(Request from ukk0345)

The TV blares in the other room as you stand in front of the mirror.  You look at your reflection making a mental checklist of your primping.  Eyeliner, check.  Mascara, check.  Eye shadow, check.  Blush, check.  Lip gloss…  Where was your lip gloss?  You search the very cluttered counter for your bright pink lip gloss that he bought for you.  It was nothing special.  Just a cheap brand that he got you for Valentine’s Day last month because you didn’t have an actual boyfriend to give you anything.  (And you still don’t have one.)  He also gave you a small container of chocolates.  When you asked him why, he said, “Neither of us have anyone to celebrate with, right, so why don’t we celebrate our singleness together?” 

You smile at the memory.  You two have been friends for over a year, but nothing more ever came of it.  You knew that he wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend because of his singing career, but that didn’t stop your growing desire for him.

You push around the cosmetics covering your bathroom counter, searching for the tiny tube.  Ever since that day, you’ve been wearing that lip gloss every time you saw him.  He always notices, saying that the color is perfect on you.  For some reason, that line repeats itself in your head as, “You look perfect.”  But you always push this thought to the back of your mind, respecting the rules of his company.

You find your treasure in the bottom of your makeup bag and apply it with precise skill, making your lips look fuller and kissable.

You’ve been primping for an outing with Dongwoon.  He asked you to meet him at the studio after practice at 10 pm and the two of you were going to go somewhere (He wouldn’t tell you where).  He said there was something that he wanted to show you.  He’s never done anything like this before so your curiosity is peaked.

After one last gaze in the mirror, you deem yourself as acceptable and go into the living room.  You glance at the TV, where the news is covering various fan meets that the idol groups have.  You sit on the couch and start strapping on your high heels.

“A rather shocking event occurred yesterday at Beast’s fan meet where a fan actually kissed member Son Dongwoon on the mouth.”  You head shoots up, glaring at the TV screen.  The film shows Dongwoon sitting at the table signing away for a fan wearing a bright red shirt.  It has Dongwoon’s name written across the back in a girly handwriting with a lot of hearts and xo’s.  Dongwoon stands up and leans across the table to hug the fan.  Just as he starts to pull away the fan grabs his face and kisses him.

A heat develops in your chest as you watch his reaction.  At first, he looks shocked and backs away.  The fan looks like she is having a seizure, jumping around and stomping her feet.  She runs off with the signed picture.  Dongwoon is still standing behind the table with his hand on his mouth.  He has an unreadable expression.  After a few moments, he shakes his head a bit and sits back down.  He picks up his pen and taps it on the table a bit.  Then, he smiles.

Your heart jumps out of your chest and runs away as you sit there in utter shock.  You couldn’t believe the nerve of that fan.  How could she be so forward and forceful?  Does she not have any dignity or respect?  You can feel your temperature rising, as well as your temper.  Why should she get away with kissing him when I can’t?     

You can feel your ears turning red in anger and jealousy, but then you realize something.  Why am I getting so jealous?  It’s not like I’m his girlfriend or anything.  The public won’t think that this is a scandal.  It just looks like an obsessed fan who got a little too close.  You try to calm yourself down.  There was nothing to be jealous of.  However, the smile he had afterward bothered you.  Did he like it?  The video didn’t have an audio besides the anchors talking about the incident.  Why did he smile?

 

You stand in front of the company’s practice studio.  The air is warm, with an occasional cool breeze leaving your arms covered in goose bumps.  You look at your phone.  It’s 9:57.  Your feet start to burn slightly, due to the heels, but you ignore the pain as usual.  You start to get nervous.  You have no idea where you’re going tonight and the event from earlier keeps haunting your mind’s eye.

You pull out your compact mirror for one last check.  You look the same as you did 5 minutes ago when you last checked.  Your phone beeps your annoying yet catchy tune for a text message.  Replacing your compact in your small clutch purse, you pull out your phone and check the message.  “I will be out in a few.  I hope you’re ready for tonight J” 

You giggle, nervously.  What is that guy planning?  You reply, “Waiting outside.  Hurry up!  This better be good….. :P”  The two of you loved using emoticons in all your messages.

You try to think about how to bring up the topic of the fan meet.  You didn’t want to offend him, by accusing him of doing something wrong when it wasn’t his fault.  Yet you want him to know that it wasn’t okay.  That smile he had after the fan left; you’ve seen it many times before.  He always had that smile when he was having fun.  You two would go to the amusement park together.  That smile always managed to convince you to go on the rollercoasters despite your fear of them.  You wanted him to be happy.

“Ya!”  You turn around with a jump.  You hadn’t heard anyone coming.  Granted, you were deeply engrossed in la la land for who knows how long.  Dongwoon was standing there in casual clothes, yet he looked great in them.  However, he didn’t look like he just come out of practice.  His hair was perfect and free of sweat and his face seemed to glow.  He looked perfect.

“I’ve been calling your name for like 5 whole minutes.  What’s wrong with you?”  He asks.  Any third person viewer would see this as being mean, but to you it’s perfectly normal.  Dongwoon loved using sarcasm and never passed up an opportunity to use it.  He stood there with his hands on his hips with an arrogant look on his face.

“Sorry,” you say, over dramatically.  “I was deep in thought, contemplating the universal question of existence.”

Dongwoon stares at you for a long time before cracking a smile and laughing out loud.  He covers his face with his hand and laughs a cute laugh.  You break down too and laugh at your own ridiculousness. 

You go over to him and hug him.  He hugs you back and twists your bodies a bit.  He pulls away and holds you at arm’s length.  He gives a forced serous look.  You grab his wrists and return the look.

