I edited some grammars and added some scenes.

A kiss scene . And a scene that i had never imagine to write.

p/s: not a  :p 

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‘You can’t feel anything in death. ‘    

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     You, Jung Mina was  a 21 years old girl or rather – a woman  who owned  a quite pathetic life. A sad one. If you could write your own story of your life from the very beginning,  maybe your life wouldn’t be a mess but sadly no. Fate decided to make your life a ed up one and that’s what you received. A ed up life.

 

        Being an illegitimate child, abandoned by your own so-called-parents and ended up in the trashcan were not a very good way to start a life. Luckily, a woman found you and she took you to the police station and things happened and you ended up living in an orphanage. You were 3 months old at that time.

 

         Your school life wasn’t a great one either. You’re a loner. Why?  Simple, the  students didn’t want to be the friends of an illegitimate child. They ignored you but that doesn’t bother you that much. Being invisible at the school was a big relief to you because you won’t get that much of attention but the fact that you’re parentless  just made the whole school population knew about you.

 

        Once you reached 18, you were free to go from the orphanage. Hugging your ‘mom’ , Mrs. Kim ,for the past 18 years, you promised her that you will visit there soon. Both hugging and crying, not ready to let each other go. But you assured her that with the excellent grade of yours , you will do well. With some money that she gave to you, you moved to Seoul to further your study.

 

       Being a college student and guess what? Fate decided to give you a nicer life or that what you thought. Entering a college and starting anew, lots of people befriended you. They didn’t mind that you’re parentless and an illegitimate child, they just want to be your friend. They pitied you and couldn’t imagine themselves in your shoes. They gave you help when you need it and cheered for you when you’re down and you couldn’t be more happier.

 

     Then a perfection came into your life. A perfection called Byun Baekhyun. A perfection that brought along his love to you. It was when you kept receiving letters from nowhere. Sometimes you found the letters in your math book,  in front of your room, in the mailbox, in your bag – literally the letters were everywhere. It  crept you out at first. Well who wouldn’t? But one day you received a letter saying,

 

‘Meet me at the art room tomorrow. 5:00 p.m.

 

Your B.’

 

  

~ FLASHBACK.~

 

“Should I go?” you asked your housemates , Park Yoora and Hwang Seyeon.

 

“Duh of course you should.” Yoora replied.

 

“What if the person is a murderer? What if he’s going to hurt me?”

 

“I don’t know if you just became a stupid but I don’t think  a murderer will spent his money to buy flowers, chocolates, teddy bears and stuff for you. I don’t think he’ll spend his time thinking on how to kill you because I’m sure he’s busy thinking on how to slip the letters secretly without you knowing it and I don’t think a murderer is a sweet person. He send you sweet words and cheesy letters geez, for god sake think about it. A murderer with an overly sweet pick up lines does exist ” Seyeon replied sarcastically.

 

“Seyeon got a point there. Finally a moment when she’s useful  instead of staying quiet and look like a stupid person.” Yoora teased.

 

“Hey ergh take that back! I’m not stupid.” Seyeon said.

 

“You act like a stupid when that Sehun guy is around though.”

 

“ He’s my boyfriend so shut up. I can do whatever I want around him.” Seyeon argued.

 

“Fine  whatever.”

 

“Guys stop bickering .” You sighed.

 

“Ok ok but hey you’re still going to meet him.” Yoora said.

 

“But-”

 

“No buts.” both of them replied in unison.

 

“Fine.”

 

      

        You went to the art room  and when you arrived there, you saw a too-cute-for-a-boy  person sitting at the corner of the room, playing with his fingers. You walked towards the man and you sighed in relief when you realized that the man was harmless. Heck, he looked prettier than you. E

 

 

“Hi?” you greeted him .

 

“Oh hi finally I got to meet you instead of giving letters.” He smiled sheepishly.

 

He’s too good looking for your liking.

 

“You’re the … B?”

 

“Yes. B stands for Baekhyun.” He answered sweetly.

 

“Your B oh so that means your  Baekhyun? Since when you claimed yourself mine?”

 

“Since the first moment I laid my eyes on you.”

 

~END OF FLASHBACK~

 

 

      And that’s how you ended up being his girlfriend. Being his girl is a bliss. A heaven. You never thought that Byun Baekhyun will be your other half. He’s the sweetest guy in the college and then people started to give you both a couple name. Baekmi. You laughed when you heard that.

 

     And both of you got the title as the ‘Cutest Couple’ . You rolled your eyes when you heard that. Come to think of it, you were nowhere near cute. Why bother giving the cutest couple title when only one of the pair  was the cute one?  Push that cutest couple title aside since the ‘Most Romantic couple’ suit you the best.

