears yet a mother's hand was never far from petting her sons' heads. Jinki, his brother, was always there to help with school hours. Willing to spend grueling hours into the night to make sure his younger brother knew the quadratic formula like the back of his hand. Becaused they loved.

There were so many emotions with his family that he loved. 

Yet away from the family was emotionless. The same love he would feel ten minutes prior would be absent in the presence of the 600 other kids his age. The heirarchy of the grade levels, pointless gossip floating in the air, the jealousy and aggressiveness of the student body choking him up. Stress and anxiety causing friends to trample each other to become the best. Relationships are so easily gained as they are loss with empty words filling the spaces where pointless lust could not. No. This was not the same comfort as home. School does not have the capability to harbor these pure feelings. Locking up children in high walls forcing interactions more than 12 hours a day. 

But it is school. And it is not safe.

The next day went as usual. However instead of going straight to his classroom, Taemin took a detour to a certain girl's locker and left something there. He then went straight to his classroom to sit next to Yeon. A lotus. The girl who wears much too much makeup, is always smiling and has no friends. A contradiction. Every once in a while she has these patches of discoloration on her skin... Probably from the excess use of makeup he thought. Her appearance always neat and tidy with just a few strands of hair out of place. She was almost always first into the classroom, sitting in the spot next to his seat, smiling. Just like the girls who enjoy being here, surrounded by the superficiality that is school. The place he can't wait to escape from. 

There was never interaction between the two. It was simply he was 1st in academic ranking and she was second. She was intelligent, he would give her that. That's why he was quite satisfied to be paired up with her for this next project. Very convenient. 
However once the teacher left the room, disturbing talks were going around the class.

"What the heck?! Why are those two put together? That's like a guaranteed A!"
"Shiet! I was hoping to get picked with Yeon.. You know how she does all the work right! That's what got me the A last time."

Upon hearing the last comment, Taemin turned towards Yeon to see her reaction to the slightly louder than appropriate comment but the girl looked unfazed. She just stayed with that same smile taped across her face. Cheeks hoisted up and eyes crinkled. A different look in her eye. 

Somehow confused as to her reaction as most typical females would have started their passive aggressive battles of glares and plots of revenge. This girl however kept quiet with that same smile. There was no reaction at all. Did this girl not care at all about her pride of her own work? Or was she that dense that she would rather just "avoid" confrontation to "keep the peace" as all the spineless girls in this school does? Taemin would and could not understand. And for some odd reason, it enraged him. Emotion bubbling.

A figure stood up abruptly, ending whispers across the room.

How annoying. 

Hey guys! Sorry I wasn't able to update last week but we finally get to see more into Taemin's life! Please subscribe and comment if you liked this chapter because it really means a lot to me to know that people enjoy my writing! I make sure to reply to every comment too!

Thank you! 

P.S- I try to update once during the weekend every week but sometimes due to busy schedules I might not be able to...