“Are you ready for this?”  He asks.

“I don’t know.  I don’t even know where we are going.”

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

He hailed a taxi.  Your heart was beating fast and you stomach started turning.  You were nervous yet excited.  The image of the fan in red ran through your mind.  He grabbed your hand and pulled you into the back of the taxi.  You clumsily manage to get in with your heels that make everything harder.  The taxi just starts driving without instruction of where to go.

“So, Dongwoon, can I ask you something?”  The two of you are sitting very close together.  The air in the taxi is hot and suffocating, so you roll down your window.

“Yeah, what is it?”  He looks at you with a calm face, not knowing the struggle you are going through inside your heart.

“How was your fan meet a couple days ago?”  You watch for any sign of discomfort.

“It was fun as always.  It’s always the best feeling to get to meet with our fans.  It makes you feel really good about yourself.”  He smiles and looks out the window.

“Great,” you reply, weakly.  “Anything big or eventful happen?”

“Look at the moon!”  He says suddenly.  He’s pointing out the window, beckoning you to come over.  You lean over him and look at the sky.  It’s a full moon that is hanging low in the sky, slightly hidden by clouds.  It’s got an orange tint to it, making it creepy looking.

“Cool,” you say.  You go back over to your side.  You noticed that he changed the subject on purpose.  You wonder if he’s embarrassed or something.  You’re not quite sure how to continue.

“You know they put it on the news?”

“Did they?  That’s pretty cool.  I hope I looked good.  Oh wait, I always look good,” he said.  You could hear the ever appearing sarcasm.  You smile, but he is still looking out the window.

“Of course, Woonie.  It showed that you were kissed by a fan.”

“We’re here.”  He starts to get out of the car.  You look around, confused.  You’d been thinking about what to say the whole time, that you didn’t even look out the window to see where you were going.  You look around now.  You’re at Namsan Tower. 

The door next to you opens and Dongwoon is holding his hand out to help you up.  You swing your legs out first, before trying to stand up.  You grab his hand and get out of the car.  You look straight up at the very tall tower.  Not many other people are around considering the late hour. 

Dongwoon pays the driver then comes back to you.  “I need to show you something.  I think you’re really going to like it.”  He grabs your hand and starts pulling you toward the tower.  You have no choice but to go along considering your unsteadiness on the heels you wore.  Okay, the heels were a bad idea.  Why does he keep avoiding the topic?

Dongwoon brings you to the gate covered with locks.  It’s the locks of love fence.  Millions of locks line the fence, bearing messages of love and promises.  Why did Dongwoon bring you here?

“Dongwoon?”  You take your hand away, just short of the fence.  He turns to you with a confused look.  “I know a fan kissed you at the fan meet.”

He looked a little guilty.  “Don’t worry about that.  She just got a little over excited and acted out of impulse.  It was no big deal.”

“No big deal?  How can you say that?  If one fan can get away with kissing you in front of cameras and the public, how many more do you think will try the same thing?  You could get sick or something.  And what was with that smile that you had after?  It looked like you liked it.  That is not good for your image.  And what about when you do get a girlfriend, she could look up this stuff about you and see on camera all these girls kissing you.  This is so a big deal.”

Dongwoon just looked at you.  His face was expressionless.  “You’re jealous,” he says, flatly.  It wasn’t a question, but a declaration. 

You were taken aback.  You didn’t think of it that way.  You just thought about how it would affect Dongwoon.  You didn’t think about how it affected you, because you weren’t interested in him.  Well, you were, you just never showed it.  However, now that you think about it, you were jealous.  The idea of another girl kissing your man made you mad.  You were planning on waiting until Dongwoon was out of his contract so the two of you could be together.

“So maybe I am.  Maybe I want to be with you, but I can’t because of the rules your stupid company has.  Why should she be allowed to kiss you when I can’t?  I’ve been waiting for a year now for you to notice that I really like you, but I never pushed it.  Why can’t I be that fan?”

Dongwoon walks up to you slowly.  He takes your hand and pulls you closer to the locks of love fence.  You look at all the locks, reading their little messages, thinking about the people who put them there. 

Dongwoon taps you on the shoulder.  You look up at him, getting a shock.  He is holding a lock in his hand with the words “I love you” written in black marker on the pink surface.  The lock is shaped like a heart.  In his other hand, he holds a key which matches it.

Your words escape your mind, leaving you totally speechless and dumbfounded.  He pulls a black marker out of his pocket.  You watch intently as it raises to his mouth, where he pulls the cap off with his teeth.  He stares at you while he turns the marker around in his hand.  He begins to write on the lock.  You wonder what he is writing, but it’s hard considering your mind was just blown sky high.  He approaches you, cap still in his teeth and hands you the lock.  You look down at it.  He has written his name on it.  He hands you the marker.  Without thinking twice, you write your name.

He takes the key and unlocks the lock.  You look at it, feeling the weight of the metal in your palm.  You look back up at Dongwoon.  He points to an empty section of the fence.  Together you place the lock in that area and snap it closed.  Dongwoon pulls you close and shows you the key.  It’s on a thin chain, which he then places around your neck.

You can’t breathe, or think, or do anything in reaction to this.  He hugs you.  But it wasn’t like the hug before.  You could feel him clinging to you, like he was afraid you were going to leave him.

“I smiled, because that fan made me realize that the only person I want to share a kiss with it you.  I love you.”

He pulls away enough to see your face.  His expression is soft and loving.  Nothing like you’ve ever seen before.  And before you can appreciate his features, he kisses you.