You see, Chanyeol never really had to be involved with romance. He was just apparently 'too good to be true'; that's what his elementary teachers said, at least; when in reality, he was a 6'0" dork that could barely manage making a gurgling sound as he tripped over his own two feet.

However, when he tried to get Baekhyun's heart, he became even more of an idiot than he already was.

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

It all started during the first semester of senior year in college.

While Chanyeol was plucking aimlessly on the guitar strings his hand accidently hit the edge of a nearby table; making him wince in pain from the newly formed scratch on the back on his hand. But thanks to the pain, Chanyeol was able looked up to see a boy across the room; humming to whatever he was playing on the grand piano.

Not only were his hums beautiful, but the size and energy that the tiny male produced was completely adorable.

"Yo." Chanyeol nudged L.Joe with his elbow absentmindedly with more strength than he actually thought he used. 

"What?" The short, redheaded companion replied, wincing as he massaged his rib.

"Who dat fine boy?"

L.Joe rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Speak Korean, babo."

"Who's that guy on the piano?"

The shorter squinted as he fixed his guitar's position. "Red hoodie, black skinnies, and white converse playing the piano over there?"

"Shh!" Chanyeol screamed, flailing his arms as he tried to shove one on top of his best friend's mouth. "He'll hear you!"

L.Joe Chanyeol’s hand and then shoved it other away, groaning. "He wouldn't care anyway."

"And why is that?" The taller started on the scratch on his hand.

"Because he knows me. I know him." L.Joe scoffed, snapping his fingers as if to say 'duh'.

Chanyeol his lips absentmindedly, unamusingly strumming his guitar with a pick. "Well, who is he?"

"Why do you wanna know?" The latter snorted before turning around with an accusing finger and a sinister smile. "Ah~ you like him, don't you?"

The taller blushed, scarlet reaching his neck and brushing his ear lobes. "N-No-."

L.Joe smirked before crossing his arms and leaning back. "Byun Baekhyun; what have films class together."

Chanyeol looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. "His name really sounds like-"

"You have no idea how sassy he gets when someone calls him 'bacon' - oh my god." The redhead shook his head. "But don’t worry; under all that sass and mop of beautiful brown hair, Baekhyun's actually a nice guy."

"Uh huh"

L.Joe scooted closer to his friend, waggling his eyebrows. "A really, really nice guy."

"Uh, L.Joe-"

"I heard he's so nice that he never throws or goes to any parties."

"Um…"

"So nice that he actually stays cooped up at home on the computer."

"Okay?"

L.Joe leaned in close to his ear.

"He’s such a nice guy that he's still single."

The redhead went even closer.  "And still a ."

Chanyeol pushed his friend away from him as crimson reached the corners of his face. "YAH! LEE BYUNGHUN, STOP TALKING ABOUT BYUN BAEKHYUN!"

The piano stopped playing; Baekhyun turning around to stare incredulously at the 6'0" dork holding up the kingka, L.Joe.

"What the ?"

L.Joe smiled happily as Chanyeol looked down and crawled underneath the 'keyboard kingdom;, as they called the tables of keyboards; to cry silently. 

Baekhyun gave an awkward wave while L.Joe stared back.

The redhead then walked over to where Chanyeol was still sobbing quietly, kicking underneath the table and managing to hit his friend’s shin.

"Tch; ."

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

It didn't even take half a week for Chanyeol to notice Baekhyun's appeal again.

Chanyeol couldn't stop himself from drooling as he saw Baekhyun's jiggle when he walked back and forth to move the boxes of movies for his films class.

"Yah, stop drooling." L.Joe scoffed after elbowing the taller in the ribs.

The latter blushed. "I was drooling?"

"No , there's literally a puddle of your damn saliva on the floor." The redhead awkwardly scooted away from the flustered Chanyeol.

And just then, Baekhyun shoved past the two friends and slipped over the slimy mess of drool ; the very reason Chanyeol was mourning over the $300 he lost to repay for extra services.

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

"Oh my god, I literally have no chance, do I?" Chanyeol moaned, slamming his head onto the wooden table.

L.Joe crossed his legs with a tsk. "Of course you don't, Yeol."

"You're supposed to be my best friend, man. That automatically means that you're my wing man. Hit me up and hook me up." The taller shoved the redhead's body half-heartedly in the midst of complaining. 

