Madea saves Kris and exo
MADEA SAVES KRISMadea stands in the kitchen hunching over to iron whilst Joe lazes in the lounge watching the television on a quiet and sunny day.
"Breaking news, EXO South Korean boyband seems to be having troubles with a lawsuit said to be filed by one of the members"
Joe: Yo Maaaaaabel! come check this out, your boys on the tellie.
Madea: What the hell you talking bout Joe don't make me come smack you upside the head.
Joe: Hurhurhur yeh you oversized elephant...you would fall right through that there wood floor first.
Madea: Say it again! say it again I dare your to SAY. IT. AGAIN to my damn face!
Joe: Well bring your dang ugly face here then.
Madea: You messing with me Joe, thats dangerous to ya health you already 3/4 in the grave.
Joe: *gasp* Damn you is mean! just come see what's on the tellie!
Madea drags her feet across the wodden floors into the lounge smacking Joe as she takes a seat in her sofa and stares intently at the TV
"It is said that Kris is having problems with his health and may have been overworked by his company, there has been an uproar in the fandoms and no one knows for sure what will happen to these young men and their future"
Madea: Oh hell naw! *Madea springs up from the sofa and starts pacing the lounge* they messing with my bois! Joe hand me my key-
Joe: Which one? I got the grenade safe key, the rifle safe key, the AK47 safe key, the pistol safe key--
Madea: What the hell! just give me all of them, it's going down now!
Madea grabs the keys and her handbag as she runs to the kitchen grabbing her car keys and sprints out the door
Joe: Aint ya gonna pack yer clothes
Madea: Aint nobody got time for that
Joe: Hope the plane can get off the ground heeheehee
Madea: Shut the hell up you old fool! I'mma beat you first!
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Madea rams the taxi into the parking meter and flings open the car door hopping out and swinging her handbag onto her shoulders, she shuts the door as a small parking officer runs up to her waving his hands frantically speaking even faster than he's running
Madea: What the hell is you saying?
Officer: Sir sir you here park no no
Madea: What did you just call me? if you put your hands on me, I'm gonna punch all that korean out your throat. lil man you better back the hell- BACK THE HELL AWAY
Officer: S-s-sorry mandam
Madea: S-s-so move ya and show me where them SM building is at?
Officer: Right t-t-there mandam
Madea: T-t-thank you
She pushes past the officer who just stands there holding the parking ticket in his trembling hands. Madea stomps her way over to the building and sees a bunch of girls crowding outside the building screaming and some even seemed to have been camping outside infront of the entrance
Madea: Those damn squirrels gon give me a headpain *she grips her ears* someone tell me how to get in this place!
A group of fans break away and approach her
Fan 1: You can't
Madea: hmm excuse me? hmm say what?
Fan 2: Only if you know the password
Fan 3: Or are a sasaeng...
Madea: Saucing? okay where them saucings at?
Fans: O_O
Madea begins jumping and pushing through the crowd of girls stomping her feet as they watch her throwing a tantrum for a couple of minutes. A small girl runs up to her when she finally stops running and whispers something in her ear before disappearing back within the crowd
Madea: Why dint yall say so before, making me lose all my energy now
Madea glides to the door and punches in the code pushing open the door she pokes her head inside and checks around before quickly slamming the door shut so the swarm of fangirls don't get through. She starts making her way through the building like in a Mission Impossible movie ducking behind every pillar and sliding across every wall. She sneakily makes her way past the multiple practice rooms and crawls past one that seemed to have music coming out of it
*eureurong eureurong eureurongi*
Madea quickly crawls back to the entrance of the door with the music playing on the other side, she kicks it open surprising the people inside and walks in nodding at all the speechless boys
Madea: Heller, how are ya durin? pretty. like damn you're really pretty...*crickets chirping*...Follow me then
The boys all freeze not understanding a thing that just happened everyone immediatley turns to look at Kris who looked even more confused. If he didn't know what it was saying then they were seriously doomed
Kris: Follow *he points at Madea*...it
The members all nod and wait for Kris to start walking followed by Xiumin and Luhan, soon all the boys were sneaking around the SM building ducking and diving into empy rooms and even closed doors in Kai's misfortune whenever they saw what seemed to be a staff member approaching eventually making it to the CEO's office. Madea halts them and kicks in the door as the boys watch in awe.
Madea: Where you at *turns to the boys* what's his name?
Suho: Kim Youngmin
Madea: Where you at Kim Youngmin? you look like a candidate for a beatdown
KYM: Who are you? how did you get in? Why are you boys not practicing?
