329^th morning

 

I wake up and rub my eyes. The sun light comes through the windows. I look around and fine you there, still half a sleep beside me. I smile. I ruffle your long hair and swipe away your bang from your face. The warm sun light falls on your sleep face. Beautiful.

“I know you are here.”

“I am always here.”

And then I see tears slowly come down from your closed eyes. What happened?

You rub your eyes and wipe away the tears as you sit up and look around. And then your expression turns to blank.

“It’s cold, really.”

“Why? Can you feel it’s really warm this morning?”

You just sigh and get up from the bed. Leave me sit alone and confused. You walk to the bathroom. But freeze in front of the mirror. I tilt my head so I can see you from outside. Again that blank expression on your face again.

I get up from the bed and follow you to the bathroom. Smiling at you I walk slowly and stand behind you. I can see you staring at the glass where we put our tooth brushes. I blink and look at you. And suddenly you grab my tooth brush.

“Hey! That’s mine.”

“I know it’s yours.”

“Then why?”

“I just…. I can’t”

And there, you step your foot on the trash bin so the cover of it open. And there, you want to throw my tooth brush.

“Why you want to throw it? Don’t do that.”

And then you’re sighing.

“Yeah, I can’t do this.”

I nod and smile at you when you put my tooth brush back on its place. And then you take your own tooth brush and start to brush your teeth.

“I think I will take a shower now.”

“Ops! Sorry I will wait outside.”

I scratch the back of my neck as I walk outside the bathroom. And I can hear you close the bathroom’s door. And now I’m alone again.

Walk around the room I can see our pictures everywhere. See, we are such a happy coupe. I walk to one of our picture on the table. Both of us smiling widely and I wrap my arm around your waist. It’s our first date photo. I still remember when I asked that little kid to take our photo. But yes it’s amazing. I think that kid has talent as a photographer.

And then the bathroom’s door swing open. I see you already dress completely. You wear a black dress that I bought you. See, I know black color will suit your skin color much. I smile at you.

“I hope it’s looked pretty.”

“Yes, it’s indeed looked pretty.”

You nod and walk to the kitchen. I follow you from behind and make a bee line. You pull a box of choco crunch from kitchen counter. Then I widen my eyes.

“I thought you hate choco crunch and prefer corn flakes?”

“It’s taste better now.”

I chuckle. I know it. I know that you will like choco crunch someday better than corn flakes. I win. Then I grin.

“I know you win.”

“Yes I am.”

“The long the time passes the more I resemble you.”

Then we both smile. And our morning passed calmly.

 

348^th night

 

                I hear sobbing sound. Then I blink my eyes several times to adjust the dim light. I look at you that curling beside me under thick blanket. Then suddenly thunder sound is heard. Then I realized it’s raining hard outside. Then I look back at you.

                “Please stop.”

                “I can’t stop the rain.”

                I say softly to you. But you just hold on to the thick blanket that wrapped your body.

                “It’s really cold.”

                “I know. I know you hate storm.”

                I draw a circle move at your back to soothing you. I hope I can take your pain away.

                “Please don’t leave me.”

                “I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

                I wrap my arm around the blanket that wraps you. And then I can listen your sobbing again. Cry your heart out. It’s hurt me too.

                “I’m here honey.”

                “Just don’t go can you?”

 

366^th afternoon

 

                “I think I’m done with you now.”

                “Why?”

                You take away all of our pictures and throw it away to the trash bin.

                “What I have done?”

                “Nothing, nothing. I just can’t take it anymore.”

                And there I fall to the sofa and look at you walking around and throw away all of my stuffs inside box.

                “You just dump me?”

                “I hope you understand.”

                I ruffle my own hair and look at you frustrated. When I want to hold you, there you fall to the floor. Sit there. And crying then sobbing.

                “It has been a year.”

                You wipe your eyes messily then your make up ruined by that. You stand up in the speed of light and walk to the front door.

                “What I do wrong?”

                “Nothing Sunwoo. Nothing. And good bye.”

                There you turn your body so your back faces me. You walk out from that front door and leave me.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

There is a woman wearing black hanbok and look at the photo in front of her. Tears already dried on her face. But still the sadness can be seen through that woman’s eyes.

“Mrs. Cha it’s a year already.”

That woman nods.

“So you are really leaving that apartment now?”

Once again that woman nods.

“Yes, with all of the things inside.”

Then that woman’s eyes look at the photo in front of her once again. The photo that surrounded by lot foods around it.

Under that photo written, Cha Sunwoo 05  September 1989 – 05 September 2013.

“It’s one year already Sunwooya, one year without you.”