"It never said that in the contract."

"Yaaaahh~" Chanyeol pressed further, making L.Joe's eyebrow furrow from annoyance. "Dudeeeeeeeeee~ Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~"

The latter groaned. "No."

Chanyeol stopped to think about blackmail, and then his lips curled dangerously into a smirk. "I can hit you up with you know who."

The redhead froze. "I swear, Chanyeol, if you mean Voldemort, I will kick your to the moon and back."

"Ew, why would I even hook you up with the worst and ugliest character in my third favorite book series?"

L.Joe groaned, whipping his head to glare at Chanyeol. "Fine, you turd."

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

"Luhan! You'll never believe what happened to me today!" Baekhyun screamed for his roommate, looking upset when Luhan groggily appeared; hair shaggy and clothes hastily put on.

Luhan groaned before plopping himself down on the couch and smirking. "What, you finally got laid?"

"Yeah, no." The shorter glared at the Chinese. "But…the L.Joe came up to me today!"

"I CALL BULL!" Luhan stood up and pointed a slender finger at Baekhyun's chest.

"I AM NOT JOKING! GOD, HE'S HOTTER UP CLOSE!"

Luhan narrowed his eyes. "Then?"

Baekhyun sighed dreamily. "HE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID 'PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY?'!"

The Chinese froze. "...And then?"

"AND I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS A ER FOR FRENCH GUYS BECAUSE COME ON, FRENCH GUYS, LUHAN, YOU CAN'T REJECT THEM!"

Luhan blinked at him. "Look, I know you have a man crush on L.Joe, but I hate to break it to you, he ain't French. He speaks English though."

Baekhyun smiled. "If it's the closest I can get, it's the closest I can get."

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

The next day after class ended, Baekhyun opened his gym locker to find a baguette sitting on a paper plate with butter spread and an attached note.

His heart melted as he read the note.

'hey byunbaek (is it alright that i call you that even though we don't really know each other?)

This is a message from your secret admirer. I’ll reveal myself within the next two months, but if you end up guessing, you have to confront me ;)

Anyhow, I heard you like French things, so I got you a baguette with butter spread

- p.c’

 

( ΦωΦ )

"Hey, L.Joe, did it work?"

L.Joe snorted. "He wouldn't shut up about it during films class. And French class."

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow. "Since when were you guys in French together?"

"Ever since you started taking Japanese, baka."

"Yah! Lee Byunghun!"

 

( ΦωΦ )

Two weeks later, Baekhyun found a black beret in his gym locker, along with another note.

'I hope you like the beret I got you <3

-p.c’

Needless to say, after that, Baekhyun wore the beret every day.

( ΦωΦ )

Baekhyun pretty much grew desperate the next two weeks for this so called 'p.c.' fellow.

Since Park Chanyeol seemed to be the only legitimate suspect, Baekhyun went with his gut and started observing him.

And much to his surprise, Chanyeol was actually pretty attractive once you looked past some things.

Like the way his brown hair seemed to be straight but always tucked behind his ears.

And the way he bit his lip and fisted his locks when he got frustrated.

And the way he would make the most obnoxious and awkward noises in all situations he was in.

Okay, the last one was actually the weirdest thing about him.

But, what could he do?

( ΦωΦ )

It's not until the start of the next semester when he receives a note.

'Dear byunbaek,

I can tell you're getting pretty restless and desperate. But I think you're cute <3

And just so you know, I am male, so ha! that narrows down some choices, doesn't it?

Anyhow, since I forgot the third present I was supposed to give you today, I had my friend help me out in writing sort of a French poem

plz don't be upset I take Japanese so this is new

ok here goes:

j'adore croissants

j'adore baguettes

but j'adore bacon the most

you're basically my coup de foutre

so just know that je t'aime byunbaek <3'

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

Baekhyun first took the note to Luhan to see if he could decipher it, even though he only spoke fluent Mandarin and Korean.

"I hate to break it to you, but this is French."

"Yeah, I know."

"Just because I know Chinese and Korean does not mean that I am a living translator, Baekhyun."

"Well then, ." Baekhyun huffed before scurrying away to find his French teacher.

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

"Monsieur, this looks like a love letter." Madame Tiffany commented.

"That's because it is what it is, Madame." Baekhyun said respectfully. "All I can translate though is j'adore."