 

    The way he walked you to your classes, the way he treated you like a princess, calling you honey, sweetheart, princess and stuff, the way he wanted to fed you although you didn’t let him to,  the way he held your hands every time, the way he caressed your hair when he’s bored and telling you that caressing your hair was his hobby, the way he told everybody that you’re his and no one can take you from him and the way he never fail to say ‘I love you’ everyday were too romantic and sweet. Even people around you teased that  they could get diabetes just by looking at you two.

 

“Erm.. you love me?” You asked, not really care about how you answered. Baekhyun laughed.

 

“Not that sweetie although I do love you.”

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“Since we’re graduating, well.. I bought a house for us.” Baekhyun answered calmly.

 

“YOU WHAT?!”

 

“Ouch my ears hurt. Ergh I said I bought a house well actually my parents did.” Baekhyun shrugged.

 

“Wow.”

 

You made a mental note to thank them later.

 

“I know right. I was surprised too at first. They said that it’s nothing. You’re their favourite  girl after all.”

 

You grinned at him.

 

“Stop grinning. I’m still their favourite child.” Baekhyun scoffed making you laughed.

 

“How do you feel about it? About the house I mean. ” Baekhyun asked.

 

“Never better but Baek is it ok for us to live together? I mean we’re just dating not-”

 

“Married? Well yes but I see nothing’s  wrong. Besides my parents love you so much so it won’t be a problem . As long as you’re beside me, everything’s gonna be okay.” Baek replied , making you smile.

 

“Aish you’re so good with words.”

 

“Of course, I’m the Byun Baekhyun after all.” He grinned.

 Baekhyun was the type of man that every girl dreamt of.

 

Manly. Caring. Cute. Loving.

 

Named it all, Byun Baekhyun has it.

 

     He showered you with his grossly disgusting  affectionate  love. He never let you felt worthless or alone. The way he treated you was a thing that you could never dream of. He’s a perfection in your eyes. Even a single flaw of his was a perfection to you. There was some time when you thought that you’re not worthy enough for him but then, he’ll shut you up by kissing you right on the lips.

 

“It’s the easiest way to shut you up after all.” He said, grinning like an  idiot.

 

“Hey what are you doing?” Baekhyun asked as he sat beside you on the couch while drinking his coffee.

 

“Pier jump. Commit suicide.” you answered curtly, making Baekhyun choked his hot coffee.

 

“You’re not planning to commit suicide right honey?” he asked you nervously.

 

“Of course not Baek. Do you think I’m that stupid?” you chuckled when you saw the relieved face.

 

“No no. Actually, you’re searching this for what?”

 

“Well, last week I’m reading this newspaper and there’s a new about this person that commit suicide by pier jumping. Well sounds interesting that’s why I’m reading some articles about it.”

 

“SOUNDS INTERESTING?! HONEY WIPE OFF THAT FROM YOUR MIND. IT’S NOT FUN AT ALL! ” Baekhyun shrieked.

 

“Geez okay okay fine. Don’t worry. It’s not like I’m going to do it.” You rolled your eyes.

 

“You better be. You got me an heart attack for a second.” Baekhyun breathed.

 

Well, you don’t know why, but pier jumping sounded interesting and you can’t help but felt like you want to do it.

It was that night.

 

The night that ruined it all.

 

The night of your biggest fear and nightmare.

 

   That night, the night you were supposed to spend with your friends but got cancelled due to some reasons. You didn’t tell the guyliner about it since you’re planning to surprise him. Once you got home, you thanked the taxi driver and went straight to the door, opening the door  while trying your best not to make a single noise. You put your bag aside and walked quietly to your room but you stopped in track when you hear something.

 

Moans. Moans of a woman calling Baekhyun’s name. Moans of Baekhyun calling the woman's name. 

 

   Your mind suddenly has stopped working right on the moment when you peeked through the little gaps of the opened door. The image you saw made your heart stop beating.

 

It  was Baekhyun making out with another girl who you clearly knew, Park Yoora.

 

“Yoora! Baekhyun!” you gasped while eyes b in tears, right hand’s covering your mouth.

 

   Baekhyun quickly got off from Yoora while Yoora covered herself with the mattress. They were both and the last thing you heard is Baekhyun calling your name before you running towards downstairs , storming into the guest room, locking yourself while crying until you’re left with no tear to cry anymore.

 

Was this what Baekhyun has been doing behind your back?

 

Was this what Park Yoora, your friend has been doing? 

 

Backstabbing? Cheating?

 

You thought while you laid your head on the pillow, staring at the white ceiling, feeling like a .

 

You need the truth.

 

The truth that hopefully could stop the tears shedding  from your eyes.

 

You tried thinking of any possible truth but you couldn’t think of anything.

 

Tired of thinking, you let yourself slept with an amount of unbearable pain stuck in your heart.