Madea: I'm sorry what language are you speaking?... it sounds like bullshiet! my name? my name? Imma beat your so hard you won't even remember your own name! And these boys aint gon practice today
Exo: ...
KYM: Please get out and don't waste my time-
Madea: ohhh *takes out gun* I don't like you, say something else smart to me *exo start backing out the door* SIT *everyone plops down* i got about 27 people in my head and they was all about to beat your ! I'm telling you I'm crazy. I will burn this place down
KYM: Mam I will call the police-
Madea: *grabs kim youngmin* I aint scared of no po-po call the po-po hoe call the po-po *points to exo* look at those young boys look how thin they are I could blow them away *smack* you overwork *smack* them, the Bible say in second Deuteronomo of the book of Jericho that the eye for the tooth and the tooth for the people and everybody who got the eye you punch them in it
KYM: What?
Madea: ERMAHGERD! I can tell you don't read the Bible...you need to stop acting all ignorant and start appreciating life dammit!
KYM: Listen here, It's common sense that these boys-
Madea: Hell if what you got is common sense then I don't want none
Madea starts beating Kim Youngmin and the exo boys begin cheering her on as youngmin begs for mercy, Chanyeol starts doing sassy head moves and Baekhyun starts clicking his fingers in a zig-zag shape as the other members watch in amusement
Madea: *turns to boys with kim youngmin in a headlock* do that one more time boi imma come there and snap you like a twig *Chanyeol freezes mid ballet twirl and Baekhyun sits on his hands* and you *pulls kim youngmin* apologize to these young boys
Exo: YES
Madea: *sigh* So help me Godt
Exo goes silent
KYM: I'm sorry just let go I won't overwork you all, all of you can take one day off *squeeze* one weeeek *madea puts him on the floor and sits on him* ONE MONTH!!!!! I---can't----breeeeathe!
Exo begin cheering as Madea finally gets off the unconscious Kim Youngmin and dust herself off, they all bow in sync and can't hide their smiles any longer.
Madea: Praise the Lort oooh hellerlujer say it with me
Exo: helloo
Madea: hell to the lur
Exo: hell to the leer
Madea: luujer
Exo: luuyeeeer
Madea: good godt
Exo: good gott
Madea: stawp now
Lay: stowp...now
Madea: CHEEZUS! boy...I don't even.... oh and you Krees come here boi take a seat now lette me ask yer a qwestion
Kris: yes m-m-mam
Madea: you see them boys over there *exo wave happily* they family and ya never leave family behind just like my man stitch say Abama means family and family means nobedy get left behind-
Luhan: Actually its-*Xiumin quickly covers Luhan's mouth*
Madea: I will haunt you
Luhan: (O_O)
Kris: I love them I really do they are my brothers for Life but my health is deteriorating and-
Madea: detterating...
Kris: My health is bad-
Madea: Well then you sit your down at the doctor and ya get healed you drink the holy sprite water cleans the system right out..read your bible boi, read your bible
Kris: But people are saying such bad things about the other members, I can handle it when it's me but I can't let them say things about the other exo members, they are my family-
Madea: Folks are gonna talk you listening boys all of you listen, this is important, translate for them Krees, them people gon talk about you till the day they die and they will say all the bad things they can think of to make sure they hurt you, aint nothing you can do about it, let em talk beacuse it aint about what they call you or what they say it's about what you answer to you remember that you hear
Kris: I think I understand now
Exo: yes
Madea: Good now go out there put on a good show and praise the lort, We is living for the Lort
Exo: EXO fighting we are one
Madea: FIGHT....wrrfggv..ONE! whoooo!!! Now sign here for me!
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2 weeks later
Joe is sitting at home in his comfy chair watching the news
*Breaking news: A madwoman broke into the SM building and attacked the CEO and now the CEO of the company has quit and it seems that Super Junior's Siwon has decided to buy the company, it also seems that Kris's lawsuit has been withdrawn and he will not be leaving SM but he will be resting throughout their solo concert. Fans seem overjoyed to have their OT12 back, Kris will be under constant check and will be getting better, the other members have stated that it was a miracle that has happened to them and they want to thank the angel that helped them*
Joe: pfft angel! more like the devil in disguise...damn that crazy woman actually did it. Where she at now?
Meanwhile in South Korea in a noraebang in Seoul
Madea: blahblahblah....i love this song....overdose....blahblahblah....overdose
Exo: (O_O)
Sehun: Hyung I want to sing Let it--
Kris: shhhh sehun ah
*Madea scream singing in the background*
Exo: just let it go maknae let it go
Sehun: (-_-)
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