"You see, monsieur," The French teacher explained. "The writer of this poem used French and English terms.

So j'adore baguettes would mean-"

"I really like baguettes."

"Same goes for croissants, even though they're not French."

"I really like croissants. And aren't croissants Austrian, Madame?"

"Oui! Now, translate the next verse."

Baekhyun squinted. "But I really like bacon the most."

Madame Tiffany giggled. "Isn't that your nickname, Monsieur Baekhyun?"

"Madame Tiffany, please."

"Oh, alright," She giggled again, "The next one says you're basically my coup de foutre-"

"Coup de foutre? What does that mean?"

The teacher's eyes widened, cheeks going aflame as she burst into a wild coughing fit. "Um, uh-"

"Is it an alternation of coup de foudre, which basically means first love or love at first sight?"

"I think he tried to imply that, oh, but dear God, he implied the wrong thing." The teacher's cheeks went redder as tears streamed down her face.

"Madame Tiffany, translate, please?"

She shook her head. "He said you’re basically my cup of , Monsieur Baekhyun."

That was when Baekhyun promptly shrieked and got a headache from shrieking too high. "Um – uh – wow."

Madame Tiffany shook her head, crying and hyperventilating hysterically as she clutched the piece of paper between her hands. "Oui, Monsieur Baekhyun, you have quite the guy trying to earn your heart."

Baekhyun promptly blushed. "Err, uh, I guess you could say that, Madame Tiffany. Does the last verse translate to 'so just know that I really like byunbaek the most'?"

Madame Tiffany laughed. "Yes, Monsieur. Now go away and meet your boyfriend-to-be otherwise I will beat you with my baguette."

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

Chanyeol groaned, glancing at L.Joe. "Yah, L.Joe! Has he been talking to you lately?"

L.Joe smiled. "Yeah, actually. He talks about you a lot."

The taller frowned. "Wait what? Are you ting me? We only have music class and world history together, I swear-"

The redhead punched the latter’s shoulder, smiling. "You babo, this means he likes you!"

Chanyeol sighed, "But I only have a week until the plan for the confession takes place."

Before L.Joe could lean over and swat his shoulder, Baekhyun appeared, smiling and waving to the two. "Hey Yeol, hey L.Joe~"

Chanyeol could only sigh dreamily as he lifted a hand and waved back, L.Joe nodding coolly at the other's turned back.

And when another student slipped in the pile of saliva, Chanyeol realized that he could drool dreamily too.

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

Five days before his planned confession to Baekhyun was supposed to take place, Chanyeol found himself in front of the French class during lunch time.

He didn't even have to knock before Madame Tiffany yanked him in.

"You," She snarled, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You're Park Chanyeol, aren't you?"

"H-Hai, M-Madame."

*Wow, way to go, douche. She's a French professor, not your Japanese sensei, you blabbering babo-*

Madame giggled as she sat on top of her desk in front of the room while Chanyeol stayed awkwardly rooted to the floor. "So, what brings you here, Monsieur Chanyeol?"

"Well, Madame, has Baekhyun been confronting you about this, um, how should I put this-?"

"Cut the bull, p.c, I've never had you in my class before, but I can obviously tell that you're his secret admirer." Madame Tiffany's smirk was something Chanyeol really wanted to smack off her face. "What’d you come here for?"

He paused.

"I need your help in winning over Baekhyun's French-biased heart."

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

"Chanyeol" Madame Tiffany called out as Chanyeol bowed once again before stepping to exit the doorway.

"Oui, Madame Tiffany?"

She chuckled. "Your plan is totally foolproof and it'll work even if you mess everything up like you always do since you're that much of a nerd, but just note that you will get Baekhyun in the end."

Chanyeol didn't know what to say, but luckily, she did.

"He's practically head over heels for you, kid."

"...Wow, um, arigato, Madame."

She shook her head, tsking as the boy exited the room with a broad grin spread across his face. 

"By the way, it's coup de foudre, not fourte!"

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

On his birthday and last Friday of the season, Baekhyun found himself yanked into the hallway bathroom next to the French room where he was supposed to go to.

"WHAT THE -?!"

The petite Madame from French class revealed herself. "KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN!'

