I saw the first signal of change over the summer when someone moved into Sunyoung's house. 

     I'd known Sunyoung for a long time, and she lived just down the street from me with her mother, on the cul-de-sac where we rode our bikes together as kids. I liked Sunyoung but we'd never been close enough to call each other best friends. We spent less time together as we grew older. There had always been a crack between us in our friendship, but slowly it grew to a crevice around our adolescent years. It widened into a chasm when we started high school, even though we were both in the same year. It was safe to say that we didn't talk much now. Oh, I'd see her coming out of her house in the mornings to go to school, and I'd wave or call out to her in greeting, and she'd smile and answer in the same manner. But neither of us went out of our ways to hang out, or study together, or have a sleepover.

     So while I was curious that June morning when I saw them out my window, and realized that instead of seeing two figures get out of the car, I saw three, I didn't think much of it. Maybe she just had her cousin or her friend over. I shrugged and went back to whatever I was doing previously that day.

     My life in the summer before fourth year didn't consist of much. I didn't travel, I didn't hang out with many friends, I didn't party. I babysat some, I slept in late, I saw my sister a little. I loved it when she visited because she was always so busy. She was somewhat of a workaholic, but I supposed that was because she truly loved her job. I squealed over boy bands, and I watched dramas. I did the school work that had to be done over the summer. Everything was similar of the summer before, and two summers ago, and most summers I'd lived through. I didn't think about change. I liked change- but only when I planned for it and it was a personal decision. I didn't like surprises, good or bad. And I didn't think there was any need for anything to be different- why, when I was content like this? It was only until afterwards that I realized how precious this year was to me in my life, the year I subconsciously transformed. It was bittersweet, but I'd never regret it either.

     The second sign of change was a lot more obvious. A package came for me in the mail in late July. It arrived on the doorstep in the afternoon, and I only saw it when I stepped outside for the first time that day to get the mail. It wasn't in a box, but something wrapped in study brown paper and taped up firmly. This wasn't uncommon- my mother liked to order things off the internet a lot- but what was odd was that it had my name on it: 정수정. I frowned, picked it up, and brought it inside, quite forgetting about the mail.

     "Mom?" I called upstairs, setting it down on the table. Had she ordered something for me? That seemed unlikely. She usually bought furniture and cutlery and paintings; not personal things for me.

     "Yes, dear?" My mom poked her head out of her office. Like me, she had work over the summer. Unlike me, though, there were no breaks for her. Her job was perpetual. I pretended not to notice the slight bags under her eyes.

     "There's a package for me. Did you get me clothes?"

     "Oh!" Her eyes lit with understanding and she disappeared for a second before coming down the stairs. "Yes, I got you a new school uniform for fourth year."

     "Why?" I was confused. Why would she get me a new uniform? I had a perfectly good one already that I'd been using since I was in first year, and it was looked relatively nice and clean because my mother insisted on washing it frequently. I followed my mom to the kitchen, where she was already cutting away the paper to reveal an identical uniform to the one I owned already, wrapped in plastic.

     "Wow, it looks so nice," my mom said in admiration, then cut off the surrounding plastic. She held the skirt up to my waist (I squirmed away a little- I was ticklish). "It's so pretty! It's going to look so pretty on you!" she exclaimed happily.

     "But Mom, why did you get me a new uniform?" I interrupted, not ungrateful, just perplexed. "I don't need a new one, right? They haven't changed them this year. They said they were still working on a new design, and if the uniform even was going to be upgraded at all, it'd take a few years and a lot of fundraising."

     My mom lay down the new and unnecessary white shirt and plaid skirt on the table and smoothed out the wrinkles, still enamored, as if she were the student who would wear it. "You have a new one because you've grown a lot over the summer. You were a late bloomer, just like your older sister was. I remember when I could hold you with one arm, but now suddenly I have to stretch my neck to look you in the eyes." I thought for sure the waterworks were going to start then, but my mother only sighed with reminiscence, and added, "Plus, it's your last year. You should make the best of everything for your last year of high school. I want you to have the best of everything so you can look back with fondness on your memories. Okay? Just think of this as a back-to-school gift."