“Mina.. Mina.. please open the door.”  Baekhyun said softly as he knocked the locked door . Good thing before you locked yourself in, you managed to grab the room’s key , letting Baekhyun asking and begging you to open the door.

 

“Go away.” You said tiredly.

 

“But-”

 

“Just- just go away. How do you expect me to let you in after what I saw ?” You sobbed.

 

“I have to explain something. Please open the door.” He begged again.

 

You sighed in annoyance while thinking,

 

‘I really need the truth after all.’

 

“Mina please.” Baekhyun pleaded.

 

You opened the door in sudden, making Baekhyun jumped a little bit.

 

“Come in.” you snapped.

 

“Tell me the truth.” You asked, sitting on the bed while your back facing Baekyun’s back. Both facing away  from each other.

 

“Honey I -”

 

“Stop calling me honey.” you snapped.

 

Baekhyun sighed as he ruffled his hair in frustration.

 

“Yoora and I have been meeting each other since a month ago.”

 

“What are your  status with her? buddies?” you asked in a strained voice.

 

“Sort.. of.” Baekhyun answered hesitantly.

 

“You’ve been cheating behind my back I guess? Am I right? ”

 

“I- well.. Yes.” you heard him answered faintly.

 

“I think I can endure the pain. I’ve been handling all the truth that’s plain in my life quite well. I grew  up with no parents, I’m an illegitimate daughter, I’m a loner and no one likes me during my school day and now my boyfriend is cheating behind my back with the girl that I really knew. Park Yoora, my friend.” you forced yourself to say this to him- more like you’re assuring yourself instead.

 

“The truth might hurt for a while but I think I can still endure the pain.” you said again while you breathed heavily.

 

“But a lie hurts  forever.” you heard Baekhyun said.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“The truth might hut for a while but, a lie hurts forever.” Baekhyun said again. Somehow you could see nervousness in his eyes.

 

“What… do you mean by that?”

 

“I’ve told you the truth but everyday, I’ve been feeding you with lies. I.. I never love you.” Baekhyun said.

 

“What? You don’t mean it right?” you asked him as your heart shattered into pieces.

 

“I mean it. I .. I never love you. I like you but never ever I love you. I got you just because of a bet between me and my friends, Chanyeol, Kai, Luhan hyung and the others but Sehun didn’t want to join. They made a bet on me, whether I could got into a relationship with you by sending you letters.”

 

‘Of course he declined. He knew me. I’m his girlfriend’s friend.’ you thought.

 

“But the I sort of like you and I asked you out. I tried my best to love you but I can’t get myself to. I can’t love you. ” Baekhyun  said.

 

“Yoora is the girl right? The girl that you’re able to love. You guys are not just buddies am I right?”

 

“Y-yes.”

 

“You’re unbelievable.” You  whispered.

 

“Yeah and that’s why I want us to break up. Go, go and find another worthy man that love you with all of his heart. A better  man than me.” Baekhyun said  while he played with the hem of his shirt, feeling guilty.

 

“I love you so much and this is what I get?”  you whispered.

 

“You’re my perfection but this I just.. I don’t even know anymore.” you sighed.

 

“I’m sorry I can’t be your perfection. I’m not even a perfection to start with. I’m a failure to you.” Baekhyun answered.

 

“I need you to find a better man than me.” He said again.

 

“Easy  said than done.” You replied.

 

“I’m sorry.” You could heard the sincerity in his voice but yet, you remained quiet.

 

“……”

 

“This house is yours, everything is yours now. I will pay for the bills and everything. I’m-I’m sorry I couldn’t love you back. I’m sorry.” Baekhyun answered again while you closed your eyes, having this feeling that Baekhyun was on the verge of crying too.

 

“Go. J-just go away. Everything is t-too much.”

 

“I will. G-Goodbye. Until we meet again.” He said before he left the room, leaving you alone  to cry over your fate but not before he handed you a letter.

 

You opened the letter and read it. It only contained  two sentences , ten  words .

 

‘I’m not even a perfection to start with. I’m sorry.

 

Byun Baekhyun.’

 

You laughed pathetically.

 

You laughed on how ironic it seemed.

 

It all started with a letter and ended with a letter.

 

You clutched the letter while saying,

 

“How can I love another man when I’ve poured all my love to you B?”

 

---

“Where’s the nearest pier?” You asked yourself as you moaned in pain, letting the red thick liquid trickled down.

 

‘I should have commit suicide. Kill myself to end the pain. Not only things regarding Baekhyun but all the things in my life, every single one of them which is nothing but pain’  you thought.

 

You moaned in pain again as the razor made contact with your skin, slitting in, resulting more blood lost.

 

Honestly, you can’t think of anything when you walked towards the open window, standing on the window’s frame and let yourself fell.

 

You feel nothing as your head made contact with the rocks.

 

Because you can’t  feel anything in death

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So yeah.. I  just wrote a crap.

yay.