Baekhyun groaned. "Madame Tiffany? What the hell-"

"LISTEN, MONSIEUR!" She jabbed a pointy finger into his chest, and Baekhyun nearly cried out from the pain he suffered from the filed fingernail. "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FRENCH CLASS TODAY, AND I PROMISE YOU THAT YOU WILL RUIN YOUR EYELINER IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO ME!"

The taller groaned. "Madame, I know you mean well, but-"

"YOU ARE NOT GOING ON A DATE IN THIS ATTIRE!" Madame Tiffany shrieked with distaste. "A HOODIE AND SKINNIES? WHAT ARE YOU, A BOY?!"

Baekhyun snapped his fingers sassily. "Yes, I actually do have a . Would you like to see?"

"Ugh, I'd rather have with a hobo that pisses in Snapple bottles than see your unmanly ." She spat, "Remember that I have a girlfriend back in France that I visit every two weeks."

The male snorted. "Alright, alright. Wait, did you say I'm going on a date?"

Madame Tiffany muttered something about the ice cream flavor vanilla, before tackling Baekhyun down to the bathroom floor. 

", GET YOUR POINTY- FINGERS AWAY FROM MY CHEST!"

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

Baekhyun was basically surprised out of all things when he saw Chanyeol, complete with a crappy drop-back of the Eiffel Tower, yellow LED Chrisrmas lights stretching across the ceiling, and a picnic table, on the school roof.

But that's probably the least of all his surprises.

What honestly caught his eye is how Chanyeol was sporting a skin-fitting red-and-white striped V-Neck sweater with the addition of black skinnies, black Oxfords, a black fohawk, a black beret, and who could ever forget the most important thing; a black handle-bar moustache.

Baekhyun now felt overdressed as he scanned the bowtie and silver tuxedo Madame Tiffany forced on him.

"Bonjour, Monsieur Byunbaek!" He proclaimed, gesturing wildly with a baguette. "Oui! It is I, your secret admirer, P.C.!"

From afar, Madame Tiffany and L.Joe sighed because of Chanyeol's stupidity.

Baekhyun laughed, making Chanyeol freeze. "Chanyeol, I know it's you, take off the moustache."

Chanyeol pouted, dropping the baguette and bringing his hands up to the ends of his fake moustache. "NO! I LIKE THIS MOUSTACHE!"

"CHANYEOL; TAKE OFF THE MOUSTACHE!"

"NEVER!"

"And this is why Chanyeol has never been able to get laid for the entire twenty-one years he has lived." L.Joe snorted as he watched the two chase each other.

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

Two hours later, after a wacky baguette (Baekhyun's choice of weapon) and croissant (Chanyeol's unlucky choice) fight, Baekhyun managed to grab ahold of Chanyeol's cheeks as he tackled him onto the floor. "AHA!"

Chanyeol wiggled his nose before protesting again. "NONONONONONONONONONO! I AM STAYING IN CHARACTER FOR THIS, BAEK!"

Baekhyun smirked before diving down to rip the moustache off. "HAHA!"

He wiggled the moustache tauntingly in front of Chanyeol's eyes.

But then, Chanyeol bluntly leaned forward and connected their lips.

He could have fallen down to the ground if he kissed Baekhyun standing up, because the electricity going through his body was definitely more than enough to send him crumpling.

And instead of Baekhyun shoving him away and cursing at him for doing such a thing to the almighty diva; the taller was definitely surprised when the shorter moved his arms around his neck and drew him closer.

And much to Baekhyun's surprise, he felt Chanyeol's tongue somehow probe it way into his mouth, making him moan loudly.

As the blush reached his cheeks after their make-out session, Chanyeol smiled and took ahold of Baekhyun's chin. 

"I hope that that was French enough for you."

L.Joe let out a cry as he curled up into a ball at the cheesy pick-up line that he specifically told Chanyeol not to use.

Madame Tiffany retched accordingly with L.Joe's cries.

Baekhyun smiled, adding his adorable giggle face which made Chanyeol bite his lip. "It was more than enough French for me."

He tilted his head up to peck Chanyeol, his hands the latter’s hair. "Trust me."

And in that moment, all they could do was share completely goofy grins as they started at each other, finally becoming what they wanted to be.

 

( ΦωΦ )

 

Although Chanyeol was already a big idiot with the weirdest friends and the most outrageous life, he was pretty sure that his sassy diva of a boyfriend would be there with him, hopefully with a beret and a strip of bacon with him (if you know what I mean).