     I had noticed that I now looked down on my mother, but it hadn't registered in my mind consciously that it was because I was growing. I used to be 163 cm, the same height as my older sister, but now that I thought about it, when I had seen her this summer, she had seemed shorter than usual. Belatedly, I realized my mother was right and it was me who was getting taller.

     "Thank you, Mom," I said, truly thankful. "You didn't have to do that for me."

     "Nonsense, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't pay attention to my own daughter's needs?" my mother said airily, waving her hand and turning around to go back to work, but I knew she was just doing so to conceal her emotions.

     I reassured her, "You're a great mother. The best."

     "I already knew that," she joked, but it sounded strained. "Oh, I'm going to miss you so much after fourth year."

     "Mom, are you going to start crying?" I couldn't handle my mom's emotional side.

     "Who said anything about crying? I'm fine," she snapped, not really mad at all.

     "Please don't be upset, Mom. When you're upset, so am I." This wasn't the truth, to be honest. I didn't like to see my mother cry, but it didn't make me unhappy on her behalf. I just wasn't skilled at comforting her like my father was, and I normally said it to halt the tears. This time, it was unsuccessful.

     "I can't help it; first my firstborn leaving the house and becoming famous and now my baby is in fourth year. My daughters have grown up so fast. I'm getting really old, aren't I?" Her voice quavered, and I knew she was near tears.

     I sighed and enveloped her in a back hug. "You're not that old. And my fourth year hasn't even started yet." Mom's shoulders shook, but she wasn't sobbing disconsolately, only tearing up and eyes spilling over a little.

     "Promise that you'll visit when you leave home."

     "I promise when I go off to college, I'll come home often to visit you and Dad. I'll cook you meals, and when I have a family, I'll bring my husband and kids too." Too late, I remembered that this wouldn't make her feel any younger, and quickly tried to remedy what I said. "Look, I really appreciate you buying me this. It'll be nice to have a brand new uniform this year. Thank you. I mean it."

     I could tell she was a little embarrassed now. She turned around and wiped her eyes. "I'm fine. I'm being ridiculous. Here, go try it on, let's see how it fits."

     If she can get worked up over something simple like this, I'm dreading graduation, I thought grimly as I walked to the bathroom. But I didn't understand until later that what my mother was saying was true, in a way. I had begun to think I was growing up slowly, much too slowly for my taste. I already had my future plotted out and I was itching to start living my dream and making my life as an adult. But that was the precise reason I was actually growing up too quickly. I wanted to be something I wasn't yet: a grown-up. I wanted to rush my fourth year so I could be like my older sister.

     I was growing up too fast, and by the time I recognized it, it was too late to stop it.

otl it took me so long to write this and it's not even that long.

okay so this is my first story. i've put others up before but then i deleted them. tbh i always start stories and then get bored with them and forget them. but hopefully i'll finish this one- we'll see.

oh um and by the way my name is taylor.

so yeah this is just the opening scene- idk how long this fic is gonna be but i have a lot of stuff planned so brace yourselves. but um also i might take some things out so it might not be super frickin long but most likely it'll still be kinda long.

im sorry that was so vague

keep in mind that i write but i've never posted anything on the internet permanently, and im writing this simply to hone my writing skills. (also cause it seemed like a good idea but yeah)

so yeah i'll be writing a lot during the summer but next school year will be really hard so not so much then.

oh and also i'll be using korean in this story. hangul, not romanization. (i aint about that romanization life). if you cant read korean well that to be you.

sorry, sorry. if what its says in korean isnt obvious, then i'll put an asterisk by it and tell you what it means in the authors note.

jsyk this is gonna be kind of a deep fic but the first chapter is the worst so if you made it through this congrats you can make it through the rest

wow this authors note is way too in long okay imma go now bye

lol is anyone even gonna read this