Jongin was sitting in his room, in darkness, with the lights switched off, and looking out the window. His eyes examined the scenery that was lying before him. Beautiful, but not right. So dark, so lonely. He didn't like it a bit, because it reminded Jongin of him. The shadow that followed him everywhere… he himself.

He stepped closer to the window and opened it with trembling hands, the chilly air making it's way in his bedroom. There was a cold wind, he could hear it and he could feel it. A thunder crossed the dark grey sky far away from the house and small raindrops started to fall from above. 

Why?

Jongin held out his hand, letting the intensifying rain soaking it, and even though it was icy, he didn't retreat it. "I hate it when it rains." he muttered to himself. He did hate the rain, he really did. The rain made him feel hatred towards the world, but firstly, towards himself.

 "But I like it."

His eyes narrowed, his teeth clenched and his hatred grew, as he brought back his hand beside himself. He was back. 

 "Something tells me you don't like when I come to keep you company."

He tried to ignore the voice, but it seemed like a rather difficult task. The voice could not be ignored. The voice was his very own.

"Something happened? Maybe you lost your tongue? Oh wait, you're just scared." The voice teased with a low chuckle. Jongin  his lips and stepped aside from the window, trying to think about anything but him. "You're not crazy, Jongin. You're not. You're absolutely normal. There's nothing wrong." He repeated. It was hard. That deep, husky voice that sounded deadly like his was laughing at him. Laughing hard and loudly.

"Stupid kid."

Jongin tried to ignore him again, but he couldn't. For how long could he bear it like that? He doesn't know.

"I want to dance in the rain. Let's go out. I want to feel the rain. I want to be soaked by the water. I want-"

"No! I hate rain, I hate it!" He yelled without thinking. His voice was deep, hoarse, seemingly echoed in the empty room and somehow reflected all his feelings. Sorrow, hatred, disgust, loneliness, madness...

"Are you sure?" That mocking tone. That- "Because I don't think you hate the rain. You love it. Deep inside you're craving for running out there. I know it."

"No, you don't! You're not right. You're never right!"

Another laugh that makes him feel scared and want to hide under his blanket like a little kid. He's scared because he knows, he knows everything coming from Kai was right. Too right to be true.

"Jongin, Jongin, Jongin...If you hate it so much, then why do I love it? Don't forget, boy, I am your deepest desires and secrets. I am everything you are. I am you."

"You are not me! You don't know me!"

Jongin lifted his trembling hands and wiped away the sweat that formed on his face. His body stepped closer to the window again, even as he tried to fight it. The raindrops fell on him, wetting his skin, his black hair and his navy blue T-shirt. The air turned colder by every passing minute and he got goosebumps. He attempted to close the window, but a force held him back.

He knew what happened. He was not the only one who had power over his body. There was still Kai. He liked calling himself Jongin's other half, his best friend, and all those awful things. Jongin felt nothing but pure hatred towards Kai, who seemed to have born out of nowhere after the death of Jongin's grandmother, from his mother’s side. He said he came to comfort the boy, but only made his life more miserable. And Jongin slowly fell in his trap, answering to him, communicating with him, making him feel alive. After a time, he did things he never imagined he would do. He was a good boy from a wealthy family and had a bright future. Kai was a rude and horrible soul, person, thing? He doesn't know for sure what Kai is, but one thing is sure, and that he's purely evil. 

That's why he locked himself inside his room and stayed there all the time. His family never told any relative about his condition, and that because they were ashamed. He would skip family reunions, having to make up a believable excuse every time.

"Leave me alone." He couldn't bring his body to move the way he wanted. He just wanted to close the window, not getting wet because it was cold, almost freezing. But he just leaned forward, for the rain to fall on him, more and more and more. "Leave me alone!"

"But that's not funny."

"This is my body, your place is not here..."

"Eyy...that really hurt. Why do you hate me so much?"

He didn't respond.

"Wait, I know. You don't like that I know everything about you, but let me tell you something. You can't do anything to harm me. I can still make you do everything I want. I have the power of controlling you."

"You don't own me."

"You think? Maybe you're a stubborn little brat who's talking back to me, but I control your body when I want and you can't do anything about it. Do you know why? Because you're nothing. A weak soul, a weak body. Everything that's yours is also mine. Your mind, your heart, your movements. Everything."

"Shut up!"

"Why would I? You can't tell me what to do. I'm stronger than you, Jongin, and I will always be. Until death and even after that. You can't get rid of me. Never. And you know, never is longer than forever."

"Shut up, Kai! Leave me!"

"You're being rude. I don't like it."

"I'm going to make you disappear!"

A loud laugh echoed in Jongin's mind, and room once again. Kai's laugh. Kai was everything Jongin wasn't. Strong, rude, omniscient....evil. Jongin felt weak and sick all of sudden. He wanted Kai away. Far away. He wanted Kai dead.

"You're not a harm to me. You should know this."

"I'll kill you!"  He yelled like a madman. Maybe he was, after all.

"You can't. I'm you. One body, one soul." His laugh reminded Jongin of Hell. 

"I-I can...If I kill myself, you're gone too...And then I'm f-free."

Jongin made a few steps backwards, finally regaining control over his body. He almost tripped over his own feet. He had his hands beside his body, fisted into balls. 

"I-I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you." It seemed easy. Just break the window and stab a shard inside his body.

"You won't. You don't have enough courage."

"I have. I can do it." He really thought he can. He was determined to finish with everything.

He threw a punch to the window which broke in many little pieces. His fist was covered in his red, warm blood as he bent down and lifted a bigger shard of glass. He placed it above his wrist, so ready to end his horrible life. His body, however, didn't move. Kai was gone, but he could not move his hand. No. Kai was right. He couldn't do it. All his determination vanished and he let go of the shard. He didn't have the courage to kill himself. A broken sob left his lips, his bloodshot eyes filled with tears.

"See? I told you. You're a coward."

And he was left alone in his own misery, crying and whimpering, feeling cold and depressed, hating himself and everyone else, blaming his grandmother for dying, blaming Kai for being born, and blaming himself for being weak. 
 
"I hate the nothing I am."

Wordcount: 1431

So, I rewrote the chapter with the hope that it's better now. 

I just hope you don't hate me and everything else. I'm still... improving my writing skills, but that's not an excuse for my horrible idea for this (at first it seemed a good idea, now it's more like: well, it can pass...somehow)

Please, feel free to comment and tell me your opinion. I accept harsh criticism.

Have a nice day (^_^)