Chapter 1: hi..i found you through the ad shop too
thank you for reading my story ^^
your story is good but i agree with skittebony and Elliryanna comments ^^
keep up the good work :D

Chapter 1: It's good so far but please be careful of pronoun use. You jumped from her to me when describing from the same person and first person perspective all in one sentence. But other than that, I look forward for an update on this story :D

Hello chinggu-ah. You asked me to do a review yesterday so here it is.

I’ve read the first two chapters of your story and here’s my review of it so far: first off, I don’t know if English is your first language or not but so far the grammar is good (I’m very particular with grammar, LOL TuT) –anyway, I understand this is your first story and with only two chapters there’s really not much to review. Basing on the foreword, the story’s gonna be filled with drama and angst.

You could’ve just combined chapter one and two into one chapter, really. Long chapters are thumbs up. I noticed how you write in detail and that’s good factor. But remember that if it’s just useless detail, you can leave it out. As for the character, she seems like one of those really well-off characters, a close to perfect type with all the wealth but lacks the family-love factor… she sounds close to perfect so as I think that should be toned down a bit. Remember that the more realistic the story feels the better (unless its fantasy based but that’s another matter)
Like I said, there’s not much to review yet really. Try to use different terms for words, your grammar is good so keep going until it gets better and better, you’ve got a lot of potential for improvement so keep writing :)